Madhouse

Okay there has been requests for schlocky Italian Horror films. I guess Nightmare Beach wasn't pain enough so through the archives of Italy I bring forth Ovidio G. Assonitis (Beyond the Door, Tentacles, Steigler and Steigler, Piranha II: The Spawning and Over the Line), a grade higher than Bruno Mattei but lesser than Dario Argento is the vibe I am getting. And worry not, we have alternative titles. This is Madhouse a.k.a. There Was a Little Girl a.k.a. And When She Was Bad a.k.a. Flesh and the Beast a.k.a. Scared to Death.

Padre Bad Touch: This Fall on NBC.

Huzzah! A myriad of alternative titles! Our story is based haunting a school teacher,Julia (Patricia Mickey of Dean Martin Presents the Golddiggers, Emergency!, The Young and the Restless, Fantasy Island, Simon & Simon, Mistress, The Secret Life of Kathy McCormick and Without Her Consent) for the deaf in the deep south of Georgia. Her memories are deeply scarring apparently. She goes to visit her twin sister that is inflicted with a skin disease and it made her a bit off her nut. Guess her twin sister Mary (Allison Biggers of The Bill Tush Show, Coward of the County, Six Pack, Rearview Mirror, Doorman and Stars and Bars) is completely crackers. Nuttier than a poop log. She vows that Julia will suffer as she has suffered. So that's something they can do together.

Um, good puppers?

Her uncle, Father James (Dennis Robertson of Combat!, Tammy, Marooned, Karen, Cocaine: One Man's Seduction, Bay City Blues and M.A.D.D.: Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) urged Julia to visit twin nutter and boy that went swimmingly. Julia wants to decompress and I would say the stress primarily is from her job and not crazy twin death curse threats. I mean that was a full class room. Bizarre deaths of those close to Julia seems to be occurring, like one of her students Sasha (Richard Baker of Madhouse, Teen Wolf and The Nanny) getting gobbled by a Rottweiler. Could be a coincidence. Probably. Whatever. The neighborhood seems to be under siege by this monster dog as people are being shucked and devoured like so many oysters.  All the attacks seem to be around her childhood house she is staying in. Still potential coincidence?

Clearly she is being female and easily distracted by shoes. Y'know, prick male standard. Psychologist boyfriend Sam (Michael MacRae of Hardcastle and McCormick, Goldie and the Bears, Street Hawk, Hill Street Blues, Hostage Flight, Magnum, P.I., Summer School, 21 Jump Street and Shoot to Kill) has the warmth of a bedpan tells her she's just frazzled. He drops her off at the house and hits the gas. Thankfully her friend Helen (Morgan Most of The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, Goodtime Girls, Dallas, The Man Who Wasn't There, Simon & Simon, and Legmen) decides to actually not a total asshat like Sam and spend the night with Julia.

Getting a little handsy, Sis!

Julia sleeps like the dead and no sign of Helen anyway. No note on the fridge or by the phone. Crappy friend? Just a bit. Julia just heads to work like it's just another day...with murders.

Uncle James and his parishioner Amantha (Edith Ivey of Little Darlings, Rearview Mirror, Home Fires Burning, Web of Deceit, Grass Roots, Love Potion No. 9, and Stolen Babies) start making their way to the basement for the birthday extravaganza. Good thinking, Padre. Hmm crazy deaths all around the district, time for a party with paper hats and cake! Yup lemonade and crappy gift cards sure do make up for THE DEATH ZONE!

Father James needs to rally as many priests to sanctify the hood. This ground is saturated in gore, sudden deaths and very confused specters. Poltergeists in the Purlieus!

Amantha notices the hefty bag is dribbling. Maybe it's gravy? Maybe it's the secret sauce from Arby's.

Will Mary spoil the party? Is Father James well?

Well a few side notes, our film has some kids getting killed in the film. Yeah that happened. I know many a folk have issues with animals and kids getting hurt, let alone murdered in film. I had to do that particular spoiler. So we have some serious gore in this flick. It is suspenseful and has its twists but felt a few spoilers were needed for tender tummies.

The film is overall shot in the Kehoe House, a formerly single-family mansion in red brick made in 1893, featured Corinthian columns. A few bay windows with single, double and even triple panned windows. Childhood illnesses and dumb kid accidents caused the whispers of kids and/or them singing in the middle of the night. Deemed haunted for decades, many a ghost tour established the Irish Catholic family and its share of terror but recently it was made into a bed and breakfast.

Because who wouldn't want to stay there? According the tourist bureau in Georgia, they are constantly booked, so what the hell do I know.

Deemed a Video Nasty in its day, it took to 2004 to get released in full version but the sound quality is just piss poor. 

Hmm, Pharfo plays rough!