Savage Titles: Savage Vengeance

Savage Titles return for Day 3 and boy I am regretting this decision for the week but here it goes. An American slasher/rape revenge story brought to us by director Donald Farmer (Demon Queen, Cannibal Hookers, Vampire Cop. Red Lips, Chainsaw Cheerleaders and Hi-8 Horror Independent 8) so feel free to cringe, slink away and hide under the bed. This film is deemed the official unofficial sequel to the controversial 1978 rape revenge film I Spit on Your Grave and well it is...kinda. This is Savage Vengeance.

Night Ranger on the prowl!

Shocking enough is how many alternative titles are under this festering pile of reindeer droppings. Fifteen years after the original film our movie stars the original girl Camille Keaton under the pseudonym Vickie Kehl and because of legal rights issues none of the footage from I Spit on Your Grave could be used but that's okay... we still got the actress so let's just create new footage for the flashbacks. We return with Jennifer (Camille Keaton of Sex of the Witch, I Spit on Your Grave, No Justice, Holy Hollywood, and The Lords of Salem) for a lengthy driving sequence as she oddly enough goes into the woods with a book to relax and enjoy herself only to get gang raped. Now it is at this point you could argue, say lady don't remember this happening last time? But again we are dealing with an unofficial sequel based on the bad dubbing as Jennifer seems poorly inserted for dialogue. Almost like the director didn't count on getting Camille Keaton for the film.

Elvis has a splitting headache.

So four guys jump in the woods and leave her for dead. Hmm seems a bit similar. 5 years later she is not charged with all the murders of her rapists and so she gets into law school.   She goes to a very similar woodland setting with her friend Sam (Linda Lyer of Savage Vengeance) and I am sorry but if this very traumatic event happened to me, I would be nowhere near the woods. In fact I would probably vacation with hired ex-military recon fully armed.

The main scumbags are known as Tommy (played by director Donald Farmer) and Dwayne (Phil Newman of Desperate Teenage Lovedolls, Vampire Cop, Savage Vengeance and Growing Hair)and there are most definitely not to be trusted. Tommy and Dwayne kill Sam outright and yup you guessed it, jumps Jennifer and leave her for dead. Yeah this repetition can't make for a dull viewing pleasure, can it?  Jennifer pulls herself back from the near grave and it is at this point where I am nominating her for supernatural powers. The good ole boy sheriff drags his feet and might as well be playing beer pong with his deputies as he isn't any closer to making headway into this case. This clown couldn't finish a case of beer. The boys treat themselves for a night on the town as they go and get blotted after a job well done... if that could be ever considered a job.

Will Jennifer get her revenge...again? Will these slimeballs get their reward in Hell?

What did I learn from this movie?

Well shooting on VHS in the woods with day for night lighting looks crappy on any format. The re-format to 35 mm does not help this POS VHS abomination.   The movie doesn't look really finished and only clocks in at an hour and 5 minutes but brother does it drag on. So much padding was needed because Camille Keaton walked off the set of this unoriginal garbage so the ending is very abrupt.

Filmed in '88 but Farmer apparently could not get a release date to video until '93. Yeah your film is so bad that five years have to pass before we can think of subjecting this on the public. Well not surprised this was a turd but what can you expect on a film shot on VHS then translated to 35 mm? 

Find me a good one of those.

Elvis, I see a sad future for you.

Savage Titles: Savage County

A fine greetings and hello for Day 2 of Savage Titles. While yesterday was an actual enjoyable women in prison film that did not have large amounts of nudity, lesbian undertones and torture...I know I have just irked a good chunk of my male readers but fellas, really it was fun but this time around we seem to have a gen-y horror movie made in 2010. Yeah I am riveted at this dialogue but I am sticking around for the cinematography. With the stereotypical redneck yokel mongoloid looking men and women hot on these teens' trail for something or the other. This is Savage County.

Well this is the worst Cracker Barrel I have ever been to.

