Uninvited

Hey gang, welcome back to 80 Horror Throwback. So I have to say the notion of a Killer Cat film outside Poe's Black Cat via Lucio Fulci is foreign territory. Seen enough Killer Dog flicks than you can shake a stick at. So why not add a few more unlikely scenarios. Say for example, a mafia don hosting a party on his yacht in the Caribbean? Scientists tinkering with Fluffy's DNA creating a virtual monster? This is Uninvited a.k.a. Killer Cat

They gave him one too many shots.

Yup sadly only one English Alternative Title this time around. What can you do?   Our film was written and directed by Greydon Clark (Black Shampoo, Angel's Revenge, Final Justice, Dark Future, Mad Dog Coll and Star Games) so yes there is an exploitation background and two of his films have featured on MST3K so you know we may have some chop in the water with this one.

With our instrumental and credits interspersed with a mild bit of exposition, our two doctors believe the test subject has a tumor ranging inside of it (Obligatory Arnold quote: "Eet's not a Tumah!) so you know PETA and ASPCA are already annoyed. Our subject is a fluffy orange tabby that looked a bit disturbed at a impeding shot they were going to give him when he he bolts away. Should they have closed the door? Hmm, sound thinking but we don't have time for rational thought.

A further note is one of the doctors calls for radiation security. So now we have armed men in hazmat suits? The furball is nuclear??! What the nine hells is that about? Tranqing him, the security team thinks they got him (It's a trick, get an ax.) and he proceeds to go sick house on them, spraying cherry pie all over the walls. Yes some bizarre mutation allowing him to house another creature inside of him like a host to a parasite (Thanks for the spoiler reveal in 3 minutes and forty-eight seconds!) allowing him to skibble away with POV shots that would have been better served on a Jeeper Creeper because the shot looks like either a human hunkered over or a Great Dane with a Go Pro.

Dr Grady (Greydon Clark) and his lab assistant (Only titled as Lab Assistant) Paul proceed to lower mesh metal gates in a parking lot have secured the building and they're going after the cat. Yeah best of luck with that. I expect Boysenberry blood spatter similar to the previous cherry pie gunk. FYI, the stock cat sound effects in ADR is really limited and slightly ridiculous.

Subplot 2 is two girls trying to find a hotel for Spring Break are aided by a mysterious Mr. Graham (Alex Cord of Route 66, The Brotherhood, Police Sotry, Airwolf, Airwolf TV Movie and Fire from Below), a shady fellow living in the hotel. Hmm... the plot thickens? Suzanne (Shari Shattuck of Hot Child in the City, Freddy's Nightmares, Goddess of Love, Mad About You, Death Spa, Dallas and Silk Stalkings) and Bobbie (Clare Carey of Zombie High, Waxwork, Coach So Little Time, Point Pleasant and Jericho) are just a tad clueless to the bright neon sign over Graham's head that says: I AM A MAFIOSO but it happens.

Tee hee.  We have bewbs.

Graham needs to tend to a "meeting" with his "associates" Mike (George Kennedy of The Silent Witness, Have Gun- Will Travel, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte,Airport, The Naked Gun, Dallas and The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear) and Albert (Clu Galager of Have Gun- Will Travel, The Rebel, The Tall Man, The Virginian, The Return of the Living Dead, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, Walker, Texas Ranger and Feast), to go over Subplot 3 of the Mafia angle and a deal of great importance.

It seems their weaselly trader/banker Darryl (Michael Holden of Automan, Freddy's Nightmares,Cheers, L.A. Law, Reasonable Doubts, Fallout and 24) is having a devil of a time, money laundering. The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has been snooping around the irregularities of flux of money is getting paranoid being small potatoes and knows if he screws up he will have 10 to 25 years with a cellmate/boyfriend name of Bubba. A hot tub bubbly bath of drowning later and we know Darryl's not gonna flip.

Vic Vega didn't age well.

Felonious feline forays to the dock, sneaks on aboard the yacht and the body count starts racking up. Again it's a cat. Regardless of its mutation, it's called a hammer. They're five bucks. BONK! BONK!

