Welcome back readers if I have any left
to Day 2 of Gorefest. Now admittedly most of the movies I will be
viewing has a few gore gags in here but quite a few of these
discarded stinkers are just worth viewing to riff on and mock. With
that in mind today's film also released by then Concorde Productions
now New Concorde Productions, the same folks that brought us Chopping
Mall so expect a slight throbbing in the temples. That's the pain of
your head reeling how most of these flicks got a release to be made.
So how about a serial killer that happens to escape from poorly
guarded wackobasket and goes on a killing spree slaying young jiggly
girls?? This is Sorority House Massacre.
Look around blandly and stop trying to stare at the camera! |
EXPECT PAIN!
Off the bat, you will see a young girl
lose family member by her crazy brother while she hides in the closet
armed with a clothes wire hanger. Okay, I added the wire hanger but
there is enough elements from Halloween minus Donald Pleasance Doctor
Loomis on standby. Beth (Angela O' Neill of Vicious Lips,
Alien Nation, Grandmother's House, Bush Shrink, Enemy Unseen of River
of Diamonds) heads to a Sorority house that is actually the
same house she grew up when it somehow sets off her brother Bobby
(John C. Russell of Sorority House Massacre)
psychically. As he shrills in the night or mid-afternoon the
sanitarium guards show up at his room with break neck speed. Most
asylums are kind of used to screaming in the night. Just odd,
coupled with him on it some sort of jumpsuit and no shoes meanwhile
he looks like he is an 80's high school kid snoozing on a bed.
As Beth looks over this sorority, most
of the girls are leaving for the weekend and will most likely live,
Beth starts regaining memory of the house with painful Casio keyboard
music and slo-mo motion but decent flashback sequence as three little
girls talk to Beth, little bit of room viewing and implied violence
and the dream ends. Beth is woken by Sara (Pamela Ross of
Sorority House Massacre and Moonstalker), a girl looking for
a friend's sweater who delivers a clunky comment about a very faint
scar that Beth has on her arm. Personal space means nothing to Sara
I guess.
Old Man Smithers??! NOOOoOoOOOOOO!!!! |
The first half of the movie is Beth
roaming around the house having her flashblack/acid trips and being
the creepy girl on campus who has no real living relatives so I am
guessing some sort of student aid or inheritance. Bobby just jogs
out away from the hospital, heads to a Hardware Hank, does the
typical bust through the glass case and acquires a hunting knife.
Disgruntled elder man grumbles at the lad and gets gut stabbed.
Damn, now where will we get our steady diet of racist and sexist
jokes?
Stealing a Ford Bobcat, Bobby is on his mission to kill,
Kill, KILL!!! The girls want to really make that sorority mixer to
go off without a hitch in spite how flammable their heads are with
all that Aquanet in it. We meet the goober Fraternity boys that
will be joining for fun, fornication and a few drinks and.. you know
what? I am not writing up all these "actors" names.
Seriously, the dialogue is completely out of sync for a teenager
going to college, half of these guys have male pattern baldness and
the delivery of lines wouldn't make it in a fishing pond. Beth
starts dreaming about Bobby but she always sees him as a grown adult
rather than the boy that slaughtered everyone so I guess the director
had issues using a kid as a nutter butter gutting folk.
Can Beth fend off Bobby? Will the Frat
boys be any use other than plowing the girls? Dare we go to the
basement or the woods alone?
A few comments on the film now.
The buxom blonde on the cover of said
movie Suzee Slater isn't even in the movie but they needed to pander
to their horny young men audience with an enticing VHS cover. The
detective on the case, Gilbert (Fitzhough Huston of Night of
the Kickfighters, A Killer Among Us, Roc and Mike Hammer, Private
Eye) got really hosed due to a lot of editing. His
performance made you want to be a passenger in his plain clothes car
and follow him on the case.
As campy as the film feels, with the
stereotypes branded from Nerd, Jock, Sweetheart girl and slight bitch
it isn't a terrible film it just drags on with all the flashbacks
taking up the better portion of a half hour. The guards are pretty
blase that it will be their ass since Bobby is loose on the streets
and the gore gags are pretty tame by Friday the 13th
standards let alone SAW. Rounding out to a whopping 74 minutes the
film is mildly entertaining, shot and edited well and for a low budget
film did its best with what it had.
Caro syrup in my contacts!!! |
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