And I'm back my Rotten Readers!
Readers of Rotten? Gotta word shop this or fans could give us a
better tag. Okay today I have been asked by writer/director/actor
Phil Herman (Jacker, Jacker 2, Burglar from Hell, Tales
for the Midnight Hour, HorrorTales.666, After Midnight, Into the
Woods, Sickened, Tales Till the End, Hell on Earth: Arena of Death
and Tales for the Midnight Hour II) invited me to see a five
part anthology Horror film. This is Morbid Stories.
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| Patene: Fight the apocalypse with great hair. |
Brought to us by Avail
Entertainment, we open with some wide shot of a town resembling
New Mexico. Looks like drone shooting, a bit smoother than helicopter
is. Some static ridden reports over the radio seems to be pointing
catastrophe in the making. A young woman, Candy (Courtney
Akbar of Frontlines, NCIS, Parks and Recreation, Smoke Filled Lungs,
Astro and Paradise Apartments) is enjoying a warm, sunny day
with her Pomeranians. Hey I am a little irked these dogs probably
get a better breakfast than I do. Candy now minus her boyfriend is
moving out shortly but the house itself seems to have gotten
sinister. With electrics and gas seemingly turned off, a car radio
announcement confirms something is awry and danger is on the rise.
Witness an apocalyptic end of the
world and Candy just finished her last car payment.
Fade to black wipe and a title card
telling us New York 15 hours prior. Cut to night shot as we see an
injured man with a bite in his throat where he clearly bled out and
is doing some tell tale zombie shuffling. Time for some patented
Tallahassee Zombieland door smacks. Of course the guy could have
had a rabid squirrel bite him and he twisted his ankle. From a
Satanist POV, he's destined to be worm food.
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| Dammit, Kool-Aid man is drunk again. |
Over to a snoozing couple as the hours
of the night tick tock away. Love that the ill-fated Carnival of
Souls is playing on their flat screen in the bedroom. With rapping
at their house's windows, the Singers Helen (Crystal Loverro of
Guardian Devil, Success, Morbid Stories and Scars of Ancient Futures)
and Jamie (Shane Smith of Morbid Stories) grab a
deterrent (ballbat) and go investigate the mystery of who the hell is
knocking at the door at this hour. A refugee from a 90s metal band?
Who is this long haired stranger (Tim
O' Hearn of Dry Bones, The Legend of Six Fingers, Killer Rack, The
Dummy 2, Death House, Blood Prism and Johnny Gruesome) decked
out all in black complete with leather trenchcoat? He claims he and
several of his friends were in an accident up the road and need to
use the phone for fire and emergency to come to their aid. Jamie
reluctant but eventually gives in to assist. He seems weirded out by
these folk and who can blame him? They demand to be invited in.
Things aren't what they appear to be and Jamie is still considerate
enough to let them in the house. Now being paranoid as I am, I
think that jug of holy water and my crucifix would been out about
that time or at the very least a shotgun leveled at taking a head
off.
In a word, badass. Helen is hell on
wheels. Considering her newfound enemies are Nosferatu or Nesuferitu
if you prefer.
Now unlike typical anthologies, this is
edited a bit differently. It would appear Candy's story is the main
one and the others are happening as the day and night progresses. I
saw something simple with Tales from the Darkside and Two Evil Eyes.
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| NOM NOM NOM!!! |
24 hours prior in California: a
Japanese family are simply being a family. The kids are playing in
the dirt and gravel and eldest sister Mallory (Ashley Mei of I
Am a Knife with Legs, Tango Europa, Astro, Morbid Stories and Clown
Fear) has her hands full with sisters Olivia (Emma
Koiso of Clown Fear and Morbid Stories), Ava (Kelly
Koiso of Clown Fear and Morbid Stories), Aiden (Lucas
Koiso of Morbid Stories) and Jayden (Marcus Koiso of
Morbid Stories).
Obsessed with the selfies, vlogging and
her friends, she isn't bad at the babysitting but she could be
better. Pizza ordered instead of making them a meal? Deducting
points already. Friends James (Austyn Reale of Morbid Stories)
and Lola (Jocelyne Daugherty of Morbide Stories) are
frittering away their afternoon with an Oujia board to contact
spirits. Because that never goes wrong in a horror movie...ever.
James has attitude and is crashing at a buddy's house. Angsty teen
boy issues. Probably body hair, his voice cracking and various body
odors no doubt. Oh and he's sweet on Mallory. That much is obvious.
Due to the negative vibes given out, an entity proceeds to raise a
little Hell for our younglings. Something gets into Lola so you
better lop off more than her wrist or maybe an exorcist. You got
that on speed dial right, Mallory?
Candy is a responsible doggy mom as she
is loading them up with little sips of water. Y'know instead of a
big bowl of it, spilling all over the back of the car and making a
mess. Exposition radio station is warning her of incoming zombies?
Very Zombi 3. Without Radio DJ Fresh Zombi kicking the airwaves with
some 70s funk of course.
Meanwhile in Delaware, a published
novelist/teacher is correcting writing errors on his works. Yeah
just truckloads of run-on sentences and those dreaded dangling
participles. The Horror of it all!!! Improper grammar aside, Robert
Zirn (Will Devokees of Macabre Medicine, Agent Emes 8: Agent
Emes and the Shavous Trial, The League of Science, The Perils of
Posting and Morbid Stories) has the expression of a man
burned out. Trying to bash his new novel out, the house he's staying
at doesn't promote the warmest atmosphere. Hell it's just missing a
cannibalistic family with a homemade human chili fetish and I can see
it getting great YELP reviews.
Being isolated from everything and
anything, Robert is trying to make the new book work, if his paranoia
or random creepy sounds would stop happening. His assistant assures
him this was the best place for him because there isn't anything else
available 50 miles in any direction. Here's hoping he doesn't find a
book bound in human flesh and inked in human blood. After all, such
a book was never meant for the land of the living. The pitter patter
of feet on the roof is disturbing. Caretaker Don (Ryan W.
Phillips of Macabre Medicine and Morbid Stories) drops by to
hear Zirn kinda whine and bitch. This guy's helping you out, dude.
Little more gratitude, man. That being said, Don may need a good
smack. No cable no beer makes Zirn something something.
The house has been making odd noises
during a thunderstorm. Could be the wind or a mess of Chupacabras.
Who can say?
Don gives a cryptic warning to not go in the attic.
My first thought? Mom's chained and gagged up in that attic. Fate is
playing silly buggers with Zirn and clearly he has had a few things
on his mind. Nightmares are hounding him or are they nightmares?
Again foot steps sounding like it's coming from the attic. Scooby
gang of one decides he's gonna see what is a-goin' on there.
Reports of zombies and vampires roaming
about. Lock your doors, bolt your windows and pray to your deity of
choice.
Cut to arty pale goth girl attempting a
rare steak and well it didn't go down well or even at all. Instead
of food, she simply has an injection of dubious fluid or liquid.
Guess she has a taste for the crimson stuff in our veins. Methinks
she is a fledgling to go all Radu there. Armageddon is well into
swing as more vampire and zombies seem to be attacking one another.
Just a vampire girl living or nonliving in this lonely world. I loved
the incidental humor, excellent camera work and the credited acting.
This felt like a bizarre rom com.
Is Candy crushing the apocalypse? Will
Angel get his soul? How many more pop culture references can I do?
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| OMG! the apocalypse took my bars! |
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