The Return of Swamp Thing

 Welcome back Readers of Rotten. I am trying to get more blogs out this summer, while looking for more writing work. Any freelance writing suggestions, feel free to toss them my way. Today I wanted to continue a tragic hero of the DC Comics universe. Now I know that is extremely vague and doesn't help anyone but I am getting to the character. For a couple of actors, they will be reprising roles in the continuation of the harrowing adventures of Doctor Alec Holland. This is The Return of Swamp Thing.

 

Ayyyy....

 

 

 

 

 

With the recurrence of this noteworthy and dark storyline based character, Doctor Holland a.k.a. The plant/man hybrid known as Swamp Thing (Dick Durock of Stand By Me, Swamp Thing, Runaway Train, Return of Swamp Thing, Delirious, Swamp Thing TV series, Die Hard with a Vengeance and The Hunted) has a life filled with agony and loss.   Wes Craven's original run gave us his humble beginnings as a passionate scientist, whose only concern was to aid his fellow humanity with his restoration formula that would magnify both plant and animal.   This time however, we get a more tongue in cheek story with Jim Wynorski (The Lost Empire, Chopping Mall, Sorceress, Hard Bounty, Demolition High, Against the Law, Raptor, Busty Cops and The Curse of the Komodo) at the director's helm. 

 

First, kippers and then take over the world!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 With our film opening with bubbly Abigail Arcane (Heather Locklear of City Killer, T.J. Hooker, Dynasty, Melrose Place, Double Tap, Spin City, Scrubs and Looney Tunes: Back in Action) who is bustling about finishing her packing and heading out to attend her mother's funeral.  A somber event no doubt.   With that she visits her stepfather Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan of Letter from an Unknown Woman, Gigi, The Swan, Escapade, The V.I.P.s, The Young Rebel, Swamp Thing, Octopussy and Counterforce), who Abby hasn't really seen since she was a little girl.   The "good" doctor has always been consumed by his work. After a near death experience, Arcane wishes to make amends to Abby and assure her she is the most important thing in her life. Abby strikes me as a tad naive.  How can I say such?   Well her dad has a private mercenary army at his fingertips. Seriously this cat has more protection than Dr. Quest. 

 

Bill Shatner, you go too far!

 

 

 

 

 

Of his gunsels...hmm thugs? Mercs? Oh I got it! Lickspittles! Head of security Lickspittle! Mr. Gunn (Joey Sagal of World War III, Final Jeopardy, Quiet Cool, The Hidden, Out for Blood, Bloodfist VII: Manhunt, Barb Wire, Whatever It Takes, Lost Treasure and Retrograde) and Ms. Poinsettia (the lovely Monique Gabrielle of Deathstalker II, Bachelor Party, Emmanuelle 5, Amazon Women on the Moon, The Big Bet, Not of This Earth, Hard to Die, Body Chemistry II: The Voice of a Stranger, 976-Evil II, Evil Toons and Angel Eyes) have enough sexual tension between them, pretty sure the rest of the guards are chuckling and commenting quietly, "Just screw already." Now I am certain some of you are confused.  To recap, Dr. Acane had Swamp Thing flogged, netted and then chained up.   He attempted to duplicate Holland's formula, had a goof and morphed into a chitinous mutant pig monster that Swampy dispatched.   Soooo...what in the cheese and crackers is a-going on?

 

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the assistance of Dr. Zurrell (The stunning Sarah Douglas of The People That Time Forgot, Superman, Thundercloud, Superman II, Conan the Destroyer, Falcon Crest, Beastermaster 2 Through the Portal of Time, Return of the Living Dead III, The Demolitionist, Stargate SG-1 and Heavy Gear: The Animated Series) whom Arcane has been seeing and Dr. Rochelle (Ace Mask of Big Bad Mama II, Not of This Earth, The Return of Swamp Thing, Transylvania Twist, 976-Evil II, Munchie, Sins of Desire, Ghoulies IV, Victim of Desire,Babylon 5 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) have been working on these various mutations trying to re-create the formula and flooding the swamps with mutants. They tampered in God's domain and Gunn's men haven't really busted their collective butts to capture them all.   C'mon, Doc. Ya gotta pay the overtime.

Let's not forget those darn, pesky kids Darryl (Daniel Emery Taylor of The Return of Swamp Thing, Road Trip, Hell-ephone, Hell House, The Legacy, Resurrection, Night of the Cannibals, Mountain Mafia, Camp Massacre and For a Few Zombies More) and Omar (RonReaco Lee of The Return of Swamp Thing, Career Opportunities, Paris Trout, How I Spent My Summer Vacation, Sister,Sister, Girlfriends, Committed and The Shield) whose parents clearly are not watching them AT ALL. Yes they are a bit of comic relief, kid hi-jinks and an element of the big green's humanity. At 6'6", I think we can call him a jolly green giant.

 

Swampy spends a little time with these two, saves them from a few mutants and even poses with them for a few pics. Pre-Selfie! What we have here is a superhero story of Swamp Thing falling for Abby and vice versa. Arcane is being a typical mad scientist and control freak and some good fight sequences and explosions. Hell we even get Swamp Thing getting behind the wheel of a jeep. Not to mention CCR (Creedence Clearwater Revival for you younger readers) Born on the Bayou as opening credits intro. Flawless victory!!

Is it a bit goofy? Yes. Does that bother me? Hell no. We got mutates, Swamp Thing getting to smack creatures and mercs around like tennis balls and maybe even get a girl. Anything's possible. For me I saw this when I rented it from Blockbuster in the day. We got it and had no expectations, only to be pleasantly surprised. I loved it and have it in the collection. So yes, old school superhero fans grab a copy, you'll thank me. 

 

Hehe, I'm high on...me.