Sunday, October 7, 2018

Party Bus To Hell

How do all. I am back and got a film that has a weird controversy. Some claim it, a return to horror from the seventies, building up tension and fear. Others claim it, to be a full blown jiggly girl fest, pointless and a waste of time. The most common "critic" response is, "One star for the movie is too good for it or overrated." So you know what? I am going to give this flick a lookyloo, see what works and what doesn't and try to give it a fair assessment. This is Party Bus to Hell.

Oh God...who broccoli beefed in here?

First off, enough with the Tara Reid anorexic jokes. 1) Not particularly funny 2) Not remotely original 3) that woman is always active, so yes she has maintained her weight.

Now that is tended to, on with the show!!! Our movie opens with Darby,the hippy attired (Tara Reid of The Big Lebowski, American Pie, Van Wilder: Party Liason, Alone in the Dark, Scrubs, Incubus, Last Call and Sharknado) and this Slash/BeeGees hybrid are fleeing for their lives...or has the desert gone to their heads? Who knows??? With some quick snappy back and forth banter, not everything it appears.

Director/writer Rolfe Kanefsky (You Only Live Until You Die, Sex Files: Alien Erotica, Tomorrow by Midnight, Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle Pie, Nightmare Man, Sorority Slaughterhouse and The Black Room) has clearly had to good film projects to the soft-core porn projects to the finding the decent capital raising projects. This is clearly his baby and Ms. Reid is backing it or found folk to back it.

Yes, Jeff Bridges constantly smells like sandalwood.

Cut to Lara Swit (Stefani Blake of Reverse, Vice Squad: NYC, Vice Squad: Las Vegas, Vice Squad: L.A., Vice Squad: Dallas and Vice Squad: Chicago), a girl gone hitchhiking that lucked out that her pervy driver started to put moves on her after they arrived in Vegas. Seriously, one wrong placed word and her ass could have been just left on the I-15, with no water, provisions or even sunscreen. A tour bus appears to be heading for The Burning Man event and Lara is kicking it around when Tour Bus driver, Joan (Sadie Katz of Hidden Treasures, House of Bad, Scorned, Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort, Grindsploitation, Blood Feast and Unreported) tells Lara it's all good in the hood and jump on board. No, she didn't say that verbatim.

With a bus load of twenty somethings looking to party, get high, drunk and laid, this seems like the bus for those very activities and all seems pretty bouncing. We've got a bluesy almost AC/DC, Steely Dan vibe with writer/singer David Rosen singing the title.

Alright, so the big complaint most folk are having, both male and female alike is topless scenes in under 5 minutes of viewing. Okay, clearly you haven't suffered a Jesus Franco's a minute and 12 fully nude scene and those are his soft-core films.

Hey Mummy! You're getting a bit close to Zombie Lake offenses!

Look, I get that its seems a bit odd these girls are taking clothes off left and right on a bus full of strangers... have you journeyed beyond your local Piggly Wiggly and/or Hardware Hank's?    Burning Man is Spring Break for those that feel like they are outcasts, nutters, cosplayers, costume designers and in general, a little kooky. Yeah topless is the least of your concern.

Looks a lot like Valley of Fire Nevada. It's about 60 miles Northeast of Las Vegas and is part of the Mojave Desert. This has been: Fun Film Facts with Jake!!!

With no bars for the smart phones (Yeah that gem never gets tiresome) and bus driver Joan AWOL, the party starts to think something is amiss.  But y' and boobs!!!

Night collapsed rather than fell and it's the middle of the night still at least another 6 hours from the festival as "Joan" told the partiers she took a short cut to get good time. So unless you are a boy scout, brownie, have a compass, map or're boned.

Next thing we know, nutters in black robes and cloaks appear and I am pretty sure they aren't AAA. Turns out those hiding on the bus are just in time for human sacrifice night at the Sizzler (Yes, that is an MST3K joke of yesteryear) so now we got a hooded goofball channeling Papa Jupiter via The Hills Have Eyes and a smidgen of The Devil's Rejects.

Behold, the terror that is...liturgical dance?

So options? Stay on the bus and remain on guard until we starve.   Get off the bus and go in a direction in the hopes you make it back to Vegas before dehydration or starve.   My personal favorite, stop bitching, work together and maybe get out alive.    Option #3.    It ain't even an option.

So this is perhaps a crazy cult or religious sect. Hell for all I know, they were on a bus to a maximum security wing to the whacko basket.   Point is there is a lot more of them, they're armed and completely bat shit crazy.   Hey, how about some main protagonist back story???  Nope.    You want to know, go watch the flick.

What did I take away from this? Tara was clearly having a blast, this crew was fun and it was nice to see girls kicking some serious ass alongside the guys.

This feels like a throwback to Jack Starrett's 1975 Race with the Devil, a touch of Don Sharp's The Death Wheelers a.k.a. Psychomania and filmed on that same damn stretch of road a certain Wes Craven, The Hills Have Eyes were captured.

Okay yes there is a fair degree of nudity. This is also a Horror movie. Planning on sitting down with Grandma and Grandpa for this one, were you? This is a direct product of trying to get more out of your exploitation film like in the late 60s to early 80s.    It's graphic, silly, cannibalistic and downright absurd.   That folks, is the whole point.

Sure hope my night doesn't get too crazy.

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