Girls Guns and Blood

Hey kiddies! I have returned. So after a few fistfuls of horror, I was informed I have been dipping into the genre a bit too often. Now mind you, I really don't mind Horror as a whole but a few select fans have pointed out it feels a tad bit like the Epinions.com days and they were hoping I had something else. Well thanks to a bit of write ups for Dustin Ferguson and I suspect a clever girl who starts in today's movie is why I was asked by the co-writer/co-director/executive producer Robert Rowland (Fallen Angels, Ice Scream: The ReMix, Dead Man's Fuel and The Cottages) if I wanted to take a look at an action comedy shot in grind house fashion. A tale of woe with brothel getting robbed by a ruthless gang of thieves. Apparently these ladies decide a little payback is in order. This is Girls, Guns and Blood.

This kitty came to play.

Brought to us by production companies, Gaucho Productions, Porr Hund Entertainment and Rowling Bones Productions these fine collective of gals are not all they appear to be. No don't jump to vampires and werewolves just yet. Simmer down. Penned along with Rowland, writer Jeff O' Brien (Blind Heat, Alien Incursion, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Bone Dry, Prey for the Beast and Attack of the Giant Leeches) the two team-up to ramp enthusiasm, libidos and action fans to a grade A all-out crazy. We open with a chain of events in reverse, catching up to the actions that lead to these soon-to-be met consequences. A piano concerto as we witness an aftermath of bondage, breakage and beatings. I didn't say it was a Disney film, gang but hang in there. Five men hightail it with goodies in a bag and get to their truck as a curvy redhead Monique (Rebecca Love of The Departed, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Pirates, Bewitched Housewives and Cleavagefield)comes out in a black teddy and a six shooter, looking to put some hurt on these not-so good ole boys. For those guessing, she's pissed off.

Flashback to yesterday, DBIC(dirt bag in charge) Jamie (James W. Evermore of Dixieland, Salem, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Hap and Leonard, Free State of Jones, NCIS: New Orleans, The Cottages and Happy Death Day 2U) enlists the aid of his merry men as they are off to do some crimes. Yeah a joyous bunch to be sure. Our busy brothel has had activities cut short as they are having a little pow wow, um...hoe down? Community meeting? Yeah that will do.

Yes boys, hers is bigger than yours.

And before I go any further, yes male readers there's titty in it. For my female readers, I would like to apologize but you honestly cannot fathom how many times I am asked about that in any Sci-fi Fantasy, Action or Horror film I review. So yeah there are in fact gobsmack amounts of titty. How much is a gobsmack? What am I? Google? Work it out.

Popping out of the pool water in slow-mo status is Vixen (Adult actress Cherie DeVille of Mandingo's MILFs 2, Sex and Submission, The Grinch XXX Parody, The Coven Wives, Prime MILF 5, Lesbian Lessons Vol. 2 and Lesbian Anatomy) and frankly I thought Siren would have been a better name. Going medieval, nautical and Greek tragedy like.  Fine, I thought it was clever. Vixen is attached to a muscle bound nerdy guy in glasses. Yeah that imagery baffles me as well. Kaiser (Stuntman/martial artist Woody Almazan of Girls Guns and Blood) has had a money SNAFU and Vixen informs Kaiser he's on bread and water until that money has been recovered.   A balaclava and dark clothed wearing gentleman has to correct this over-site or he will be wearing parts of his lower anatomy as earrings.

Now with the meeting underway with the ladies, Kitty (Christine Nguyen of Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, House Broken, Kaboom, Sexual Witchcraft, Tanya X, Hollywood Sex Wars, Baby Dolls Behind Bars, Vigilante Diaries, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner and After Midnight), Trix (Adult actress Britney Amber of Family Business, Couples Vacation, The Training of O, Prime MILF 5, Hot and Mean, Barb Wire XXX, The Next Morning, First Dates Volume 2 and Superbound), Beretta (Adult actress Kleio Valentien of Diary of a Nanny Vol. 8, Dirty Talk, Taking Control, Infernal Restraints, This Ain't Fallout XXX, Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Hogtied and Meet My Girlfriend) and Angel (Cody Renee Cameron of No Respect for the Dead, Gods of the Arena: The eSports Dramedy, The Neon Demon, Deadly Sins, Officer Downe, The Obsidian Curse, The Sex Trip, Golden State, The Cottages, Handy Dandy and Girls Guns and Blood).  They are to partake in a high rollers party. Yes that is serious coin and these boys are looking to spend and get their money's worth.

This thong is chafing. Ew.