Filmed in Memphis Tennessee, a major party for the kids prior finals is in full swing as a happening. Film geek Patrick (Doug Haley of Van Nuys, Good Luck Charlie, Born to Race, The Intern, Man Up and The Spectacular Now) is prepping a party and a road trip extravaganza. Valedictorian Izzy (Ana Ayora of Marley & Me, Phoenix Falling, The Big Wedding, Chop Shop, Redeemed and Banshee) and her doof, buff and self-centered Class President boyfriend Colby (Ken Luckey of The Legend of Hell's Gate: An American Conspiracy, True Blood, L.A. Noir, Mad Men, 6 Bullets to Hell and Happily Ever After) are grumbling with one another because Izzy isn't putting out enough for Colby's taste I guess. Captain of the Football team Noah (Sinqua Walls of Teen Wolf, Believe Me, Power and Once Upon a Time) and girlfriend Prom queen Caitlyn (Rebekah Graf of 90210, My Roommate Sam, Bro', Killer Reality, and Talbot County) is iffy on both the party and the road trip but Patrick is a good egg. Caitlyn drops the bombshell that she is grounded and remains on her vlog podcast/djing to interact with fans.

Find the dimmest bulb in the room.  Hint, it's not the light bulb.

Megan is a slight bad girl with no direction (Mimi Michaels of Hip-Hop Headstrong, Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2, Castle, Chosen, 666 Park Avenue, BioShock Infinite, Dope and Quantum Break) with her drug dealing boyfriend that is older than her, Mike (Ryan Carter of Omg/HaHaHa, A Disjointed Proposal, Savage County and First Impressions) are hitting this party...probably to bone in one of the bedrooms. Patrick tries to bond with everything. Our film interspersed past and present with psychos torments their victims.

The kids head out to their road trip and our gang tease Patrick about his scaredy cat ways. To prove them wrong he decides to take the dare of the knock and run on the most dilapidated house they could find. Seriously, if I was in a car accident, leg broken and bleeding out, I still would not have crawled to this rusted out farm equipment front lawn filled crap house. Izzy throwing up constantly hinting to early days of pregnancy as they are off to the swimming hole for drinking and debauchery. A prank pushing the goth girl Angie (Ivy Mclemore of Cigarette Girl, Savage County and B.F.E.) into said swimming hole and she stomps off.   The rest of the gang go to craphole house and anger the creeper old man with a shotgun. Noah hits on the idea to crack him across the melon with a shovel and of course this is the MaGuffin that sets everything else into motion.

Old Man Hardell's family find dead Grampy and seek revenge in the bloodiest way possible. Yeah with slow-mo shots handheld and their goofy masks it is clear that none of these boys are tightly wrapped and start to hunt the kids down.

How many will feel the icy hand of Death?? Can they survive this encounter? Will Jake give a crap?

To be fair the film is acted well and the production isn't bad, it is just predictable and more gory than the 70s Grindhouse Drive-In flicks. Foreseen futures no matter how brief they may be is tedious and drawn out. Not that they have that finite a cast, I think they were attempting suspense. With a degree of night vision, grainy shots and fast edits it could be considered creepy.

Calculable stories and repetitive results annoy me to no end and I was very bored.

Voted: Most likely to die squealing like a pig.

Savage Titles: Savage Sisters

Howdy all and welcome to Day 1 of Savage Titles. As I previously mentioned, the word savage does seem to crop up in quite a few exploitation movies and one of the titles is just that and not just any exploitation film but a women in prison film. Oh yes you know the week is off to a good start when you have Sid Haig making an appearance. So imagine a general being more of a war lord scheming to handle ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!.. out of his region and put in an off-shore bank account I imagine. Well not if Gloria Hendry has anything to say about it. This is Savage Sisters.

My man Rob Zombie can hook you up with a role!

Oh we are in safe hands with director Eddie Romero (The Ravagers, The Passionate Strangers, Brides of Blood, Black Mama White Mama, Beyond Atlantis and Teach Me to Love) as he tells us the slightly risque, possibly tawdry tale of women in prison, revolutionaries and General Balthazar (Leopoldo Salcedo of One More Chance, Bandolera, Vivian Volta, Happy Days Are Here Again, Burlesk Queen and Blood Run) needs to move on an armed caravan full of money and forms a very uneasy alliance with less than trustworthy Malavasi (Sid Haig of The Big Bird Cage, Black Mama White Mama, Coffy, Foxy Brown, Jackie Brown, House of 1000 Corpses, House of the Dead 2, The Devil's Rejects and Halloween) and his one-eyed willie er..um...I mean sidekick One Eye (Vic Diaz of Revenge of the Street Warrior, Crackdown, Strike Commando 2, Blackbelt II, Bloodfist, Fortunes of War and Caged Heat II: Stripped of Freedom) plan to execute the idea of the snatch and grab only to double cross the revolutionaries and keep that cool million for themselves. Meanwhile revolutionaries Jo Turner (Cheri Caffaro of Ginger, The Abductors, Girls Are for Loving, Too Hot to Handle and Extreme Ghostbusters) and Mai Ling (Rosanna Ortiz of Roulette, Bank Robbers, The Young Idols, Panic!, Savage!, El negro and Ransom) committed to the cause get captured before they can hook up with their comrades and are hoisted off to the prison.

