Killer Crocodile II

Hey folks back again. Thought we would do a sequel to a Creature Feature we have already covered. Yes I do have some disdain for sequels but I thought this time around, I could be entertained. Granted that didn't work with the loosely linked Zombi unofficial sequels but that is for an entirely different scenario so let's see if director Giannetto De Rossi can manage this task. This is Killer Crocodile 2.

Is this the buffet? It all looks so good.

No unusual alternative titles lashed to this movies so it was a bit odd but it doesn't necessarily mean it is awful.  The reappearance of Richard Anthony Crenna for this does bring comfort to the continuity.  Our previous director/writer Fabrizio De Angelis (Thunder, Deadly Impact, The Manhunt, Operation Nam, Thunder II, Karate Warrior, The Overthrow, Thunder III, Karate Warrior 2, and The Last Match) is alongside with makeup artist/writer/director Giannetto De Rossi (Cy Warrior, Killer Crocodile 2 and Tummy) felt the need to have Kevin had to reprise his character. We have the atypical and corrupt land developer dumping radioactive waste in the local swamps because...plot device. Seriously, the concept of the ecosystem damage doesn't even register. We don't even have an old wizened wise man warning of said greedy developer the wrongness of his ways.

OMG! Bugs are icky!

So with the ooze dumped in the swamps ambitious journalist Liza (Debra Karr of Stingray, A Stranger Waits, Killer Crocodile 2 and Vulgar) is neck deep into trouble and is going to need some help to get this story out. Corruption, bribes and buying and selling people off would make an embarrassment and she will have to be silenced...forever. It gets goofier. Oh yes, the land in question is being redeveloped for a resort. Yeah, imagine this very area that had a gargantuan croc and there couldn't possibly be another of its kind again, could there?

Our cruise director is a bit busy and bloody.

Not Quint, Joe is also back as his bad ass croc hunter self (Ennio Girolami of The Nights of Cabiria, Fury of Achilles, The Feast of Satan, Sexy Sinners, The Last Shark, Tenebrae, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Escape from the Bronx, Operation Nam and Sinbad of the Seven Seas) and he and Kevin both feel obligated to help Liza as she revealed another crocodile of unusual size and stature.

Fun Film Facts! No, not really.

Our director is also responsible for the SFX make-up for Fulci's Zombie and The Beyond but funnier than that, is composer Riz Ortolani of Cannibal Holocaust.

The original film and this sequel were shot back to back allowing continuity to NOT screw up.

See how that works, Hollywood?! Italy is kicking your ass...with a creature feature flick!

Okay that all aside, this film's story is almost carbon copy of the original, they even re-use a lot of the footage from the previous movie and it clearly shows. Ladies reading this, yes there is a implied rape scene. Nothing visual but I guess it just wouldn't feel lawless if they didn't add it to "spice" things up.

Is this film better than the sequel? No, it isn't. As far as a film standing on its own, it encompasses the original. It attempted its own story line but mostly hashed previous footage and per-existing characters in the hopes the huge resort story didn't end up being a plot hole. Villagers, poachers and fishermen make up the bulk of the croc's diet and steps are taken to find out 50 foot long beasty.

The practical SFX of creature, gore gags and the like are on par with the original. The story feels more convoluted than Jaws 3. Yes I said it! Jaws 3 is superior to Killer Crocodile II.

More teeth than the entire Osmond family.

Rotten Reelz Reviews Audio Review #46: Tremors

THE VOTE WAS CAST!!!  So apparently folks wanted to see my take on Tremors rather than Subspecies 2.  Either that or they could completely pass on seeing Radu drool some more.

 

 Enjoy audio review of Tremors.

Tremors

Rotten Reelz Reviews Audio Review: Friday the 13th Part 2

Yeah, yeah.  I'll write something next week.   In the mean time, being Friday the 13th,  I present you a an audio review of Friday the 13th Part 2 and yes I swear I will work on some reviews of the written variety next week.   Now watch this and have fun!

