Salutation readers! Well I am already
on a cheeseball 90s action films so why stop at Samurai Cop?
Instead we will start taking a look at
T&A and Guns master Andy Sidaris (Malibu Express, Hard
Ticket to Hawaii, Savage Beach, Guns, Do or Die, Hard Hunted and Fit
to Kill), a director of the triple b or BBB (Bullets,
Bombs and Babes) as he had a rotating company of actors made up
of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets. A fourth b added to this
should be Buxom because while I have seen a handful (tee hee)
of these flicks, none of these girls are flat chested. The plots
are trope ridden, the girls are less than believable walking around
let alone martial art masters and marksmen. This is Day of the
Warrior.
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| Psst! Eyes up here please. Not a piece of meat you know. |
The Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and
Law or L.E.T.H.A.L. Are the go to agency to handling terrorists,
smugglers, drug dealers and even syndicate organizations. Hell, I
won't be surprised if they kick Cobra's butt too. Take that G.I.
Joe! Our crack team of professionals are in hot pursuit of a
criminal dubbed the Warrior (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell
of WCW Mayhem, WCW Souled Out, L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage
Beach, Charmed and WCW Monday Nitro), former Olympic gold
medalist, pro wrestler and ex-CIA agent...cause that all blends well
together. He now smuggles diamonds, contraband bootleg porn and fine
art dealership. With him his assistant Kym (Ray "Zap"
Hollitt of American Gladiators, Skin Deep, The Immortalizer, The Last
Hour, Baywatch, Cyborg 3: The Recycler. JAG, Manhunt and Revamped)
a lethal lovely of with appetites of carnal and destruction.
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| Clearly a tactical genius. |
With the ladies of LETHAL hot on the
case they are lead by field commander Willow Black (Former
Penthouse Pet Julie Strain of The Dallas Connection, Play Time,
Sorceress, Guns of El Chupacabra, Sorceress II: The Temptress, Heavy
Metal 2000, Battle Queen 2020 and Zombiegeddon) and her D cup
deadly darlings Cobra (Former Penthouse Pet Julie K Smith of
The Bare Wench Project, Survivors Exposed, The Bare Wench Project 3:
Nymphs of Mystery Mountain, The Hills Have Thighs and Dirty Dead Con
Men) and Tiger (Former Playboy Playmate Shae Marks of
Cover Me, Scoring, Playboy's Really Naked Truth, Blue Heat: The Case
of the Cover Girl Murders, Viper, Love Stinks and Black Scorpion)
must match their brains and brawn against Warrior and stop his
organization. Where to even begin how shallow every guy, bi-sexual
and lesbian should feel watching these particular films? You
watching for the jiggly girls for crying out loud. This is not a
Peckinpaw flick nor is it Hitchcock.
I mean for God's sake the minuscule
outfits they put the girls in for starters. They would have no range
of movement in a fraction of these Fredrick's of Hollywood BDSM
outfits to pull off a decent side snap kick let alone in three to
four inch heels while balancing. Elektra and Psylocke couldn't roll
in half of these outfits but that's okay because they are fictional
bad asses. The explosions and gunfights are mindless violence and hey
that was one of the things that attracted you to this in the first
place.
Filmed primarily around Sidaris's
hometown of Shreveport Louisana, I have to give credit where it is
due. Everyone is blocked, continuity is not an issue, all our actors
are miked and even the soundtrack by composer Ron Di Iulio
(Mountaintop Motel Massacre, Through the Fire, Armed for
Action, Enemy Gold and Repligator) is quite impressive. I
wasn't suffering from Samurai Cop flashbacks in spite of seeing
Gerald Okamura (Big Trouble
in Little China, The Shadow, Hot Shots! Part Deux, Blade Runner video
game, Blade, Redemption, Vampire Assassin and G.I. Joe: The Rise of
Cobra) again but no Matt Karedas wig wearing pseudo
martial arts thankfully.
So if you are looking for a bit of T&A,
some explosions, a laughable plot and several topless and full nude
scenes...well Andy Sidaris's collection is the way to go.
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| Just shake your cans then a right cross to the chops. |
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