Drive-In Grindhouse

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. It appears that I have been called upon to review some new work of director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Robowoman). Yes years ago I was sneering at Camp Blood 4 when the young director contacted and reopened my eyes to Indie Horror. Forgot the roots but no longer is that an issue. Thanks to Dustin. So I am to look at an anthology set of Indie Horrors and first off, you got to love this level of networking. Men and women gathered under the mutual love of the genre and organizing to showcase their work. Edited by SoCal Cinema Studios and produced by A Troma Team Release via B movie master Uncle Lloydie himself, Lloyd Kaufman. This is Drive-In Grindhouse a.k.a. Grindsploitation 8.

Perhaps a Killer Queen. Dynamite with a laser beam?

Admittedly, the production companies, MrSheltonTV Media and Schlock Productions made my Spidey senses tingle but again the company names are clearly in good fun. So let's sit in for some faux trailers and some short story horrors. With a grand tally of 15 directors, these short stories and faux trailers could be a bit. 3 and a half hours long to be exact. Let's see how it goes.

We open with an eerie synthesizer effect and a flyer for virtual reality wanting volunteers, will pay! Yeah experimental tech is always good to be a guinea pig. A big fella is there for the Grindhouse Experience and a slightly creepy guy invites him in. Why the big guy needs dish washing gloves is beyond me. With a VR rig establishing all forms of Exploitation, a menu drop down rig allows the user to immerse with the each subgenre. Nunsploitation, Naziploitation, Blaxploitation, Sexploitation, the ever popular Women in Prison (popular way too much for some of my readers) and Uncut or Uncensored if you will.

With a direct link to the neuro pathways, the VR sprite is attacking and our boy is getting the feedback through his nerves as if he has been assaulted with weapons.

And down, down the rabbit hole we go. FYI, we just saw the opening segment as credits. Trippy, right? Few title cards and some death metal later, we open to folks toking in a car as we are having a meta key (a creation referring itself or the conventions of the genre) moment, the actress in Moon of the Blood Beast is with friends watching the film within a film. A trailer for the Moon of the Blood Beast which has a decent narration as the girl is stalked POV style and right into another exploitation trailer using its previous footage. Looks like I put in the trailers for Hard Boiled, The Prowler and Not of this Earth. MUUUUtant Monks From Outer Spaaaaace!!! What? I can have fun too, you know. Hmm guess this would be Aussieploitation?

Vash the Stampede??

Our first segement is Phantoms of the Fog by director Chris Milewski (The Cold Eyes of Death, Violets Bloom at an Empty Grave, The World of Shadows and POE 4: The Black Cat). It's got a real Amando de Ossorio, Tombs of the Blind Dead vibe with its opening shoot. Possibly a Lucio Fulci, City of the Living Dead feel. A Vietnam Horror themed film? Cool. A soldier (Ryan Fargo of Wannabees, Phantoms of the Fog and Drive-In Grindhouse) awakes in this fog ridden land and hey bonus points director, for having him in an M-65 field jacket!!! Props, people. Loving them.

With no firearms, blade, radio, rations or water, our grunt stumbles through the jungle not knowing where he is. There's something out there. It lives...in those woods. Stalking our young soldier. Finding an empty range bag, ammo box and a working coms, soldier calls for a position. He looks decidedly creeped out and with good reason. He's being POV stalked. Soldier boy is hung up on a crude EOD (Explosives Ordnance Device) and something is still lurking out there.

Our next short story Death Like Me directed by Ruben Rodriguez (Sisters, It Requires Sacrifice, They Exist, Zombie, 60 Seconds to Die and Just Desserts) tells the tale of a home aide Genesis (Ghevon Sebastian of Emotional Intelligence, The Quad, Black Lightning, Vengeance: Killer Lovers) with a deep seeded need for murder. Bet that didn't get put on her resume. Also seems a bit intorverted, so yeah not very outgoing in the least. Shot with a black and white filter post production, sets more of a tone or maybe even shades of grey.
Her friend Luis (writer/director/actor/second unit and editor Will Fonseca of Table One, Billy's Choice, Winter Solstice, El bandido, and Here to Stay) is trying to get his party on but Genesis is dragging her feet. With elements of Poe sprinkled in, our girl bit of a creeper. Obsessed with the notions, dreams and even random flashes of death, the girl seems lost.
A hapless drunk (Lucio Fernadez of Magic Sticks, 30 Rock Vampire in Union City, the Death of April and Paiting Linda)lands in her lap, providing her such options. Now I am not saying she's unhinged but she is having a conversation Believe the clinical term is: "Crackers!!" Naturally one hits the bar to drown the crazy voices in her head when she gets a Cosmo sent to her by a secret admirer. With a little light conversation, some miscommunication, Genesis takes her back to her creeper pad. Just not in the fashion you are probably accustomed to.

