BloodRayne

Hey there, gang! Well I hope you enjoyed the review of House of the Living Dead as much as I enjoyed watching it!  Oh wait. That is, I hope you found it clever and witty but are completely scared off from watching the forty gallons of diaper gravy.  Speaking of diaper gravy, I am back with an Uwe Boll movie.   I understand if many of you want to jump ship at this point and I can't say I blame you.  For those brave few willing to go down the rabbit hole with me, I thank you. This film as quotes of non-stop action and incredible special effects. Uh huh. With a fairly ensemble cast, this filth-ridden stink nugget slaps its source material in the same fashion Paul W.S. Anderson did for Resident Evil. This is Bloodrayne.

Dhampir genes or Maybeline?

Yes, I did review a Bloodrayne movie.  It was the third one because...well Natassia Malthe is yummy and The Third Reich was the only one of the three films that came close to being ANYTHING like the actual game. Kinda...sorta...okay, not really.  Today's pile of steaming donkey flop hails from the 18^th Century in...Europestown? Europesburg??? Yeah guess what? Never mentioned what region of the planet it is. Medieval Romania perhaps?

Anywho, the fans of the two games will know the hunters gathering, the Brimstone Society is roaming through ancient Romania (seems easy to say that, than I don't have a damn cluesville) because of master vampire Kagan is searching for the ancient relics of Belial. Again, game fans will know this character as the first devil that was overthrown by Mephisto and his various body parts that were scattered all over the planet obtain certain levels of power that you would deem them unholy relics.

In derpity derp derp film?? Belial's an antediluvian vampire of great legend that his body parts make vampires unstoppable.

Subtle vampires. No wonder they're easy to spot.

So three members of the Brimstone Society hear tale of a dhamphir (Human/Vampire Hybrid, yes like Blade) hiding in plain sight in a freakshow for a traveling circus.

The girl Rayne (Kristanna Loken of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, BloodRayne, Painkiller Jane, Bounty Killer, The L Word and Burn Notice) has fewer weaknesses than normal vampires that...constantly gets contradicted. Holy water unneeded in these here parts, folks. Well or tap water does plenty.  Also the town is a bit too nonchalant with a vampire being gacked but whatever.

After leaving the circus were she fed on several members of the troupe (Yup, no thirst issues!) she flees to a neighboring town where a fortune teller explains that Kagan (Sir Ben Kingsley of Coronation Street, Gandhi, Bugsy, Schindler's List, Anne Frank: The Whole Story and The House of Sand and Fog) has become the most powerful vampire of all and the only way to defeat him is to seek out the various body parts of Belial to strengthen her.

Yeah she took a big steaming plot dump there, folks. That was a ton of exposition that relied heavily of a) Fortune teller recognizing a dhampir b) having knowledge of these legends and locations of primordial relics and c) that Rayne might even be up to the task as she was captured by humans for entertainment.    Apparently Kagan has also heard the rumors of a dhampir child IN HIS FRIGGIN KINGDOM...yet has been unable to find her. Really busting ass there, bub.

Now before we go further, let me point out why I am being so harsh to this film. First off, I loved these two games, Rayne is a solid protagonist, fearless and has a cause to help the humans as well as, get even with her undead dick of a dad. Secondly, the storyline using elements of myth, legend and Dante's Inferno just made for good story telling. Third, she got to razzle Nazis!!!!

This film?   NONE OF THAT!!!  Bad Touch Boll didn't give any love to the source material at all.

Back to our cinematic oeuvre. Yeah, I know things. I don't just watch crappy films and critique. Sheesh.

Moving along, Rayne gets recruited by the Council of Ninny Hammers as they plan to kill of Kagan once and for all. You know, that old chestnut.  But enough about deeznuts, we see that Katarin (Michelle Rodriguez of The Fast and the Furious, Resident Evil, S.W.A.T. Blue Crush) doesn't trust Rayne while her mentor Vladimir (Michael Madsen of Resivoir Dogs, Species, Kill Bill Vol: 1, Hell Ride and Vigilantes Diaries) does seem to believe Rayne can be forged into a weapon.  HEY!  Why that's like the game!  When in 1933, Mynce, Rayne's mentor argues with John about Rayne's power could benefit them rather than they kill her.   Jinkies!   You did something right, Boll! Yeah, don't let it go to that pinhead.