The puppetry is fair, but it doesn't exactly strike fear into my heart. The husband/wife duo Jim and Debi Boulden (Predator, White fang, Strays, Strange Days, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch) built a nasty looking tabby but again not terror inducing as a whole regardless of the professional creation and the camera blocking.

I am told this particular flick wound up in Rifftrax via Michael Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett so yes you may want to watch that version than this straight through. An additional amusement with the level of gore, nudity and blood spattering against the bulk heads, this cinematic creation fell under PG-13.

A ratings error or did it go straight to video in the day and no one was paying attenion? I do not have all the answers on that one. With 90 minutes on the clock, it is distracting enough for unintentional humor and yes I would say it is a good bad movie for those that love them. So if you want some mindless violence, jiggly girl gallivanting and carnage candy, well this is the film for you. 

This is my stop, Tex!

Night of the Comet

Welcome back to the blog! Today we start 80s Horror Throwback. Here's hoping at any rate, all the films chosen for this I have never seen. GASP! Yes, it is true. I am slightly lacking in my 80s Horror alumni. With that I bring you mad scientists, a scourge of zombies and two Valley girls. For those that already know this title, yeah it never fell on my radar. As for the rest of us, sit back and bear with me. This is Night of the Comet a.k.a. Teenage Mutant Horror Comet Zombies.

SMG toting teens!

Got to be honest, never saw the working title turned print. At the helm of this ship is writer/director Thom Eberhardt (Sole Survivor, The Night Before, Without a Clue, Captain Ron, Face Down, Ratz and I Was a Teenage Faust), so with his colorful background he has handled quite a few genre so should be fun.  Warning for younger and mature readers!   There will be...80s hair! Teased with Aqua Net or possibly more Mousse than Bullwinkle. You have been warned!

This comet returns to the planet Earth and the world seems totally stoked. (80s lingo, I apologize) Well that is except for Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart of The Apple, The Last Starfighter, Weekend at Bernie's, Dead at 17, Limitless and Red Dead Redemotion II) Samantha Belmont (Kelli Maroney of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Chopping Mall, Ryan's Hope, Big Bad Mama II, Not of This Earth, Scream Queen Hot Tub Party, Pop Star and Hell's Kitty). In their collective off hours not working for a movie theater as ushers, I guess they kill werewolves and vampires. Belmont...Castlevania joke? Sigh... Moving on, there are perks for Regina as she's necking with Danny Picket er um Depree (Michael Bowen of Valley Girl, Private Resort, Iron Eagle, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Walking Tall and Lost) in the projection booth.

Zombie Grady Sanford, NOoOoOoOo!!!!

Meanwhile Samantha is stuck at a Comet party, watching her way too flirty stepmom Doris(Sharon Farrell of Marlowe, The Reivers, Lone Wolf McQuade, Can't Buy Me Love, Arccade, Yakuza Connection JAG and Broken at Love) try to mount everything while hubby is out of town.

A low filter over the camera with dust blowing everywhere indicates that L.A.isn't doing so hot. Red dust blowing all around when it dawns on you that red dust is PEOPLE!!! Cars, homes and the streets are cluttered with crumpled piles of clothes. One could almost call them the lucky few, just obliterated to carbon atoms. Regina wakes after a most likely disappointing sex with Depree and stumbles into what I can only describe as a survival horror video game but she only gets one life. DUN DUN DUN!!! Thankfully she does upgrade past her melee weapon, the monkey wrench and has borrowed a cycle to check on her sister Sam.

Now how does a Valley girl defend herself, you ask? Well she's an Army brat, so that means hand to hand and firearms training. Noticing the downtown is as deserted as a Toto concert, Regina makes her way back home.

Last Known Photograph.

The zombies are capable of speech and using weapons, so no Romero formula there. Maybe their just hideously scarred cannibals. Yeah that makes everything so much better. The whole while I am watching this when trucker Hector Gomez (Robert Beltran of Calender Girl Murders, Slam Dance, Models Inc., Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force, Manticore and Big Love) comes on screen, I am torn between making Lone Wolf McQuade Kayo references or Chakotay Star Trek:Voyager references.

