Showing posts with label Julie Strain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Julie Strain. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Random Titles: Sorceress


Hey folks. Sorry for being AWOL from the blog. Got a head cold and it doesn't feel like it will be gone by tomorrow. So looking through my collective written reviews, I have noticed the lack of erotic thrillers aside from the few giallo films. High time that gets corrected, wouldn't you say? I mean I could be watching a Hepburn and Tracy flick but nah, that would be far too classy for this blog. So after a bit of debating I decided on a familiar name in such for horror and sci-fi fantasy, one director came to mind, Jim Wynorski (Chopping Mall, Not of This Earth, Deathstalker II, Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade, Busty Cops, Komodo vs. Cobra, Dinocroc vs. Supergator and Piranhaconda). Now I have been mean at Wynorski and not even sure if he would care for an apology as most of my writing is in humorous content but you do have to admire his ability to do what he can with a limited budget, finding some of the most unusual collective of people to work with, not to mention some of these scripts must read insanity until it makes its way on screen.
This is Sorceress.

Black Magic Woman...















So as our film opens we are greeted by...boobs apparently. Yup a powerful witch/housewife Erica Barnes (1993 Penthouse Pet Julie Strain of Penthouse Satin & Lace, Fit to Kill, Psycho Cop Returns, Bikini Squad, The Dallas Connection, Day of the Warrior, Guns of El Chupacabra, Heavy Metal 2000 and Battle Queen 2020) has a lace robe open to show off some of her assets as she engages in dark magics to enrich her husband Larry's law firm career. That...involves oils, light moaning and "O" face. Now you would normally think she would go full striga and kill off the competition Howard (Edward Albert of Butterflies Are Free, Galaxy of Terror, Guarding Tess, Port Charles, A-List and Sea of Fear) but instead, she cripples him with her magics. Larry played by Larry Poindexter of Introducing Dorothy Dandrige, Blade: the Series and Days of Our Lives is not having any of this...regardless of large breasted brunette gazing hungrily at him.

So I get to keep my clothes on?  Guess that is a relief.















Amelia, (Linda Blair of Sweet Hostage, Stranger in Our House, Wild Horse Hank, Ruckus, Hell Night, Chained Heat, Savage Streets, Chicken Soup for the Soul, S Club 7 in L.A., and Monster Makers)Howard's wife feels Howard has been flummoxed or bewildered by dark forces. As a practicing witch or wicca she is attempting to narrow down the suspects with the how and why method.

Rather than this be a straight horror thriller film there does seem to be a lot of emphasis on the copious amount of nudity giving it more of an softcore erotica rather that the time-honored horror tropes. That much was apparent right out of the gate gazing at Ms. Strain.


How to burn off energy after work.















Now I would be completely hypocritical if I didn't say I was staring at all the bits of lovely and threesome scenes aside, there actually is talent in this film. Okay the script is a bit far-fetched but I have seen A-list rom coms with dumber premises hands down so move on. Biggest complaints was Michael Parks (From Dusk Til Dawn and Red State)was used for nothing more than red herring and not enough booming William Marshall (Blacula and Scream Blacula, Scream). Larry's performance comes off as a tortured soul, lost in his own life. Linda goes from sweet as pie to cold as ice in record time. Scared the crap out of me seeing her with resolve on her face.

Rounding out at 93 minutes the eroticism is filled tastefully, the story isn't bad and the performance overall is pretty impressive just with this many jiggly girls running around the screen, might want to NOT have the kids awake while watching this one.

Craftmatic bed warmer.  Now available in auburn.

Friday, March 18, 2016

The T & A Team: Day of the Warrior


Salutation readers! Well I am already on a cheeseball 90s action films so why stop at Samurai Cop?

Instead we will start taking a look at T&A and Guns master Andy Sidaris (Malibu Express, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Savage Beach, Guns, Do or Die, Hard Hunted and Fit to Kill), a director of the triple b or BBB (Bullets, Bombs and Babes) as he had a rotating company of actors made up of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets. A fourth b added to this should be Buxom because while I have seen a handful (tee hee) of these flicks, none of these girls are flat chested. The plots are trope ridden, the girls are less than believable walking around let alone martial art masters and marksmen. This is Day of the Warrior.


Psst!  Eyes up here please. Not a piece of meat you know.














The Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law or L.E.T.H.A.L. Are the go to agency to handling terrorists, smugglers, drug dealers and even syndicate organizations. Hell, I won't be surprised if they kick Cobra's butt too. Take that G.I. Joe! Our crack team of professionals are in hot pursuit of a criminal dubbed the Warrior (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell of WCW Mayhem, WCW Souled Out, L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach, Charmed and WCW Monday Nitro), former Olympic gold medalist, pro wrestler and ex-CIA agent...cause that all blends well together. He now smuggles diamonds, contraband bootleg porn and fine art dealership. With him his assistant Kym (Ray "Zap" Hollitt of American Gladiators, Skin Deep, The Immortalizer, The Last Hour, Baywatch, Cyborg 3: The Recycler. JAG, Manhunt and Revamped) a lethal lovely of with appetites of carnal and destruction.


Clearly a tactical genius.















With the ladies of LETHAL hot on the case they are lead by field commander Willow Black (Former Penthouse Pet Julie Strain of The Dallas Connection, Play Time, Sorceress, Guns of El Chupacabra, Sorceress II: The Temptress, Heavy Metal 2000, Battle Queen 2020 and Zombiegeddon) and her D cup deadly darlings Cobra (Former Penthouse Pet Julie K Smith of The Bare Wench Project, Survivors Exposed, The Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain, The Hills Have Thighs and Dirty Dead Con Men) and Tiger (Former Playboy Playmate Shae Marks of Cover Me, Scoring, Playboy's Really Naked Truth, Blue Heat: The Case of the Cover Girl Murders, Viper, Love Stinks and Black Scorpion) must match their brains and brawn against Warrior and stop his organization. Where to even begin how shallow every guy, bi-sexual and lesbian should feel watching these particular films? You watching for the jiggly girls for crying out loud. This is not a Peckinpaw flick nor is it Hitchcock.

I mean for God's sake the minuscule outfits they put the girls in for starters. They would have no range of movement in a fraction of these Fredrick's of Hollywood BDSM outfits to pull off a decent side snap kick let alone in three to four inch heels while balancing. Elektra and Psylocke couldn't roll in half of these outfits but that's okay because they are fictional bad asses. The explosions and gunfights are mindless violence and hey that was one of the things that attracted you to this in the first place.




Filmed primarily around Sidaris's hometown of Shreveport Louisana, I have to give credit where it is due. Everyone is blocked, continuity is not an issue, all our actors are miked and even the soundtrack by composer Ron Di Iulio (Mountaintop Motel Massacre, Through the Fire, Armed for Action, Enemy Gold and Repligator) is quite impressive.   I wasn't suffering from Samurai Cop flashbacks in spite of seeing Gerald Okamura (Big Trouble in Little China, The Shadow, Hot Shots! Part Deux, Blade Runner video game, Blade, Redemption, Vampire Assassin and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) again but no Matt Karedas wig wearing pseudo martial arts thankfully.

So if you are looking for a bit of T&A, some explosions, a laughable plot and several topless and full nude scenes...well Andy Sidaris's collection is the way to go.


Just shake your cans then a right cross to the chops.