Hiya folks! I am back, feeling decent
and felt you all need to suffer from a sequel. No need to thank me
all at once. Sadly I felt it was not enough to sit through the
pathetic Nu-View video process that isn't even 35mm translation. Yup
it was the cinematic masterpiece known as Camp Blood. Yes where a
deranged loopy in a jumpsuit and ill fitting clown mask was cutting
up teens played by twenty somethings like they were spare ribs. So
what could possibly suggest the need for a sequel? Sadly, money.
Yes author/director Brad Sykes who brought us such gems as: Babes
in the Woods, Mad Jack. The Coven, Demon's Kiss, Scream Queen and
Death Factory. Surely you recall my snarking on Death
Factory where the factory in question was a warehouse that was
shingled with sheet metal, the sounds reverberated and NOBODY WAS
MIKED!!! This is Camp Blood 2 a.k.a. Camp Blood II- The Revenge.
 |
| Clown vs the stoner! |
So if this feels like the regurgitation
of the first movie, well yes it would be. Our lone survivor Tricia
(Jennifer Ritchkoff of Camp Blood, Harrington’s Notes, Camp
Blood 2, Spin City, Spartan and Angel Wishes: Journey of a Spiritual
Healer) basically got mocked by the cops with their quick
trip around the woods for about 2 weeks as they canvased the area so
they had her committed instead. Dude, that mountain range is friggin
huge and you need a lot of boots on the ground but what would I know?
The only person that is even listening to Tricia is sleazy, swarmy
film maker Worth Milligan (Garrett Clancy of Detonator, Dead 7,
Scooter Kidz, Unseen Evil 2 a.k.a. Alien 3000 and Blood Legend)
who is conning Tricia to go back to the scene of the crime and walk
his crew through what happened so he can tell her story... and cash
in on the rights to it, maybe pander a movie and a book deal and
completely screw her out of any residuals.
Reluctantly (and wouldn't you be?)
Tricia agrees to this insanity to be a technical adviser as they
journey to planet LV-426 without a platoon of colonial marines
and..oh wait that's Aliens and I would much rather watch that
instead. The douche nozzle, casting couch director picks his cast
including a jiggly girl that looks about 70. Seriously this sun
bunny while very tone, her face looks like a saddle bag with eyes.
One of the girls Adrienne Palmer (reference to Adrienne King and
Betsy Palmer of Friday the 13th. Clever huh?) doesn't get
the part immediately thanks to sleazeball director fawning over
jiggly girl. It would appear that jiggly girl bowed out of
production, when in fact she was done in by the Clown? Who left his
woods, got a lift 60 miles back to L.A. , got her address, picked the
locks and did her in? Plot hole you say? Nay, it be a plot chasm.
 |
| Totally dead...Seriously... |
Douchy director then let's it slip to
Tricia they will be filming at the actual Camp Blackwood a.k.a. Camp
Blood for the duration of the film to bring realism to the characters
and credibility to the story. I personally loved his shabby office
with the 8 x 10 posters on the way of other Sterling Entertainment
films. The acting isn't as wooden as the previous film but that is
like comparing two pieces of crap and deciding, "Well, this one
doesn't smell as bad as the other." I think they are using the
actual NuView camera (A camcorder adaption to create 3-D film for
weddings, graduations and other family gatherings) as a prop but I
honestly think they may have two cameras this time.
Do you care who lives and who dies?
You're not going to watch it! For independent horror sequels that
mirror every slasher in the woods, go watch Bloody Murder 2. At
least the acting, production value and music is a vast improvement
over this smeg stain.
 |
| So I am thinking Anne Hathaway as you. |
No comments:
Post a Comment