The November Man

Greetings and salutations, Readers of Rotten. Yeah that still sounds iffy at best. Seriously, someone workshop a better fan base name. I am coming at you with NOT a horror movie. Shocked? I can only imagine. Instead I recently had the good fortune to sink my teeth (metaphorically) into a decent spy/thriller/action film starring that Pierce Brosnan fellow. Yeah you may have heard of him from time to time. A retired spy, a long standing conspiracy, war crimes and student versus the master. This is The November Man. 

 

These prices are outrageous!

 

 

 

 

 

Based on the novel, "There Are No Spies" by the late Bill Granger; our titled movie is actually the 7^th novel of 12 and yes this writer is telling anyone that loves a good spy game to go and pick those books up.

Our story follows veteran CIA handler/operative Peter Devereaux (Pierce Brosan of Remington Steele, Noble House, The Lawnmower Man, Live Wire, GoldenEye, Robinson Crusoe, Tomorrow Never Dies, The Thomas Crown Affair, The World Is Not Enough, The Tailor of Panama, After the Sunset, The Ghost Writer and I Don't Know How She Does It) grooming his protege, David Mason, sharpshooter, hand-to-hand and follows orders (Luke Bracey of Home and Away, Dance Academy, Monte Carlo, Amensia, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Westside, Point Break, Hacksaw Ridge and Lucky Day) until he jumps the literal gun and a civilian is caught in the line of fire. Devereaux retires five years later and is free of the CIA's black bag ops, running a small cafe off of Montenegro and living life. 

 

Die, squirrel die!

 

 

 

 

 

A visit from an old colleague, John Hanley (Bill Smitrovich of Miami Vice, Band of the Hand, Manhunter, Crime Story, Life Goes On, The Phantom, Ghosts of Mississippi. Batman Beyond, Nash Bridges, A Nero Wolfe Mystery, The Practice and The Event) drops Devereaux intel that former General soon-to-be President of Russia, Arkady Federov (Lazar Ristovski of Svetozar Markovic, Terasa, The Way Steel Was Tempered, Underground, Rage, Balkan Rules, Midwinter Night's Dream, The White Lions and On The Other Side) has serious dirt that the CIA wants and they are using an operative that Devereaux recruited. Hanley says that she will only come in if Devereaux is there for the extraction.

The op goes down, car chases ensue and bullets start flying. Yeesh sounds like a hybrid of Jason Bourne and James Bond happening in Belgrade!! The asset dies, Devereaux is pissed and Mason left with the smoking gun. This huge amount of casualties and property destruction all for one name. Mira. A girl that has been missing since 1999 at age fifteen. While FSB and the CIA are all scrambling around with girls on their brains and heads up their asses, the President elect sends a wet work assassin to find anyone with the whereabouts of Mira and remove her.

Devereaux uses his skill set and finds a case worker that deals with refugees, Alice Fournier (Olga Kurylenko of The Serpent, Hitman, Max Payne, Quantum of Solace, Tyranny, Erased, To the Wonder, Seven Psychopaths, Magic City, Vampire Academy and A Perfect Day) whose every day life of shuffling papers, placing displaced girls and giving them a better life just went rocky. With more chases, fist fights and a bit of John Woo inspired Gun Fu, Devereaux and Alice get out alive but for how long?

 

 

Popeye's packin' a rod!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling this a political SNAFU is similar to calling the meltdown of Chernobyl a minor inconvenience. Players on all sides are looking for this girl Alice now and the objectives are not clear if she is to be interrogated, tortured, murdered or in general; have an unpleasant weekend.

The clock is ticking and Devereaux is not the young man he was but by God he is going to make retirement rather interesting.

Will the Russians get the girl? Will the CIA give her asylum? With either put a bullet through her?

 

 

Let me go on the record of saying that Devereaux is a fairly dark character. If you were expecting shaken martinis, glib lines and gentleman's rule of fisticuffs. WRONG MOVIE. Yes, we do have a former Bond but Brosnan is so far removed from that bit of double o, you start to fear for the girl's safety in even his hands.

Director Roger Donaldson (No Way Out, Cocktail, Dante's Peak, Species, The Recruit, Thirteen Days, and The Bank Job) wanted an older Bond for this role, give him a near sinister way of doing things. Daniel Craig was originally cast but prior commitments made him bow out. Donaldson opted for Sir Sean Connery, who flat out said, "I'm too old to be running around with a gun." and then remembered the rapport he already had with Pierce courtesy of Dante's Peak.