Can Rayne and the Knights Who Say Nee thwart Kagan?? What the hell is Meat Loaf and Billy Zane doing in this stinker?? Has Sir Kingsley wiped this film from his IMDB Pro account???

Aside from basically ignoring all the fundamental concepts of the game series, this is a dull, slow paced film with decent CGI, choppy editing, piss poor camera work (PUT THE CAM BACK ON A STABLIZER YOU DAFT KRAUT!!!) visual goofs and so much continuity issues.

The flick turned a decent hack and slash adventure game into a sword and sorcery goofy romp. VO actress Laura Bailey (Dragon Ball Z, BloodRayne, BloodRayne 2,Fullmetal Alchemist, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy XIII, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim- Dawnguard and Gears of War 4), the original Rayne of the games must have been embarrassed as hell to see this flick.

Just loved some of the goofs. Our "director" part of the crowd watching the dhampir getting tortured is wearing an Omega wrist watch in the medieval crowd, Black Powder from China is a stupid line. 18^th century. FLINTLOCKS been around a while that point...for say about oh...200 years, you ass! Kagan's half-assed henchman, a vampire was able to cross running water and ride his horse out in the daylight. Um, say doesn't that contradict at least two legends??

Non stop action? No one was seated during the Billy Zane dictates a letter scene!!! You want a realistic subtitle?   BloodRayne: The Colon Stopper! Never has your ass fallen asleep so quickly!

So yes if you need a film tropes drinking game, this is your movie. You want to take your brain off the hook for 94 minutes? This is your movie. If you want complex characters, fascinating epic struggle against good and evil and developed plot that would stagger the naysayers of the ages??? Go get a decent book. 

Hot Topic Actionwear!

Rotten Ramblin' On # 3: The Evils of Uwe Boll.

Well  folks I am having a wee bit of issue with Sound Cloud so we are going through Google Drive directly for this Rotten Ramblin' On podcast of Uwe Boll.  His movies, his legacy and his coniption fits.  THIS is NSFW and Adult Language!!!!  Guess I will have to sort out something for that later.


https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B9o0xM1p10TbSWJ2c1E4aHc2NFk/0B9o0xM1p10TbUjdyS0RVd3Z4NlE

Video Game Week: Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li

Welcome back video game fans to Day 5 of Video Game Movie Week.  I have been trying to limit the films this week to movies I had not seen, Tomb Raider being the exception.  Today's cinematic wonder hails around a female protagonist of many video games running.  From her cunning, guile, grace and beauty of which can only be rivaled by her speed, stamina and determination.  That being said, I hope and pray this character based movie is not a great big steaming pile of elephant flop.  This is Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li.

I had a growth spurt as a boy, dig?

Bison: The Spring Beauty makes her way to the nest of spoilers.









This movie is solely focused around the life of Chun-Li, from the happy days of learning concert piano and Wu Shu with her father Xiang (Edmund Chen of Ghoststories, The Eye, Police & Thief, Sense of Home and Serangoon Road) to the day he was abducted by a unscrupulous businessman Bison (Neal McDonough of Ravenous, Band of Brothers, Timeline, Walking Tall and Justified) with the assistance of his hulking and bruising bestial of a man Balrog (Michael Clarke Duncan of Armageddon, The Green Mile, The Whole Nine Yards, Planet of the Apes, The Scorpion King, Daredevil, Sin City and Kung Fu Panda) around the age of 12 she has bared this sadness but continued on her studies of Wu Shu and piano as a young woman.  Chun Li (Kristin Kreuk of Smallville, Eurotrip, Earthsea and Beauty and the Beast) a headstrong and good hearten 21st Century girl receives an scroll written in the ancient dynasty text that she cannot read, she hurries home to see her mother who is dying of cancer.

Whose scruffy lookin'?

Meanwhile Bison is consolidating his assets to Bangkok and his corporation Shadaloo is built on syndicate money, informs the heads of these families that their participation in future endeavors is at an end.  Rather than jumping the man at dinner, they leave grumbling and are dispatched to Hell by Bison's associate Vega (Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas).   After her mother passes away, Chun Li takes the scroll to Hong Kong's shopping district and of course a wise elder will send her on the path that is before her, telling her of a mentor just so suited for her training and blah blah blah.

