A fine greetings and hello for Day 2 of
Savage Titles. While yesterday was an actual enjoyable women in
prison film that did not have large amounts of nudity, lesbian
undertones and torture...I know I have just irked a good chunk of my
male readers but fellas, really it was fun but this time around we
seem to have a gen-y horror movie made in 2010. Yeah I am riveted at
this dialogue but I am sticking around for the cinematography. With
the stereotypical redneck yokel mongoloid looking men and women hot
on these teens' trail for something or the other. This is Savage
County.
Well this is the worst Cracker Barrel I have ever been to. |
Filmed in Memphis Tennessee, a major
party for the kids prior finals is in full swing as a happening.
Film geek Patrick (Doug Haley of Van Nuys, Good Luck Charlie,
Born to Race, The Intern, Man Up and The Spectacular Now) is
prepping a party and a road trip extravaganza. Valedictorian Izzy
(Ana Ayora of Marley & Me, Phoenix Falling, The Big
Wedding, Chop Shop, Redeemed and Banshee) and her doof, buff
and self-centered Class President boyfriend Colby (Ken Luckey
of The Legend of Hell's Gate: An American Conspiracy, True Blood,
L.A. Noir, Mad Men, 6 Bullets to Hell and Happily Ever After)
are grumbling with one another because Izzy isn't putting out enough
for Colby's taste I guess. Captain of the Football team Noah
(Sinqua Walls of Teen Wolf, Believe Me, Power and Once Upon a
Time) and girlfriend Prom queen Caitlyn (Rebekah Graf
of 90210, My Roommate Sam, Bro', Killer Reality, and Talbot County)
is iffy on both the party and the road trip but Patrick is a good
egg. Caitlyn drops the bombshell that she is grounded and remains on
her vlog podcast/djing to interact with fans.
Find the dimmest bulb in the room. Hint, it's not the light bulb. |
Megan is a slight bad girl with no
direction (Mimi Michaels of Hip-Hop Headstrong, Chromeskull:
Laid to Rest 2, Castle, Chosen, 666 Park Avenue, BioShock Infinite,
Dope and Quantum Break) with her drug dealing boyfriend that
is older than her, Mike (Ryan Carter of Omg/HaHaHa, A
Disjointed Proposal, Savage County and First Impressions) are
hitting this party...probably to bone in one of the bedrooms.
Patrick tries to bond with everything. Our film interspersed past
and present with psychos torments their victims.
The kids head out to their road trip
and our gang tease Patrick about his scaredy cat ways. To prove them
wrong he decides to take the dare of the knock and run on the most dilapidated house they could find. Seriously, if I was in a car
accident, leg broken and bleeding out, I still would not have crawled
to this rusted out farm equipment front lawn filled crap house. Izzy
throwing up constantly hinting to early days of pregnancy as they are
off to the swimming hole for drinking and debauchery. A prank
pushing the goth girl Angie (Ivy Mclemore of Cigarette Girl,
Savage County and B.F.E.) into said swimming hole and she
stomps off. The rest of the gang go to craphole house and anger the
creeper old man with a shotgun. Noah hits on the idea to crack him
across the melon with a shovel and of course this is the MaGuffin
that sets everything else into motion.
Old Man Hardell's family find dead
Grampy and seek revenge in the bloodiest way possible. Yeah with
slow-mo shots handheld and their goofy masks it is clear that none of
these boys are tightly wrapped and start to hunt the kids down.
How many will feel the icy hand of
Death?? Can they survive this encounter? Will Jake give a crap?
To be fair the film is acted well and
the production isn't bad, it is just predictable and more gory than
the 70s Grindhouse Drive-In flicks. Foreseen futures no matter how
brief they may be is tedious and drawn out. Not that they have that
finite a cast, I think they were attempting suspense. With a degree
of night vision, grainy shots and fast edits it could be considered
creepy.
Calculable stories and repetitive
results annoy me to no end and I was very bored.
Voted: Most likely to die squealing like a pig. |
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