Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Carpenter Week: They Live

Hey boys and girls do you know what time it is???  That’s right, more Carpenter Week and boy do I have an odd duck for the roast.  It makes Daffy almost look sane.  So grab some penny candy and gather around the sittin' room as we tell the tale.   This is They Live.

I have come to chew bubblegum and kick spoilers...and I am all out of bubblegum.

Hard working, sh*t kicking man’s man Nada (Roddy Piper of Westlemania, Hell Comes to Frogtown, Tough and Deadly, Marked Man, Terminal Rush and Green Lantern: Emerald Knights) fresh from Denver finding no work available makes his hitchhiking way to Los Angeles and frankly who is going to try rob this guy?  Our drifter finding no work here he latches on a work site doing construction with Frank (Keith David of The Thing, Platoon, Clockers, Dead Presidents, Gargoyles, The Puppet Masters and Spawn) who takes him to a impromptu campsite with several folks out of work pulling together.  The local church and campsite get rousted by the cops trashing almost everything in site along with pummeling people like it is the riots.  Nada figures there is some sort of contraband floating around that the church is smuggling.  He finds boxes and boxes of cheap sunglasses not worth more than 5 bucks tops but figures eh what the hell I’ll nick a pair.   Soon he sees subliminal messages on the TV, in magazines and advertisement telling him to obey and procreate.   Not even certain what this means he figures something is amiss when a couple of cops try to kill him on the street.  Our anti-hero escapes with the aid of Holly (Meg Foster of Ticket to Heaven, The Emerald Forest and Masters of the Universe) who drives our now gun wielding loopy back to her place for him to lay low.  She has one of those insane houses on stilts of which she shoves Nada into a falling roll down the guard rail and very likely broke a few ribs on the tumble down.  So far the quest to end the invaders has run into a few snags.

Nada’s brilliant plan is to recruit Frank to assist in fighting these people off which leads into the longest 5 minute and change beat down street fight I have seen.  Just horrendous violence of which I am sure some of the fellas will enjoy up until the knee smashing balls scene.  Yeah you will be crossing your legs boys.  Frank is clued in and the boys battered, bruised but able join up with the resistance against the invaders.  Thankfully no Porkins here so we may have some more rebels left alive.    

Frank and Nada are brought up to speed on how the invasion happened and how they plan to strike back by Gilbert (character actor Peter Jason of The Incredible Hulk, 48 Hrs, The Karate Kid, Prince of Darkness, Red Heat and In the Mouth of Madness) who clearly wants to storm the gates, destroy the signal that is wired for the brainwaves of the “HUMAN” and in general blow up the Death Star.   Yeah Gilbert is a bit quirky.  So folks enjoy this flick for the ham and cheese it is.  One liners that may make you groan, dialogue that is a trifle hokey and atypical poke at corporate and government.