Okay my fine fiendish fans. I have
received my share of disgruntlement on my dismissal of Jim Wynorski
films. I claimed I view them as jiggly girl films with a Sci-fi or
Horror theme attached to them and many of you got irate about it,
protesting and claiming there are vampire flicks, creature features
and some decent B-movie goodness to be had. I am certain I have
been pretty hard on the guy and he and Fred Olen Ray have introduced
me to many beloved Scream Queens so this week I will delve into the
depths of Jim Wynorski films and see what is to be found by this fan
base. Also so I don't get lynched. The first creature feature to
look at I was confused as these two films were released a year apart
and on similar topics. This is Komodo vs Cobra a.k.a. Island of the
Beasts a.k.a. Komodo versus Cobra a.k.a.Kobra AVI a.k.a. KVC
Can't wait to eat humans. |
Cobralalalalalalalalalala!!! Heh if
you don't get it, yer too damn young. On the secluded island of
Isladomas, We see a lead doctor father/daughter duo along with
expendable lab assistant. As predicted, lab assistant does not
listen to "mad" scientist and is devoured like a 5 year old
gobbling pizza. Doctors Richardson (John Henry Richardson of
Evil Spawn, Terror Night, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Out of Time,
Alienator, Cybernator, Vice Academy 3, The Wasp Woman, Vice Academy
4, Victim of Desires and Treasure Hunt)
and scientist hottie daughter Susan (Michelle
Borth of Wonderland, The Sisterhood, Freddie, Rampage: The Hillside
Strangler Murders, Trespassers, Tell Me You Love Me, The Forgotten, A
Good Old Fashioned Orgy and Hawaii Five-0)
paddle to safety from...a giant Komodo dragon. When I say giant I
mean at least 10 times its normal size. Like a double decker bus
with scales. So what in the good gravy is going on?
Hmm need some Little Richard as we fly. |
Well
let's cut to Captain Stoddard (Michael Pare of
Eddie and the Cruisers, Streets of Fire, The Philadelphia Experiment,
Dragonfight, The Last Hour, Intro the Sun, Sunset Heat, BloodRayne,
Postal, BloodRayne: Deliverance, 1968 Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Road to
Hell and BloodRayne: The Third Reich)
and his merry ferry service as he is charted for a three hour
tour...tee hee. With him is a team of environmentalists (eco
warriors, gah), a reporter and camera man in the hope of a scoop but
the island has been purchased by the US Navy and that makes it very
illegal to be roaming around it, so they drop more dough on the
captain and he changes his tune. They're going to prove
EeeeeeeEEEvil Military experiments are about this island for...I
guess a buttload of money, award for the reporter and maybe the
camera guy can afford to go to Australia. Got me folks but we are
just getting started.
How you doin'? |
No
sooner are they on the island they can't help but notice fences seems
torn down and no one is their at all when they find an abandoned home
with Susan in it. I can't help but have Return of the Swamp Thing
flashbacks with the house. Maybe someone can clue me in if it is the
same house. She explains that her and her father's research was it
grow food exponentially to help solve world hunger issues by
enlarging the vegetables making larger portions. Personally I just
envisioned bulbous obese people heading to Wal-Mart for more
servings for giant kabobs but I am screwy like that. The military liaisons tell them they need to try the same formula on reptiles to
create a viable bio weapon. I guess air drops of kaiju like
creatures in Afghanistan perhaps?? Got me on the long term plans
there.
Well
at least it wasn't radiation creating these gargantuan monsters, then
we are getting into giant ants of Them or Peter Graves' The Beginning
of the End and giant grasshoppers. Nope we are into genetic
manipulation (the atomic mutations of the 90s to 2000s).
A
few nitpicks coming now and you knew it was going to happen. The
nine millimeter Taurus hold fifteen rounds in the mag and 1 in the
pipe. Heh, still love that term but Pare fires off close to 40
rounds before changing magazines (no, I do not say or write clips) so
I got a bit of a snicker out but nothing compared to the chuckle I
got from Major Frank (Paul Logan of L.E.T.H.A.L.
Ladies: Return to Savage Beach, Stripper Wives, House of Love, Angel,
The Curse of the Komodo, The Eliminator, Way of the Vampire, Days of
Our Lives and Vampire in Vegas)
and his comms radio piece. Props dropped the ball there. Looks
like a well-built man ready to take my Arby's order. Curly fries
with that. Still loved the doc's comment as she glances down at her Taurus 9mm, "It's gonna take more than a .38 to stop what's on this island." Oops. Well she's a geneticist not a ballistics major.
Comprehensive
wise, we have a military experiment gone horribly awry, creatures of
unusual proportion, gunfire and one liners. Not a bad flick and
amazingly PG-13 so let the kiddies watch the CGI creatures snack on
the humans and each other. The film is very similar to Curse of the
Komodo except those characters were a tad more interesting and given
the fair degree of nudity, probably wanna skip letting the kiddies
see that one. Check IMDB for all the alternative titles or be
prepared to handle explaining why that lady has her boobies out.
Putting my foot down. |
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