Warned they are about to embark on some serious freaky requests, Monique tells the girls they are in charge and brothel strong arm Thumper (Chaz Taylor of Hairmetal Shotgun Zombie Massacre: The Movie, Anna Nicole & the Starlight Angel, The Suplex Duplex Comple, Indie Girl, Project Jyn and Lone Star Deception) in case anything goes completely pear shaped. With a couple of extra hands Loni (Holly Reidenbach of Girls Guns and Blood) Emily (Danielle Evon Ploeger of Littlefield, Last Girl Standing, The Prey, A Room Full of Nothing and Girls Guns and Blood) and Vice (Jamie Hooks of Girls Guns and Blood), it's all hands on deck for the party.

The craziness unfolds, the girls band together to get things done and revenge. So yes some good hand-to-hand fights, gunfights and some chases. Hell Trix is rocking a compound bow with a slow recurve, so that's at least 65 to 80 lb pull back. Kitty packing a retractable steel baton, twirling it like this wasn't her first rodeo. Could have been some seriously kinky clients I but I would be speculating at that and Berretta seems to prefer hand-to-hand. Having great handheld for close-ups, POV and action catching, the cinematography is vastly better than I was expecting.

With the vibe of Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, a dash of Rick Jacobson's Bitch Slap and a pinch of Andy Sidaris' Guns, the girls deliver the goods. It's there for you. Action, good comedy, bit of the ultra violence and yes, the aforementioned titty. Ladies, I swear you haven't an idea how often this is asked. On a weekly basis damn near. These bad girls will get their men or die trying. 

So it's available VOD on iTunes, Amazon and Google Play.  So if 75 minutes of girls kicking ass, looking good while they do it sounds like your kinda flick, give it a view.

No one dumps me on Messenger!

 

An Interview of Christine Nguyen

So today we have another interview. Our lady of the hour is an actress, model, spokesperson and sports enthusiast. Involved in various charities and organizations, she may actually get time to herself. I found her to be positively captivating and very fun to talk to. This is Christine Nguyen.

 

 

Guys! I think we need some ibuprofen!

RRR: So I absolutely loved Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre. Your girl was no nonsense and kind of a badass. I am fairly versed with Jim Wynorski's body of work as well as Fred Olen Ray’s. I was just curious, what makes you want to partake in these projects?

CN: Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray do write a lot of sexy stuff, but their movies are a lot of fun to shoot because the storylines are campy and comedic and being that they played all the time on HBO, Showtime and Cinemax, they really helped to put me on the map. People like to refer to this genre of entertainment as softcore but I call it erotica. Why do I go for these types of roles? Simple… I am a working actress. The genre is not one that bothers me because the act of lovemaking is a natural one to act out. Key factor here… acting. Just as when you watch an action movie and a sniper shoots someone, it is not really happening, get it… acting.

RRR: We made contact because of Super Ninja Bikini Babes and I had a blast reviewing it and you seem to think I did a decent enough write up. What was appealing about that role? Did you enjoy manga, comics and anime?

CN: I watched anime all through college, so I was ecstatic to be able to work on this.. Fred Olen Ray wrote some parts for me because he seemed to like my work and my comedic timing, for which I will always be grateful.

RRR: What is it like to work with porn actors?

CN: They are, for the most part, ideal to work with for erotica because of the obvious reasons. In the beginning, it was difficult to get actors to sign onto these projects because they were worried about nudity or sexually related content. Funny, once they realized that these aired continuously on tv, sometimes even primetime and not just late at night, many changed their minds. The advent of shows like True Blood and Game of Thrones also probably helped changed the minds of many who before couldn’t see themselves in these roles. But, it all comes down to money though in the end. The more money you have for a production, the more time you can spend on the script and cinematography. We work on very limited budgets for erotica and that is one of the main reasons why there are so many, we call them “love scenes” in the shows. It’s a formula to fill airtime. Five or six love scenes at 3-5 minutes each (I can’t remember the exact length they need to be) can fill up airtime that otherwise would be quite costly to shoot and develop with a more in depth script.

Mummy and mister?

 

RRR: So clearly you model and I was wondering which came first, acting or modeling; or was it a natural progression of both?

CN: I started theater in middle school, loved it and kept pursuing it up until I went to college at UT in Austin. My parents wanted me to focus on school. I started modeling because a random photographer took my picture while I was walking through campus my freshman year and sent it to an agent in town that ended up signing me. The first thing I booked was a McDonald's commercial and then I did some commercial modeling, catalogues, editorials, etc. My parents really didn't want me to make a career of it, so I went to law school.

