Saturday, January 23, 2016

A sequel like no other: Camp Blood 2- The Revenge

Hiya folks! I am back, feeling decent and felt you all need to suffer from a sequel. No need to thank me all at once. Sadly I felt it was not enough to sit through the pathetic Nu-View video process that isn't even 35mm translation. Yup it was the cinematic masterpiece known as Camp Blood. Yes where a deranged loopy in a jumpsuit and ill fitting clown mask was cutting up teens played by twenty somethings like they were spare ribs. So what could possibly suggest the need for a sequel? Sadly, money. Yes author/director Brad Sykes who brought us such gems as: Babes in the Woods, Mad Jack. The Coven, Demon's Kiss, Scream Queen and Death Factory. Surely you recall my snarking on Death Factory where the factory in question was a warehouse that was shingled with sheet metal, the sounds reverberated and NOBODY WAS MIKED!!! This is Camp Blood 2 a.k.a. Camp Blood II- The Revenge.

Clown vs the stoner!

So if this feels like the regurgitation of the first movie, well yes it would be. Our lone survivor Tricia (Jennifer Ritchkoff of Camp Blood, Harrington’s Notes, Camp Blood 2, Spin City, Spartan and Angel Wishes: Journey of a Spiritual Healer) basically got mocked by the cops with their quick trip around the woods for about 2 weeks as they canvased the area so they had her committed instead. Dude, that mountain range is friggin huge and you need a lot of boots on the ground but what would I know? The only person that is even listening to Tricia is sleazy, swarmy film maker Worth Milligan (Garrett Clancy of Detonator, Dead 7, Scooter Kidz, Unseen Evil 2 a.k.a. Alien 3000 and Blood Legend) who is conning Tricia to go back to the scene of the crime and walk his crew through what happened so he can tell her story... and cash in on the rights to it, maybe pander a movie and a book deal and completely screw her out of any residuals.

Reluctantly (and wouldn't you be?) Tricia agrees to this insanity to be a technical adviser as they journey to planet LV-426 without a platoon of colonial marines and..oh wait that's Aliens and I would much rather watch that instead. The douche nozzle, casting couch director picks his cast including a jiggly girl that looks about 70. Seriously this sun bunny while very tone, her face looks like a saddle bag with eyes. One of the girls Adrienne Palmer (reference to Adrienne King and Betsy Palmer of Friday the 13th. Clever huh?) doesn't get the part immediately thanks to sleazeball director fawning over jiggly girl. It would appear that jiggly girl bowed out of production, when in fact she was done in by the Clown? Who left his woods, got a lift 60 miles back to L.A. , got her address, picked the locks and did her in? Plot hole you say? Nay, it be a plot chasm.

Totally dead...Seriously...

Douchy director then let's it slip to Tricia they will be filming at the actual Camp Blackwood a.k.a. Camp Blood for the duration of the film to bring realism to the characters and credibility to the story. I personally loved his shabby office with the 8 x 10 posters on the way of other Sterling Entertainment films. The acting isn't as wooden as the previous film but that is like comparing two pieces of crap and deciding, "Well, this one doesn't smell as bad as the other." I think they are using the actual NuView camera (A camcorder adaption to create 3-D film for weddings, graduations and other family gatherings) as a prop but I honestly think they may have two cameras this time.

Do you care who lives and who dies? You're not going to watch it! For independent horror sequels that mirror every slasher in the woods, go watch Bloody Murder 2. At least the acting, production value and music is a vast improvement over this smeg stain.

So I am thinking Anne Hathaway as you.