Slay Belles

What is the true meaning of Christmas? Peace and goodwill to all? Mass consumerism? Friends and family gathered to share memories? Well these extensional thoughts are all well and good but, I think it means I have another requested horror film. Yup, no Capra or Sirk requests. No, I get jiggly girls caught in the middle of an ancient battle between good and evil. This is Slay Belles.

You strippers is crazy!

In an abandoned Christmas theme park, three pesky girls Sadie (Hannah Minx of The Devil's Carnival, FearFighter and Slay Belle), Alexi (Kristina Klebe of Halloween, The Accidental Husband, Public Interest, Wild About Harry, Zone of the Dead, BreadCrumbs, Rise of Nightmares and The Kiss of a Killer) and Dahlia (Susan Slaughter of Social Medium, Party Monsters, Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival, Ouija House, Cynthia, Slay Belles, Bliss andThe Dawn) are out and about exploring this forgotten land of mirth and merriment. Naturally this means an assortment of selfies. Ugh. Cleavage baring outfits aside, they genuinely feel like friends that known each other for quite some time. Our intrepid trio is a gang of YouTubers named Adventure Girls. Their niche is cosplay and abandoned buildings exploration.

Around the abandoned village, a biker belching, scratching and being more vulgar than Romanian sailors on a drunken rampage, the girls are a bit creeped out. Unbeknownst to the girls, but pieced together easily enough by viewers of the genre; the girls manage to irk the ancient disposer of naughty children, the Krampus. FYI, the costume's practical effects looks like right out of the old engravings of the German mythos.

Close Encounters of the Ick Kind.

We have a pulp fiction standing of a movie or story with sequences out of place. Prior to this visit the girls sit in with Cherry (Diane Salinger of The Butcher's Wife, Batman Returns, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, Ghost World and Carnivale) and her bar for rounds of whiskey and a steady diet of exposition about the random bear attacks in the woods.

Donning risque costumes, makeup prepped and attitudes perky, the girls scamper about the village, upset the monster and come face to face with less than jolly Old St Nick (Barry Bostwick of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Megaforce, Spy Hard, Spin City and FDR: Badass), who would rather be riding his hog (His chopper. Don't be lewd)than dealing with the likes of Krampus and his ilk. Now our vapid, vacuous, vain girly girls have to fight for Christmas and the world instead of click bait.

Damn Frat boys. Always doing this to me.

As always with most horror, the cops are useful as a uranium enema.   Ew, that was a nasty visual but my point still stands.  With aid of improvised weapons, Santa and Ranger Sean (Stephen Ford of Bratz, Maneater, Masked Rider: Dragon Knight, Private Practice,Teen Wolf and Homecoming) the girls are ready to do battle. Win or lose.

Alright the meat and potatoes of this. One: only one real stage or environment to use so cost is down. Two: There is more than a handful of recognizable faces, Three: this is meant to be a Horror Comedy and while there is some funny, yeah it's going to be graphic. Four: The practical effects are really damn good. Krampus alone looks amazing. I did laugh seeing Richard Moll of Night Court, House and Circus Kane and well as Diane Ayala Goldner of Feast, Halloween II, The Collector and Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.

For those that recognize the area, yes that is Santa's Village via Lake Arrowhead in the San Bernadino National Forest. I have only been up there twice but the structures looked familiar and yeah it is about the size of a medieval village.

It's silly, bloody and just damn odd.  Do I recommend it?  Well only if you are in a "Up Yours, Christmas," kind of mood.  I somehow don't see it replacing Dr. Suess's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

So this is Chatsworth? We're here to audition.