Plot development 3 offers the Bangkok Gangland Homicide department detective Maya Sunee (Moon Bloodgood of Eight Below, Pathfinder, Day Break and Terminator Salvation) a hard nosed female cop that had to work her way to her badge and you know this reteric.  With a forced partnership of Interpol agent Charlie Nash (Chris Klein of Election, American Pie, Rollerball, Caught in the Crossfire and Wilfred) a stereotypical portrayal of a decadent American hard ass with a heart of gold.  When these two are clumsily flirting to a point it is painfully obvious there is no chemistry, they are hot on the trail of Bison.   Will Chun Li join forces with the cops or will she strike out on her own?  Is she there for justice or merely to wipe that smug look off of Bison's face?

Okay, got a few pet peeves here but I will do my best to reign them in.  One, Charlie Nash was in Guile's Special Forces Air Force and not some smarmy jackass in Don Johnson's hand me downs. Two, while the late Raul Julia was decked out as Bison in the unfortunate 1994 Street Fighter character jumble, I have to say Neal McDonough brings a morbid and dark villain to the table.  I was pleasantly surprised with his representation.  Three, the bloody narration throughout this movie felt like a voyage of discovery in the sense of a lost girl growing up and yeah she is a concert pianist and privileged child now turned warrior which is a huge separation from the Interpol tough as nails cop of the games.  Honestly if you remove the Street Fighter elements from this movie, it is actually enjoyable.

Bring it on, Clark Kent!

Video Game Movie Week: Hitman

Day 4 of Video Game Movie Week has arrived and aren't you kiddies excited??!!!   Well...  could you at least pretend to give a crap?   Sheesh, with that notion we will be moving into a villain's role.  Many will call this character an anti-hero, broken man or even the cliche social misfit but at the end of the day he does exactly what he was crafted for.  To assassinate and leave without a trace.  This is Hitman.

I didn't get fresh towels for my room!!!

Agent 47: Nika...
Nika Boronina: Yes?
Agent 47: Stop spoiling or I'll put you back in the trunk.






Now there will be a bit of a harsh vibe coming off of me and for that I can only apologize.  That being said our story opens with an unspecified location near an asylum housing a gathering of young boys with shaved heads, bar codes on the back of said head getting paramilitary training as a team of lab coated scientists and stark dressed military types look on.   With hand-to-hand combat training, firearms, rifles, SMGs, demolitions, garrote, melee combat, knives, creating mickeys or sedatives, staging murders to look like accidental deaths and infiltration tactics these lads grow up to be efficient trained killers.
Cut to scene where Interpol agent Whittier (Dougray Scott of Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Enigma, Mission: Impossible II, Love's Kitchen, Hemlock Grove and Last Passenger) conversing with 47 (Timothy Olyphant of Scream 2, Go, Gone in Sixty Seconds, A Man Apart, Deadwood and Justified) as 47 explains his life and his allegiance to a shadow paramilitary group known only as The Organization.

Love my scotch... scotchy scotchy scotch, down in my belly.

Three months ago 47 completed his mission of a gang leader/ kingpin in Niger.  His handler contacts him about another hit aimed at the Russian President(Ulirich Thomsen of The Celebration, Adam's Apples, The Thing, The Notebook and Banshee) publicly and graphically.  After the deed is done his employers contact him directly claiming a witness spotted him and she has to be taken care of as well.  Drawing one of his Colts (not an AMT 45 Hardballer, he said nitpicking) to gun down this woman, he quickly realizes she has never seen him before and goes to leave as a bullet narrowly misses him.  An assassination attempt on the assassin?

His employers tip of the FSB (The Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation) to his whereabouts so they can deal with him.  47 acquires a prostitute and the late President Belicoff's mistress Nika (Olga Kurylenko of Secrets, Max Payne, Quantum of Solace, The Assassin Next Door, Tyranny and Oblivion) and proceeds to interrogate the hell out of her until she coughs up that Belicoff had a body double who wanted the seat of power and through 47 he has it but it becomes clear in order for this coup to go smoothly they will be have to be removed from the equation.  Through a hail of bullets, body pummelings and explosions 47 clearly needs some help in return.

Now a few comments to make about the film.  Thanks to the re-tweaking of the writing, they went with a genetically enhanced Dark Angel theme rather than the cloned creations of the game series.   a impromptu sword fight breaks out on a speeding train which while interesting just looks like the producers saying," Hey, we already paid for the actors to learn dis, we're gunna film dis!"    Nika is basically just a knock-off of Mei Ling from the games who 47 saved a couple of times in order to get details on a mission in progress.

