Death House

Finally! Sorry, after almost a year I finally have to chance to review this film that has been described as The Expendables of Horror. Yes for you folks my age and a tad younger, you will recognize many a name attached to this. Penned by the late Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre) comes a maximum penitentiary gone amok in Death House.

Man, the chicks on Orange is the New Black aren't that hot.

 Felissa Rose herself was telling me about this flick and by God I wanted to watch it since. When Angelia tells you it's gonna be fun, you best be watching this. Writer/director B. Harrison Smith (The Fields, 6 Degrees of Hell, Camp Dread, ZK: Elephant's Graveyard, Death House and Garlic & Gunpowder) brings a myriad of Horror icons of mid 70s to early 80s. Names and faces will pop out at you rather easily.

Our super max prison holding the baddest of the bad is supposed to be modeled after Dante's Inferno, so yes that means levels upon levels. The most vile and despicable are basement dwellers.

Bob Villa's This Old Hell House.

With a detailed inspection underway, this subterranean holding facility keeps the worst of humanity under lock and key for nine levels. Agents Toria Boon (Cortney Palm of Seance: The Summoning, Sushi Girl, The Hit Girl, Alien Rising, Zombeavers, It's Not a Date and Everlasting) and Jae Novak (Cody Longo of Make It or Break It, Piranha 3D, Days of Our Lives, The Silent Thief, For the Love of Money, Nashville and Secrets and Lies) are there to observe the levels and take in the medical and mental health works of Drs. Eileen Fletcher (Dee Wallace of The Hills Have Eyes, The Howling, E.T. The Extra-Terrestial, Cujo, Critters, Troubled Child, The Lords of Salem, Grimm and Just Add Magic) and Karen Redmane (Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator, Chopping Mall, From Beyond, Puppetmaster, Robot Wars, Castle Freak, Guiding Light, The Bold and the Beautiful, The Young and the Restless and You're Next).

Our prison's narrator of the tour cannot be mistaken for anyone other than Adrienne Barbeau and I immediately recognized her voice. 80s kid! Right here!

Farmer Asa (Tony Todd of Night of the Living Dead, Voodoo Dawn, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Candyman, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, Wishmaster, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, The Prophecy: Foresaken and Hatchet) takes a young lady to the hill and what I am guessing is near on old mine shaft or bomb shelter. His hand passes through her stomach wall with near supernatural behavior, taking his time with his little flower.

A virtual reality hologram deck allows the doctors to program in the killers' various victims, allowing the killers' scenarios to play out. A gas keeps them mostly docile so they can't be violent and start massacring the guards and staff. Boon escorts Sieg, who she helped snare, a occultist/Neo Nazi (Kane Hodder of Prison, Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood, Friday the 13^th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Best of the Best, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Project: Metalbeast, Jason X and DarkWolf) to his own Hell on Earth. Careful kiddies, that Jason Vorhees/Victor Crowley strength could kick in at any time.

Rubber bullets, my ass. Gimme a chain gun!

Meeting up with Captain Galan (Kenny Ray Powell of Promoted, Inspired to Kill, Death House, Garlic & Gunpowder and No More Mr Nice Guy) , Boon gets a request to review her mother's murder and murderer through this VR holodeck and I gotta say...why? Will it give you closure?

Our murderer is none other than Machete? (Danny Trejo of Heat, Desperado, Spy Kids, From Dusk Til Dawn, Machete, Bad Ass, Rise of the Zombies, Sons of Anarchy and Young Justice) Our dead mom, Kristi (Camille Keaton of I Spit on Your Grave, The Concrete Jungle, Savage Vengeance, Chop, The Lords of Salem, Blood River, Cabaret Diabolique and Gterror in the Woods Creek) is clearly the driving force for Boon's dedication.

We come across a Leatherface (Troma veteran Debbie Rochon of Black Easter, Tromeo and Juliet, The Vampire's Seduction, Night of the Living Dead: 30^th Anniversary Edition, Hellblock 13, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Bikini Bloodbath and Wrath of the Crows) that even Gunnar Hansen would be proud of.

Before I go any further, I would point out there is a ton of graphic gore, people. No lie, this is bloody. So just pointing it out for anyone that may not be able to handle chum buckets full of blood here.

