Cult Film Week: Coffy

Hey kiddies and welcome to the last day of Cult Film Week and I hope you have been having a blast as much as I have.  This time around I wanted to speak about exploitation director Jack Hill.  From his early horror movies like writing The Terror and Blood Bath of which he directed both; to the wild notion of blowing up Pam Grier back in the day over the major screens and drive-ins.  So pour me a cup, add a little sugar and some milk cause that how I take it.   This is Coffy.

Dirty Harry ain't got nothing on her...

Spoilers are murder, baby.

Right off the bat this film does not screw around and gets your right in the heart of the action.  A smack pusher and his lackey are rounding up any snowbirds that wanna get their groove on for a taste of the candy. Dig?    Coffy gets back to their rathole and is just frenzied for a fix…or is she?   After a few quick lookieloos at the goodies she feels the best to freshen up for her sugar man is with…a sawed off twelve gauge double barreled shotgun?!!  Sheesh good thing he didn’t make a weight joke cause God only knows what might have happened.  Our pusher man is now minus most of his head and his assistant don’t know nothing about nothing.  Realizing he is useless Coffy offers him the choice: take a fix and risk not getting the dose right or lose the top of his head as well.

Pam Grier is an optional extra with the Lincoln Continental. 

Now you may be asking yourselves why Coffy is so hell bent to drop these turkeys and what possessed her to be so damn angry?  Well not more than a few minutes of back story let you know that Coffy’s 11 year old sister got conned into heroin, got hooked and is going through methadone treatment at the very hospital she is a nurse at.   Yeah if that isn’t reason enough to clean up the streets hell I cannot really think of a better one.  A risky but clever enough plan is to play the wide eyed innocent girl that goes back to her targets’ pads, puts on the moves and takes the suckas out.   

 Sorry got caught up in the lingo there.  Whew, okay I’m back. Coffy’s Ex, Carter (William Elliott of They Call it Murder, Night of the Lepus, Hangup, Adam-12, and Police Story) always has her back and truly cares about her.  They head back to his place so she can take a break from the hospital when Carter unloads that his department has been bought off by the Mafioso.  Cops are taking bribes left and right and Carter is a straight edge cop that believes in the system.  Just after that bold statement two men wearing ski masks come in and start to be the living crap out of the cat and slap Coffy around as a witness.   Carter is rushed to the hospital but after that severe a beating it is unknown if Carter will ever walk again.  This of course just fuels Coffy more to continue her vigilante ways.  Her lover City Councilor Howard Brunswick (Booker Bradshaw of Star Trek, Julia, The Name of the Game, Skullduggery and The Strawberry Statement) believes in using the law to benefit the people and brother she is head over heels for this smooth cat and it is clearly illustrated in the scene after the night club get together.  

Yes for the younger viewers or parents of these younger viewers be advised LOTS OF NUDITY.  After her *ahem* rigorous evening Coffy sets her sights on a pimp named King George (Robert DoQui of The Man, Willie Dynamite, Treasure of Matecumbe, Guyana: Cult of the Damned, Insight and Robocop) who ought to have killed his costume designer.  No kidding Huggy Bear would have lost his lunch from that much orange.   George runs the ladies and heroine for the man with the plan Don Arturo Vitroni( Allan Arbus of M.A.S.H.)  Major Freedman of M.A.S.H. is running the dope racket??!!!  No, say it ain’t so baby.   From catfights, gunfights, taking down thugs and a few car chases, this film gave Pam the look of a take no prisoners bad ass. 

Either these curtains go or I do!

Kind of wished Omar (Sid Haig of The Big Bird Cage, Black Mama, White Mama, Foxy Brown, Savage Sisters, House of 1000 Corpses, and House of the Dead 2) got some more to do in this flick other than just look menacing through most of it but hey I am a Haig fan so sue me.  It’s gritty, dirty and just done like things are in down town.   Underrated and unappreciated, I had a blast watching this lady terminator go to town.

Damn that is a nice car.

Hey all.  Just touching base on a cult following that could only be rivaled by Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spin-off show Angel.  I refer to those pesky kids, the Winchester boys.  Driving in their father’s ’67 Impala these two very different lads dispense justice for the victims of the monsters that go bump in the night.   So sharpen your stakes, pour your silver bullet molds and above all don’t be a douche nozzle.   This is Supernatural Season 1.

