Back again oh Readers of Rotten. Yeah I am liking that tagline. Feel free to shoot a variant or simply different term to quantify yourselves, my readers. Today we haven't had nearly enough schlock in some time; so who better to go to then Bruno Mattei (Rats, Shocking Dark, Strike Commando, Robowar, Strike Commando 2 and Island of the Living Dead) and Claudio Fragasso (Monster Dog, Zombie 3, Troll 2, After Death, Beyond Darkness,Operazione Odissea and The Squad) the Mockbusters of Italy. Is the film a Giallo? Is it a slasher film? We will find out.
This is Night Killer a.k.a. Do not open that door 3
|Eww, your hand smell of Astroglide and pathetic tears.|
Wow with in the first 8 minutes we got nudity (Yes fellas there's titty in this) and I just know this will be an international epic. We also have English dubbing that may or may not actually, possibly mimic human speech patterns. This is due to an Italian film crew needing all lines having everything phonetically translated. This is one of the many reasons Troll 2 is awesomely bad. Also question your life choices if you are considering watching Troll 2 without a drinking or riffing game.
On with the film as we see choreography on the stage. Work those calves guys and dolls. No they aren't doing a production of Guys & Dolls. The dancing is all over the stage, aerobics in the background and the play director looks like she is doubling over from bad clams. All in all a fun time clearly. Honestly, these many uncoordinated white folk dancing brings me right back to Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter. While viewing Crispin Glover's character looking like he is have several myocardial episodes, I screamed at the screen offering Jason $80 to off them all.
|FAME! None of you gonna get it!|
One of the dancers shows up late and director well, she really didn't chew the girl out. It was tame so she is gotta get dressed for rehearsal and we got a music cue of bad guy about, with a near Freddy Krueger knifed glove and bad head? Going by the shadow, folks. An almost Radu from Subspecies hand eases the changing room door as we gander at nude blonde soon-to-be-dead. Keeping it classy, right movie? In addition to a Kreuger knock off mask, he has Zombified, Mongoloid, Hillbilly Jason Voorhees murder strength; as he penetrates her entire chest with a slightly effeminate jab. One Punch Man could have made that strike. Also the killer's apparel is already revealed to be wearing said mask, a maintenance jumpsuit and a black trench coat. Between Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees, those jumpsuits just fly off the shelves.
The director has a slight meltdown and by that it sounds like she is supposed to be frustrated...it came off like she forgot her lines. I could be wrong. With the PG-13 Tourette's aside, she goes for a smoke and calming down. Ew Camels non-filtered. I think I figured out why she couldn't project loudly. Oh in case it sounds like I don't even care about the actors dancing, there are no credits to their IMDB I could find. Yeah! That's what I am dealing with here.
Frustrated, the director/choreographer goes to give Elizabeth Ross (Yup, Betsy Ross) a piece of her mind and she bumps right into the killer; who rakes her throat with his Radu claws. 8 minutes in and we are finally getting our title cards. A few directors still like that gag. Finally, lead characters. Melanie (Tara Buckman of The Cannonball Run, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Xtro II: The Second Encounter, Freddy's Nightmares, and Blindfold: Acts of Obsession) sends her daughter Clarissa (Tova Sardot of Night Killer) to see her dad. Ahh divorce but still behaved. Good call, parents. I would also point out the striking resemblance Tara Buckman has to Linda Hamilton. Kind of eerie truth be told.
Suburban life of 90's coifed hair, shoulder pads in business jackets for both sexes and economy cars. It is winter in Virginia Beach (in spite of being shot mostly in Rome) and the exposition plot dump tells the tale of the killer as he is also...a rapist. Yay. Grrr. Really need to start viewing synopsis better.
|Renegotiating nudity clauses.|
We know that Mel is a serious writer, because her whole den is infested with books and she smokes indoors. I vaguely recall smoking indoors. We get a red herring with her ex-lover as he drinks too much and sounds like he was voiced by a drunk Angus Scrimm (Tall Man from Phantasm series).
Melanie is attacked by said murder/rapist and she saw his face but the events are so traumatic she can't bear to think of it. A quick technical note, there was a beginning scene of Tara topless and mere seconds later, she's got a sweater on. The editor fall asleep or fall off the wagon? Your guess is as good as mine.
This masked sicko roams the streets and the cops are doing everything but yelling at Melanie for not remembering that horrible day. Yes fellas, it's all her fault your investigations turned up nothing. Jerks.
Will the killer be brought to justice? Will Melanie remember the killer, let alone who she is?
I get the vibe that Fragasso was going for an intense thriller and they snagged Bruno Mattei for the gobsmack collection of nudity and gore as he is known for. You can really tell the difference in their two styles. The gore is definitely there, the effects are pretty hammy and the music score sounds like someone sat on a Casio keyboard. What had the potential for a good ,psychological thriller murder mystery got dumb down for blood, guts and nudity.
So if you need implied rape and murder, see a shrink. If you want complex story line and clever dialogue, don't watch this. The irony is in the title as most of the murder/rapes were happening in daylight hours or really well lit homes. Yeah well this was awful and I am out. Please again, feel free to suggest titles for future reviews.
|Shall I hold you closer, tiny dancer?|