Hmm Fulci or Mattei influence?

With a trailer of Curse of the Monkey Beast an exploitation I completely spaced to mention Kung Fu flicks. Yeah a monkey beast must fight for honor as a white guy spanks this monkey up and down the grounds. Let us not forget the terrifying Beast Rage, ghost house and cannibalistic tendencies, oh my. Another quick bit of Kung Fu is Sifu vs The Undead Warrior. I think the Chromeskull and robed villain of the piece is supposed to be Jiangshi (Chinese Hopping Vampire that sucks Qi). Dear God it is amazing some of the goofy trivia I know. Sifu (Clive McKenzie of Project V: The Viper, Show Me Da Money, Merry Kissmas and Halloween Creep Tales) is locked in mortal combat with a being of ancient standing and dark forces, the Jiangshi (John H. Shelton of Z (Zombie) Reviews, Fragile Minds, Clownsploitation, Grindsploitation 666, Halloween Hell Night and The Isolated Heart). Sifu must defeat his awesome nemesis and then continue to walk the Earth, writing wrongs. Moving on.

SUMMON IRON FISTS!!!

Hmm an sepia blend, some girl experiencing blood letting, a random shot of a horse in a corral. Umm take that Jean Paul Satre! Um something something, madness takes over. Regret and shame. Any who.

Now how about a 15 minute saga of Inanna, the Queen of Heaven? Director/actress/producer Tritia DeViSha (Kali Geisha Erotica Grotesque, Exit from Eden: The Story of Lilith, Cannibal Barbecue and Inanna, The Queen of Heaven) with an ancient goddess made flesh Inanna, Goddess of Lust and War seeks to rule her lands with fairness but is almost prone to a temper.  No I am not doing a sexist joke.  Respect my boundaries.
 
After the armies of Gilamesh (Andrew Lutomski of Counter Play, Vikings Now and Inanna, the Queen of Heaven) came before Inanna, she invites Gilamesh for a conference...in her bedroom...clothing optional. Though a striking beauty, Gilamesh keeps his wits about him. Guess it's like sleeping with a crazy girl, the sex can be amazing but palm a blade just in case. Spurned by Gilamesh, Inanna made demands the mightiest warrior to slay her would-be betrothed. The Bull of Heaven (Matt Jones of Silver Strand, Traffik, Neighbours, Night Shift and Drive-In Grindhouse) was summoned to do her bidding. Dude's pretty cut so maybe substitute lover? Just an idea there, Inanna. Slaughtering dozens of his men, the Bull and Gilamesh (Way to step in late, brah) mix it up.

Can a Sumerian use a Trojan? Gonna need one soon.

Next up seems to be a satire on the roaring 20s as the inhabitants of this dinner party I am convinced escaped the loony bin. Squabbling among themselves during the funeral of their late grandfather we have a couple with the couth of NASCAR fans, a gold digging flapper and a pompous professor. Using a Ouija board (because that's never a bad idea) the hopeless quartet conjures a minor spirit guide who warns them this game is pretty standard but not to dip their hands into the treasure of jewels, for it will unleash the denizens of Hell loose upon them, dragging them down, down down. And apparently a meta time shift. Must have been wibbly wobbly. Being the greedy and foolish asshats that they were, of course they took the jewels.

A few more phony trailers. Got to say liked Sanguine Addiction for pace and warped notions.

