Michael Crichton Week: Sphere

So we have Day 4 of Michael Crichton Week as we move into a sci-fi psychological thriller directed and produced by Barry Levinson (Diner, Young Sherlock Holmes, Tin Men, Good Morning, Vietnam, Rain Man, Avalon, Bugsy, Toys, Jimmy Hollywood and Disclosure) and you would think a story of a 300 year old spacecraft found in the great depths of the ocean would be a kick ass sci-fi story. But lengthy shots of water, a Samuel Jackson turning pages and Academy Award winner composure Elliot Goldenthal (Pet Sematary, Grand Isle, Alien 3, Demolition Man, Interview with the Vampire, Cobb and Heat) bringing the tone buUuuUuUut...yea not gonna lie, this one hurt a bit. This is Sphere.

I farted. I'm owning up.  Sorry about that.

With a team of experts in their field, the crew of the Habitat (self contained underwater observation and living conditional bio-sphere) consisting of mathematician Dr. Harry Adams (Samuel L Jackson of Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, XXX, The Incredibles, Snakes on a Plane, Iron Man 2, The Avengers and The Boondocks), Marine biologist Dr. Beth Halperin (Sharon Stone of Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold, Action Jackson, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, The Specialist, The Quick and the Dead, Casino, Cold Creek Manor and Catwoman), astrophysicist Ted Fielding (Liev Schreiber of Scream 2, Jakob the Liar, The Hurricane, Hamlet, Scream 3, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Salt and Spotlight), psychologist Dr. Norman Goodman (Dustin Hoffman of The Graduate, Kramer vs Kramer, All the President's Men, Toostie, Rain Man, Sleepers, Mad City, Wag the Dog and The Cobbler) under the watchful eye of U.S. Navy Captain Barnes (Peter Coyote of Bitter Moon, Unforgettable, Top of the World, Seeds of Doubt, Patch Adams, Erin Brockovich, Femme Fatale and Purpose) as this contained unit is mere yards from the spacecraft.

Must...not...emote.

Closer examination points out this ship is in fact not alien but American based technology. With further probing and diagnosis, the crew find the ship's logs showing the ship undertook an unknown event similar to or perhaps actually travelling through a black hole sending the space vessel into the corridors of time and space. (*cue Dr. Who theme circa 1986!) After making it back to the Habitat, the crew notice a large perfectly spherical ball of fluid hovering about the cargo bay. No way to scrutinize or canvass its abilities, the one thing that does stand out is all objects seem to cast a reflection but no human faces or forms do in it.

Dr. Adams is convinced that mathematically they are all fated to die and the logs will prove this because of this non-eventual ship in an eventual horizon has come to be and wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Adams goes over to the sphere and into the spacecraft then back to the Habitat with a mere whim it almost feels. He and Goodman are trying to interface with the logs when it is discovered that a series of encoded messages appear over all the computer screens causing a bit of panic in the crew as the desperately attempt to decipher them.

Time travel?  Next you be talkin' about Asgardian and gamma monsters.

A large typhoon over the surface of water forces the crew to stay longer than predicted, with equipment failures, and aggressive lifeforms in the water attacking the crew. Beth, Norman and Harry believe an A.I.on the spacecraft is responsible. They have been naming it Jerry and demand to know what is going on. As they calculate and postulate, they realize that every death or haphazard scenario is something the crew was afraid of.

Are these manifestations even real? Have the crew been about to tap into power allowing them to create matter from nothing? Does this sound like a Neil Degrasse Tyson drunken rambling??

Now I have a few complaints about the film itself. One, you really start to feel the two and half hours drag and your own conclusions to the film hit you pretty early. It almost feels like you are waiting for the actors to play catch up. Two, the conclusions made by the cast kind of feels like they are grasping at straws to the level that impossible was made possible by them sitting around and debating. 

Dustin Hoffman felt the issues of this movie were never properly addressed and the movie is incomplete at best. I have to agree. These are complex mathematical concepts and to just run into them so quickly felt to confined a result. We are dealing with five dimensional math and theoretical physics that are never addressed well enough for an outcome to be believable enough for a proper ending. With a budget of $80 million in 1997, they managed to only clear $81 worldwide and was considered a flop greater than Waterworld.