Level 9, the heavily secured can only be observed by holographic system; houses the five evils as they describe. Nazi genetist, Hirace Giger (Bill Thorton of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Silent Night, Deadly Night III: You Better Watch Out, House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects, Repo: The Genetic Opera, Gotchic Harvest, Cynthia and American Exorcist) who somehow stunted his aging process. Balthoria (Lindsey Hartley of Passions, Days of Our Lives, All My Children, Nightmare Nurse, Smallville and Deadly Exchange), channeling a certain Countess she too is a hemophile and bathes in her victims' blood. Alexi Nela (Vernon Wells of The Road Warrior, Commando, Innerspace, Revamped, The Butcher, Silent Night, Zombie Night, World's End and Like a Bat Outta Hell), Cannibal, Nercromancer connected to the deaths over 700 children that they know of. Crau (Michael Berryman of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Hills Have Eyes, The Barbarians, the Golden Child, The Guyver, The Devil's Rejects, Z Nation, and Hell's Kitty), augmented strength, enhanced intelligence and healing factor. An experimental process created this but drove him crackers. Thile (Vincent M. Ward of True Blood, NCIS, House of Payne, The Walking Dead, Live Evil, Illicit and It's a Date) Satanic occultist known for crucifixion and turning his victims inside out. Blarf.

Uh oh, looks like a Blonde Off.

Novak bumps into an old buddy of his, the Icicle Killer(Sid Haig of Foxy Brown, Savage Sisters, Police Woman, Jason of Star Command, Jackie Brown, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Brotherhood of Blood and Hatchet III) who was responsible for his parents' deaths. Noticing a pattern here. With a guard patrolling he thinks skunks are in the dumpster. Doofus, call in for back up and wait with rifle drawn and safety on.

Well enough of the tour, howzabout a 6 minute shower scene? Because our agents felt they were dirty birdies, I guess. They have no real knowledge of their tats, who they are and golly they are in a prison with behavioral modification and memory implants. Hmm....

Naturally you can't make an omelet without massacring quite a few eggs as derpy dead guard gives the medical term a Joker tummy surprise. Dr. Redmane stays her path that memory erasure and new memory engrams are the most moral things to do with these men and women, making them productive members of society. You'd think this far into a future set up, a de-atomizer would be a concept made machine. Well Timmy, this is the fourth time in 12 years you have been sent to us wearing another man's flesh. Pile of dust for you.

Dayum girl, you even bench?

Movie editing, tight knit writing makes the memories more believable. Enter Bennett (Richard Speight Jr. Of Independence Day, Band of Brothers, Supernatural, Jericho, Justified and Driven) with lovely assistants Dr. Angela Freeman (Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, Satan's Playground, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night, Camp Dread, and Victor Crowley) Dr. Logan Harrison (Laura Compton of Clown Town, Attack of the Killer Donuts, Heroes with Issues, Garlic & Gunpowder and Hell Girl) who delight at re-creating the murders through new, live victims. More specifically the homeless so they can better study the criminals at large if you will, compile that data and create the most comprehensive criminal database. Yup nothing in that sounds really messed up if you say, a soulless congressman, sure. Hack away! Gut them and wear their intestines on your head, ya loopies. It's for the greater good. WTF??!!! 

Still no visit is complete without a visit from the 3 Satans. Yeah, yeah that could be confusing. We got Satan (Sean Whalen of The People Under the Stairs, Twister, The Young and the Restless, Chasing Ghosts, Halloween II, Hatchet III and Ugly Sweater Party), Creator of Satan (Bill Oberst Jr.of 1000 Ways to Die, A Haunting in Salem, Circus of Dread, The Blood Let, Assassins, Hell's Kitty and Welcome to Hell) and lastly the Antichrist, Son of Satan (Bernhard Forcher of August, Supernatural, Freedom, Fury, Grimm, The Man in the High Castle and Counterpart). Still confused? Well...okay not gonna lie. Pretty sure they are all loopy including the staff of doctors. I did spot a couple of my favorite scream queens, Brinke Stevens and Tiffany Shepis in the back.

With an EMP device the size of a frag grenade, the power's down and back-ups are not kicking in. The monsters are out of their boxes, kids. Play time!

With the doomsday scenario set, the prison is rigged for poison gas dispersal and any staff or personnel left behind, well they aren't getting to enjoy retirement.

