Monday, July 3, 2017

Incognito Cinema Warriors XP

Hey folks I am back again. Today's theme is a little something different. You would call this an internet/DVD phenomenon given how these guys and gals directly changed movie riffing for a new generation. Movie Riffing? Making fun of a preexisting source material in the same fashion as Joel Hodgson's Mystery Science Theater 3000, Mike Nelson's Riff Trax and Hodgson's Cinematic Titanic.

Damn. Topsy really wants those Junior Mints.

What started as nothing more than a one and done as head writer/director/actor/graphic artist/metalhead Rikk Wolf puts it, became an underground success from DVD releases to YouTube standing.   Incognito Cinema Warriors XP is based with music/video game/movie/literate/snarky comments thrust out at the screen at film that look better on teeth. Hell some of the movies they watch, film on a dead man's eyes would be more entertaining and less off-putting.

Woody Strode: American Gigolo.

So imagine MST3K but not a guy trapped in space. Oh no, that would be kind. So instead the Zombie Apocalypse overtakes the states, possibly the world. Commander Rick Wolf (Rikk Wolf of ICWXP) lead a team of commandos C.O.R.P.S. (Commando Of Re-animant Processing and Suppression) whose entire team was overrun by zombies forcing Wolf to take shelter in the Cine-a-Sorrow theater, a run down and presumbly abandoned movie theater.  Looks like a refuge out of the 1950s but with a Sci-Fi theme in the sense of automaton robots holding independent thought and given menial tasks by their creator, Dr. Blackwood.  Blackwood offers the safety of reinforced steel shutters and a completely sealed theater (that may or may not have been illegal human experimentation, a fire code and a terrifying notion).   In return, Rikk will be subjected to some of the worse films in cinema.   Blackwood wants to see how long or with what film Rikk ends up gacking himself with a concealed butter knife.

Joining Rikk in the battle of these horrific gobs of moving picture tripe, are Topsy Bot 5000 (Nick Evans of ICWXP), concession stand robot, dispenser of drinks and popcorn...and his arms don't work and Johnny Cylon (Zach Legler of ICWXP), the resident usher bot, making sure old ladies get through the aisles fine, teens aren't screwing in the back rows and that the candy/gum resin isn't making the floor sticky.

The bots haven't had to do any jobs of any sort given the theater shut down decades ago and their reasoning for being, the purpose they were created for has been taken from them. A metaphysical dichotomy is assured for their CPUs.  Blackwood long forgot about the bots and demands they too suffer through these flicks along with Rick.

So this week we look in horror at a low budget TV quality internet/straight-to-DVD series that has been cracking folks up for years and YOU were just not hip enough to know about it.  Hey, hey it's okay. Dry those tears and get on the bandwagon now. It doesn't matter if you are less cool than nerd devil Michael Bay or so unhip your pants fall around your knees, you're a rebel and here is your cause.

For more information on the cast and crew of this humble but fierce series, go to, catch them on Facebook and YouTube under AgonyWolf Media.

Cylon: Destroyer of Candy Forts.