During the interval, an underground location known as a think tank actually talks to Sam on the radio but she's a bit of an airhead and didn't get details.

The shopping montage reminiscent of Dawn of the Dead. Jamming out to Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", was a nice touch as well. A shoot-out with Mall Mauraders was interesting as well.

What you have hear is a post apocalyptic film with a touch of Dawn of the Dead, Valley Girl and Better Off Dead. Gruesome FX, kick ass girls and who truly knows the think tank's ultimate goals.

With half a million in the kitty for pre and post production, our zombie FX was handled by veteran makeup artists David B. Miller (Freddy's Nightmares, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Needful Things, My Girl 2, Night of the Scarecrom, The Mangler and Batman & Robin) and William Snyder (John Carpenter's The Thing,Trial by Terror, Running Hot, Savage Streets, Night of the Comet and Barfly), this film grossed over 14 million. Not a bad investment there at all..

The biggest impressive creation was the think tank. All done with scale models and forced perspective and trust me, without the Blu-Ray release; it is damn hard to tell otherwise. That gorgeous bike was a 1972 650cc Triumph T120 Bonneville and yeah it is damn hard to come by these days.

Interesting side note, the theater Regina and Depree work at is the El Rey Theater, a historic theater used in films like: Thank God It's Friday, Zombiethon and Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back. Okay, I thought it was interesting,

Finding a copy of this isn't too difficult but thank God I am not doing a Video Review on it. I have to cover international, VHS, re-distribution in the credits or someone would complain. These days, the 2007 MGM release for DVD and the 2013 Shout! Factory Scream! Factory Blu-ray release covers quite a bit. I for one will be adding this to my collection.

Clowns.  Harbingers of Doom.

Minds on My Money

Hey there folks. I am back and I have a doozy here to review. Fella by the name of Shane Vozar sought me out for a quick review on his film. Hey, it's what I do, babies. Now as I understand it, he has been playing this horror host character Mormo for about ten years and this flick sort of unfolds like an acid trip and a seminar at the same time. This is Minds on My Money.

Evil Ernie??

With work on A Bulldog for Christmas and Bloody Island I had to dig a bit to find what other work he might be upto and came across a cable access series called Chester Grim's Mausoleum. Along his YouTube channel entitled Mormo Zine.

So yes this feels more like a introduction to a film, detailing what he wants from it, rather than showing us what he could do in horror. More of a step by step setup through SEO, Social media and handling cryptocurrency. Um, I don't seem to find a movie on here. There is eerie stock horror organ music, we have a post production flame effect similar to that explosion one I like to use.

A dastardly duo!

It's not really clear the purpose of the film. It's got plenty of ideas going but there is not real focuse or subject. I am afraid it bounces are over. I have no idea what I am watching. Pro cryptocurrency accounts? Bolstering increased views? I normally put out an objective review on most but I will be damned if I knew what I was watching.

I was under the belief that this was a horror film he had not released to the public yet. Instead I just see tips on increasing algorithm that may or may not bone smaller subscriptions. 

As confused as I was, I leave you gentle readers the link to it, Minds on My Money

I guess that is all I have,folks. This week I will be tackling some 80s Horror flicks so I hope you enjoy my take on those as well.

Captain Spaulding Casual Friday.

Robowoman

Hiya boys and girls! I'm back and ready to blog. That fricking #34 Rotten Ramblin' On took far too much time editing. Will explain at a later date. Today, a director who you all by now if you have been reading this blog, contacted me for a write-up. Rather a regular on this blog, director/writer/editor Dustin Ferguson (Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die and Nemesis 5: The New Model) asked if I wouldn't mind giving his flick the once over. Naturally, the answer is yes.  Penned by writer Mike Reeb (Nemesis 5, House of Pain, Horndog's Beach Party) gives off  the styling feeling almost like a hybrid of Ms. 45 and Robocop, I am completely down for this. This is Robowoman.

Petite and pistol packing!

