Well hello there readers of mine and
welcome back for Day 4 of Horror for the Holidays. Looks like a
running tally for the use of Silent Night in more than half of the
Christmas themed horror movies I have researched via IMDB. Some have
been cults, warlocks, zombies and even the odd serial killer
screaming, "Naughty!" but you get the point. Now, what I
am about to review now is in fact not a remake but just a loose
telling of a real life tale of the Covina massacre blown out of
porportion via Hollywood. With the fair writing skills of Jayson
Rothwell (Bob's Weekend, Blessed, Second in Command and
Malice in Wonderland) and placed in the hands of director of
rock videos and short films Steven C. Miller (Automaton
Transfusion, The Aggression Scale, Under the Bed and Submerged),
we are in for a bit of a gore fest but maybe it will not surpass Laid
to Rest and here's hoping on that. I couldn't eat lunch for over two
hours thanks to that flick. This is Silent Night.
Bob's first Krav Maga lesson with Santa goes awry. |
In a small
Midwestern town that looks awfully like the bacony sight of Canada.
We find a fellow ducking the camera giving us the illusion of
foreshadow or tension that he is in fact the killer decked out as
Santa with his own personal flamethrower... yeah I didn't stutter, I
said a flamethrower. Now unless he is stowing that in his bag of
toys I am not certain how he carries that around with him. A young
deputy is devoid of his uniform, bound to a metal lawn chair and
strapped down with Christmas lights pleading for his life when he is
fried like a wonton with bad CGI eyeballs exploding out of his head.
A slight nod or homage to Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.
Young
deputy Aubrey Bradimore (Jaime King of Pearl Harbor,
Bulletproof Monk, Sin City, Two for the Money and My Bloody
Valentine) is woken early
from bed by Sheriff Cooper (Malcolm McDowell of A
Clockwork Orange, Caligula, Blue Thunder, Superman: The Animated
Series, Star Trek: Generations, Justice League and Halloween)
claiming the same eye popping lad has been AWOL since last Thursday
and assumes he was out and about, now sleeping it off. With a
surplus of Santas roaming about for the impeding holiday Santa parade
makes it almost impossible to find out firebug psycho so the local
law has their work cut out for them as it is.
Freeze, curtains! |
While
dealing with down and out cynical Santa Jim (Donal Logue
of Blade, Ghost Rider, Life, Shark Night 3D and Sons of Anarchy),
Deputy Bradimore is dispatched to the old abandoned house along the
way because of an odd smell where she encounters the missing deputy
and a missing housewife, both quite indisposed... that's deader than
Pauly Shore's career if I was too subtle. With the body count
reaching higher our hapless sheriff is no closer to discovering the
who, what and why as Deputy Bradimore is convinced that our killer
has to be someone they trusted as there have been no forced entries
with each homicide. What is the connection to all these people?
Why them specifically? Are they simply being punished by someone's
code of morals and honor?
With the clock
ticking down and red herrings aside our law enforcement better have
downed enough caffeine to freak out a long haul trucker or it's
curtains for this quiet little town.
A few
comments on the flick. One, this is gory but not to say the level of
the Saw movies. The death scenes are over the top to be certain but
that would be if we were watching a thriller rather than a slasher
film. CGI eye popping looked so damn phony that the make-up crew
forgot to blacken the victim's skin better. Kudos to the scalp wound
though. As one-dimensional as most of the characters that have been
on the naughty list, I found myself rooting for Killer Santa. Mild
amount of nudity, the f-bomb got dropped more than a few times and
they were stockpiled on Kyro syrup and black food dye. McDowell is
clearly having fun with this movie as his one-liners are just the
right amount of cheese delivered in such a serious manner you cannot
help but snicker.
Vicious murderous make-up SFX guru Vincent
J. Guastini (The
Last of the Mohicans, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, The
Devils Carnival and Under the Bed)
the dismemberment, head splitting, axe wounds and gore gags aside tip
their hat a bit to both the original and the second Silent Night,
Deadly Night films but it does not have any story-line like it other
than the killer is in a Santa suit and is going to town on the
"guilty". That is really were the similarities end. So
entertaining to a degree but DEFINITELY not one for the kids to curl
around the fire place to AT ALL.
Guess he is not here to trim the tree. |
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