Hiya campers! I have returned after the FUBAR that was my computer issue of which is both good and bad news. Good news is I was able to re-cable my old computer back to working order. Yeah I know, how did I have an issue with that? Well truth is, I have not done any computer work and upgrades in 12 years so behind the curve and forgot a fair amount on the internal dynamics that is a computer tower.
Bad news I kept screwing up my cabling in my new tower so I had to ask my Dad to do it. Yeah I felt like Franklin Richards playing with one of Reed's new inventions, got busted and he had to bail me out. ( Fantastic Four reference so read some comics, people) Turns out I just misunderstood a connection I should have been doing and Dad got it up and running no sweat. Apparently it needs a new hard drive though. Damn, Dad was raised in the right age to work tools better than I.
HONEY, WE JUST NEED SOME COUNCILING!!!
But enough of all that jibber jabber, you folks have Valentine's day around the corner. A time when some men are convinced lingerie and chocolates make up for you being a total knob around the rest of the year. It doesn't, fellas. This overly commercialized holiday makes single men and women feel like they are worth less than nothing if they haven't received a card or some much as an e-mail and I will not stand for it. So this week we will focus relationships that have gone south. No, no romantic comedies and see whether or not they will iron out their wacky indiffernces. I was thinking more a horror themed Valentines so grab your comfort food, lock the doors from impending psychos and grab at least one sharp utensil in case they burst through the door.
Well teen gang we sure have had a swell time this week with
the sexist, homophobic and misconceptions but we gotta end it all on a good
note so I thought we would take another look from the folks over at Coronet
Instructional Films and see if they didn’t have something nifty for us. So take a hot shower, make sure to wash
behind your ears and comb your hair deep into your skull. This is How to Be Well Groomed.
Hmm, what would Joan Crawford wear?
Don: Joe called and
said he would be a little spoiler. Sayyy, do you look smooth!
This is the story of a brother and sister named Don and
Sue. Both work very hard in school and
have afternoon jobs as well as chores around the house that gives them a little
extra pocket change. Yessir these balls
of fire are headed out on a double date at the motion pictures when an
inquisitive narrator wonders, “Say how did those kids ever learn to be so well
groomed?” Golly that was my first
thought as well. Followed by how do
these kids get along that well and why are they so concerned about each other’s
grooming habits? Now throughout the short
is a shared narrative of an ethereal voice of both a man and a woman. Guess they didn’t want to snub either sex but
frankly if I were one of those kids I would have called the local priest to
perform an exorcism on the house for good measure.
Don prepares his garments of shame.
With health, posture,
cleanliness and neatness comes good grooming and great overall appearance. Why with this ability no one will ever know
about Don’s collection of severed animal heads he buried under the loose soil
by his bedroom window. Oops, that was
the joke I made while watching this educational short. The kids go on to do each other favors such
as Sue hemming a sleeve and re-attaching a button on Don’s sweater vest and Don
in return polishes Sue’s shoes as well as his own.
It kind of gave me the creeps. They didn’t even squabble over chores or who
was hogging the bathroom. Most of Don’s
outfits should be burned. I am glad this film is in black and white because
some of his shirts would damage retinas up close.
Don, stop borrowing my angora sweater.
I have just a few comments about this short. The grooming and cleansing habits are
actually sound minus the terrible face drying soap they both kept using. I just envision them scaly during their dates
and have to explain why they are resemble the lizard creatures from V. The level of detail on how much Don had to
prep and yet no mentioning to Sue that she will have to shave her legs and
under her arms? Was this a practice that
was skipped in 1953 and if so how did these girls get a date? I was not insisting that I get a detailed
fog resistant cam show of said shower but the narrator didn’t even cover that
to cleanliness.
Well folks that is all for PSA Week and remember to keep
throwing out suggestions, compliments or complaints to the write ups.
Hey kids I am back and welcome to Day 4 of PSA Week. We sure have covered a lot of topics stemming
mostly from ignorance so why not have something supercilious crammed down our
throats as the adult “get real” with the youngsters? I am sure if we follow these helpful hints
and tips they will enrich our lives and fulfill our hopes and dreams. Or it will be incredibly Norman Rockwell and
I will see some folks whiter than most vampires from Twilight and just about as
hip too. So grab your poodle skirts,
have Mom sew on that letter for your jacket and do gosh darn well at
debate. This is How to Say No.
Just say no to plaid, kids.
“How to say no, that’s
tricky one to spoiler, but with practice and confidence you can push on ahead.”
Those happenin’ cats from Coronet Instructional Films are at it again babies and don’t you
forget it. Why, these are the fine
people that brought us such illustrious titles like: Joan Avoids a Cold, Good
Table Manners, Dating: Do’s and Don’ts
and my personal favorite, Communism. Most of these educational shorts try to give
ideas or hints how to better behave in polite society, fend off booze and drugs
or just be a good little Capitalist.
