Saturday, September 3, 2016

Linda Blair Week: Chained Heat


Welcome back for Day 5 of Linda Blair Week and it has been pretty amazing watching those numbers tally up. A quick heads up about Linda Blair's Worldheart Foundation http://www.lindablairworldheart.org/ as this is a rescue for pitbulls in the greater Los Angeles area. With Medical services, proper nutrition and behavioral classes to help give rescue dogs a better shot at life.

Well, the good taste could only prevail for so long. More than a few fans insisted that I watch and review a more adult themed Linda Blair film and if I must, I must. With a perverted John Vernon, Sybil Danning and Tamara Dobson ruling the pens, where can Linda Blair turn? This is Chained Heat.


So how do you tease your hair that way Val?














Young Carol (Linda Blair of Savage Streets, The Exorcist II: The Heretic, Moving Target, Up Your Alley, Bad Blood, The Chilling, Dead Sleep, Sorceress, Prey of the Jaguar, Supernatural, Whoa! and All is Normal) had a drunk driving accident that cost a man his life. The judge threw the book at her giving her no less than 18 months to serve her sentence. Our warden Bacman (John Vernon of Brannigan, S.W.A.T., Cannon, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Angela, Dirty Harry, Animal House, Savage Streets and Batman: The Animated Series)has aspirations to be the next Fellini using his prison hoes for a smut racket homemade pornographic films and distribution of coke. Double Secret Probation for you, sir!   Streetwise Val (Sharon Hughes of The Last Horror Film, Grotesque, Chained Heat and Mission: Killfast) who rocks her Aquanet hair becomes Carol's mentor giving her the tips to survival and how to loosen up in this madcap world behind bars.


You muthas messin' with Cleopatra Jones!?!
















With the promise of drugs, sex and other such contraband, the male prison guards listen to their Captain Taylor (Stella Stevens of The Nutty Professor, The Poseidon Adventure, Santa Barbara, General Hospital and Megaconda) who keeps it on the up and up by is a partner to statuesque Duchess (Sybil Danning of The Three Musketeers, The Four Musketeers: Milady's Revenge, Cat in the Cage, Battle Beyond the Stars, Hercules, Howling II: Striba Bitch, Reform School Girls and Warrior Queen) is clearly a lifer running whatever kind of skag she can on her cell block and is a big deal next to her competition that Amazonian bit of loveliness, Duchess (Tamara Dobson of Fuzz, Cleopatra Jones, Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold, Murder at the World Series, Jason of Star Command, Chained Heat and Amazons). Tensions are high between the white and black cell blocks. Imagine what the Latinas, Germans and the Irish feel. I do feel the boom mic deserves a decent billing as I saw it more than a few times but nowhere near the top billed boom mic of Dolemite.


Tee hee!  I'm easy.














Naive Carol is caught in the middle of this bubbling cauldron and it only a matter of time before a block war goes up. Will she survive the next few days?? Can no one stop the madness???





With the grim and gritty atmosphere of in-house fighting, shower scenes, lesbian scenes and sleazy dialogue this makes for unusual viewing. The lighting choices of shadows, back lit and eerie synthesizer music was an odd choice but fits the mood pretty well. With racist fights, shanks and the staff being corrupt gives little to no hope of a night's sleep. Shockingly enough, as this is a women in prison film there is tons of nudity. I know, I too was surprised at this. The story is dark, some of the acting is over the top but we do have some classic Henry Silvia with his patented creepy smile and pleasant voice ensuring you would die slowly. This exploitation, sexploitation, blaxploitation film does have its cult following so you make of that what you will.

Who said this isn't my natural hair color!?!