MST3K Week: Cave Dwellers

Howdy boys and girls and welcome to MST3K Week.  I thought I would share my favorite bad movies that Joel, Mike and the lovable bots have trashed over the 10 years Best Brain Productions had to offer with the inception of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  For those unfamiliar with this show (SHAME!!!!) I will do my best to explain.  Two mad scientists are convinced by subjecting all of humanity to the most horrendous movie they can dominate the world.  In order to find the end all most heinous of turkeys, they subject one of their own workers Joel Robinson (Stand-up comedian and creator of MST3K Joel Hodgeson) into space as a controlled environment he cannot get away from and is fed a steady diet of really horrible films. Along with Joel are his robots he tinkered with are Crow T. Robot, wisecracking Tom Servo and lastly the diverse and ship maintaining Gypsy.    So without further adieu I cast to thee, Cave Dwellers!!!

 

West Side Story: The Prehistoric Years.

Ator: Thong, the spoiler is ready!

This particular episode Joel and the bots have endured an asteroid shower and thankfully they are squeaky clean as Mad scientists Dr. Forrester (Traci Beaulieu of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic) and TV’s Frank (Liberal and comedic writer Frank Conniff) attempt to recreate the old Mike Douglas set of yesteryear.   After a ritual known as Invention Exchange where each side is to dazzle one another with their pithy wit, Joel and the bots are subjugated to the abysmal turd that is Cave Dwellers a.k.a. The Blade Master, Ator the Invincible, Ator the Return and Ator the Blade Master. 

Bowflex does work!

From the direction of Italian soft core pornographer/ horror director Joe D’Amato (The Erotic Adventures of Aladdin X, Creepers, Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals and Beyond the Darkness) comes the sequel to Ator, the Fighting Eagle from Alternative Title Week.  Yes I am that evil, folks.

Ator (Miles O’Keefe of Tarzan the Ape Man, Ator the Fighting Eagle, Sword of the Valiant and The Lone Runner) lost his would be bride Sonya and is off studying in some forlorn cave with his buddy the mute sidekick Thong (Kiro Wehara of The Blade Master and Interzone) when they are visited by a young woman, Mila (Lisa Foster of Fanny Hill, Marie, Come Spy with Me and The Jitters) who tells Ator of her father his mentor has been captured by his former pupil Zor (David Brandon of Jubilee, She, The Lost City and The Scarlet and the Black).   Ator and Thong mount a rescue to save Ator’s former mentor but will they arrive in time?

Okay this is the part where I tell you why I love this MST3K episode.  This was my first every MST3K I ever saw.  I got most of the jokes as a wee lad and love it even more so since adulthood.  The bots constantly compare Zor to John Saxon but I myself find I am leaning to a hybrid of Alan Rickman and Terrance Stamp and hey Zor is but a consonant away from being Zod.  

Look out!!! It's Koko the Terrible!!

Our hero makes his own hang glider in the time span of a jump cut which Joel and the bots mercilessly torment the film about.  The plot is shaky, the action a bit hammy but thankfully the wise acres of the Satellite of Love are helping you through it.   Oh FYI, you are not missing much with the extra 15 minutes and no Mysties trashing the full format of this film.