Girls Guns and Blood

Hey kiddies! I have returned. So after a few fistfuls of horror, I was informed I have been dipping into the genre a bit too often. Now mind you, I really don't mind Horror as a whole but a few select fans have pointed out it feels a tad bit like the Epinions.com days and they were hoping I had something else. Well thanks to a bit of write ups for Dustin Ferguson and I suspect a clever girl who starts in today's movie is why I was asked by the co-writer/co-director/executive producer Robert Rowland (Fallen Angels, Ice Scream: The ReMix, Dead Man's Fuel and The Cottages) if I wanted to take a look at an action comedy shot in grind house fashion. A tale of woe with brothel getting robbed by a ruthless gang of thieves. Apparently these ladies decide a little payback is in order. This is Girls, Guns and Blood.

This kitty came to play.

Brought to us by production companies, Gaucho Productions, Porr Hund Entertainment and Rowling Bones Productions these fine collective of gals are not all they appear to be. No don't jump to vampires and werewolves just yet. Simmer down. Penned along with Rowland, writer Jeff O' Brien (Blind Heat, Alien Incursion, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Bone Dry, Prey for the Beast and Attack of the Giant Leeches) the two team-up to ramp enthusiasm, libidos and action fans to a grade A all-out crazy. We open with a chain of events in reverse, catching up to the actions that lead to these soon-to-be met consequences. A piano concerto as we witness an aftermath of bondage, breakage and beatings. I didn't say it was a Disney film, gang but hang in there. Five men hightail it with goodies in a bag and get to their truck as a curvy redhead Monique (Rebecca Love of The Departed, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Pirates, Bewitched Housewives and Cleavagefield)comes out in a black teddy and a six shooter, looking to put some hurt on these not-so good ole boys. For those guessing, she's pissed off.

Flashback to yesterday, DBIC(dirt bag in charge) Jamie (James W. Evermore of Dixieland, Salem, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Hap and Leonard, Free State of Jones, NCIS: New Orleans, The Cottages and Happy Death Day 2U) enlists the aid of his merry men as they are off to do some crimes. Yeah a joyous bunch to be sure. Our busy brothel has had activities cut short as they are having a little pow wow, um...hoe down? Community meeting? Yeah that will do.

Yes boys, hers is bigger than yours.

And before I go any further, yes male readers there's titty in it. For my female readers, I would like to apologize but you honestly cannot fathom how many times I am asked about that in any Sci-fi Fantasy, Action or Horror film I review. So yeah there are in fact gobsmack amounts of titty. How much is a gobsmack? What am I? Google? Work it out.

Popping out of the pool water in slow-mo status is Vixen (Adult actress Cherie DeVille of Mandingo's MILFs 2, Sex and Submission, The Grinch XXX Parody, The Coven Wives, Prime MILF 5, Lesbian Lessons Vol. 2 and Lesbian Anatomy) and frankly I thought Siren would have been a better name. Going medieval, nautical and Greek tragedy like.  Fine, I thought it was clever. Vixen is attached to a muscle bound nerdy guy in glasses. Yeah that imagery baffles me as well. Kaiser (Stuntman/martial artist Woody Almazan of Girls Guns and Blood) has had a money SNAFU and Vixen informs Kaiser he's on bread and water until that money has been recovered.   A balaclava and dark clothed wearing gentleman has to correct this over-site or he will be wearing parts of his lower anatomy as earrings.

Now with the meeting underway with the ladies, Kitty (Christine Nguyen of Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, House Broken, Kaboom, Sexual Witchcraft, Tanya X, Hollywood Sex Wars, Baby Dolls Behind Bars, Vigilante Diaries, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner and After Midnight), Trix (Adult actress Britney Amber of Family Business, Couples Vacation, The Training of O, Prime MILF 5, Hot and Mean, Barb Wire XXX, The Next Morning, First Dates Volume 2 and Superbound), Beretta (Adult actress Kleio Valentien of Diary of a Nanny Vol. 8, Dirty Talk, Taking Control, Infernal Restraints, This Ain't Fallout XXX, Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Hogtied and Meet My Girlfriend) and Angel (Cody Renee Cameron of No Respect for the Dead, Gods of the Arena: The eSports Dramedy, The Neon Demon, Deadly Sins, Officer Downe, The Obsidian Curse, The Sex Trip, Golden State, The Cottages, Handy Dandy and Girls Guns and Blood).  They are to partake in a high rollers party. Yes that is serious coin and these boys are looking to spend and get their money's worth.

This thong is chafing. Ew.

Warned they are about to embark on some serious freaky requests, Monique tells the girls they are in charge and brothel strong arm Thumper (Chaz Taylor of Hairmetal Shotgun Zombie Massacre: The Movie, Anna Nicole & the Starlight Angel, The Suplex Duplex Comple, Indie Girl, Project Jyn and Lone Star Deception) in case anything goes completely pear shaped. With a couple of extra hands Loni (Holly Reidenbach of Girls Guns and Blood) Emily (Danielle Evon Ploeger of Littlefield, Last Girl Standing, The Prey, A Room Full of Nothing and Girls Guns and Blood) and Vice (Jamie Hooks of Girls Guns and Blood), it's all hands on deck for the party.

The craziness unfolds, the girls band together to get things done and revenge. So yes some good hand-to-hand fights, gunfights and some chases. Hell Trix is rocking a compound bow with a slow recurve, so that's at least 65 to 80 lb pull back. Kitty packing a retractable steel baton, twirling it like this wasn't her first rodeo. Could have been some seriously kinky clients I but I would be speculating at that and Berretta seems to prefer hand-to-hand. Having great handheld for close-ups, POV and action catching, the cinematography is vastly better than I was expecting.

With the vibe of Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, a dash of Rick Jacobson's Bitch Slap and a pinch of Andy Sidaris' Guns, the girls deliver the goods. It's there for you. Action, good comedy, bit of the ultra violence and yes, the aforementioned titty. Ladies, I swear you haven't an idea how often this is asked. On a weekly basis damn near. These bad girls will get their men or die trying. 

So it's available VOD on iTunes, Amazon and Google Play.  So if 75 minutes of girls kicking ass, looking good while they do it sounds like your kinda flick, give it a view.

No one dumps me on Messenger!