While I was in law school, Playboy got my picture somehow for a show they were doing called Sexy Girls Next Door. Girls sent their videos in to see if they could be the next Playboy model. When the producer got a hold of me for this, I told them I was in law school and didn't have time to make a video; but they said they had already chosen me to be one of the girls on the show so don’t worry about the video, they’d make one for me if I would come to LA to shoot the show. After a few weeks of persuasion, I finally decided to take a week off from school (without my parents knowing) and go to LA. I thought it would be an exciting adventure. Long story short, I won the contest and did the photoshoot. Then the West Coast casting director, Linda Kenny asked me if I would like to be in a couple of their books (what they call the other Playboy magazines they put out like Exotic Beauties and Nudes) and I said sure so they extended my stay to shoot with Kim Mizuno for those. While I was in LA, the performing bug grabbed me again and that was that. I finished my year of law school and moved to LA where I hooked up with Playboy again and started working on The Weekend Flash, Totally Busted and a slew of other Playboy shows for their channel, and at the same time booking more commercial mainstream work.

RRR: Let's talk a bit about Vigilante Diaries. This was an awesome take on the superhero genre. But really felt like The Losers and The Expendables at the same time. Still decent storyline and action, but dammit they didn't give you any guns, knives or let you fight for or against Michael Jai White.

CN: Hehe.., yeah, that would have been nice. My character was brought back from the webseries so maybe it might not have fit so well if they did. Vigilante Diaries, starring Jason Mewes (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, The Night Crew, The Last House and Halloweed) started as a webseries for Crackle, a subsidiary of Sony. The webseries did exactly what all webseries hope to accomplish and got them funding to make a feature. Like all actors, I hyped up it up on social media that I would be in it, but folks were a bit bummed I didn't have a bigger part. Again, we work with what we get. Christian Sesma, the director of Vigilante Diaries did offer me a juicier role in another one of his movies, The Night Crew, but I had already signed on for a lead role in Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre so I wasn’t able to take it. These are the times when I wish I could clone myself. It kills me to pass up opportunities.

RRR: Still would have been cool seeing you strapped with an AK, shooting up guys. Just a thought.

CN: You and me both! Well you can in my latest movie, Girls, Guns and Blood. My character is really badass in that.

RRR: I managed to find the episodes of TV you’ve been in: Dexter, CSI: Criminal Scene Investigation, House of Lies. So I am guessing you are a "go to girl" for loads of these kind of TV shows. Why do you suppose that is?

CN: Yeah, I think I’ve played a stripper or “bikini girl” for almost every network and major cable show there is out there. Work is work. When you start your career with Playboy, it’s hard not to get typecast.

RRR: I have found more than a few softcore films that seems to be humor and/horror based. You look like you are having fun. I also noticed you were in Bitch Slap with America Olivio and my brain just fell in the gutter.

CN: Hehehe… cute.

There will be probing.

 

RRR: So you have some new projects that are in the works. What are those and can you give any details without too many spoilers? We don't want you to get into trouble. Maybe we can some dates when these are coming out.

CN: Yes, I have a dark humor, grindhouse film called Girls, Guns and Blood coming out shortly, a sci-fi/horror series, The Cottages that is in production right now and I’m also co-producing, writing and hosting a sports talk show, Nguyenning Picks for YouTube that I am trying to work with some investors in Atlanta on getting picked up for a cable series, so cross your fingers! One of my passions is sports because I admire the dedication athletes have for their craft.

RRR: Looks like you have worked with a lot of different stars. Is there any one male or female you really liked working with and would you want to do future jobs with them?

CN: Director-wise, I would love to work with Todd Phillips again. His brilliant, warped sense of humor is inline with mine. Bradley Cooper was great to work with and just an all-around genuinely nice guy. I kinda quietly geeked out when I got to work with Barbra Streisand and Robert De Niro.

RRR: So this is you then? This is what you do.

CN: Yup, I'm a working actress and I just want to perform because that is my passion. I didn't ever want to be a star. I started in theater and just want to entertain people. B Movies have been good to me, I have done TV and other films and I love what I do. At the end of the day I am about the work, being funny and having a hell of a time doing all of it.

RRR: What do you recommend the mindset be for people looking to get into acting? What is the most important message you can get across?

CN: I would say don't do it unless you like to perform. Don't do it for the money, it may not happen, don't do it for fame, it may not happen. But if you have the passion, you need to stick out, have fun and enjoy this career.

RRR: Well gang, Ms, Nguyen was fun, warm and genuinely a wonderful conversationalist. Here at Rotten Reelz Reviews, I wish you good fortune and cannot wait to see the next big thing that you totally crush and smile while doing it.

CN: Thank you so much, Jake. It was an absolute pleasure. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me. Much love to all your Rotten Reels Review fans!

A gaggle of girls in the woods.