Timothy Olyphant to his credit delivers a cold blooded bastard and clearly he got some serious strength training and a martial arts package to say the least but he still looks too nice for the role.  You half expect him to give Nika a supporting hug.   Personally, for physicality, martial arts and a cold stare I would have gave this role to Vin Diesel but that's my take on it.

Not a great film, plot is underdeveloped,  no real character development, no sense of goals and just a little too Michael Bay with the action sequences.  Why some of the story-lines from the existing video game material was not used?  Not a clue.

The local library steps up its enforcement policies.

Video Game Movie Week: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Welcome back gamer geeks and geekettes to Day 3 of Video Game Week.  I decided to cheat and simply dig into the collection of DVDs and find us an overly talked about, much dissected, ridiculed and praised film.  Won't that be just keen?  In truth while this is a beloved icon in the video game community, I felt this film deserves another look and all scoffing aside, let us look into the most adventurous privateer that does her archaeology without the use of a bullwhip and a fedora.  This is Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

Back off fanboys!!!

Lara Croft: But you might try to spoil me.
Manfred Powell: I'm not going to kill you.
Lara Croft: I said you'd try.





Gracing the screen of 2001 audiences, Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie of Hackers, Foxfire, Gia, The Bone Collector,Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Wanted, Salt and Maleficent) an English titled lady aristocrat spends most of her days avoiding proper behavior and goes for adventures of forgotten civilizations, treasure and the occasional animated stone golems about.  As she finishes her workout and shower (I can only imagine the 12 to 13 year old boys' eyes rocketing out during the PG-13 shower sequence) she notes the solar system has begun an alignment of all the planets which has not occurred in over a thousand years.

That night as she slept she wakes from a prophetic dream about his long-dead father Richard (Jon Voight of Midnight Cowboy, Catch-22, Deliverance, Runaway Train, Heat, Mission: Impossible, Anaconda and National Treasure) who warns her of an ancient artifact that could be used by unscrupulous people.   There is only some many times I can write the word evil.
With the aid of Hilary (Chris Barrie of The Brittas Empire, Red Dwarf, Get Fit with Brittas, A Prince Among Men, When Evil Calls, Back in Business and The Scum Also Rises), her butler, confidant and all around manservant and Bryce (Noah Taylor of Life in the Fast Lane, Almost Famous, Vanilla Sky, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) her tech guru, they start to peel back the mystery of a brilliantly crafted clock for this very alignment that unlocks a treasure known only as the Triangle of Life.

Ladies and gentlemen, Stone Temple Peons!!!

A enigmatic organization seems to want the triangle for their own end and will stop at nothing to get it.  One such in their employ, Manfred Powell (Iain Glen of Beautiful Creatures, Glasgow Kiss, The Soul Keeper, Darkness and MI-5) a lawyer of antiquities offers to assist Lady Croft in deciphering the riddle of the clock and locating the triangle.  She refuses to ally herself with this morally corrupt man and Powell is forced to find another tomb raider, a competitor of Lara's Alex West (Daniel Craig of I Dreamed of Africa, Road to Perdition, The Mother, Casino Royale,The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Skyfall) a man of many talents as the shower scene seemed to indicate from Lara.    It is a race to the finish for the treasure and quite possibly to save the world from an eternity of darkness.

Quick few comments to make on the film at this time.
This was one of the highest grossing action films with a female lead role that actually surpassed Cameron's Aliens.  In spite of the constant fight sequences, the astounding wire work with the bungee cord gun battles I didn't see Lara out and out kill anyone with a firearm the whole flick.  Animated golems doesn't make the list, they cannot scream in agony.  

Angelina Jolie had to undergo Yoga strength training, kickboxing classes and lastly SAS weapons training for her sidearm, SMGs and Assault Rifle gun battles.   I think the padded bra must have hurt just a bit though.  Having no breasts of my own I must continue to speculate these matters from afar.

We got you now, Sam Fisher and...  guys, I think we got the wrong address... again.

Video Game Movie Week: Silent Hill

Welcome back you console paddle nerdlings for Day 2 of Video Game Movie Week and yeah this film was a bit out there from 2006 and I simply avoided it due to the love of the game.    Yes our next film adapts itself from a rather disturbingly brilliant horror game franchise where strange happenings occur, life and death can be one and the same and vengeance is swift and merciless. For what appears to be deserted is actually damned and ruined to the end of days.  No I am not talking about Villisca Iowa.  This is Silent Hill.

