Tremors 5: Bloodlines

And we're back! Yeah I was going to review a zombie film I bought called Oasis of the Living Dead but, it turns out it is an alternative title of Oasis of the Zombies via exploitation and hardcore pornography director Jesus Franco. Yay...I own a Jesus Franco movie.  Now as much as I seem to like Nazi Zombies munching on young nubile girls, I must decline at the repeat.  SoOoOOOoo... howzabout a Tremors movie instead?  This is Tremors 5: Bloodlines.

Always be prepared.

14 years after the last incident in Perfection Nevada, Burt Gummer (Michael Gross of Family Ties, Cool as Ice, Tremors, Tremors II: Aftershock, Awake to Danger, Batman Beyond, ER and Boston Legal), paranoid paramilitary survivalist extraordinaire is hosting a reality TV series, hocking flavor seasonings and his on going VHS to DVD series.  A doofy dirt biker comes in and claims to be his new cameraman for the time being while the cat he was working with is off filming Real Vegas Housewifes or some such.  Some of you may be confused why I have not gone on and reviewed Tremors 4.   Well, it's a prequel and Lucasarts taught me to avoid prequels.

Travis Welker (Jamie Kennedy of Scream, Scream 2, Son of the Mask, Ghost Whisperer and Heartbeat) is totally stoked to get Gummer in an "A" game as he is single-handedly the most qualified hunter of Graboids, Shriekers and Assblasters. Get him more to the 21^st century and bring in the fans. No sooner this chitter chat ends, a man from South Africa, a one Erich Van Wyk (Daniel Janks of Ali, Generation Kill, Tremors 5: Bloodlines and Bram Fischer) is from one of the larger wildlife preserves thinking they have Assblasters in their backyard. For a big stinky check, Burt reluctantly brings Travis as his wingman in this.   I guess Earl and Grady were never going to assist again and you can forget having the Baconator with you as well.

Kool-Aid Man??!!

Off to the cradle of humanity they go when they run into the issue of a 3 day quarantine about Burt's guns not being available but they'll have some replacements. Yeah the rifle is a 30.06, a .45 peacemaker and a .303 rifle. Great stuff if you are hunting rhinos, not a humongous underground burrowing beastie and its evolution.

Lock and load people, Kevin Bacon wants back in the series.

Don't worry Burt, you got a jackass know-it-all Aussie turned South African, Johan Dreyer (Brandon Auret of District 9, Elysium, Chappie and Blood Drive), tracker and hunter.

Running the reserve, lead veteranarian Dr. Nandi Montabu (Pearl Thusi of Kalushi: The Story of Solomon Mahlangu, Quantico and Catching Feelings), a single mother and the most qualified vet in the region. Plus she might have a few toys for Burt.

These worms differ from the North American variety as they seem larger, more aggressive and even operate differently. Almost a herd mentality, making certain their young comes to existence. Cue the Jeff Goldblum lines (Uh, life finds a way?)  Little side note, Burt speaks of the creatures that they never left our hemisphere and yet in the third film, Burt went to Argentina with twin .50 caliber anti-aircraft swivel mounted machine turret.  Eh, minor oops.

My favorite addition to this posse is the helicopter pilot Ben Dravers (Ian Roberts of The Power of One, Cyborg Cop III, Rhodes, Tarzan and the Lost City, Sweepers and King Solomon's Mines), truly a kindred spirit in Burt being over-prepared for whatever comes his way. Seriously, this crazed old man had a Swedish Sjogren semi auto shotgun with drum.

One odd note is that while this is a Universal film, Stampede Entertainment who originated the Tremors franchise are not involved with this flick.  Universal 1440 Entertainment seems to be at the helm in this instead.  If you want more info, I suggest you write Universal Studios an email or two.

The maw of doom!!!