What's happenin' cats and
kittens...welcome to Day 2 of Back in Blaxploitation and today we are
gabbing about a super sleuth that all is gathering around for. No, I
ain't talkin' about Shaft. Can you dig it? I mean the kitten that
purrs so but carries claws when she needs it. Only one bit of
sweetness to get to the bottom of this obvious kettle of fish. This
is Velvet Smooth.
Ron Jeremy is Leatherface in: A Cut Above the Rest. |
Our private eye with her foxy sidekicks
is on the case, Velvet (Johnnie Hill of Velvet Smooth)
gets a sit down with the man, King Lathrop (Owen Watson of
Black Force, Velvet Smooth and Bon annivesaire Juilette) as
someone is muscling him out of his territory. The possibility is so
mind boggling to Lathrop that he has to hire the best P.I. In the
business and Velvet fits the bill. With her help of friends Ria
(Elsie Roman of Black Force, Velvet Smooth and Gang Wars)
a lawyer and rough and tough Frankie (Rene Van Clief of
Dolemite and Velvet Smooth) the scumbags better beware!
Frankie works undercover to ferret out
the man causing Lathrop so much hell that they are convinced it may
be an inside job by one of Lathrop's own men. Did I mention all
these ladies are supposed to be adept in martial arts. Kung Faux
from the looks of that and no I did not error on my spelling because
the fight scenes look so damn hokey, I guess they were convinced the
girls would get hurt and blah blah blah but more than half of these
fight scenes are shot at long distance so you barely see what is
really happening and the other half...well you really weren't missing
the astounding choreography of a fourth grader's attention to detail.
Why not make the girls bar room brawlers instead or a bit of
street fight but I guess opting to fit them with bonking frying pans
and attitude was skipped thankfully but not by much.
She cut a bitch! Mostly, with those nails. |
The general vibe says not to trust
anyone, then why did the kingpin hire Velvet at all and what is
really going on? Love the street gangs' Leatherface meets Hannibal
masks as well. Clashes a bit with their funky threads but that
happens from time to time. And ladies, lay off the kick and punches
to the nuts already!! Girl power aside, the twig and berry
fatalities were getting insane!
A few nitpicks now. Holy crap I have
not seen the boom mic that many times outside of Dolemite. Get the
boom mic top billing! Running Back two-time Emerson Boozer
for the NY Jets (1966-1975) was kind of a point of interest but you
get the overall reason why his career in acting didn't go sky
rocketing. Didn't have the chops, baby. The sound effects foley
artist fell asleep as half of the slaps, punches and kicks don't
match up with the action followed by a drum crash seemingly to
accompany every other punch to skin.
Not the worst blaxploitation thus far
but certainly not the better talented to be working on this project.
Still it beats Dolemite everytime.
Operation: Grabass is under way! |
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