America 3000

Welcome back my readers. For those of you in the Midwest, sorry for your blizzard wind conditions. Hope it lets up soon. Those of you in the West Coast, I envy you so much right now. Today's movie is another journey back to the 80s as we are back in Post-Apocalyptic staple. Yeah I know I watch quite a few of these but I thought I would explore more into the lovely and vivacious Laurene Landon's career and this title just grabbed me. This is America 3000.

Hmm, this one will do nicely.

Yay! Two alternate titles called Thunder Women and Thunder Warriors!  No idea why I love that so much.  Our friends via Cannon and Golan-Globus produced this. Written and directed by David Engelbach (Death Wish II, Over the Top, MacGuyver) our story starts 900 years after the bombs dropped in 1992, (making this timeline roughly 2892), the world has been reduced to a stone age (Thought my observation says almost iron age) as a tribe of amazon like women rule over the existing populous, making sure man does not overthrow them.   Naturally, this could cause a bit of tension.  Women decide roles in the tribes according to the regs of Tiara.  Quick warning, these amazons are very coiffed. 80's hair be there.  More than an assortment of loin cloths and shammies died for this film like so many Bothans.

Women on horseback, lashing their slaves to guitar rock. Don't you have to pay extra for that? Not up on my flogging etiquette, so I ask my male and female readers on that one.

Oops. That intern didn't get her coffee.

A young lad who tires of being a sex object and a breeder, Korvis and his laborer buddy Gruss flee from the Fraus in search of freedom and building their camp of sausage fest. Yeah I am not sure what's going on there but not woman one.

Grown up Korvis (Chuck Wagner of General Hospital, Automan, All My Children, Loving,Dynasty, Matlock and The Sisterhood) and Gruss (William Wallace of Beverly Hills Cop, Delta Force, Avenging Force, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Troop Beverly Hills, Born on the Fourth of July and Solo)strive to free their fellow man from this injust tyranny. Yeah, boo hoo. Oh woe is me. I have to give orgasms to hot women. CRY BABY!

Men are encamped and separated to needs of the tribe. Laborers, servants, seeders (breeding population control) and some are just for fun. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Almost feels like Gor for how the men are treated. Um really stringent feminism? Eh, whatever.

With a total lack of machines, damn dirty apes, my usual riffing is held up until the monster which looks like the offspring of Chewbacca and Meatloaf roaming the lands with a boom box. Won't lie.  I got the biggest laugh out of that. Then I remembered where they were shooting and had huge amounts of pity for that guy in his monster booties.  His burbles were less intelligible than Chewie.   I think he was gargling raw goat balls.   Hey, I am an amateur audio engineer with good ears. I know goat ball gargling when I hear it.

Glam Gal in Charge.

There are more primitive men called Plougats. Sloping foreheads, rudimentary hand tools, ridiculous beards and melee weapons. Apparently they can't farm so they ambush the tribes for food and probably for breeding purposes as well. No giant irradiated monsters so yeah it was kind of calm.

With their queen Reya (Camilla Sparv of Murderers' Row, The High Commissioner, The Rockford Files, Winter Kills and The Naked Truth) nearing death, her daughter Vena (Laurene Landon of Hundra, Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold, Maniac Cop, Maniac Cop 2, 1313: Hercules Unbound!, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance and Syndicate Smasher) is to be the next Tiara, follow a map and sounds like quest time. Yup gotta have a good quest. Her sister Lakella (Victoria Barrett of Hot Resort, Three Kinds of Heat, Cheers and Russian Holiday) looks a bit pissed to not have been named the successor. Just an observation.

Thanks to plot device...er I mean a simple alphabet book, Korvis can understand English enough to realize they have been up-top an underground bunker, filled with firearms. Will Korvis overthrow the tribes of women?   Can woman and man live together in peace?  How many of these guys did they castrate?

In spite of this being a Post Apocalyptic film, zero skin and mild violence. Yeah this has a PG-13 rating so I was spared 20 billion rape scenarios. THANK GOD. The film is slow in places, we have time span speech that adulterates speech and pollutes meanings but I'm a quick study. We have a narrative that establishes certain facets of the film, filling in the blanks and overall it isn't a bad flick.

Unlike your typical cataclysm story line, no vehicles, heavy use of firearms, or real struggle against marauders. There is no demand of oil, water or political upheaval.

This is all supposed to be taking place in Colorado and geographically speaking that would be roughly Colorado Springs near NORAD.

Point of fact, in the year of 1986 our feature was shot in Israel. Kinda nifty, right? Colorado might have been a bit too lush and vibrant with fauna and flora. Sorry for the logo pop. This was found on a streaming site that taped it from Impact TV via TNT in the day. 

Grandpa...fading...