This is moody, rough and tumble. Gun play and yes fellas, there's some titty scenes. No ladies, I don't even wait for them to message me any more. Anytime I get hyped up about a compelling story or clever character arc; the almost automatic response is, "Uh yeah. So there's titty, right?" Apologies for my gender's behavior once again, ladies.

The overall vibe of this flick? Gritty, badass fights, good story and a really bang on cast for this spy thriller. Hell, I can easily watch this again.

 

Like my Ghost in the Shell cosplay?

 

Rob Zombie's Halloween

Howdy again, Realm of Rotten Readers. I'm begging you guys to come up with something more catchy. It is just not happening for me. Okay, today on the docket has been a fan request for some time. 

 Initially I wasn't interested because I am touchy about remakes but I have been a fan of the man's writing/music and directing so let's see if the unrated version is a bit more intriguing. For some of you that asked me to NOT review this, tough. If you this does not capture your attention, I am more than certain there are other blogs out there. This is Rob Zombie's Halloween.

 

You're my only Kirk, Mr. Shatner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, yes I know Carpenter fans. I am fully aware many of you booed and hissed your way through this flick. I get it. It was not your cup of tea. Let us set aside these issues before I have Malcolm McDowell Cameo the hell out of your social media! I mean, if I can afford that.

We hearken back to the days of young Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch of Dark Mirror, Halloween, Hancock, Run! Bitch Run!, Sebastian, Ditch Party and Killer Therapy) may have a few personality quirks...in the same way Attila the Hun may have had an thriving outdoors-man lifestyle.

The thing is...Zombie's idea was to step away from Carpenter's "Pure Evil" storyline because he wanted his own spin of the flick. Obviously he is a fan of the original but he didn't want to rely heavily on the existing formula. So he gave Michael a bad childhood. A bully big sister, a mother that moonlights as a stripper, a baby sister, an abusive stepfather (No not Terry o' Quinn) and he's constantly berated at school by bullies. Slowly this starts to warp the lad and the next thing you know, he's onto computer games, comic books and RPGs. Oh no, wait. He starts murdering the neighborhood pets. Some sort of catharsis strangling a cat or three. 

 

Another Craigslist Causal Encounters comes to a close.

 

 

 

 

 

 

His mother Deborah (Sherri Moon Zombie of House of 1000 Corpses, Toolbox Murders, The Devil's Rejects, Halloween, Californication, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto and The Lords of Salem) has been made aware of the strange goings on of her little boy, but it doesn't seem to register that she is raising a sociopath.  THE KID HAD A DEAD CAT IN HIS BOOK BAG!!!  How many warning sirens and klaxons you need to go off, lady?  Sheesh!  But Dopey Deborah just puts the whole scenario down as boys being boys.   WTF??!!! 

 

Just payin' for college. Honest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abusive stepdad Ronnie (William Forsythe of Raising Arizona, Out For Justice, Dick Tracy, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, Virtuosity, The Rock, Boardwalk Empire, The Mob Doctor, and The Witching Hour) is a drunk, unemployed and generally worthless. CHARACTER!

Mikey decides he's grows weary of bully beatings and catches up with one of the boys beating him repeatedly with a thick tree branch. I mean we hear the meaty thunks and the bully boy crying his eyes out. Should have popped him in the mouth, son. Would have been more mumbles than screams. It does sound pathetic as you begin to realize his parents are probably wondering why he's not back from school yet.

Oh quick note, isn't it funny that Charles Lee Ray(Brad Dourif of Child's Play) and Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell of A Clockwork Orange) are pairing up to stop a serial killer?  Yeah it's food for thought, right?

Like a CGI crocodile, Michael's on a rampage as he gives Ronnie and Judith the business end of the murder tools. Also I really couldn't muster any sympathy for Ronnie and Judith, both were kind of awful. Maybe turning them into frickin' kabobs was a bit much, but I couldn't say.

40 minutes of the film is spent showing us Michael going down the rabbit hole to full blown loony tunes. The scenes with Young Michael (Daeg) and Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell of A Clockwork Orange, Time After Time, Caligula, Cat People, Class of 1999, Tank Girl, Star Trek: Generations, Wing Commander, Wing Commander Academy, God of War III and Suing the Devil) establishing the rapport the boy has for his doctor as this is ultimately the only real father figure he has ever had. Loomis tries to avoid becoming attached and remain clinical but he cannot help but allow his heart to go out to one so young and lost. Granted, telling this kid that his wife has up and left as well as, most of his friends because he cannot seem to get past Michael's issues seems a tad unprofessional.