Spoilers are all around us man!

Our pilot opens with a happy prosperous young man Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki of Gilmore Girls, House of Wax and Friday the 13^th) pre-law student, straight A’s and hotty for a girlfriend Jessica (Adrianne Palicki of Lone Star, Legion, Wonder Woman and Red Dawn) and over all life is feeling good.  The two lovebirds have a little celebration nookie and fall asleep (No fellas, this is CW so no skin on that level) when Sam hears a noise in the apartment, goes to investigate and handle the burglar.  After a fairly intense fight choreography we can see Sambo has had some training only to get tossed on his butt by…his little big brother Dean (Jensen Ackles of Dawson’s Creek, Still Life, Smallville, My Bloody Valentine and Batman: Under the Red Hood).   After nursing a few egos and bruises, Dean tells Sam their dad has gone hunting and hasn’t been back in awhile.   Feels all coded in front of girlfriend Jessica.  Reluctantly Sam joins Dean in pursuit of their wayward father because you see folks the family business is hunting…monsters of all shapes and sizes.

Ahh spoiler you say?  You had 8 years!  Catch up!

Now given that John and Jane Public thinks monsters are nothing more than the work of fiction, cinema and tween writers, our would be heroes have to go incognito.  So on top of less than legal firearms, credit card fraud and posing as Federal officers, our lads do battle with the nastiest freakiest creatures this side of Sunnydale.

The storyline unfolds on what could have made these two seemingly normal guys into hunters of the preternatural and extra-dimensional.    22 years prior the boys’ mother died in a mysterious fire and their father, a Marine recon Vietnam vet could not save her in time.   Finds out there are creatures of myth and legend and they are very real.  To keep his boys safe he will instruct them how to survive, fight and win.  From hand to hand combat, firearms and blades these two could probably be dropped on the F.B.I.’s most wanted list if they wanted to go on a killing spree but they remain knight errants and do what they must to spare families the hell that is their lives.

Admittedly I went into this show kicking and screaming foul to preceding shows. Kolchak: the night stalker Poltergeist : The Legacy, Friday the 13^th The Series and X-Files all dealing with the ghosts and ghoulies so I felt yeah YET another less than original idea.  This bleak, dark background story unfolding simultaneously with the current events quickly changed my mind and established this is a dialogue driven story arc as much as it is character based.   A dysfunctional family that shows their breaking points, their flaws and strengths gives scope to the show and guest stars galore.  Only complaint from the man here, not enough reoccurring eye candy for hetro boys.  

Blade Trinity: Drac is Back...

Hey kids back again with another comic book movie and I can tell how much you will be thrilled and overwhelmed with joy as I crack open the shell of this flick.  So grab your silver nitrate and garlic and practice your most menacing glare.  This is Blade Trinity.

Spoilers are born ready, mother*&ker!

Yes I am touching base with creation of writer/director/producer David Goyer (Batman Begins, Blade, Blade II, The Dark Knight, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and The Dark Knight Rises) who felt while by Stephen Norrington (Alien 3, Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) and Guillermo del Toro (Kronos, Devil’s Backbone, Blade II, Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army) did what he described as a fair job with his scripts, Goyer felt that something was missing from each of the predecessors and took it upon himself to finish the trilogy.   I am not saying the outcome is pure Ed Wood but…well here are some highlights.

Keeping with the comic book anti-hero theme based on Marv Wolfman’s character, Blade is up to his usual shenanigans i.e. lack of stealth.   Guy would not know subtle if it crept up on him and bit him in the ass.  Our story opens in the Syrian Desert allegedly just before Iraq lies the Tomb of Dracula (Boy that would make a great title for a comic) and about 5 low level vamps unearth him and convince him to do away Blade (Wesley Snipes of Passenger 57, Demolition Man, Blade, Blade II, and The Art of War) who half way around the world is torching a warehouse, laying to waste the undead and sneering all the way he does it.  Man I do dig the coat though.  This of course leads to a high speed chase in what looks like the FDR tunnel but in actuality are the tunnels of Montreal.  Yes Canada, imitating the U.S. since 1920 Prohibition.  From bikes to the ’68 Charger our beloved daywalker streaks the road with ash ridden corpses and one accidental human death as he realizes he was framed for manslaughter.   Whoops, his goof.  Sending the F.B.I. to his doorstep Blade and Whistler are attacked and Whistler (Kris Kristofferson of Convoy, A Star is Born, Knights, Blade and Blade II)is caught in his own self destruct blast leaving Blade captured by the feds.   Left to the vampires pulling the strings behind the humans, Blade looks finished but is in fact saved by a cell of vampire hunters, Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Foolproof, Smokin’ Aces and X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and Abigail Whistler (Jessica Biel of Seventh Heaven, Summer Catch, Celluar, Stealth, and The A-Team). 