With an opening shot of L.A.via some damn fine drone footage and treated some radio exposition of violent crimes, we follow the story of Vivica Stevens ( Dawna Lee Heising of Blade Runner, Kung Fu: The Movie, Forbidden Warrior, Waiting for Dracula, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance and Meathook Massacre II), hard at work for a temp agency and anyone that has worked temp can appreciate that grind, scowls from the regulars that you are a scab worker and so on.

Hounding her for a night on the town, a persistant co-worker Jonathan (Johnathan Nation of Flight World War II, Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills, Circus Kane, Jurassic Galaxy and Runaway Nightmare) is pleading for a date; reluctantly Vivica lowers her shields and decides to give this goof a chance. I wasn't really feeling good vibrations of this cat, but hey I'm not female or gay, so what the hell do I know?

She's looking for Sarah Connor?

Still being sensible, Vivica calls her roommate Carlenee (Sue Price of Nemesis 2: Nebula, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Nemesis 4: Death Angel, Nemesis: The New Model and House of Pain) to give her the heads up that she will be out with Jonathan and a few of his buddies. Carlenee tells her to be careful and use good judgement. Sheesh, okay Mom. It's just Robby's (Gregory Blair of AbsurdTV Show, Horndogs Beach Party, Abaddon, Ugly Sweater Party, Lockdown, Garden Party Massacre and Wall of Flesh: A Vintage Comedy)birthday. What could go wrong?

The night goes for a turn for the worse as Jonathan and his "buddies" jump poor Vivica in a parking lot and proceed to...will "bad touch" do well enough for you folk? Yeah I know, I know rape revenge isn't my best subgenre to tackle but bear with me. Viciously attacked and left for dead, Vivica is barely hanging on, needing help badly. Carlenee tracks her to the park finding her in the mess that she is in, violated and hurt.

Isolated in a hospital, Vivica is touch and go, a Doctor Michaels (Mel Novak of Game of Death, Cat in the Cage, An Eye for an Eye, Future War, Vampire Assassin, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Check Point and Holy Terror) and his assistant Hannah (Vida Ghaffari of Near Death, Circus of Dread, The Mindy Project, Eye on Entertainment, Facebook Live with Ford & Vida, Horndogs Beach Party, Holy Terror, Suspense and Hybristophilla) offering Vivica a new arm, a means of rewiring her optic nerves and giving her life back. Maybe not as before but better than bed ridden and injured. Helloooo Nurse Hannah! Sorry, sucker for a pretty face.

Moving right along, the procedure is a bit delicate and not completely legal but it is the building blocks of cybernetics. Carlenee must decide for Vivica and save her friend. Undergoing surgery, she is outfitted with a visor to compensate for her eye damage and now a killer right hook. The punch. They didn't give her a hook for an arm. Emotionally, Vivica is trying to keep things together but not able to cry is turning her stomach. Perhaps some martial arts and self defense to ease the soul, mind and body?

Confronting her demons, Vivica tries to move on from that night and Carlenee is really being the awesome, supportive friend she needs but she cannot shake it away from her thoughts. She seems to be off center with all the odd series of murders happening in her neighborhood. I'd think about moving but that's me.

L.A. after 2 p.m.

In a nutshell ,we have a Sci-Fi look at modern hate crimes, rape and murder and how society doesn't seem to register it being horrific as it really is. This blend of a rape revenge/science fiction shows Dawna can really perform. To see her range of cold decisive to conflicted and emotional was a real treat. I couldn't get over how warm Sue Price was in her performance as well. Keep in mind, I have only seen Sue Price as a muscle bound warrior crossing space and time, so a nurturing role was a bit startling but welcome. My only complaint is we needed a villain worthy of David Hess (Last House on the Left, Hitch-Hike, House on the Edge of the Park and Swamp Thing) or Henry Silvia (The Manchurian Candidate, Above the Law and Dick Tracy).  Jonathan Nation just looks like a really nice guy. 

