Ho, ho, ho and a Merry Dismember
December Day 3! Well it's that time of year where Christmas break
happens throughout the education system and Calvin Finishing School
for Girls is no exception to the rule. A gaggle of the jiggly girls
have their hearts set on a party while the president of the school is
away. Oh of course there will be boys there so they can all pair off
and couple up but what if... an insane psychotic happens to be
roaming about? For that matter, what if this potential psycho is
dressed as Santa? This is To All a Goodnight.
Yeah they're real. Touch them if you don't believe us. |
Director to our little tale is none
other than exploitation actor David Hess (The Last House
on the Left, Hitch Hike, Avalanche Express, House on the Edge of the
Park. Swamp Thing, White Star adn Body County) serving us up
a Christmas tale to be told around the fireplace written by Alex
Rebar (Beyond the Door, To All a Goodnight, Demented and
Nowhere to Hide). It seems two years prior at this very
finishing school a sorority girl was killed by accident due to a dumb
prank (Which if proof was needed, skip pranks horror film
universes... it will all end in tears and blood!).
So cast aside your season's greetings
as the first ever Killer Santa movie is born! Oh yes, a full four
years prior to Silent Night, Deadly Night, our story shows our
collective of girls, Nancy (Jennifer Runyon of Another World,
Up the Creek, Ghostbusters, Killing Streets, Carnosaur and Silent
Night, Deadly Night 2: Revival) wants to have fun with her
girls and this promise of men at the ready even if she is still not
sure about going all the way. Tee hee. Low and behold several of
the party goers seem to be missing or gasp...DEAD! Phoning the
police is a logical choice...so is vacating the premises but that is
thinking too far ahead. All we know for certain that someone in a
Santa suit is checking his list and putting people and the end list.
Oh the cops get a red herring of course with Ralph the peeper gardener, which is no Crazy Ralph so get him the hell out of here!
Got something in your eye.. Oh yeah, my knife. |
Will the girls get out alive? Is Santa
putting them on the permanent naughty list? Will there ever be a
horror movie that makes cops competent?
Our location for the sorority house is
actually a mansion and according to the late director, it belonged to
a drug kingpin in Santa Barbara. What else can I say about this
flick? The lighting is crappy rather than moody, the dialogue is
kind of flat but there are some interesting death scenes and numerous
pans of Santa killer's legs going up and down stairs that I just
thought the camera man really liked his ass. Our film tries for
moody and suspenseful but it is difficult for me to take it seriously
when well-known porn actor Harry Reems is in the cast.
Yeah,the male lead in Devil in Miss Jones and Deep Throat
doesn't really make me think, "Oh yeah, this guy would be
perfect for my slasher movie."
With 70 gees for budget and 35mm
Arriflex Cameras at the work, I could have done with out the fish eye
lens for flash-backing. That just kills my eyes and really distorts
your movie overall.
Judith Bridges and Linda
Gentile did live up to their nude obligations in the film and all
the sexist piggies that watch these flicks primarily for that will
not be disappointed (Sorry ladies, but every so often I do have to
acknowledge other readers).
Murders? Fuhgeddaboudit! |
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