Ernesto, I feel a round of exposition coming up.

Refusing to give up their male counterparts, the ladies have been given to Lynn (Gloria Hendry of Hell Up in Harlem, Live and Let Die,Black Caesar, Black Belt Jones, Seeds of Tragedy, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings and Lookin' Italian) Sgt. Jackson if you're nasty, to get the info out of them. Captain Morales (Eddie Garcia of Dirty Games, Free to Love, Kamlon, Get My Son Dead or Live, Malisya and Life Begins at 40) knows Jackson will get the girls to talk and he is well on the way to his promotion...little sidenote, his female colonel got a little BDSM on him, lashed him and treated like her sex puppet. Really wasn't expecting that.

Ms. Jackson, we need you to go undercover as a college girl nympho.

Jackson tells the girls to co-operate or they get rough. Like the power drill dildo... Yes I didn't make that up. We saw electrodes, clamps and no safety word in sight. Baltazar arrives at the prison with the remains of the revolutionaries and the banditos they worked with are still at large with the million. With the men dead on the ground, the girls' hearts sink but remain adamant. Jackson almost admires the girls' convictions but she has a job to do.

Billingsly (John Ashley of Hud, Beast of the Yellow Night, Apocalypse Now and The A-Team) a hustler for hire and fixer nearly is shot by Malavasi after showing off his stolen million and he also happens to be an on again and off again lover of Jackson's who tells her the girls might know how to get to Haig and the money. Billingsly sporting his Ron Jeremy mustache and groovin' pimp clothes leads the prison break, scoops up the girls and hightails it out of there not before they smoked close to 20 men. Will they get the money? Will Malavasi will get his just desserts?

Clearly not one for the kids, one of the first films having three female protagonists that can actually kick ass, take names and use men like Kleenex. I was expecting hosing down, torture and the like but we are actually spared all that and have a decent story, mild nudity and some screwy gunfights.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT MAN??!!!

Savage Titles

Welcome back everyone that is still reading this blog. I compliment you on your unique tastes. I was on IMDB recently. Internet Movie Database for those that do not inhabit as often as I. I noticed the repetition of many things. For horror sequels, The Final Chapter is very common and never truly seems to end the franchise in question. The word fine is popular for most romantic comedies and the word savage seems to bounce back and forth for many a genre.

Exploitation pays the bills, baby.

After giving do this oddity, I proceeded to research a myriad of titles ranging from exploitation such as Women in Prison films, Horror and even some Sci-fi. What is the appeal of the word "savage"? Not sure but I am bound and determined to find out and that brings us to the topic of the week. Selecting different titles and having no knowledge of each film so they could be gems or absolute turds. So business as usual.

I invite you to read of my viewing pleasure and/or suffering and maybe, just maybe, we will find some entertainment ahead. At the very least we may have films in need of riffing, which also fun.

Welcome to Savage Titles!!! 

Sci-fi get silly? Preposterous!

Sequel Rebound: Troll 2

Day 4 of Sequels Rebound is here! Yes we have reached the end of week avoiding pitfalls cliches, tropes and other such writing minutia. We struggle through the sequel in name only variety again as the previous movie was not only in my opinion, not deemed worthy of continuing let alone should have been released to the public for mental safety issues it could create. The brain trusts at Filmirage Productions via Italy felt that writer/director Claudio Fragasso (Strike Commando, Robowar, Zombi 3, Shocking Dark a.k.a. Bruno Mattei's Terminator 2) whose English is broken, takes an Italian film crew to the land of Utah and... makes a PG-13 Horror movie? This is Troll 2.

Not an uncommon site in the woods..a chesty brunette heading to Grandma's house, no doubt.