With returns of regulars in the Ferguson alumni is legendary Scream Queen Brinke Stevens (Private School, Sole Survivor, Fatal Games, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Cheerleader Massacre) actor/producer Mark Popejoy (Mark Popejoy of Die Sister, Die!, The Eyes of Isabelle, Gloved Murderess and Shivers Down Your Spine) and Clint Beaver (The Dummy 2, Tales for the Campfire 2, Meathook Massacre II, Worng Side of the Tracks, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Amityville: Evil Never Dies), it is easily understood that Ferguson is easy going, know what to expect from his cast and crew and they deliver in record time.

A quick and special shoutout at SFX creator, Joe Castro(Xenophobia, Terror Toons 4, 9 Ways to Hell and Night of the Demons 3). Responsible for Dawna's visor and cyberarm, she embodies looking like a badass and stunt coordinator Shaun Vetick (Blood Rites, Flyover Country, Flat Water Terrors Volume 1, Say Goodbye, Grace: A Detective Story and Robowoman) giving our cyborg some martial arts training and pointers. Kudos for Wilheim screams (Stock sound effect of a man screaming used in over 389 films and dozens upon dozens of TV shows) being used.

Long term view? This definitely screams out of a sequel. Hell maybe two. We'll just have to wait and see.

Candid pose?  Perhaps.

Reign of the Supermen

And I am back. Still editing the podcast last week. Lot of audio clean up so clearly time for a blog. I was 16 and ultimately the big blue boy scout faced off with what many believed an unstoppable foe. In the end, both this Doomsday killing machine and Superman destroyed one another, thus killing each other. Understand, several annuals of Superman throughout the years; they always hinted that Superman could die and until 1992, those were always the building blocks to the Elseworlds (DC Comics version of Marvel's What If...) So 26 years later, this year it was placed on the small and big screen for viewers to watch what overall was a decent story line and beginning of new and old characters in his universe. This is The Reign of Supermen.

Using his X-ray peepers at a 24 Hour Fitness. Shame!

Glossing over the three part crossovers of the Superman titles and Justice League, the world mourned the loss of one of their greatest heroes, many villains looked to Metropolis as ripe for the pickings and the League carrying the weight of the rest of the planet without him. Four separate beings bearing the S shield have been seen around the world and Metropolis. A visored energy projector looking like Superman, a young teen, an armored Man of Steel and a cybernetic Superman.

Shaq??!!

The Superboy is a clone of the original and unlike his comic book counterpart, he is solely created by Lexcorp rather than CADAMUS. The visored Superman comes off cold, methodical and with no moral code against killing like the big blue. Our armored Man of Steel developed his own power suit that let's face it, can take a beating as well as give one. Lastly the cyborg Superman who seems to have his essence and battle scars.

CYBER VD happens, kids! Wear protection!

With the Justice League and Titans spread thin, the world is unaware just how much was on Superman's shoulders to defend and protect his adopted world.

Let's talk voice cast. Because damn there is a lot of familiar names here. Supes voiced by none other than Jerry O' Connell (Stand by Men, Sliders, Crossing Jordan, Las Vegas,Justice League Dark, Justice League vs. Teen Titans and The Death of Superman) Lois Lane via Rebecca Romijn (X-Men, Femme Fatale, The Punisher, Eastwick, King & Maxwell and The Librarians) Wonder Woman by the astonishing Rosario Dawson (He Got Game, Men in Black II, Rent, Clerks II, Sin City, Deathproof, Daredevil, Iron Fist, Cage and The Defenders) Cyborg by Chocolate Goodness himself, Shemar Moore (Birds of Prey, Criminal Minds, The Young and the Restless, Diary of a Mad Black Woman and S.W.A.T.) Green Lantern tackled not by Ryan Reynolds but by Nathan Fillon (Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, Firefly, Slither, Castle, Serenity and The Rookie)and the list goes on.

With the new 52 approach staying with DC Comics revamping, the storyline has altered and key components differ from its source material. I mean a Supey Smackdown fight in under 15 minutes for a 90 minute movie? Seems a bit sudden. Many are establishing this is DC's attempt to combat the crowds going to the Spider Verse and well, I can't say I completely agree with that. It could also be a bit biased on my part as I enjoyed this particular storyline.