Super Ninja Doll

Okay and I am back. So today is a bit odd. Got the recommendation and request I review this and...I am perplexed.  I'm not The Cinema Snob and this is out of my usual bailiwick of film reviews, but I gave my word (really gotta stop doing that) and that was before I knew what it was.   So I am having Vampire Erotic Tales/ Big Tits Dragon flashbacks right now.  Yeah let's not mince words.  Described as a live-action anime but this is clearly a porno.  Maybe softcore possibly but a porn nonetheless.  Spoilers: There will be more colorful titles with these  various filmography.  I will attempt to find the least mind blowing ones, okay?   This is Super Ninja Doll a.k.a. Super Ninja Bikini Babes.

Tee-hee. Higher education.

Our credits start to a ample girl in a velour outfit and a mask of a girl with the deadest eyes I have seen on a doll. Treated to a watered down version of Wipeout as our stars' names hit the screen.

Brought to use by infamous mockbuster/softcore director/writer Nicholas Medina wink, wink (Dear Santa, Billy Frankenstein, Emanuelle 2000, Bikini Airways, Tomb of the Werewolf, Bikini Chain Gang), we follow the story as we open on what I thought looked like a superimposed set from the classic Dr. Who as alien warlord Gorath (AVN winner Evan Stone of Justice League of Porn Star Heroes, This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX, Betrayal, Big Breast Nurses 6, Just Jenna 2 and Corrupt Schoolgirls 3) and evil Queen Tantella (Nicole Sheridan of Carmen Loves Girls, The Surrender of O, The Cougar Hunter, Carpool, The It Girl and Wife Switch 12) has open a vortex in time and space via a cosmic storm (that old chestnut is just going to make superhumans, my friends) and steal the greatest female scientific minds of the world, drain them of their knowledge and take over the planet. 

I AM KIROK!!!

Buddy, it's Earth and you got recipes for pumpkin spice lattes, cost-effective, environment friendly power and boner pills. Not sure what you can overthrow with that knowledge but have at it.

To recharge his energy, Korath needs a sex droid to...boost him. That was a sentence I just wrote. Urge to kill...rising. Yeah shockingly enough we waited a whole 4 minutes and 40 seconds for our first sex scene. NO, there are no pictures for that, pervs. Go rent it.

Eriko (Christine Nguyen of Debbie Does Dallas Again, The Mummy's Kiss: 2^nd Dynasty, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Voodoo Dollz, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle), a comic book loving co-ed that thinks it would be cool to be a superhero and go on madcap adventures, not unlike the Goonies...but with sex.  Eriko explains to her friend Yumi (Kitty of Singapore Sin, Oriental Orgy World 5, Hot Asian Fever, Bi Accident and Voodoo Dollz) that Super Ninja Doll and all corresponding heroes and villains get their strength through sex.   Enter next sex scene at 11 minutes 47 seconds. Gee, I wonder what is going to happen.

Kamen Rider got that sex change he always wanted.

Gortah makes it to Earth and seeks out one of the scientists that will give he oh so such secrets that will render the inhabitants of this planet to their knees. Alas she has developed temporary amnesia so, sex. What? Were you surprised?   She appears to now be trapped in the comic book Super Ninja Doll. Sooooo...Gorath and Tantella are not just from another planet but an alternative universe? Again, not that strangest thing I have viewed for this blog.

One swift bonk to the old coconut and she is out cold, waking in a strange reality where she is given a talisman transmogrifying her into SUPER NINJA DOLL!!! Hmm so far this just sounds like Salior Moon without overly sexualizes really young girls. Kudos!

So Eriko is off to the Bureau of Scientific Strangeness to talk about a girl trapped in her comic book. Again, these are words being made into sentence structure that I wrote. I feel...so off. But don't worry, teen gang.  Agent Canola (Ted Newsom of Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold, Deadly Tales Witchouse II: Blood Coven, A Passion to Kill, and The Craven Cove Murders)is on the case. Must resist slippery and pliant jokes... Must...resist.

In order to harness Super Ninja Doll's true power, Eriko must...well bang like a drum at a marching band. Yeah, really. Girls, Women, Men you name it. She's gotta put herself out there.

The queen clearly needs more minions.

A few side notes.   Many EVA or floor mat foam died for Stone's costume and he looks like a Chaos Marine out of Warhammer 40K (Table top strategic game of massing armies against one another, yes I am a nerd. What of it?) and Nicole Sheridan is clearly wearing a modified Slave Leia outfit. The sets are...well fairly elaborate and surprisingly well done and truth be told the sex scenes are softcore so...yay?

Evan Stone and Christine Nguyen are actually entertaining but Stone seems to be almost like a real life Zap Brannigan. His voice is even close. It was a bit eerie. Hell even the fight choreography was passable and I am a veteran of Ultraman and Godzilla rubber suit fights.

This material is superior to others in that it has a plot, story and character arc of which our heroine saves the world...with her vagina. Super, I think. 

Who's a naughty schoolgirl?   You are.