Italian Dark Universe: Dawn of the Mummy

And we return to Italian Dark Universe and what would cap the week off best is a mummy movie. Technically this is a Egyptian/US/Italian venture but Italy is in there, right? Good enough! To be honest I was looking at the myriad of shark films instead. Didn't even occur to me Italian mummy flick until an hour ago. So from Egyptian producer/director Frank Agrama (Queen Kong,Birth, Around the World in 80 Days, The Man Who lived at the Ritz, Shaka Zulu, Dragon Ball, Return to the Lost World, American Strays, Robotech II: The Sentinels and Captain Harlock and the Queen of a Thousand Years) and Italian screenwriters Daria Price (Take Off, The Nesting, Dawn of the Mummy and Survival of the Fittest) and Ronald Dobrin (Queen Kong and Dawn of the Mummy) bring us our film. This is Dawn of the Mummy.

May the gods see you home.

In the year 3000 BC, after a lengthy ceremony of burying a pharaoh, his gold and slaves, the high priestess (Laila Nasr of Harry Boy and Dawn of the Mummy) invokes a curse placed on it should anyone dare disturb the tomb. And with that they seal the tomb of gold sprayed pots, an near Ark of the Covenant and six living slaves.

Cut to 1981 as tomb raiders blow a hole in the cliff face to unseal the tomb. Because of the noxious toxins released to kill the slaves, the head raider suggests giving it a day to air out. I was thinking at least two weeks and full Hazmat gear with turbine fans but that's just me. Our blond haired, blue eyed destroyer of lands and pillager of artifacts is warned by Xena (Laila Nasr) the no so much warrior princess but channeling superstition in true Friday the 13^th Crazy Ralph fashion screaming about the curse. Criminal blue eyed f**k shoots at her, scares her off and tells his hired goons to watch the cave entrance for fellow bandits. Three guys check out the cave, have their skins melted off and boom! Title card and grooving, funky New York City in view as folk walking about and getting to work.

Mila Jovavich's facial went awry!

Cut to models traveling through Giza on Jeep while Melinda (Ellen Faison of Hail, Sweet,Sweet Freedom, Love,in Strange Places, Bloodsucking Freaks,Visions and Acting Out) cannot be bothered with the spoils and wonder of the Pyramids because her toe nail polish has to be just so. Yeah she will be a main character. Grrr... Jenny (Joan Levy of Dawn of the Mummy, H.E.L.P. And The Bumblebee Flies Anyway) points out to the splendor of the land as photographer Gary (John Salvo of Dawn of the Mummy, George Washington II: The Forging of Nation, Perfect Cimes and Murphy Brown) preps for a modeling shoot. Remember this is the 80s so Vogue has big bucks to field this fly out to Giza for probably some offensive mummy summer wear shoot.

How much for the women?

Our models and camera crew get hit by the plot device and pop a tire. Our gang goes out to explore only to encounter a dead man's head in the sand. A decent prop head but hardly worth three shots worth. Personally I loved the skull and crossbones red paint to establish the thieves are carrying dynamite. Nice touch. So our jiggly girl shoot commences while more dynamite is released yet again. Pretty sure the models, male and female alike are deaf. I also can't help but notice Gary looks like David Hess just less murderous and rapey. With more spouts of the curse, the first 25 minutes drags on a bit but all our characters have been developed...as best as they can be.

The photo crew and thieves meet up with McGuffin as one of the thieves drew their attention. Well a cursory viewing later and this will be the greatest snaps in all of ze world. Somehow the heavy lamps start awakening the mummy. I figured it was the inane banter that did it but what do I know.

Thirty minutes before we get any hint to a mummy as the thieves move to their benefactors and FINALLY the mummy gets off his undead ass starting a rampage. 5000 years or not, this dude was under Operation:Dragonass. With all the heat lamps, the mummy was making like a Stouffer's lasagna...TAKING FOREVER TO COOK!!!

So a round of POV hide the creature gag is done and I am thinking,"Movie, you're called Dawn of the Mummy, stop hiding." Still love the whisk to safety to Ahmed's and he looks like Lesiure Suit Larry. He should have a neon sign over him exclaiming " Sell Girls to Shieks!"