What we have is a society demanding order and structure but completely violating the very rights this country stands for in order to create such harmony. To willingly place people in harm's way for the sake of more data gathered and they still have the audacity to call the murderers, monsters.

This is very much operating at the level of slasher horror and action film. The zoo has sprung and folks are coming out to spill gallons of blood.

For me, I was simply enjoying the who's who, decent story, substantial budget for a Horror film of this genre. You got crowd fights, falls off railings to level drops. Up close into the psychopath and sociopath mind. For the slasher buffs, oh yeah it has it. And yes, it has nudity. Almost always the same fricking question I am asked in this genre.

At 75 minutes we have fair dialogue and simple story with intense scenes, blood and bits caking the walls, I swear I am having Epinions.com flashbacks when I was stuck only writing about horror for them. So many film references. Pretty sure Yan Birch of The People Under the Stairs (Stairmaster) was Dr. Phibes so yeah there is a lot of inside jokes but no good humor here, folks. Just gore, some T&A and a substantial body count.

Trapped in a shaft and haven't had lunch. Cannibalism yet?

Castle Freak

Hiyas guys and gals, I am back. After a stay over with my folks, I have returned to bring about some more films to review, facts to share and a message we can all take in our hearts. Or maybe some trivia. Today's film hails from director/screenwriter Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dagon, The Black Cat, Robot Jox and Fortress) so yeah, there may be a horror theme in it. Produced by Albert Band and Charles Band of Full Moon Entertainment, we are getting an eyeful. This is Castle Freak.

Finally! A castle to do my re-animation projects!

Inheritance can be rewarding, exhausting and more trouble than it's worth.  John Reilly (Jeffery Combs of Re-Animator, From Beyond, Fortress, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, House on Haunted Hill, Star Trek: Enterprise and SharkMan) his stunning wife Susan (Barbara Crampton of Chopping Mall, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Puppetmaster, Trancers II, Robot Wars, The Bold and the Beautiful, The Lords of Salem and Road Games) and blind daughter Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide of Major Dad, In Living Color, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and Castle Freak) all travel to Italy to see this 12^th century castle John has inherited from the late Duchess D' Orsino (Helen Stirling of The Gay Lord Quex, BBC Sunday-Night Theatre, Sara Crewe and Angels One Five).

At the advice of the estate's executor, the three stay in the castle until they can unload it. Who wants to own a castle??!!!   I mean, other than me.   Thanks to exposition we get to find out the Reilly family are not a bunch of happy bunnies as Susan apparently blames John for the death of their son and the blinding of their daughter due to a drunk driving accident.  Awkward?   Oh just a touch.

Sweetie, that is a natural cycle for a young woman.

However, our turbulent trio is blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk in the dungeon.  A bizarre and freakish monster locked away.  No sooner does he hear voices that did not originate from his head, he snaps off his own thumb to release him from his manacles and allow him to scurry about.  Ah manacles.   They must think the sun shines on his ass.

Attica! Attica! Attica!!

With a need for blood,(or Italian food. Pick Italian, dude!) our warped monster roams the countryside in search of victims to work out his frustrations on.   Hey, can't really blame him. Chained up and more or less, left to die?  I'd be pissed too.

Unexplained noises in the night, objects broken without anyone knowing how and Rebecca claims a stranger breaks into her bedroom.  Oh wait, sexist response!  Women!  Be quiet!  Piggish menfolk have no time for your twaddle.  Suddenly the housekeeper is missing...after she fails to find said freak in his cell.  Wait a minute...she may be in on this.

Deaths and disappearances are stacking up including the hooker John picked up after Susan didn't want anything to do with him that night. John starts to unravel who the monster might actually be but can he do it before the grotesque grabs his wife and kid?

As a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, I can appreciate Gordon's bizarre and macabre story.   He certainly liked using Jeffery Combs and Barbara Crampton over and over as they have excellent chemistry together.

In spite of this being a Full Moon Entertainment production, they did not use the castle via Subspecies.   Too bad, you could move the story to another country and boom! Reuse that creepy as hell castle.   Um cat fans, you might not appreciate an orange tabby made snack food for said freak.

Could have done without those cutaway scenes too.   Eerie music setting the tone, a dark story and an excellent cast setting the scene.  From the VHS, DVD and Blu-ray, the versions range from 88 mins American release,  90 UK release and finally 95 minutes.   

