Howdy girls and boys!!! Welcome back and boy did I come up with some silly for this week. After being a loyal fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and also reviewing movies for Epinions.com for a couple of years; I noticed a constant in the realm of B grade films marketing. The need to alter the title numerous times throughout the regions. For some, this is a means to improve the sales. For others it is a simple factor that the original title does not translate well from language to language.
Sir, my suit is chaffing.
Personally, I think it is to drive critics completely crackers so they don't know what flick they are actually seeing. Thus inspired is the theme of the week. So sit back, relax and I hope you get a kick out of Alternative Title Week.
Howdy all. Today I
have chosen Amando de Ossorio as the subject of the week. With the mass level of Spanish and European
Horror films making a huge surge, Ossorio wanted to stem away from films like: Santo E”La Vengaza De La Momia, The Lepers
and Sex, Mission Sabotage and of course the uprising continuation of the
Hammer Films of this time like Dracula ’72, The Karnstein Trilogy know as: The
Vampire Lovers, Lust for a Vampire and Twins of Evil. Ossorio knew the mainstream was changing and
more violence, an increase in gore and nudity was on the horizon past the exploitation
films. That did not mean that story had
to be sacrificed in the process. The
basis of the Blind Dead series is around the ghost stories he heard as a boy. So huddle in around the burning pit, and
make sure your charcoal filtered mask is working. This is La Noche del terror ciego.
Even spoilers need subtitles… (Incluso spoilers necesita
subtÃtulos)
With capturing the legends of the
Knights Templar a order of the Crusade that was said to be annihilated for
performing the black arts of witch craft, Ossorio spins the tales of perhaps
those very wealthy and pagan men did receive the immortality promised to them
all those centuries ago.
But enough of that, pool party! Bikinis and more body hair than Ron Jeremy
and John Holmes combined and yes everyone disco dancing. Our story opens with a young couple on
vacation running into an old friend from school. Virginia (Maria Elena Arpon of The House
That Screamed, Crimen imperfect, Black Story and El Cristo del Oceano)
recognizes her dear friend Betty (Lone Fleming of Bad Man’s River, In Happened
at Nightmare Inn, Where Time Began and Return of the Evil Dead) and the
two proceed to catch up. They speak on
about their lives, work and any budding romances, when Roger (Cesar
Burner of The Man Called Noon, Green Inferno and Last Chance), Virginia’s
boyfriend pulls himself out of the pool in a suave yet smarmy manner. Virginia tells Betty of Roger and her
impeding trip into the country. Free from
the hustle and bustle of society and just enjoying the relaxation that the
country provides. Betty is hesitant to
join as she is unattached and Roger assures her she will find a man willing and
with this they are scheduled to meet up at the train promptly at 4.
A few odd notes and it will be right back to our
gripping story line. To cash in on the
popularity , foreign distribution want re-cut and released La Noche del terror
ciego with the alternative title Revenge from the Planet Ape in some half assed
effort to capitalize on the success of the Planet of the Apes films. With a new prologue attempting to link the
two stories together, this story makes ape prisoners whom been tortured and
maimed, vow to return from the dead to seek bloody retribution on mankind and avenge
themselves against man’s injustice and tyranny in the hopes of saving the
planet.
Back to our flick in process, our couple is met back
up with Betty who couldn’t snare a fella but Roger insists she join them all
the same. Virginia seems to be quietly
seething and is of the mindset Roger is looking for a little action on Betty’s
behalf. And with a bit of stomping out
and a rather nice dissolve when find out in a flashback that Virginia and Betty
were…close one might say and sorry fellas the shots are actually tender (minus
the organ music) and feel innocent.
Roger now hip to what is going on, Virginia settles on the brilliant idea
of leaving the train at the only port of call being some old ruins and no
civilization to be seen.
GENIUS!!! Roger and Betty
discover this temper tantrum; jump the train in the hopes of finding her. After trekking a bit in the ruins clearly it
is time to camp in the very…eerie ruins that is not even on a current map. Now
before this sounds cranky this is only in the first 12 minutes.
Finally, the legion of Spamelot rise and it is clear
they are not big on trespassers. I had
the hardest time not snickering as the burial crosses starting to shift in the
loose soil. No no, that’s not Styrofoam, that is clear a marble and granite
found in the area and just appears as though wind could push it about. And
what brings back the dead you may ask? Why those pesky kids with their smooth
FM Jazz and their filthy cigarettes. Given
their complete lack of peepers it is said that the Blind Dead must hunt by
sound and sound alone. Don’t…make…noise.
The handheld, tripod based and steady cam work has
been amazing. I admit I was drooling a
bit over the ladies but as characters boy they needed name tags establishing:
Born to be disemboweled. The tone of the
movie is captured well by lighting and various fog and smoke effects. Exterior shots
as well as a few day for night did not sway me from finishing this. I gather what the overall effect was to be
from this film in telling a ghost story that shook our writer/director’s very
being but the limited budget must have been utter hell for Ossorio and
personally I would have loved to see the knights’ mounts mostly skeletal with
bit of fur and meat draped haphazardly.
Ah well. What could have been.
