Howdy all and greetings to Day 5 of
Bloodsuckers Sequels. Yes it is that time again as we wrap up the
week. We have had our chills and spills, our laughs and
languishing story arcs. Today we finish up the Patrick Lussier
trilogy that is the collective Dracula 2000. Spoilers a plenty
ahead! If you do not wish to partake then read a latter review I
guess. For those of you that are never gonna watch this movie
anyway, welcome. Father Uffizi and Luke have made their way into
Translyvania, in the heart of Dracula's domain. To rid the world of
this evil, possibly save Liz and make the planet safer. This is
Dracula III: Legacy.
Told you to take that left at Albuquerque! |
Father Uffizi (Jason Scott Lee of
Back to the Future II, Ghoulies Go to College, Map of the Human
Heart, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, The Jungle Book, Tale of the
Mummy, Soldier, Lilo & Stitch, Timecop: The Berlin Decision and
The Prophecy: Forsaken and Seventh Son) and Luke (Jason
London of Dazed and Confused, Mixed Signals, Broken Vessels, The
Rage: Carrie 2, Jason and the Argonauts and Grind) have been
on the trail of Dracula and his bloody swath he enjoys making him
rather easy to track.
Uffizi of course is on a mission to
rid the world of Dracula and contain his remains in the Vatican.
Due to his infection he fights off every morning, the transformation
of vampirism feels like it is winning and only his will keeps it at
bay. Luke's standing is still smitten with Liz (Diane Neal of
Dracula II: Ascension, Second Born, Law & Order: Special Victims
Unit, NCIS, Power, Suits and NCIS: New Orleans) and hopes to
be reunited with her and be with her.
Along with Dracula's vampiric drones
left to torment or slaughter our terrific twosome, the villages
residing under the mountaintop castle are not better off. Between
the warring factions of a human civil war the rebels attempting to
gain ground because the government has long since thrown their lot in
with Dracula, this is some dangerous countryside.
Um, I think Liz is just hungry now. |
With human lackeys restocking
Dracula's larder, a journalist name of Juila Hughes (Alexandra
Wescourt of Brookside, LAX, Dracula III: Legacy and Watch Over Me)
who befriends the father and Luke as they are try to make their way
to the castle. With acres and acres of forest, human and vampires
alike roaming and of course whatever such creatures in the area, our
heroes have a long way to travel. Now we are going a bit more old
school so none of the hip and young kids and their short-term
vampirism but we have the old school dungeon harem of wenches under
the fang, barely clothed, covered in dry blood and basically closer
to Stoker.
Why Dracula is now Rutger Hauer??!!
not 1980's I am built like a swimmer Rutger Hauer but 61 year old
(now 72) had a close relationship with booze and
finally off the wagon Hauer. So yeah I was not prepared for this
new Dracula regeneration er um I mean resurrection. When you watch
his scenes with his chambers are adorn with a buttload of TVs all
over the place. I guess immortality takes its toll and he regresses
to a more evil and worn look... or something that convoluted of that
nature. Most of his lines felt goofy and it was said Hauer
improvised a lot so that makes a bit more sense.
Luke of course is still fighting on
instinct and no real training to speak of. Sheesh Uffizi, help the
kid out. Will they defeat Dracula and his evils? Can Transylvania
ever be rid of the monsters man and inhuman alike? Is this gag too
drawn out?
Now don't get me wrong. This film as a
whole is pretty good for the stigma of "B-Movie" and the
script and directing are fair. Just some of Hauer's lines are just
silly and out of place for this gothic horror they are trying to give
us. I mean, "There are no dead here, just the f**ked-up dead!"
seemed a bit ridiculous. Not a bad film and rather entertaining
but given the copious amount of scattered undead ass and graphic
violence you may want the kiddies to go watch something else.
I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you. |
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