Not a massive fan of the artwork i.e. Cartoon itself. Lacked texture and felt a bit rushed. Story overall was pretty solid, voice cast was deeply impressive so all in all, not a bad flick. A decent follow up to the Death of Superman giving hope back to the DC world that one of their greatest heroes returns. Still, he's not Batman. Yeah I said it.

Oh yeah, one last tidbit. Candyman's own Tony Todd as Darkseid. Huh?? HUH??!! 

Disco shades make folk look cranky.

 

The Rocketeer

Howdy do. Today I thought we would hit the way back machine to an adventure with a costumed do-gooder that hides his identity to protect his loved ones, battle the mob and Nazis. No time for love, Dr. Jones. So strap on your pack, grab your helmet and pack a decent 1911. This is The Rocketeer.

I'm just borrowing Commander Cody's gear.

Based on the series created by Dave Stevens (artist for Tarzan Graphic Novels, Storyboards for Super Friends and The Godzilla Power Hour) giving this down on his luck pilot that discovers a rocket pack and proceeds to fight crime and Nazis. Disney bought the rights to this particular 1930s style Pulp Comic in 1985 where it stayed into development until 1991.

Cliff Secord (Bill Campbell of Dynasty, Once and Again, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Menno's Mind, Enough and The 4400) a happy-go-lucky pilot whose pockets are thread bared is trying to woo his aspiring actress girlfriend Jenny (Jennifer Connelly of Phenomena, Labyrinth,Of Love and Shadows, Mulholland Falls) while the FBI are chasing after some Nazi saboteurs making their way with a package, a rocket pack they sneak on the airfield Cliff and his mechanic buddy Peavy (Alan Arkin of Wait Until Dark, Catch-22, The In-Laws, Glengarry Glen Ross, Little Miss Sunshine and Argo)work on.

Peavy and Cliff have dumped all their savings into a plane that crashes and now forced to do a flying circus routine for their penny pinching boss. A buddy of theirs gets behind the stick to assure Cliff doesn't get fired for being out all night testing the rocket pack, but he starts having issues. Peavy and Cliff ready Cliff to go after their buddy.

Terry O' Quinn may go Stepfather on ya, Cliff.

With what appears to be a publicity stunt gets the attention of the mob, the FBI and the Nazis seeing the rocket pack in action. Who is this Rocketeer?

Jenny is all moon eyed over the number three box office actor Neville Sinclair (Timothy Dalton of The Three Princes, The Voyeur, The Executioner, Agatha and Chanel Solitaire) who seems to be more than he appears. Moving behind the shadows, he too expresses an interest in the rocket pack.

With the mob, the G-Men and Goosesteppers on Cliff's heels, he has to come to the conclusion is he doing the right thing? Can he continue as the Rocketeer? How much is getting hurled at him?

With a PG-13 rating, apparently there was a lukewarm vibe from critics due to the lack of explanation that this is based on a spybuster series. Not enough publicity for it in my opinion so the potential to sequels was dropped. Again this was a 35 million budget and yet made 47 million in the box office. So it would appear that a 12 million profit was something to sneer at in 1991.

Mr. Flynn, you've had enough to drink!

A few anachronisms with firearms, the German Walther P38 while created in 1938 didn't really go into production until 1940. The MP40 Submachine Gun also designed in 1938 but not widely used until 1941.

Just some mild nitpicking there. This has heart, explosions, love, action, gunfights and fist fights. Most kids should have enjoyed this with their parents. But what do I know? No kids.

Honesty Jake, where's your Dalton love? Tsk tsk.

Not Of This Earth

Hey folks, I'm back. So we are hitting Jim Wynorski flavor country and we are in for a treat. A bevy of gorgeous girls are almost a guarantee, some funky effects and some memorable lines are in store for us. This is Not of This Earth.

Traci hard at work.

Now for you more picky fans, I will point out this is the 1988 remake with Jim and not the 1957 version with Roger Corman. There. I hope we got that one across. For those not in the loop, I was explaining that Carpenter's The Thing was a remake and that turned into a nerd rage battle for four days of BS notes.