Grandfather Seth is telling young Josh Waits (Michael Stephenson of Beyond Darkness, The Bulkin Trail, The Paper Brigade and Before He Wakes) the tale of the ancient goblins that once roamed the lands, tricking the innocent into trusting them and devouring them whole. Josh and sister Holly (Connie Young, The Singles Yard, Sons of Provo and Heaven's Door) journey with their parents to the far away town of Nilbog. A farming community that seems to be only inhabited by the people of Torgo and the Creeper as they leave their home for a month and exchange with a local family in Nilbog. Grandpa keeps explaining to Josh that the Goblins want to destroy the family. Grandpa may also inform his daughter, Josh and Holly's mother that he can communicate from beyond the grave.

To keep his family for getting ill or turning into desirable goblin chow, Josh apparently pees on dinner. No he didn't whine and complain about the dishes of the day, he literally whizzes on dinner. The parents took it well. These are the only parents that didn't take a strip off his ass.

Hey audience, is there anything up my nose?

Grandpa keeps warning Josh to convince his parents to leave Nilbog but not ever manifesting in front the boy's parents so he would stop getting yelled at. Holly's pseudo boyfriend Elliott (Jason Wright of Troll 2 and Fields of Gold) travels with his fellow virginal RPG and comic book loving nerds in search for hot girls, ready and available. Yeah so you can see where their heads are at...spoilers it is in their asses.

Josh comes to the startling revelation that Nilbog is Goblin spelled backwards which means the band Goblyn hides out in Utah without interruption or fear of being spotted by Bruno Mattei fans. The whole town is comprised of vegetarian farmers that look like rejects from Cabin Fever or Texas Chainsaw Massacre and just give you the Heebie Jeebies. The people give the term creeper a whole new spin on odd. Their body language is more standoffish than normal, they make disturbing leering expressions and overly annunciate everything they say. Will Josh save his half-wit from the non-trolls? Is everyone in Nilbog completely mental? Will Papa Waits stop saying hospitality???

Referred as the one of the worst film of all time, in 2009, Joshua all grown up provides us with a documentary on the making of Troll 2, the impact the film has had on the cult following and how anyone got any enjoyment out of it. From a technical aspect the film is done well enough,from blocking a scene, lightning, sounds and orchestral. With a projected budget of $200,000, cast and crew had their translation issues given that actors were asked to pronounce every word they said phonetically and without the proper inflections. From an movie viewer's perspective, it drags on, the goblin costumes look absurd and THERE ARE NO TROLLS!!!! Would appreciate less stares directly at the camera though. It is relatively harmless and just plain goofy. 

I say we draw and quarter him, fellas!

Sequels Rebound: Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp

Welcome back gang for Day 3 Sequels Rebound and we moved out of later 80s and early 90s to 2003 for a delightful romp of Summer Camp goodness to arrange campers to repair and maintain the camp but what could ever happen? With the isolation, next to no human contact what is the likelihood that Tracy (Katy Woodruff of Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp,The Gallows Tree) having nightmares of her lost brother warning her of the camp. This is Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp.

Cupid's got a chainsaw in: Heartache in the Cross Sections!!!

Placid Pines camp is open for business in spite of the horrors of the previous film...er I mean incidents surrounding the years as the kids are 3 days away from closing up when strange yet familiar happenings occur. The kids tell the tell of Trevor Moorhouse...insert Jason Vorhees tragedy with let's make Jason a tattle tale and disfigured and all that jazz and now Trevor roams the woods seeking revenge for how he was wronged.  Rick, the caretaker (Arthur Benjamin of Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp) is almost done getting the place ship shape and closed for the season. He has his problem children and horn dogs but overall no issues but his new hire has left suddenly...almost like he was brutally murdered with a machete and rock.

Sheriff Bumbles (John Colton of Van Wilder: Party Liasion, The Day After Tomorrow, The Invasion and Soldiers) informs the kids that it is probably a prank but he will leave one of his deputies to co-ordinate and look around in case of trouble. Two of the camp have left due to the urban legend of Moorhouse and stereotypical superstitious Juanita (Virginia Medoza of Bloody Murder 2:Closing Camp) has done the sacred time honored tradition of Crazy Ralph warning to no avail.

Elvis, what does token mean?