Okay the biggest complaint about this film has been that everyone working in the wacko basket is either rude, heartless or has a rape-like tendency. Seems like there were no personality screening at this nut house.

17 years institutionalized at the institute and Michael makes his move. Funny how he's as big as Tyler Mane from X-Men. Previous Michaels had suffered enough from stunt injuries. 2007? Couldn't have gotten Kane Hodder? Sure he wouldn't be playing Voorhees but I bet he could have made a fun spin on Myers. 

 

O.M.G. We're adorbs!

 

 

 

 

 

Whatever happened to Baby Boo? Well she's now Laurie Strode (Scout-Taylor Compton of Charmed, Wicked Little Things, Halloween, April Fool's Day, The Runaways, Nashville, Feral, The Lurker and Eternal Code) and thankfully she has 80s Mom badass herself, Dee Wallace! By God if there's a critter, rabid St. Bernard or pack of werewolves, Dee's got this in the bag! 

Accompanying Laurie is Annie Brackett (Halloween alumni Danielle Harris of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, The Last Boy Scout, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Roseanne, Left for Dead, Hatchet II, Stake Land, Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2, Hatchet III and Camp Dread) and Lynda (Kristina Klebe of Zone of the Dead, Criminal Minds, 6 Month Rule, Alter Egos, The Kiss of a Killer, Proxy, Friday the 13^th: The Game and Slay Belles)

For those not following; I will give you the heads up. Yes, there is nudity. Yes there is elaborate gore and yes there is some dialogue that will make you cringe. IT'S A SLASHER FLICK! This did not RUIN the Halloween franchise. Those precious gobbets of Horror are still out there. The original film didn't suddenly burst into flames or was written out of the spacetime contiuum.

Seriously, with the "Thorn" trilogy of Jamie, to the H20 reboot claiming 1 and 2 were the only cannon, and then the 8^th stink nugget Resurrection? Yes, clearly it was Rob Zombie's foul deeds that would ever made this garbled storyline awful. Busta Rhymes killing Michael. The hell, man?

Is this for every Halloween fan? Maybe not. While there are more orchestrated death scenes, it really feels like Zombie was doing the gore grab bag to see what looked nastier on film. Did it make money? Yes! With a budget of 15 million estimated the US Gross alone was over $58 million. Hell, opening weekend was $26 million right there.

Chronology is the biggest gripe for a lot of the critics. Most of the vehicles, music and clothing look like the late 70s, so this could simply be a nod to the original, however as the 17 years have passed, clothing styles, cars and cell phones are making their way so now it looks like the 2000s. I don't know. Hell my only real beef is an insane asylum would have metal forks around a bunch of nutter butters. You know, that whole fear that one of the inmates could use it to attack hospital staff or fellow inmates. That being said, I now want to see a graphic death scene with a spork. Am I alone on this? Huh? HUH?! 

 

With talented character actors like Bill Mosely, Ken Foree, Danny Trejo, Richard Lynch, Clint Howard, Udo Kier, Sybil Danning and Leslie Easterbrook, it is damn hard to say who I am most happy to see in a flick. Now yes, I do admit to enjoying "The Boogeyman" legend of Michael Myers and Donald Pleasence as the voice of the conscience but AGAIN, Rob wanted to do his own story. It is my firm belief if he did the exact carbon copy of Halloween; there would be even more internet troll bitch fights. Win or lose, Zombie has product, an opening, a middle and an ending. That folks, is called a movie. Whether you were expecting me to crucify it or not, I am just looking at it from my point of view and nothing more.

 

Hang on. I have my script notes here.

 

Batman: Soul of the Dragon

 What's happenin' hepcats and kittens!! Readers of the Rotten, I am back from migraine/cluster hell and no, that is not what this write-up is about. So today I found on IMDB a few actors I follow as they discussed this particular animated film from Warner Brothers. With a overall vibe of exploitation, blaxploitation and Kung Fu double features were the order of the day, this movie also brings about a well-known superhero. This is Batman: Soul of the Dragon.

