Monday, March 28, 2016

A Sequel Like No Other: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

Well hello there my little lamby lambs and welcome back for the week here at Rotten Reelz Reviews. Now we have a few announcements for the week but that will all have to wait because...I have the sequel! What sequel you may find yourself asking? Why, only the sequel you yourself didn't even know you wanted. Yes the sequel to follow 25 years later from all the hard hitting action, paint balls for blood, the tactical wisdom of Shoot, shoot shoot, shoot them, man! I speak of none other than Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance.

Kawasu e no ikō o chūshi! or Abort move to dodge!

25 years later and the streets of L.A.have not improved. Technology and communications run at an all-time high and the Yakuza are in full swing. Joe Marshall (Matt Karedas of American Revenge, Samurai Cop and JAG)has all but disappeared after the death of Jennifer (now played by adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband)

Frank (Mark Frazer of Another World, Hunter, Samurai Cop and Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) has a life, a good woman and a new partner Detective Higgins (Laurene Landon of Airplane II: The Sequel, Hundra, Maniac Cop, Wicked Stepmother, Maniac Cop 2, Drive and Knife to a Gunfight) whose plastic surgery is kinda frightening to look at. Seriously, I can barely understand her given her jaw has been reconstructed and her flesh pulled taunt. It's really scary. Frank knows a gang war is about to go down with the bodies piling up on either side but his captain, Joe Harmon (Joe Estevez of Soultaker, Werewolf, Cyber Seeker, Fatal Justice, Toad Warrior, Rollergator, Demolition Highway and Guns of El Chupacabra) is a bit of a prick and doesn't care for cops with instinct only by the book. At least 3 tsuba (hilt for a wakasashi or katana) have been left at the murder scenes.

Bai Ling's late afternoon wear.

 Frank tracks down the shipping address only to find Joe, alive and well, hiding out in the desert making duplicates based on the 8 tsuba of virtue for swords living the life of peace when Katanas strike! Agreeing to work with Frank again, Joe meets Milena ( Again adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband) the spitting image of his dead wife Jennifer and a hokey romance ensues.

3 semi-nude girls and you can't see a thing in this shot! muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Joe drug into the middle of this potential power keg must do battle with the Katana clan against former mullet Fujiyama (Cranston Komuro of Samurai Cop and Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance) and his three deadliest specialists: Dogge' (Bai Ling of The Crow, Anna and the King, Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow, Blood Shed, The Key and 6 Ways to Die), Hera (Adult film actress Lexi Belle of Trouble Youth 3, Sweet Petite, The Ring, Girls Love Girls 3 and Lusty Young Lesbians Vol. 6) and Tessa (Adult film star Zoey Monroe of Slut Puppies 7, Buttsex Nymphos 2, Bitter Sweet. Young & Glamorous 5, Lil' Gaping Lesbians 5, and the classic P.O.V. Pervert 16) . Can Joe and Frank put aside their differences to handle Katana again? Will Joe have another lovely lady wig? Will Frank STOP mugging for the camera?

Originally pitched as Marshall's partner Frank would team up with Joe's daughter to avenge dear old Joe Matt Karedas turns out to be alive after years off the grid. Whoops. Better make him a producer.  Dear sweet lord why??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US ALL???!!! Okay, that bit of overacting is courtesy of The Room's Tommy Wiseau appearing and having a part. The horror... the horror. YOU'RE SLICING ME APART, SAMURAI!!! Yup, got it out of my system now.

That's not my gun digging into your hip, baby.