On to Roulette. A couple are killing time or just need more of a thrill in their relationship so why not some Russian Roulette? Skipping some levels there, people. Get a marital aid or a threesome going. Going right to the revolver? What will you have to look forward to in your golden anniversary? But of course the game gets interrupted by a Mormon. Mary (Chasiti Vannatta of Amateurs, Roulette and Drive-In Grindhouse) and Henry (Josh Schanderof Roulette and Drive-In Grindhouse) look a little annoyed but decide to hear this stranger out. Discovering the Roulette revolver, the stranger decides to sit in the game. Guess it's hard to push the good book?

Hmm, that is a fifty on the ground but I might get clubbed.

On to Cannibal Maniac via writer/director/producer Kyle Rappaport (Horror Talk Movie Reviews, and Cannibal Maniac). The sit rep is a schmo goes down the stairs of a filthy basement to be stabbed by a nut in a mask that looks to weight about 150.   Not really that intimidating to my way of thinking but I could be wrong.  Schmo wakes up on a makeshift table in said basement a wee bit scared. A bit of shakey cam and gore effects on the inexpensive. Nothing new but well orchestrated. Got the whole found film footage feel to it.

Um we have a short that sounds like the funkadelic only found in porn titles. Feels like a PSA on how to steal a girl's man. The observation gags are funny, the girl has decent projection but I am not exactly sure what is going on.

Chad Media is POV and apparently our camera man is obsessed with Troma Scream Queen Debbie Rochon in the shower. Well...yeah can't really fault him. She is pretty damn gorgeous. Chad Media is so cheap they aren't giving the cameraman a salary but they can fix it to hook up with Debbie. Did they bother to tell her?

How about a Troma promo booty girl? Yeah why not. Twerk away. Then we get a punk cover and a Troma reel of hits. Kinda cool.

Now some slasher fun? The Killer Plumber 2: Here's Barry!!! Brought to us by director/actor/writer Ross Heath (The Killer Plumber, Halloween Hell Night, Knock Knock knock, and Pushed too Far) and writer/actor Chris John Livermore (Halloween Hell Night, Case Files, The Killer Plumber 2 and Creamy Boy) with actress Rahel Kapsaski (Xandermonium, Alice and the Last Lottery, Waxhouse Rock, Doctor Slime, Grindsploitation 666, Molly, and Mephisto's House of Ill Repute)

Clogged drain? Well clearly call the Killer Plumber. A deranged maniac perhaps, but his rates are quite reasonable. With a bit of handy cam, some homemade effects, and some unusual camera angles, this isn't a bad showcase of talent. Could use some lighting schemes and maybe a shotgun mic but overall sets the mood. 

Young lady, stop sexting at the dinner table!

So with this collective levels of film skills, budget and creativity happening, it's time for the last gasp with Big Blind by director/writer Dane Keil (Creative Differences, Xenophobia, Make Games, Not War, Potatoes from Outer Space, Clownsploitation and Drive-In Grindhouse).

This film comes off as positively Noir in tone and vision. Already you have my attention, sir. With an undercover cop, Horace (Kelly Melerine of Decepticons, For Michelle, The Big Blind and Sanguine Addiction) inflitrated a high stakes poker game with a mob boss Tommy (Kevin J. O'Connor of Last Vegas, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Banshee, Constantine, Mile 22 and Drive-In Grindhouse) in the hopes to free his moll (mob girlfriend or misstress) Natalia (Victoria U Bell of the Getaway, The Big Blind, Your Lips Kiss Well, but They Lie Better and The Agony) from the scumbag's hands, it's all in the cards. This is shot like a pulp fiction dime novel with flashback sequences, grit and determination. Hey why are those mooks pummeling Lloyd Kaufman? Meh, maybe he owed them money. Tension is high, the henchmen look like they're about to jump our hero and I am completely digging the jazz as background music.

Ultimately, you have a plethora of talent operating on their own, striving to create original pieces and on a shoestring budget. Admittedly 3 and a half hours is fairly long but it really showcases what these folk can do with a bit of creativity and multiple genres. I mean there are several chunks of this I was really impressed with. Grab a copy on Troma Now and give it a watch. Maybe you'll enjoy it as well.

You will find the passages in the Necronomicon...