Deadpool 2

Howdy campers! Welcome back to the slow crawl that is Rotten Reelz Reviews. So hope you have enjoyed using up all your fireworks, scaring the crap out of your neighbors' dogs (Serious note: PLEASE DO NOT BLOW UP your veterans. PTSD is not something to joke about.) as well as drank responsively. Yeah folks hoard their explosives like squirrel do nuts. Anywho, considering the previous film I reviewed it after the Christmas festivities and DID NOT want to wait until next Christmas for the sequel; I thought we would come together and take in the furthering wacky adventures with the Merc with the Mouth. This is Deadpool 2: The Quickening.

 

Really love the gelled look. You wear it well.

 

 

 

 

 

Relax! I was kidding about the subtitle. No one wants to be reminded of that Highlander sequel. "OoOoo we made immortal warriors from every walk of life and continent. How do we screw that up? I GOT IT! ALIENS!" That's a whole other rant of which I will be avoiding like the plague right now. 

No,instead we focus on Freddy Kruger with an 8 pack, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Blade: Trinity, The Amityville Horror, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Proposal, Green Lantern, Safe House, R.I.P.D. And Deadpool) after the substantial success of the first movie, Deadpool is off doing what only he can do best. Dick and fart jokes while either gunning down a contract or running them through with a ninjato (movie concept sword, not a real blade). He reaches a snag with his last contract as his future deadie locked himself in a panic room. Heading back to the crash pad with the lovely Vanessa (Morena Baccarin of Firefly, Serenity, Justice League Unlimited, Stargate SG-1, Stargate: the Ark of Truth, V, Back in the Day, Son of Batman and Batman: Bad Blood), future deadie tracks Wade down and alas Vanessa is caught in the crossfire. Being basically immortal due to his healing factor, Wade cannot drink himself to death, being hit by bus or blown up without coming back to life. Bit of a down note when you lose your love.

 

That's my spleen, you ass!

 

 

 

 

 

After being rescued from himself by Colossus (Stefan Kapicic of Almost Ordinary Story, Slobodan pad, Mali polozajnik, The Brother Bloom, Big Miracle, One Shot, Deadpool and Love,Death &Robots), Wilson ends up living at the X-mansion which seems to only really consist of Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand of Prism, Deadpool, Tragedy Girls, The Exorcist, Love Daily, Momster, Playing with Fire and Runt), a kinetic absorbing and re-channeling teenager with the most lengthy name and Nega's girlfriend Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna of A Boy and his Samurai, Beck, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge! The Mystery of the Legendary Strange Bird, Girl's Compass, My Back Pages, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge, Working Holiday and Bitter Blood), an energy projector and martial artist prowess. Prowess. A word I hardly ever get to use. Sorry, still stewing over Highlander 2. Planet Ziest can kiss my ass!!!

 

 

Pew pew! Pew pew pew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

a mission of mercy comes the X-Men's way as this will help Wade get out of his funk, saving a young delinquent, Russel Collins a.k.a. Firefist (Julian Dennison of Paper Planes, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Love and Time Travel, Deadpool 2, The Strange Chores and Godzilla vs. Kong) from himself and his um...fiery temper? Wade figures out quickly the guy running this orphanage is more Uncle Touchy and less Oliver Twist, he ventilates one of the staff, dropping his cantankerous cancerous self into a supermax prision. No sooner than you can prision shank, a cyborg warrior with the moniker of Cable (Josh Brolin of The Goonies, Thrasin', Prison for Children, The Road Killers, Nightwatch, Mimic, Hollow Man, No Country for Old Men, Planet Terror, Jonah Hex, Men in Black 3, Avengers: Infinity War, Deadpool 2 and Avengers: Endgame) is hell-bent to punching Russel's clock. Deadpool intervenes and well a substantial prison riot and smack-down fight is on. Free for good behavior (No,he escaped. Are you even serious with that look?!), Deadpool decides he'll need a crack team of badasses to deal with Cable and keep Russel from dying. It has become his mission. He is...well kinda Sarah Connor in these circumstances. Meh, could be worse. 

