Friday, March 18, 2016

The T & A Team: Day of the Warrior

Salutation readers! Well I am already on a cheeseball 90s action films so why stop at Samurai Cop?

Instead we will start taking a look at T&A and Guns master Andy Sidaris (Malibu Express, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Savage Beach, Guns, Do or Die, Hard Hunted and Fit to Kill), a director of the triple b or BBB (Bullets, Bombs and Babes) as he had a rotating company of actors made up of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets. A fourth b added to this should be Buxom because while I have seen a handful (tee hee) of these flicks, none of these girls are flat chested. The plots are trope ridden, the girls are less than believable walking around let alone martial art masters and marksmen. This is Day of the Warrior.

Psst!  Eyes up here please. Not a piece of meat you know.

The Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law or L.E.T.H.A.L. Are the go to agency to handling terrorists, smugglers, drug dealers and even syndicate organizations. Hell, I won't be surprised if they kick Cobra's butt too. Take that G.I. Joe! Our crack team of professionals are in hot pursuit of a criminal dubbed the Warrior (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell of WCW Mayhem, WCW Souled Out, L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach, Charmed and WCW Monday Nitro), former Olympic gold medalist, pro wrestler and ex-CIA agent...cause that all blends well together. He now smuggles diamonds, contraband bootleg porn and fine art dealership. With him his assistant Kym (Ray "Zap" Hollitt of American Gladiators, Skin Deep, The Immortalizer, The Last Hour, Baywatch, Cyborg 3: The Recycler. JAG, Manhunt and Revamped) a lethal lovely of with appetites of carnal and destruction.

Clearly a tactical genius.

With the ladies of LETHAL hot on the case they are lead by field commander Willow Black (Former Penthouse Pet Julie Strain of The Dallas Connection, Play Time, Sorceress, Guns of El Chupacabra, Sorceress II: The Temptress, Heavy Metal 2000, Battle Queen 2020 and Zombiegeddon) and her D cup deadly darlings Cobra (Former Penthouse Pet Julie K Smith of The Bare Wench Project, Survivors Exposed, The Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain, The Hills Have Thighs and Dirty Dead Con Men) and Tiger (Former Playboy Playmate Shae Marks of Cover Me, Scoring, Playboy's Really Naked Truth, Blue Heat: The Case of the Cover Girl Murders, Viper, Love Stinks and Black Scorpion) must match their brains and brawn against Warrior and stop his organization. Where to even begin how shallow every guy, bi-sexual and lesbian should feel watching these particular films? You watching for the jiggly girls for crying out loud. This is not a Peckinpaw flick nor is it Hitchcock.

I mean for God's sake the minuscule outfits they put the girls in for starters. They would have no range of movement in a fraction of these Fredrick's of Hollywood BDSM outfits to pull off a decent side snap kick let alone in three to four inch heels while balancing. Elektra and Psylocke couldn't roll in half of these outfits but that's okay because they are fictional bad asses. The explosions and gunfights are mindless violence and hey that was one of the things that attracted you to this in the first place.

Filmed primarily around Sidaris's hometown of Shreveport Louisana, I have to give credit where it is due. Everyone is blocked, continuity is not an issue, all our actors are miked and even the soundtrack by composer Ron Di Iulio (Mountaintop Motel Massacre, Through the Fire, Armed for Action, Enemy Gold and Repligator) is quite impressive.   I wasn't suffering from Samurai Cop flashbacks in spite of seeing Gerald Okamura (Big Trouble in Little China, The Shadow, Hot Shots! Part Deux, Blade Runner video game, Blade, Redemption, Vampire Assassin and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) again but no Matt Karedas wig wearing pseudo martial arts thankfully.

So if you are looking for a bit of T&A, some explosions, a laughable plot and several topless and full nude scenes...well Andy Sidaris's collection is the way to go.

Just shake your cans then a right cross to the chops.