Clay animation, explosions, lighting effects, gorgeous girls. This film has a lot going on. Practical effects and SFX make up is damn solid. Except...those opening credits were a mix mash of clips from Battle Beyond the Stars, Forbidden World and Humanoids from the Deep. There may have been more and have nothing to do with the flick. Methinks...filler perhaps?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Moving on, our story is a hybrid Horror/Sci-Fi/dark comedy so you know there is a lot going on. Working hard for her money. So hard for it honey. Wait, that's a Diana Ross song.  Professional RN, Nadine Story (Traci Lords of Cry-Baby, Shock 'Em Dead, The Tommyknockers, Highlander, Profiler, First Wave, Novel Romance and Swedish Dicks) is hard at work in the office of Dr. Rochelle (Ace Mask of Transylvania Twist, Return of the Swamp Thing, 976-Evil II, Munchie, Ghoulies IV and Victim of Desire) when an unusual patient comes to visit. Always dressed in black, wearing sunglasses and in need of a blood transfusion. At first it sounds like a migraine sufferer minus the blood transfusion. Vampire with headaches?

The enigmatic patient known only as Mr. Paul Johnson (Arthur Roberts of Maneaters Are Loose!, Beyond Westworld, ChiPs, Deadly Vengeance, Revenge of the Ninja, Chopping Mall, Big Bad Momma II, Rorschach, The Curse of the Komodo, SharkMan, and The Mummy's Kiss: 2^nd Dynasty), which is uncomfortable coming out of my mouth. Heyo!! Ahem, he is mysterious yet polite and well mannered still gives off the vibes of something is amiss.

The cure for this fever is more Traci.

Nadine has been requested to give blood transfusions to Mr. Johnson and may have to assist him for several days if not weeks. There's a blood flow penis joke in there somewhere but I already made a moderately filthy joke as it is. Tending to his every other whim is his assistant, chauffeur, fix-it man Jeremy (Lenny Juliano of Commando, Lethal Weapon, Sorceress, The Wasp Woman, Vampirella,Final Voyage and The Bare Wench Project) who I am trying decide if he screams date rapist, toadie, lackey or lickspittle.

While continuing her duties, Nadine reads about random people attacked and their blood completely drained. Again, vampires? A scourge among us? Dr. Rochelle starts to become worried about this and wonders if he should inform the police of his suspicions.

Possibly aliens but that concept is so farfetched, I mean where would the proof be? I mean other than Mr. Johnson's hyper-dimensional, telecommunications device/gateway.

Will Nadine be in danger? Can pervert Jeremy keep it in his pants? Say didn't that radio announcer sound familiar?

Armed with some exploitation actresses of the like of Monique Gabrielle (Bachelor Party, Deathstalker II, 976-Evil II, Chained Heat and Return of the Swamp Thing), the late Roxanne Kernohan (Fatal Pulse, Critters 2, Phoenix the Warrior, Angel III: The Final Chapter and Tango & Cash), Becky LeBeau (Ninja Academy, Transylvania Twist, Jake Spanner, Private Eye, Nudity Required and The Malibu Beach Vampires) and Kelli Maroney (Fast Times at Ryan's Hope, Ridgemont High, Night of the Comet,Chopping Mall, Big Bad Mama II and Pop Star) the men folk will not be hard pressed to find someone to gawk at.

Amusing side note that both Richard Belzer and Michael York play predominant roles in the film yet, I cannot film this movie in their IMDB filmography. Wouldn't surprise me if IMDB screwed up but that is neither here nor there.

Oh, because that was the 1995 version. Yup same film, three times. 45 minutes elapsed and I didn't seem to realize I hadn't seen our star Traci. The streaming site managed to goof on the version. Luckily I found the '88 version. Hell if you think that is nuts, go look up Dracula, Tarzan and Sherlock Holmes Hound of the Baskerville. A LOT of remakes there, my friends.

It's campy, silly and doesn't take itself seriously. Behold, Traci can act. She can flirt, give attitude and has charismatic moments. Yes while this film is a bit oddball, I had fun hearkening back to this.  Wynorski and Corman fans, this is a must have for your collection.

Han Solo's been drinking again!