 

Catch that taco truck!

 

 

 

 

 

With his recruitment drive along with wisecracking sidekick Weasel (T.J.Miller of Carpoolers, Extract, She's Out of My League, How to Train Your Dragon, Gulliver's Travels, T.J. Miller: No Real Reason and T.J. Miller: Meticulously Ridiculous), the boys of blam put a team together for the gig.

Shatterstar (Lewis Tan of NCIS: Los Angeles, 10,000 Days, Sacrifice, Mortal Kombat X: Generations, Hawaii Five-0, Iron Fist, Den of Thieves, Deadpool 2 and Into the Badlands) an alien warrior from a land far, far away. Bedlam (Terry Crews of Serving Sara, Deliver Us from Eva, Starsky & Hutch, White Chicks, Balls of Fury, The Expendables, Scary Movie V, Ultimate Spider-Man, The Expendables 2, and Reach Me) disrupts electrical fields (Wonder if he could fire the electrical synapes of the brain...) Zietgiest (Bill Skarsgard of Simon & the Oaks, Allegiant, Atomic Blonde, IT, Battlecreek, Assassination Nation, Deadpool 2, IT Chapter Two, Nine Days and The Devil All the Time) a being able to regurgitate acidic vomit and SWEET MUPPETITY ZEUS, That's New Pennywise! NOPE NOOOPE! ALL THE NOPES! NO FRICKIN' CLOWNS! NEXT! And lucky born, gun wielding Domino (Zazie Beatz of Applesauce, Wolves, Sollers Point, Geostorm, Deadpool 2, Wounds, Easy and Joker), where luck seems to make everything go her way, in spite of DP's insistence that luck isn't a superpower. I would have mentioned Vanisher but it's Brad Pitt having a goof. Last but certainly not least...Peter (Rob Delaney of Wild Girls Gone, Mash Up, Key and Peele, Bra League, Funny as Hell, Deadpool 2, Trust, Bitz and Bob, The Hustle, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Last Christmas, Bombshell and Tom and Jerry). Uh no powers, abilities or even a particular set of skills. He was bored and answered the ad. So of course he's a go! Again, did we not establish Deadpool is batshit crazy?

With mission a green light...spoilers. It ends in tears. Domino, Deadpool and Cable play less grab ass and more team-up to deal with Russel and his new bosom buddy the Juggernaut?? No worries, it's not Vinnie Jones this time but really obvious CGI and voiced by that hack Ryan Reynolds. Who let this guy...what? Oh he's been Deadpool all along? Where was my head? Oh yeah...Highlander II: The Crappening. Getting word to Nega, Yukio and Colossus on a much needed Juggernaut trouncing, the mutant misfits make their way to the orphanage of ill-repute (Running gag in the X titles, you'll see the name Essex in corporations, foundations and yeah it all leads back to a mad scientist genetist, Mr. Sinister. SPOILER!)

Can Deadpool reason with Russel? Will Cable give him the boomstick business? Will Vanisher ever reappear?

Now I had seen the original theatrical release which had plenty of rank jokes, gore laden gunfights and general squirrelly behavior you would expect in anything associated with Deadpool. There is also the PG-13 re-shoots with abducted and beloved child star actor, Fred Savage. That I have not seen. Buuuuut, I am reviewing the Unrated version of the jokes they weren't able to put in front of world viewer because it would make them question their moral compass or cause them anal fissures. Hell, I don't know other than some of the jokes and graphic deaths were a bit awful. Seriously, my country is now known as the Land of the Butt Hurt.

Anyway, the Unrated version is 15 additional minutes of very wrong and nuttier than squirrel poop (Three different squirrel references! Were you even counting?) and I had a blast with it. Established R rating from the get-go like the original. Did you guys even read how many lawsuits were attempting to be filed from the original flicks? Kids wanted to see Deadpool! TOUGH TITTY! R Rating was quite obvious to anyone with ears or eyes. So plenty fourth wall breaks, in-jokes and other such pop culture references to make most of the geeks happy. 

 

Cable doesn't do dub-step.  Apparently.