Welcome one and all to Holiday Havoc Week have come to an
end and there would have been a write-up yesterday but stomach issues were
making that impossible. Of course I
hinted to our next title after Santa’s Slay so prepare yourselves for blatant
over the top acting, farfetched plots and acting more wooden than Sherwood
Forest. Our terrorizing tale hails from
the fictional town of Snowmonton (which vaguely looks like Big Bear Lake
California) about a serial killer attacking its citizens from beyond
the grave. So grab your snow shovel, get
a bonfire going and get ready your coal.
This is Jack Frost.
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| This time, the frost bite is killer! |
Jack Frost: Gosh. I
only axed you for a spoiler.
Our low budgeted horror comedy film opens with serial killer
Jack Frost (Scott MacDonald of Fire in the Sky, Stargate SG-1, Star Trek:
Enterprise, Carnivale and Threshold) being brought in for his execution
when thanks to some mediocre writing by writer/director Michael Cooney (Tracks of a Killer, Murder in Mind, Jack
Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, Identity and 6 Souls) a convenient
truck carrying experimental mutagenic material slips on a ice patch and crashes
into the transport truck. Jack seizes
this opportunity to flee from the truck only to fall into what looks like a
slushee mixture and burn alive in a vat of acidic compound. The lethal injection was looking pretty good
instead.
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| Looks like he wants to kill his agent and not the snowman. |
A week after the accident in the town of Snowmonton is
Christmas time and local Sheriff Sam Tiler (TV Veteran character actor Christopher
Allport of Barnaby Jones, And I Alone Survived, Dynasty, In the Heat of the
Night, Felicity and Shark) is doing his rounds, making there is no
underage drinking and all the other challenges of a small town to contend with
when he gets a call of Old Man Harper is found murdered. His pointless deputy and the coroner go to
see the pandemonium and crack a few jokes.
Yes his actual credits are released as Old Man Harper. Apparently Old Timer Billy Slader was busy
and couldn’t be asked to appear.
Some local snow bullies also end up dead and it is smacking
of a serial killer when Sam’s son Ryan (Zack Eginton of Forget Paris, Indictment:
The McMartin Trial, Eye for an Eye and The Iron Giant) tells dear old
Dad that it was a snowman that attacked the boys. Ruffling the lad’s hair and sending him home
the Sheriff is bemused and perplexed at his son. More bodies are piling like cordwood and the
M.O. is starting to remind Sam of Jack Frost. With some assistance from Agents
Manners and Stone of unmentioned Federal involvement the town is under curfew
while these blocks of wood knock their collective heads together to find and
stop the killer.
Okay you should have known I had a few comments on our straight-to-DVD
film here. First off this is Shannon
Elizabeth’s (American Pie, Thirteen Ghosts, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Cursed
and Night of the Demons) first starring role in Film and TV. Secondly this wonderful opus has made the
town of Fawnskin California northwest of Bear Bear Lake infamous or famous
depending on its cult status. Thirdly,
this film has a...well snowman rape scene so…yeah I am not really certain what
to even talk about in that. The death
sequences are meant to be comical, the effect are low par, the acting is
laughable and the plot is so poorly connected it is a wonder anyone would put
that on their writing resume.
So if you didn’t get enough of absurd killers
to the like of the Leprechaun, Chucky or Killer Klowns From Outer Space then this is the film for
you.
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| Snowflakes give me a rash! |
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