Monday, February 20, 2017

Felissa Rose Week: Slaughter Party

Howdy all and welcome to the week. After touching base with the actress plugging actor/writer/director Sean Whalen's(Waterworld, Twister, Suicide Kings, Idle Hands, Python, Drive Thru and Hatchet III) project for IndieGoGo fundraiser of Crust, a man and his sock monster. Now how can you walk away from something that sounds that insane? That being said, I made a bold statement to said actress that I need to do a week for her films.  We are doing a Felissa Rose Week. This is Slaughter Party. I need a Tic-Tac?

Now keep in mind this is a Troma Studios creation sooooo.... I am hoping this doesn't hit Toxie territory. I have been pretty hard on Lloyd Kaufman and yeah I am not writing/directing or producing so I will tone down the stupid remarks. Hopefully have some fun remarks. We open with a three chord power slap thrash metal band and as soon as two dudes and a dwarf have whimsical jaunty music following them. No offense to the dwarf gentleman Mighty Mike Murga but I see one on film, my brain immediately goes to Bloodsucking Freaks or The Sinful Dwarf Z-grade exploitation films. Not sure why.

Looks like what we have a day to dismember....*Who CSI Theme*

They give a bit of exposition on this area of having an escaped lunatic dwelling in this cave in a remote region of desert and clearly they need to explore it Scooby Doo style. I was waiting for them to split up next or twist an ankle. What? Can only girls and women twist their ankle from a lumbering slow maniac or monster? So sexist. Looking a wee bit like Bronson Caves...again. A mad scientist (Ford Austin of Shank's Mare, Creepies 2, Cerebral Print: The Secret Files and Terminal) slaughters doofus 1 and 2 leaving the dwarf tied up and cackles like Spoony's Doctor Insano while...violating the Dwarf Craig.

Yup, flash forward to an internet date and well...I'm not sure I even want to explain how messed up Craig is now but he offs the date. We'll leave it at that.

I guess he snuck into another blonde's apartment and stabbed and pulled a mad scientist on her too. No real rhyme or reason, he's just crazy and blood thirsty now. Three weeks later. A title card told me so, Blond #2 was known as Mel (Annmarie Lynn Gracey of Desert of Death, Absolute Horror, Attitude for Destruction, Reptisaurus and Black Russian) is mourned by sister Tara (Felissa Rose of Taken Alive, Bloodhounds II, Dinner and Driving, Daybreak, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, The Drone Virus and Satan's Playground ) while her best friend Kerri (Sarah Rosenberg of Foxfire, The Skin Horse, Shooting Nick, Two Fisted, Worn Like a Tattoo and Stray) telling her to get her ass out of her house and live a little...perhaps too little MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ahem...moving on.

Well the camera man was not shy.

So they are off to party in only enough the insane doctor's desert lands which means stripping down to bikinis. Detectives Cage (Ric Drasin of Ben, Flashfire, The Kid with X-ray Eyes, Active Stealth, Mach 2, Prank Attack and AWF Throwdown) and Donovan (Adult Actor Seymore Butts of Seymore Butts Swings, Seymore Butts: In the Love Shack, Bustin' Out My Best, Backdoor to Buttsville Gluteus to the Maximus, Assgasms and Tushy Girls Live) are hot on the case of two dismembered blondes...cuz California needs more of those I guess.

Can Craig the now knife wielding dwarf but put to a stop?? Is the mad scientist lurking about?? Will there be jiggly boobies??

Tad bit of trivia for those still reading and I loathe Urban Dictionary yet again, a slaughter party meets a festive get together were there are more females than males so clearly folks getting laid or a mass orgy. FYI, do not traipse through Urban Dictionary. You will be forever changed and NOT for the better.

Felissa Rose gives this goofy script a serious performance, Scream Queen Brinke Stevens (Private School, Slumber Party Massacre, Sole Survivor, Fatal Games, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Cheerleader Massacre) makes an appearance and I am still snickering at Lloyd Kauffman's kill all the midgets rant. The plot is ridiculous, the sound editor needs to be fired...out of a cannon. The killer midget idea was fun but poorly executed. They just didn't go far enough for this route and it felt more offensive than funny and dark. Ron Jeremy is in this as well being cheesy and silly and frankly about the only thing to keep me even watching this. Director Fred Rosenberg's directorial debut overall flopped but again the starting of this goes to the writer, which is also Fred Rosenberg.

Potentially messed up story just lost in bad sound editing, sub plots that really went nowhere and using Brinke and Ron as cameos. Yeah I had to put on close captioning because I could barely hear the actors period. With implied lesbianism, pot smoking and typical boozing this entire terrifying film was shot in the hell loop of about 2 in the afternoon. 

Such a lifelike pinata!