With the cliches and tropes mounting up with have sensitive guy that can't get laid by the good girl who has issues of loss of sibling so he prowls around to girl with loose morals. The Sheriff is handling a few of the murders that already happened and not really busting his ass to solve this plight. With lock down of the camp with the Sheriff and his whole two deputies I don't see anything wrong in the foreseeable future. With exception of poor Elvis (Raymond Novarro Smith of Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp, How Did You Feel?) getting stabbed and splattered across the walls.

All evidence points to Tracy's boyfriend Mike (Kelly Gunning of Undressed, Unsolved Mysteries, Leela and Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp) on that tight camera feed Elvis set up and it looks bad for Mike. Is the curse of Trevor Moorhouse a myth??? Where they mythstaken?? Is it Myth or Mister?

A few side-notes on the film now.

The flashback sequences are all hand held, and steady hands I might add. Using one camera for blocking with a decent orchestral soundtrack with some practical effects in different gore gags. Of our cast, the only person I recognize is Tiffany Shepis (Nightmare Man,Thristy, Blood Oath, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula and The Maladjusted) playing tough girl with feelings yet again but still a fun addition. So this film is vastly superior to the original but loaded with slasher cliché goodness that we all hold dear.

The safety word is pickles.  Because Pickles is a big boy.

Sequels Rebound: Slumber Party Massacre III

Welcome back for Day 2 of Sequels Rebound and let me just say that I have not found any gems thus far. Well for this continuation we had an insane mental patient with a power drill fetish, an Andrew Dice Clay Freddy Kruger hybrid dream demon and now...even less connection to the original other than our psycho uses a giant post hole digger drill. Yes let us join Jackie Cassidy and her friends at what may be the last slumber party of their lives. This is Slumber Party Massacre III.

Gee, I wonder what the guy's intentions are?

Jackie Cassidy (Keely Christian of A Brand New Life, Married with Children, Hollywood Boulevard II, Growing Pains, Charles in Charge and Earth Angel) invites her girlfriends after playing on the beach to her parents' house. Mom and Dad are away which means...SLUMBER PARTY!!!! As depicted by writer Catherine Cyran (writing research conducted by a 12 year old boy), the girls want to bring booze, food and public domain tunes rule! Shockingly enough even at a slumber party there lies in await a pooper for said party.

Bent on destruction, murder and probably blowing up someone's thunderbucket from those Buffalo Wild Wings they had 3 hours prior. A crazed nutter butter among all the red herrings. We have creeper stalker house hunter guy, Morgan (Michael Harris of Santa Barbara, Suture, Sleepstalker, Babylon 5: A Call to Arms and Finding Bliss) our creeper goth guy that is only named The Weirdo (Yan Birch of The People Under the Stairs, Sucker, Bless the Child and Essence of Echoes) and the Killer name of Ken (Brittain Frye of Less Than Zero, Santa Barbara, Veiled Threat, Dallas and In Search of a Woman) who is blond haired and blue eyed. CLEARLY EVIL!

Rich white kids can't resist the game of: Kick the Hobo.

After a friend of theirs died, hadn't shown up and everyone rags on her how she didn't bring the hamburgers for their cook out, they order a pizza instead and of course as many straight sexually oriented girls do, they dare two of their friends to striptease in front of them...again could only came from a research guide of the mental age of 12.

A few of the doofs the girls are marginally interested crash the party, start porking away and then almost 30 minutes later, another death scene. Death by plug-in vibrator tossed in a bathtub! Yup you read it here! Death by vibrator!! While a few run for help, the others proceed to Scooby Doo their way around the house convinced maybe the killer is still inside! So rather than piling up in the cars, zipping over to the cop shop, chewing the cops out for ignoring their pleas for help and mercy and getting the killer thrown in jail... they mildly arm themselves and dink around some more. In a weak ass attempt to link the film with the first one, Ken's Uncle Billy was supposed to be the mental patient from the first movie.

So what did we learn from this cinematic experience?

Well while this was professionally shot, blocked, sound and lit properly, the material is flawed, the acting was over the top and really they just needed an excuse to show some topless shots. In October 10^th of 2010 marked the first time this film was released in a 2 DVD disk set with its predecessor Slumber Party Massacre II. There is no real new concept to be had.  Just an insane guy drilling cute ditzy girls to death and none of them deserved it overall.

Psst doll, stop looking at the camera.   Oh whatever.

YAWN!