 Dracula a.k.a. Drake (Dominic Purcell of Mission: Impossible II, Equilibrium and Prison Break) decides his children of the night got soft, lazy and foolish and decides to embrace the challenge that is the daywalker.  Goyer establishes Dracula as the Adam of Vampires the very source but goes back to the Babylonian timelines linking him to Lovercraft elder gods such as Dagon.   An interesting spin but nevertheless the hardcore Marvel fans have issues with this one more so than the first two and here are some of those reasons:  Hannibal King in the comics was an undead P.I.  Think Mick St. John from Moonlight.  Yes, a vampire trying to hold onto humanity by still beating the pavement playing shamus without relying on vampire traits too much.   Tomb of Dracula issues also state Dracula was Vlad Tempus made vampire and not the progenitor but because he held the title “Lord of the Vampires” from his predecessor he can shape shift, come back from ash and even tango with ease.   While I felt Reynold’s one liners were getting a bit tiresome and Snipes really needed to smile every now and then it wasn’t a bad flick.  Just think it could have used a bit more meshing from the previous source material.

The Balls are back!

Hey kids this looks like a potentially good sequel. Grab a head lamp and shovel and let’s start digging.  This is Phantasm 2.

My God look at the size of the spoiler!

Director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm I through IV, Beastmaster, Bubba Ho-tep, and Incident on and Off a Mountain Road) attempts to capture the spirit of its predecessor back in 1979 with a new round of terror.  With A. Michael Baldwin (Mike from the first movie) off on a retreat to learn a musical instrument and devoting his time to such, (James Degros of Drugstore Cowboy, Point Break, Enemy of the State and Vantage Point) tackles the role of Mike as a teen after the death of his brother and being assaulted yet again by the mysterious and devious Tall Man (Angus Scrimm of Phantasm I through IV, Subspecies: The Awakening and I Sell the Dead)  With his undead dwarven minions at his command, the Tall Man seeks to capture young Mike with Reggie (Reggie Bannister of Phantasm I through IV, Bubba Ho-tep, Wishmaster and Cemetery Gates) standing in his way. 
 

With a narrow escape from the evil that conquered their town, Mike is institutionalized for 6 years for what the state felt was clearly a child's overactive imagination as a defense mechanism helping the grieving process to handle the death of his brother Jody.  Reunited with Reggie once more they make their way to Reggie's family home only for Mike to receive a psychic image of the house being destroyed moments before the house is engulfed in flames.
 
 The two men scarred and bereaved from their traumatic experiences, they vow to hunt down and eliminate the Tall Man and stop his fiendish abominations. Mike further receives more psychic effects as he has a rapport with a girl he has never met.  Her small town is cut off from any help as graves become empty, and the dead are used as tools of the Tall Man. Liz (Paula Irvine of Phantasm III, Santa Barbara and Doin’ Time on Planet Earth) contacts Mike through a psychic link enabling our heroes to journey to her rescue.  Allied with the Tall Man are his latest assistants in evil practices simply known as the Grave Diggers.  With little encouragement on Mike’s behalf, Reggie gases up the ‘Cuda and the two hit the road in search of the Tall Man and try to think of a way to end his reign over the dead and God only knows his true purpose for his sinister deed.

 While Don Coscarelli merely hints that the Tall Man is from either a Hell dimension or perhaps another universe all together is never truly known. In a recent interview he exclaimed it was more fun to let people speculate and give him ideas.   Between some unique steady cam as well as track, the $3 million budget allows for improvements of the killer spheres previously constructed by Will Green from his prop effect department Turntable Rentals and Sales.  While this was the largest budget for all for four movies, it did offer additional killer dwarf dispatching weapons, such as a homemade flamethrower and the infamous quad-barrel shotgun which the fans lovingly referred as the Dwarf Cutter.