Stripper-grams are so detailed anymore.

Rose: What do you want?
Dark Alessa: All we ask for is spoiler.
Rose: Satisfaction?
Dark Alessa: Revenge.







With their child Sharon (Jodelle Ferland of Kingdom Hospital, Stargate SG-1, BloodRayne: Deliverance, Stargate: Atlantis and The Cabin in the Woods) sleepwalking and attempting to hurl herself over cliffs and to the jagged rocks below. Her mother Rose (Radha Mitchell of Neighbours, High Art, Pitch Black, Cowboys and Angels,  Dead Heat, Phone Booth and Man on Fire) narrowly catching her before her child plummeted to the depths keeps muttering Silent Hill over and over in her unconscious state.    She decides against her husband's wishes she will take young Sharon to this Silent Hill town in order to purge or improve the child's mind.  Yeah and later you can let her juggle throwing knives that are acid edged.   Her husband Christopher (Sean Bean of Patriot Games, GoldenEye, Airborne, Ronin, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Troy and Game of Thrones) frantically calling and attempt to locate them both violates the sacred couples computer rules...  as she left it on power save and all the information of this Silent Hill in West Virginia is at his fingertips and he immediately lets out a breath and we cut to the open road.

The darker side of the Land of Oz.

Filling up for gas Rose notices the pleasant collection of colored pencil works his daughter has done and what she has been drawing on the road is full of pain,  twisted people and some guy with a pyramid for a head.  Sharon doesn't remember doing that at all in the car ride. Kooky?  Well yes it is but one would think to see about a child psychologist rather than an abandoned ghost town filled with more than a few freak accidents and fires but hey I am not a parent.  With the typical Camp Blood routine Rose is getting the feeling that the town might be a bit odd there.

Having an accidental car crash due to a run-in with a police cyclist Cybil (Laurie Holden of TekWar: TekLab, The Magnificent Seven, The X-Files, Fantastic Four and The Walking Dead) the two get jumped by some strange humanoid creature as Cybil arrests Rose and Cybil ventilates the creature.  The town seems to be covered in soot and ash as if after a fire, Cybil and Rose try to find any other residents or help to find Sharon and get out of town.

A few comments to make at this time.  Writer Roger Avary (True Romance, Killing Zoe, Pulp Fiction, RPM, The Rules of Attraction and Beowulf) adapted the overall theme of the game rather than just lift the storyline from the 1999 original video game by reading about a real-life town in Pennsylvania being completely deserted due to a mine fire burning the mines directly under the town for 40 years and that was the basis of his Silent Hill.

Director Christopher Gans (Silver Slime, Necronomicon: Book of Dead, Crying Freeman, Brotherhood of the Wolf and Beauty and the Beast) spent fiver years trying to obtain the rights to make the film.  He even cut a short film on his own money and overlayed it with music from the games.   Dance choreographer and actor Roberto Campanella (Year of the Lion, From Time to Time, Shadow Pleasures, Roxana, Silent Hill and Silent Hill: Revelation 3D), the dark nurses and roaming undead are all dancers needed to be able to be flexible enough for the erratic movements of the creatures.  Aside from "Ring of Fire" coined by Johnny Cash every piece of music is directly from the game series.   With a bit of reverse videography the creepy motions of the Dark Nurses was just the actors walking backwards.  

There are little hints and homage to the film as you could see the director really wanted to do this movie.  An extreme close-up on metal pipes as that was the first weapon you get in the game, Rose finding Alessa scribbling insanely on a desk the cult symbol from the games is on the wall behind her, Sharon's pictures a left as a clue of what direction she went and my personal favorite, the theme song from Silent Hill 3 is played on the car radio exactly as it did in a cut-scene for Silent Hill 3
.
Okay game boys and girls, the bottom line is while this is not a shot for shot replication of the original point and click, puzzle solving, first person shooter horror game, be grateful.  Think how rushed that whole game felt like and imagine trying to put that on the big screen without people just laughing at it or being so bizarre it is on the video nasty list.  With expansive crane shots, hand held work, tight zooms and a pretty damn fine editor this film was creepy, gory and a terrifying ride.

This county is hell on the jaywalkers!

