Werewolf Week: Dark Wolf

Hello there boys and girls and welcome back for Day 2 of Werewolf Week.  Well yesterday's picturesque portrayal was none too impressive but I have some hope in today's fur flying faithful.  One of my favorites of horror is crucial in it.  None other than Jason Vorhees/Victor Crowley himself Kane Hodder.   Note that both characters seems to be an unstoppable juggernaut of terror.  This is Dark Wolf.

She's just working her way through college.

20 seconds in to our flick and boom!  Topless bar.  No I am not kidding, the credits are still rolling and a bounty of breasts be roaming about... Yarrr, there be booty everywhere.   Ahem, moving right along, a substantial sized biker (Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Trained to Kill, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason X, 2001 Maniacs, The Devil's Rejects and Hatchet) scoops up a topless dancer using her as a shield against the pursuing cops when his eyes start glowing red...  PCP perhaps???   They subdue him and then we are on subplot 2 as jealous boyfriend Tom (Aaron Van Wagner of Flip This House, City Guys and Days of Our Lives) and girlfriend's best friend Stacey (Andrea Bogart of The Last Run, Greed, Dark Ride, Bar Starz, Nite Tales: The Movie, Ready or Not and General Hospital) and youngin is griping how he never gets to see his independent, hard working girlfriend who is managing her life and not sponging off of him.  Hmm, boo hoo junior.

I can't get it back in the holster!

Cut to bread delivery van.. er um I mean paddy wagon to haul offender off when he morphs under the full moon getting two token black men kills and in the span of 30 seconds reduces them to ground chuck with scraps of clothes.  All that protein and no veggies??  Methinks he better regenerate or he is a serious bowel movement away from agony.

Officer McGowan (Jaime Bergman of Daybreak, Virgins, Soulkeeper, Son of the Beach, Pauly Shore Is Dead and Boa vs. Python) on the scene with her impromptu partner Steve (Ryan Alosio of Sliders, Providence, Without Charlie, General Hospital, Drifter and Days of Our Lives) who knows more about this crazed psycho that tore and ripped two cops apart, flew out the back of the paddy wagon and disappeared in the night.  I guess if your sexual organs are on the inside, you cannot believe in myths and legends like us penis folk.     Yes, it's all here.  Over the top acting, cliche story lines of relationships and the knowing of give and take and less we forget; chauvinistic tendencies that are so irksome enough to offend most guys let alone the women watching this.

The biggest shocker of this movie is Tippi Hedren is in it.  Yes, Tippi Hedren of The Birds, Marnie, The Man and the Albatross.  As a homeless character that knows all about the werewolves and these occasional hybrids that are mad as hatters and completely feral.  

Now some odd information on the film.  Our lead special effects makeup artist Molly Tissavary cut her teeth under porno shoot make-up.  I guess if you can glaze a butt you can make werewolves.  

Sasha Craig (Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue: Neptune's Daughter and Power Rangers Time Force) decided clearly it is time to up her career... by getting naked... in a werewolf movie.  Yeah I can just see the box office potential there.
 
Steven Williams (Mr. X from X-Files, Night Class, Route 666 and Rufus from Supernatural) didn't even get much of a speaking part before he was made second black token in this flick and he has a significant TV and film career that this concept was crap.   Bottom line is: The gore gags are effective but not very scary, what you see of the werewolf looks impressive but not up to Rick Baker, Tom Savini or Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger and Robert Kurtzman of K.N.B. EFX Group given it is mostly bad CGI and the lack of plot is supposed to be made up for in naked girls.  Quite the treat... if you are 12 and watching this on Skin-a-max.

Grr!!!  I'm bad CGI!!! Fear me!