C'mon contract, gimme a loophole to get out of this flick.

Michael Crichton Week: Congo

Day 3 of Michael Crichton Week brings about a less flattering one of his looser translated books. The offbeat attitude of the film is a bit more humor than the novel but it felt like the forced zany of the Brendan Fraser Mummy movies. This is Congo.

Damn teleconference!

An expedition for a telecommunications corporation TraviCom, employees Charles Travis (Bruce Campbell of The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Icebreaker, Jack of All Trades, Spider-Man, Sky High, Burn Notice and Ash vs Evil Dead) and Jeff Weems (Taylor Nichols of Barcelona, Boiler Room, Jurassic Park III, Black Mail, Hide Away, Freeloaders, Possessions and Godzilla) have made their discovery, a blue diamond that will boost their satellite signals 100 times over. To celebrate, they call TraviCom to boast the good news showing video and audio link when they realize the rest of their expedition team are dead and then...silence.

I FLOSS!!!

Meanwhile back at TraviCom HQ Karen Ross (Laura Linney of Searching for Bobby Fischer, Primal Fear, Absolute Power, The Truman Show, You Can Count on Me, Mystic River, Love Actually, Man of the Year and The Nanny Diaries) is desperate to regain contact with the expedition via remote to pan around the remains of the team, their supplies and tents. Ross bolts to get ahold of CEO and Charles' dad, R.B. Travis (Joe Don Baker of Guns of the Magnificent Seven, Walking Tall, Golden Needles, Mitchell, The Pack, The Shadow Chikara, Final Justice, The Living Daylights, Goldeneye and Tomorrow Never Dies) who is concerned about his son and party and Ross offers to lead to a new team to find Charles ASAP.

Meanwhile Dr. Elliot (Dylan Walsh of Congo, Nip/Tuck, The Lake House, NCIS: New Orleans and Unforgettable) a primatologist teaching a young gorilla named Amy sign language and she has this cobbled backpack with a portable battery pack that helps her translate her sign language to English so she can be the first to offer communications from primates to humans. And I thought all you need bananas and chest beating. Naturally the upper one percenters, college alumni and philanthropists doesn't seem interested in Elliot's request. A Romanian name of Herkermer Homolka (Tim Curry of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend, Clue, Fish Police, FernGully: The Last Rainforest, Muppet Treasure Island, Voltron: The Third Dimension and Family Affair) offers to pay to take young Amy and the doc out to the Congo and Ross joins them in the trek.

Grr.  I guess.  Whatever.

While in Africa (Costa Rica regions and Kenya) the team meets up Munro Kelly (Ernie Hudson of Human Tornado, Highcliffe Manor, White Mama, Ghostbusters, The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians, The Last Precinct, The Crow, Levitation, Shark Attack, Miss Congeniality, Oz and Everything's Jake) to lead them in the deep jungles but they got scooped up by a militia captain name of Wanta (Delroy Lindo of Beauty and the Beast, A Man Called Hawk, Bright Angel, The Hard Way, Malcolm X, Clockers, Broken Arrow, Romeo Must Die, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Heist, The Last Castle, Sahara, Domino and Point Break) capturing the lot of them and offering his services for an mildly obscene fee. Heading to a Lost City of Zinj next to this fabled diamond mine the expedition's camp is completely wrecked and a grey gorilla had clearly had been slaughtering outlanders left and right.

Will the team find Charles still alive? What is the significance of the gorilla and this lost city? 

The gorillas are practical effect bodysuits and fairly strong stuntmen for that rather than the lesser CGI. Bruce Campbell originally auditioned for Dr. Elliot but ended up with Charles Travis role instead. The volcano was actually an active volcano called Volcan Arenal, in Costa Rica. The funniest fact is the pilot of 727 was played by none other Jimmy Buffett. 

Truly my accent is what keeps this film together.