Occasionally with this film as an example, they did offer some advice
but it was all in the delivery that the message is going to be sneered at. We have a gathering of kids (All white, of
course) that deal with peer pressure from being one of the ball players, the
boy looking for second base and (Gasp!) smoking.
No Johnny, not a hickey!
Such events will occur in a teenager’s life but the open
debate format seems a bit hokey in this light.
The message is being able to say no in any situation that makes you feel
uncomfortable and not to your liking. That
importance we can take away from this short is the message is clear but I was
thinking some self-defense for girls, maybe show the boys to be more respectful
to the girls via sensitivity talks and frankly it felt awkward to watch. I found myself making too many jokes while
watching it but I think that is because of the apple pie and baseball days of
Leave It to Beaver land.
The discussion goes around this particular clique of the
elite kids so you don’t get a feeling about the nerdy guy that got shoved in
his locker yet again or the slightly ugly girl that gets hazed every day. These
feasible scenarios are just completely overlooked and not even mentioned one
bit. They vaguely cover how to avoid
that heavy petting with changing the subject or mentioning the latest gossip
and I felt myself snickering yet again.
Why not a card trick or the ball in the cup trick for a
distraction?
Car handles better after 12 beers, am I right, fellas?
The lack of realism in this
film I guess was to not frighten the young ones watching this short but dammit
all if this didn’t need to be more plausible and give them facts. A real
mentorship would have been better for them or establish a peer to talk to.
Welcome back sports fans and let us assume that the next PSA
has more than its fair share of insulting demeanor not unlike the previous
films of insulting our intelligence in thermal dynamics as well as the
difference between a gay man and a pedophile.
So why not insult the opposing gender next? Yes ladies this next PSA is all about bashing
those dainty little flowers that have the audacity to serve in the work force. So put on your hard hats girls, remember to
lift with your knees and for gosh sakes don’t break a nail. This is Danger- Women at Work.
Well these potatoes don't peel themselve, young man.
They’re women. I need
hard working spoilers on this site not more women.
Not to be confused with the rather enjoyable Sam Newfield
dramatic comedy with a zany three women moving team with a long haul truck; this
particular public service announcement was created during the height of WWII
and depicts the dangers allowing women more freedoms out of the kitchen and
household doing a man’s hard day’s work.
With the complete misogynistic mentality of this PSA I had the hardest
time watching this without getting snarly.
With the lady narrative women have to be shown that work clothes and not
dresses are the order of the day. Yes because
what woman would understand about snagging clothes in a machine or that long
free flowing hair may get caught in a door or possibly hooked on heavy
equipment.
Oh dear, I spot welded my coffee cup again.
Women stepping in to
do a man’s job and becoming self-reliant and understanding of safety rules is
just as important as producing service and merchandise. Most
of the short is showing different walks of life trying to fit in and pushing to
get goods and services out for the country to get back on its feet. Remember this is just getting over the
Depression era. It goes on to state
that the ladies from simple farm towns and households have never known such
hard work in their lives but gosh these gals give it their all.
Well ma'am this is my unit you will handling. Heh.
That being said the theme of this PSA is condescending and
patronizing how women are slow to obtain skills and talents. Seriously it was painful to hear this
bile. I honestly waited for someone to start
ruffling their collective hair and offering a treat for following
instructions. It went further on to
warn the Axis how these girls have their fellas’ backs with bullets and bombs
at the ready and we don’t know if they are quite up to snuff.
And now I have just a few technical issues with this film. The camera work was shimming like a hula
dancer during a Hawaiian luau event. I
think any photophobic might have some issues watching it from that alone if the
material shouldn’t disgust them to great levels. Ladies
I have to say if you feel inclined to watching this that frankly I found this
to be more sexist than a beer commercial ad.
That being said I have given fair warning.
For you fellas giving this a gander, you will
see a frame of mind that maybe your great-uncles or grandfathers may behave but
most likely nothing to this level given having been in a relationship long
enough to share emotions and feelings.
The men that wrote this scandalous pile of excrement have never
respected a woman’s opinion let alone bothered with acknowledging women having
one worth noting.
Welcome back boys and girls and what say we dive right in
with the horribly misnomers and misguided ideals in the warnings of pedophilia
with the confusion of homosexuality. What’s
that? You are both shocked and appalled
that someone let alone a gathering of people could make such a blunder? Well baby you ain’t read nothing yet. So hike out your thumb, look nonthreatening
and be alert. This is Boys Beware.
Yikes Jimmy has Unfortunate Face Syndrome
Whoa ho ho there
Johnny. That spoiler seems to be up to
something.
Created and produced though the Sid Davis Productions, you
know the fellow that also brought us the disturbing titles such as: The
Dangerous Stranger, Girls Beware, Seduction of the Innocent and Too Tough to
Care. In most of these incidental
shorts they do send a message that could put kids on the alert of that random
stranger or maybe smoking as a child is not a smart idea but for our fun filled
title card of Boys Beware old Sid didn’t bother to get his facts straight.
Jeepers mister, where's my candy bar?