 

 

I am the night... Dig?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The era is 1970s, an organization known as the Cult of Kobra seeks an ancient relic that will bring about the destruction of mankind. Baby, that ain't cool. Our story centers around 6 students of an elder martial arts master and how they each found their path. O-sensei (James Hong of Chinatown,Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China, Jackie Chan Adventures, Dragon Dynasty and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) has instructed would-be warriors for many years. Each of these students come from different walks of life and each all have their own pain they either wish to conquer or use that rage as a weapon. 

 

 

Laaaaadies...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bruce Wayne (David Giuntoli of Privileged, Eli Stone, U.S. Attorney, Grimm, 13 Hours, Mother's Little Helpers and A Million Little Things) has learned what he must to bring about his crusade as Batman. His close ally, Richard Dragon (Mark Dacascos of Double Dragon, Sabotage, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Stargate Atlantis, Wolvesbayne, Mortal Kombat: Legacy and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) a super spy for the CIA, a James Bond archetype that just happens to resemble the late Bruce Lee. Richard finds this cult is fronting all sorts of criminal acts as they chase after a mystical door. A door Richard and his fellow students are all together familiar with. Time to rally the troops.

After Batman agrees to join Richard, they have a greater task ahead of them. Getting the ruler of Chinatown on board with them. The merciless, ruthless and gorgeous Lady Shiva (Kelly Hu of Surf Ninjas, Sunset Beach, Martial Law, The Scorpion King, X2: X-Men United, Succubus: Hell-Bent, Robot Chicken and Batman: Under the Red Hood) runs a fighting ring, probably some racketeering and a bit of protection money. That being said, that section of town is probably street crime free, no graffiti and less cars getting boosted. Shiva longs for the battle for those that belittle her master's goals and teachings. Not to mention Bruce's disco and Shiva's fight club suffered damages. Damn, if only Shiva knew a boy billionaire that is loaded with greenbacks.

 

Ms. Woosan if yer nasty

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, at a nearby dojo, Ben Turner is teaching classes for underprivileged kids and trying to strengthen their hopes and dreams. Ben Turner a.k.a. Bronze Tiger (Michael Jai White of Spawn, Silverhawk, Universal Soldiers: The Return, Blood and Bone, Black Dynamite, For Better or Worse, Black Dynamite cartoon and Chocolate City) who claims if he didn't spare a cult member, none of this would be happening. With our four warriors ready to bust some heads and kick some ass, the cult is moving forward with their intentions, their leader of course has two substantial fighters higher than his typical acolytes.

King Snake (Patrick Seitz of EverQuest II: Echoes of Faydwer, Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles, Mega Man Star Force, League of Legends, Black Butler, Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil" The Mercenaries 3D), a blind martial arts master and Lady Eve (Grey Griffin of Star Wars: Jedi Knight- Jedi Academy, True Crime: Streets of LA, Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel, The Weekenders, Doom 3, World of Warcraft, Star Wars: Clone Wars, X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and Ultimate Avengers: The Movie) a true believer and devout follower with twin blades at her service. 

 

A few points of observation at this time. One, this doesn't appear to be any Batman continuity but feels more like an action/adventure flick. Two, this is a great voice cast handling our main characters, the story is solid and the animation does an excellent job.

In addition, voice work done by Jaime Chung (Days of Our Lives, Katrina, Greek, Samurai Girl, Sorority Row, Sucker Punch, The Hangover Part II, The Man with the Iron Fists, Frank Miller's Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Resident Advisors and Gotham), Chris Cox (All-Star Superman, Gears of War 3, F.E.A.R. 3, Batman: Arkham City, Saints Row: The Third, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and Skylanders: Giants) and Erica Luttrell (The Magic School Bus, The New Ghostwriter Mysteries, Dave the Barbarian, Diablo III: Reaper of Souls, Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham, World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor, The Death and Return of Superman and Magnum P.I.)

From the street thugs to the axe wielding lunatics, to the car chases; this truly embraces 70s exploitation so well. And yes Bronze Tiger does resemble Jim Kelly of Black Belt Jones, Black Samurai and Enter the Dragon. The funny part is Kelly Hu is reprising Shiva's voice. She voiced her originally in Batman: Arkham Origins as well as, Michael Jai White reprises Bronze Tiger of which he played live action in Arrow. Yes this was a fun flick, it's violent, good story and plenty of action.

 

Black Samuarai? Hell no. That's Bronze Tiger, baby.