Friday, August 4, 2017

Meh Movies: The A-Team

Welcome back to what can be described as Meh Movies. These are the films that didn't wow me, impress me, have a huge impact or I am so shell shocked from crappy flicks my nerve endings don't work right anymore. Today's film has an amazing cast but it just didn't gel as well as Top Cow Productions would like you to think. Top Cow?? As in the comic book productions via Image Comics. No wonder the story left me unfulfilled. Writer/penciller/executive producer Marc Silvestri of (Witchblade, The Darkness, X-Men 1989-1992) places writer/producer Glen A. Larson's (A-Team, Riptide, Knight Rider, Battlestar Galatica, The Fall Guy, Automan, Manimal and NightMan) dishonorably discharged Special Forces Unit Vietnam vets into Special Forces Unit Iraq vets convicted of a crime they never committed. Giant leap there. This is The A-Team.

Someone's excited for The Defenders.

Operational Detachment Alpha is under the careful eye of Colonel Hannibal Smith (Liam Neeson of Miami Vice, High Spirits, Darkman, Rob Roy, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, The Haunting, Batman Begins and Taken) bailing his subordinate out of trouble in Mexico, a smart but reckless Lt. Face (Bradley Cooperof Nip/Tuck, All about Steve, The Hangover, Limitless, The Words, Hit and Run, American Sniper and Guardians of the Galaxy) attempting to nab a corrupt general with limited success. Hannibal stops a young man name of Bosco B.A. Barracus (UFC Quinton "Rampage" Jackson of Death Warrior, Hell's Chain, Fire with Fire, Vigilante Diaries, See Dan Run and Boone: The Bounty Hunter) and convinced him to aid his friend. After nabbing a burnt, loopy but not completely fried pilot Murdock (Sharlto Copley of District 9, Elysium, Maleficent, Chappie, Powers and Free Fire) to get them under way. 8 years later they are 80 missions in and its 80-0.

You know I trained Batman, right?

One last gig to take printing plates of the Yankee dollar in Iraqi hands so the boy are planning a strike to capture the plates, printing press, the whole damn thing.  A merc team and a CIA prick left them in the wind and the boys are looking at federal time in the big house via Gitmo. OoOoOor....they can pick themselves up, find the fore-mentioned pricks and the plates.  6 months in max security the boys are still being ready waiting and planning. Hannibal has a few plans, strategies, a tactical rough outlines and manages a few clever ideas.

Mexico or Arizona? Meh, it's a lot of desert.

Now the action is decent, the locations well done, and the dark humor is balanced with the characters. The problem with all the plane stunts, fistfights, gunfights and mass explosions. The story isn't bad but some of the dialogue is lacking. Admittedly Cooper screaming" Get some bitch!" I really wanted to hear Rocket Raccoon screaming that while blasting an unfeasibly large gun in his disturbingly human like paws.

Action-packed scenes worthy of a Jason Bourne flicks, well rehearsed fight choreography, some full on Gun Fu but I found the overall cliffhanger based on fantasy, action and actual military terminology. It is over the top, loud and obnoxious male. You know, an action movie but PG-13?? Ugh. Now I understand the notion of using nostalgia against the thirty to forty something crowd, hell we have been down this road since the first Mission: Impossible flick.  I still think this was well-executed and diverting entertainment. I wasn't bowled over by it but it almost didn't bore me to tears.

A good actress relegated to being Face's eyecandy. Classy.

Patrick Wilson forced to be such a douche. Did love Pike and C.I.A. Kyle with the frickin' issues with putting a damn supressor on a pistol. I about cried laughing. Not a brilliant film but not bad either. Worthy of a sequel but apparently the numbers weren't high enough. Cooper and Copley were even talking pay cuts for a sequel but the concept got tanked. Clocking in at 2 hours and 13 minutes is the extended version and YES go watch it.   PG-13 version/theatrical?? Meh.

FYI, Jessica Biel was totally wasted in this movie as a hard ass bureaucrat/Face's love interest.  She deserved better.  She has some range and acting chops.