I have the full 95 and it is...creepy, disturbing and what I come to expect from Stuart Gordon.

Definitely not one for the kids, parents.  Trust me.

For the last time, there are no re-animated corpses around here!!

Horror I Missed: Re-Animator

Hello all and welcome back to the week. Things are moving a bit hectic around here. Trying to get funds together to get Rotten Ramblin' On to Sound Cloud so everyone can enjoy them including our earliest stuff when we didn't understand stuff like dialing back decibels or compressing files so they sound clearer. At any rate, Rotten Reelz is back with more Horror I Missed. Now to clarify by that I mean Horror films that genuinely had a scary premise, a more or less original story or something tapped into by a good writer. Today we explore the dark and disturbing storyline of one Dr. Herbert West, his gruesome experiments and the impact this H. P. Lovecraft novella had on the screen viewers. This is Re-Animator.

Jeffery Combs or Morrisey in this light?

Based loosely on the horrific novella, Herbert West: Re-Animator and brought to us by veteran Director Stuart Gordon (From Beyond, Dolls, Robot Jox, Daughter of Darkness, The Pit and the Pendulum, Fortress, Castle Freak, Space Truckers, Dagon and Stuck) comes the well paced Sci-Fi/Horror/Comedy that launches so many questions and sadly turned more than a few stomachs with its practical effects, gore gags and slapstick comedy in a dark enviroment. In the University of Zurich Institute via Switzerland, Herbert West (Jeffery Combs of Frightmare, The Man with Two Brains, From Beyond, Dead Man Walking, Freddy's Nightmares, Robot Jox, The Pit and the Pendulum, Trancers II, Doctor Mordrid, Love and a .45, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Enterprise and Voodoo Moon) brings his teacher back from the dead but with horrendous side effects screaming to the authorities he brought him back from the dead.

Wow finally a companion for Jan in the Pan!

So with impending expulsion looming over his head, West makes his way back to the states and enrolls his further studies to Miskatonic University in New England. He rents a room from a medical studen Dan Cain (Bruce Abbot of Tag: The Assassination Game, Velvet, Command 5, Summer Heat, Bad Dreams and Dark Justice) and asks to convert the basement into his own laboratory. Cain feels a bit put out by these requests but really needs the money agrees to this conditions. West demonstrates the effect of the formula with Cain's cat Rufus who "died under mysterious terms" as he is brought back from death.

Heads up! Hehe if I had sides they would be splitting.

Cain's fiancee Megan (Barbara Crampton of Love Thy Neighbor, Body Double, Chopping Mall, From Beyond, Puppetmaster, Robot Wars, Guiding Light, Space Truckers, The Bold and the Beautiful and The Lords of Salem) already creeped out by West witnesses this experiment and freaks out. Dan tries telling her father who is dean of the university but he will hear none of this, convinced they are both cuckoo for coco puffs, the dean bars them from the hospital so Cain and West have to sneak into the morgue and re-animate a corpse. The dosage reacts differently with different people so now we have a zombie with a pre-psychotic rage. If he was a necromancer I would tell him to raise an army like that and go forth and ruin the realm. The dean walks in on all the crazy but he himself gets killed by said zombie causing West to kill it with a bone saw.

With madness piling up, Cain and West have to figure a way to resolve this, publicate the findings and prove that tampering in God's domain is not only possible but very feasible.

Will the boys succeed? Is this experiment possibly unethical? How much karo syrup is Gordon out of pocket?

For a nine hundred thousand dollar budget, Re-Animator pulled in over $2 million making half of its money on opening weekend via 1985 on October 20^th. The special effect department spent over 25 gallons of fake blood during the shoot. That had to be fun to clean up. What director Stuart Gordon and writer Dennis Paoli (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Castle Freak, Mortal Sins, Body Snatchers, Dagon, The Dentist and The Black Cat) were trying to create was to be true to the source material ended up a gross parody of Frankenstein.

This has spawn a cult following to the likes of Evil Dead and Dead Alive fans to the point of making two additional sequels.  For me as a Stuart Gordon fan, I always love that a shovel ends up being used as a weapon at some point in time of the flick. Still love the fact the name Hans Gruber is used in this movie and immediately I think of the late great Alan Rickman in Die Hard.

 

Maybe they're playing "Hide the Soul", like Chucky does.