Video Game Movies Week: Far Cry

Hello and welcome to Day 1 of Video Game Movies Week and yes I know this is a risky notion given how many of these films have let us down in the past but what the heck, I might not have to seen limbs fly apart and blood caking the walls.  Because I already saw BloodRayne, punks.   Seriously though, that film was lacking any character or plot development and had a significant amount of nudity for no reason at all.  

Today I thought I would take a look into a Uwe Boll film and yes I know I have said countless times avoid these movies like the plague due to its inane need for voice over narrative, real motion camera work and more tricky zooms to see how long it is before the audience projectile vomits but I am a glutton for punishment.  Who knows, maybe it will be closer to the source material than most films.   This is Far Cry.

Either these tourists go or I do.

Dr. Krieger: You're just a spoiler boat man.
Jack Carver: I didn't say anything about being simple.







The story is centered around Jack Carver (Til Schweiger of Intimate Affairs, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Phantom Pain, Inglourious Basterds, New Year's Eve and This Means War) a former US Army Special Forces veteran who has had a belly full of killing and simply wants to run his charter boat service as his fare Valerie Cardinal (Emmanuelle Vaugier of Smallville, House of the Dead 2, Painkiller Jane, Supernatural, Saw II, Unearthed, CSI: NY, Covert Affairs and Lost Girl) a young journalist who is wishes to visit her uncle Max (Ralf Moeller of Universal Soldier, Conan, Gladiator, Andromeda, The Scorpion King, Crazy for Love, Postal and Alone in the Dark II) whose research is on an isolated island under government management.

I present to you: Edgar Winter on steroids!

No sooner has Valerie gotten on the island she gets kidnapped by lackeys of Doctor Krieger (Udo Kier of Johnny Mnemonic, Barb Wire, Blade, Stingers, End of Days, Feardotcom and Dracula 3000) a brilliant but warped scientist who is hell bent on creating the ultimate super soldier but thankfully he is not a Nazi nor son of a Nazi war criminal and in fact, being German has no barring on the performance or project.   Jack's boat gets blown up with the nitwit toadies thinking he had seen too much of the island but unbeknownst to our underlings they failed in dispatching a man they could have just easily paid off to look the other way.  Now Jack is working his way around the island, dispatching bad guys like a Stallone or Schwarzenegger film, attempting to rescue the girl and stop these mad experiments.   Will Jack triumph or will the villain finally win the day?

Okay I have a few comments to make about the film now.  The action base of the flick feels like a 1980's film in that the action actually kicks ass.  Til Schweiger's take of Carver makes him a fairly likable guy that wants to walk away from being the good guy but in the end submits to his nature and opens keg worth of whoop ass on the villains and gets some decent lines.   Once again Michael Pare (The Philadelphia Experiment, Streets of Fire, Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!, Village of the Damned,BloodRayne,  BloodRayne II: Deliverance and Gone) makes his way back with Boll for another straight-to-DVD flick and you know, he seems okay with that.    Oh FYI, the actors with the exception of Scheweiger have no weapons training or discipline.  Jeez Boll, stretch the budget for some SWAT and infantry seminars and demonstrations.

My real only complaint is the cinematographer Mathia Neumann (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale) is trying to kill off photo-phobics.  That real motion camera feel a.k.a. no bloody stabilizer or gyro mount for the camera makes me want to puke.  the repetitive motion is making the action bounce around and will give migraine sufferers a fricking migraine.  Take that to heart if you consider this film for viewing.  BAD ON THE EYES AND BRAIN.

For you FPS fans, well this is roughly about 50% of what the Far Cry game is and gasp, Carver is not Native American in the movie and yes the super soldiers are not referred as genetically altered beasts called Trigens and look human with contacts and make-up but let's be honest.  The game itself is less than original, over-the-top and frankly a bit ridiculous.  Giving a first person shooter game a plot isn't a bad thing but I always found the game itself to be lacking and waiting more out of it.

Get me off this set!!!

Video Game Movie Week

Hello friendly readers and welcome back to my paltry writing.  This week I am slugging through cinema's live action take on video games. As you know video game films can fall in either direction. Some well done and others are complete agony to watch.  These films fall under many categories such as Action, Sci-fi and Horror so we have some options.

The ultra-violence is well on its way.

Yes there will be the usual collection of gems and turds and only experience will let me know either way so I will have to view it first hand.  I am going to select the first one today but we will see how it goes.  If you have any suggestions for the week, drop me a comment on Facebook or leave a message on the blog.  Hopefully we will have some fun with it.

Party of Five: The Fight Club Years