Michael Crichton Week: Westworld

And we are back! Now the lag of the week has been migraine land so I apologize. Today we look at an amazing concept that has been made pop culture for more than 30 years. A film written and directed by novelist Michael Crichton. Depicting a Western theme park filled with androids. More than a few issues arrive and certain controversy. This is Westworld.

So the hat really does make me look silly then?

In the far away time of 1983 (hehehe). A high-tech and realistic amusement park called Delos. 3 separate themed worlds populated by the androids with Westworld, an old west town, Medieval World, a town of antiquated Europe and Roman World, the ancient depiction of Pompeii. Each world is jam packed with androids so sophisticated they are equivalent to humanity, it is uncanny.

For a thousand clams a day, guests can enjoy any adventure in the park, including boinking the droids or challenging them to a fight to the death.  Delos' commercial tags the adverts with Boy, have we got a vacation for you!" Enter our adventurers, Peter Martin (Richard Benjamin of Catch-22, Love at First Bite, Saturday the 14^th, Witches' Brew, Deconstructing Harry, Marci X and Keeping Up with the Steins) first-time visitor and his buddy John Blaine (James Brolin of Marcus Welby, M.D.,The Car, Steel Cowboy, The Amityville Horror, Night of the Juggler, Hotel, Indecent Behavior II, The Expert, Extreme, Pensacola: Wings of Gold, Traffic and Burlesque) as they each engage the Gunslinger (Yul Brenner of The King and I, The Ten Commandments, The Magnificent Seven, Romance of Horsethief, Fuzz, Anna and the King, Futureworld and Death Rage), an android computing and calculating potential gunfights and boy if doesn't look a bit like that Chris Larabee Adams from The Magnificent Seven.

We don't take kind to yer kind around here. boy.  Tourists.

The pistols given to the guests have sensors that prevent them from shooting humans or anything with a higher body temperature but allows for the gunfights with the androids with a lower temperature. The programming of Gunslinger giving guests ample time to draw their guns and shooting him with the android always returning the next day for a new duel.

Several glitches seems to be spreading throughout the androids. The techs notice the robots among Roman World and Medieval World start breaking down or having some sort of systems failure. Chief Supervisor (Alan Oppenheimer of The Six Million Dollar Man, Wuzzles, He-Man and The Masters of the Universe, The Transformers, Ghostbusters, Rambo, Bionic Six, Mama's Family, The Smurfs, Murphy Brown and The Legend of Prince Valiant) is having problems computer virus would be less than feasible establishing the complicated organisms not too different from human beings built by other computers. He has to admit as a whole, they still don't really know how they work a hundred percent.

You got a bug on your shirt.  Lemme get that for ya.

The malfunctions get worse as Blane is bitten by a robo rattlesnake. In Medieval World the Black Knight (Michael T. Mikler of War Party, Thunder Alley, Ice Station Zebra, Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid and Westworld) cared not for a guest's advance on one of the serving wenches and proceeds to gut the guest. At the bordello, Martin and Blane relax after a bar room brawl when Gunslinger challenges both men to a showdown. The guys treat it like a gag until Gunslinger gut shoots Blane while Martin flees for his life with Gunslinger in pursuit.

Have all the androids gone completely crackers??? Can Martin get out alive??? Will he get a refund???

You know you have seen too much TV and film when you recognize too many faces such as Dick Van Patten as the Banker, Majel Barrett Roddenberry as Miss Carrie and Norman Bartold as one of the medieval knights. With a budget estimated at $1.2 million, this film grossed 10 million in theaters and cleared another 4 million via VHS rentals.

Nominated for a Hugo, Nebula and Saturn awards is the first of feature films to use a digital image processing to give the androids machine code and viewing.  Its practical effects look a bit hammy now but were spot on for their day and inspired generations of movie makers.   Because of the success of Westworld, a sequel Futureworld and Beyond Westworld TV series came. Of course most are aware of the HBO current series in 2016.

Heh, he's just upset he can't grow a magnificent Brolin beard.