Little Jimmy didn’t know about that Ralph was sick. Y’see Ralph is a homosexual. Okay
already I was cringing at this short but mustered through with it. Apparently in the 1950’s equating homosexual
men and child molesters was a common practice of profiling. One that need be stricken from the record as
NOT HOW TO HANDLE THESE SCENARIOS!!! At
10 minutes and 13 seconds this horrible message points out how to avoid these
men from their hairstyles and apparel. Yes kids all gay men have this Ron Jeremy and
John Holmes mustache as well sunglasses and bow ties. Also if they have a TARDIS stay away as
well.
'Bout time for Hee Haw then the torture dungeon, Johnny.
Throughout the entire film being gay is depicted as a mental
illness and I am stunned they didn’t point out how turning to Jesus would have
set them on the right path. Due to their
minuscule budget you can see the same car in almost every scenario of which
there are three. I guess they couldn’t
even borrow another vehicle for a few shots.
With the cooperation of Inglewood
California Police Department and the Inglewood Unified School District this
piece of tripe was created. I just love
how the conclusion that gay men are somehow inherently dangers to young boys
and our little victim Jimmy claims he was taken to a hotel by one fellow was
later arrested and then stuck on probation.
All this said to me was every kid that didn't want to do his schoolwork
could easily blame his teacher for the same effect and sully the poor man’s name.
For those of you who are easily offended at this completely
tapered view on anything deemed out of what is quote “Normal”, I would point
out that simple studies illustrate that 75% of all pedophiles are straight Caucasian
males. Hmm missed that study did you,
Sid? As a straight male I was disgusted
at this grossly inaccurate portrayal and blatant hate video. The irony is the one predator that looked genuinely
creepy cruising for young boys was our producer Sid Davis himself.
Well son, I was raised Catholic so hence my attraction to boys.
Well hey there teen gang and welcome to the first round of
Public Service Announcement Week or PSA for short. Say let’s start this motif
off right with bit of public safety. Here
are a few dos and don’ts on dealing a thermal baric atomic explosion to bring
Americans to a safety conscious awareness.
So duck in the basement; get
under your desk or just cover eyes from the blast. This is Duck and Cover.
Jeepers Mom, we left Sparky outside during the blast.
Well we don’t all have
a spoiler like Bert the turtle that we can duck and cover in.
Let us journey back to a time a large gas guzzling all metal
vehicles, no real safety belts and a Norman Rockwell view of society. The
atomic scare is under way due to the rampant spread of Communism and the threat
of a high yield explosion that if the sheer concussive force didn’t snap your
bones and liquefy your organs, then the concentrated thermonuclear explosion
would atomize you where you stand, sit or play. Rather than be open and honest with the
masses the United States National Civil Defense felt a lofty and delightful
cartoon describing the unbridled terror of having your flesh fried from your
body.
Bert the Turtle is passing the buck on his misinformation.
Commissioned for the National Education Association in 1951,
this iconic character Bert the turtle did not wolf down pizza, beat up ninjas
or tell you how things were bodacious but in fact taught you what to do in the
event of a nuclear blast. The need to
keep calm, keep cool and just let the atomic flames wash over you like a gentle
breeze was the appeal apparently. You
are to walk safely and in even files while getting into a basement or shelter
that could hold maybe 500 people uncomfortable.
Hiding under a metal desk was also an acceptable barrier to mass levels
of shockwaves of pressure and thermo baric pressure and flames generating heat
to the magnitude of 1102 degrees Fahrenheit.
I am no rocket scientist but I dare say the
levels of lead paint in a house would not shrug off the radiation of these
levels.
Here a few fun facts of the hypocrisy of this “educational”
film. While covering the devastation of
the initial explosion of an atomic warhead how the concussion force works, they
seem to have skipped the 7.5 mile radius spread of extreme heat that would make
3rd degree burns seem like a day at the beach without sunscreen. Not
mention the sheer demolition and defoliation of that area in wide spread
disaster. Not even counting the vast
levels of radiation that are omitted around every living thing in the area and
taking in account for winds to spread this havoc ensued causing that region of
land to be ruined for 80 to 100 years plus.
Oh good golly this floor needs scrubbing.
Funny, how none of these computations were taken in and handed out to
the American households. So the next
time you look to the skies and notice a bright flash, your retinas are not
completely burned out. You too will duck
and cover.
This week we tackle a ridiculous conundrum that swept the nation since the 1950's. I am speaking of the Public Service Announcement. Speaking of dangers such as what to do on a date, Atomic War, the worries of homosexuality and of course the trouble with women. These simple issues are horribly construed and misinterpreted on how to best deal with this trouble scenarios.
Bert enjoys a flower before...the commies win.
With the government standing to keep people safe and free of harm the influences are clearly examples of the creation of the Moral Majority, McCarthyism and general close mindedness that leads to the belief how a girl dresses is the cause for her be raped. HUH?!!!! So feel free to enjoy this total lack of tolerance and by all means poke fun at this anal retention.