Michael Crichton Week: The 13th Warrior.

Howdy all and welcome to the week. Well I have not been getting any requests on either Rotten Reelz Reviews or Rotten Ramblin' On so I thought maybe starting up a group on Facebook so folks could drop a remark, request or restraining order. Whatever fits your mood. Let me know if that sounds like a good idea.

Today's film hails from acclaimed director John McTiernan (Predator, Die Hard, The Hunt for Red October, Medicine Man, Last Action Hero, Die Hard with a Vengeance, The Thomas Crowne Affair and Rollerball) to bring us some awesome action, compelling drama and a dark tale to be told of bravery and valor. However, none of this could be possible without our novelist/screenplay writer Michael Crichton (The Andromeda Strain, A Case of Need, Binary, Westworld, The Terminal Man, The Great Train Robbery, Looker, Runaway, Jurassic Park, Disclosure, Twister, Sphere and Timeline) conjuring up this battle of good vs evil. This is The 13^th Warrior.

As long as my career doesn't go south.

A poet/storyteller and lesser Arabian nobleman Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Antonio Banderas of Matador, Baton Rouge, The Mambo Kings, Interview with the Vampire, Desperado, Four Rooms, Assassins, The Mask of Zorro, Original Sin, Shrek 2, Thick as Thieves, The Expendables 3 and Knight of Cups) has been exiled by the sultan to be an "ambassador" of good will and to report back his findings of a distant land. Stopping for a restock of supplies at a village port, there is much debate of a kingdom under seige from monsters that come in the night and slay their most able men. They cry out for warriors attended to give the battle back to these monsters. Among these men a staggering man of 6' 5", great warrior and chieftain's son Buliwf (Vladimir Kulich of Highlander, Necronomicon, Red Scorpion 2, Ground Zero, Silence, Angel, Ironclad, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Vikings and The Equalizer) offers his skills and blade. An ancient seer tosses her runes to see the future and proceeds to tell each man they will join Buliwf on this sacred aid for mercy including Ahmed.

Sail Away!!!

Connecting with these barbaric men, Ahmed attempts to not only understand their language but be able to speak it as well. Herger (Dennis Storhoi of Mot i brostet, Vestavind, Eva's Eye, The Longest Journey, Captain Sabertooth, Ved kongens bord, Shameless and Two Lives) becomes Ahmed's constant companion and guide to this land and its people that Ahmed has never known the like.

Chaaaaarge!!!

The village is almost all but destroyed, no defensive walls, men at posts or even proper archery stands. With his health failing King Hrothgar (Sven Wollter of Sally, A Song for Martin, False Accusation, Birthmarked, Kira's Reason: A Love Story, Suxxess, Dieselrattor och sjonmasmoss and Molly in the World) speaks of these unholy beasts that sneak in the middle of the night, rousing no one from their slumber and proceed to lop the heads off their opponents...and take them with them. They simply are known as The Eaters of the Dead. Eerie I know but what can you do? Oh right, mount up a war party to dispatch these beasts. The party must use every ounce of their skills and tenacity to stomach bringing these monsters down. Can Ahmed become a warrior? Will these Norsemen battle to the last man? Can anything be done to save the land and its people?

A few points of interest and my lack of observation. I either forgot or was just now brought to the light that Queen Weilew (Diane Venora of The Cotton Club, A.D., F/X, Bird, Thunder Alley, Chicago Hope, Heat, Romeo + Juliet, The Jackal, The Insider and Hamlet) seemed like such a pillar of the people I had either no idea she was of royalty or simply did not register. May have something to do with that fop of a son of hers. I think I would have beheaded the little puke.

Composer Jerry Goldsmith (The Waltons, Outland, The Secret of NIMH, Supergirl, Rambo III, Star Trek V: Final Frontier, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Congo, Mulan and Star Trek: Insurrection) breathes life into every scene with the amazing job. One of the Viking ships used in the movie is currently residing in the EPCOT center at Disney World where it's part of a playground for kids now. Avast!!

So the traditional burning of the town virgin is a real crowd pleaser then?