With the mummy in hot pursuit and yet I mean slow as molasses in Boston January, our cameramen think they know a thing or two when dealing with the undead. Also those poor slaves at the beginning of the movie, yeah they're basically ghouls now. Flesh eaters still having to serve their dick of a pharaoh. No unions in servitude.

Will the Mummy bring about a biblical curse?? Is Armageddon sure to follow?? Why is the sky blue??

Practical effects wise, this isn't bad. The pacing is a tad slow and yet characters are hastily rushed in. With the smaller budget of 400k, actual pyramids and having both Cairo and Giza as your backdrop you have easily whip the BS studio productions of Styrofoam with flecked spray paint or gelatinous coating sound dampening substance. So existing structures, cities and the like give the production value an amazing level. That being said however, I was not blown away by meddling teens/twenty somethings raising the undead cliche. You damn kids!!!

Your cast is relatively unknowns that none had a breakaway performance per-say but was not a horrible movie experience. It did crack me up that Harmony Gold Ltd.was the distributor given they are better known for anime such as Voltron, Defender of the Universe and the Robotech series. Not sure were mummy movies fit on that scale.   Still no Tom Cruise screaming and close up pans of him running.

Another Jelly party takes a dark turn.

TV Titanics: Z Nation Season 1

TV Titanics returns! So decided to tap into a zombie fueled bit of goofy because...well I really cannot sit through The Walking Dead. So damn chatty and not enough zombie skull cracking. Stop reminiscing of things and places gone by,Grimes!!! Okay moving on or this will be a Walking Dead rant. Instead let's talk about 3 years after the zompocalypse tearing the US a new one and the survivors are picking up the pieces. Charged with a mission to journey through zombie infested towns to get a cure to California, our reluctant heroes trudge on. This is Z Nation Season 1.

Knew we shouldn't have eaten at Red Robin.

Produced by The Asylum (Almighty Thor, 2012: Ice Age, Battle of Los Angeles, Nazis at the Center of the Earth, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, Rise of the Zombies, Social Nightmare and Alone for Christmas) home of the modern day mockbuster with sneaky titles similar to the features they are attempting to cash in on got in bed with Sy-Fy to create a series to either rival or simply competition in the zompocalypse stories, films and TV already out there. 3 years have occurred since the outbreak, The US is a wasteland of consumer products, bands of vehicles, good decent folk, raiders and even the odd gathering of cannibals.

RAD ZOMBIE!!!!

For a small group of survivors, a Special Forces Lt. Hammond (Harold Perrineau of Romeo + Juilet, Lost, Blade the Series, Transit, Sons of Anarchy, Zero Dark Thirty, Constantine, Goliath and Criminal Minds) and his prisoner Murphy (Keith Allan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek: Enterprise, Air Collision, Social Nightmare, Zombie Night and Rise of the Zombies) have fled from one of the major infestation sites at the lost of Hammond's men covering their escape. Arriving in Upstate New York, Hammond meets a group of survivors made up of civilians and some National Guard, he tells these people he needs help to bring Murphy to California.

Captain Garrett (Tom Everett Scott of That Thing You Do, An American Werewolf in Paris, Dead Man on Campus Bloodline, Enemies Closer and The Last Word) and Lt. Warren (Kellita Smith of The Bernie Mac Show, King's Ransom, Feel the Noise, Conspiracy X, The First Family and Z Nation) are iffy about this as they gather up stragglers from their crew when the entire encampment is attacked by water logged zombies popping out of the lake. Knowing their settlement has been completely overrun, our small group decides to hoof it with Hammond and Murphy.

You goin' down, cameraman!!!

 

Joining on this zany quest is drug chemist Doc (Russell Hodgkinson of Big Fish, We Go Way Back, ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction, Mystery Case Files: The 13^th Skull, Grimm, 21 & Over, A Bit of Bad Luck and 7 Minutes) Ballbat wielding melee momma Addy (Anatasia Baranova of 7^th Heaven, Veronica Mars, Rise: Blood Hunter, The Darkness II, Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z and Z Nation) her crackshot boyfriend Mack (Michael Welch of Star Trek: Insurrection, Hey Arnold!, Joan of Arcadia, Stargate SG-1, Day of the Dead, The Riches, Twillight, Unrequited and Criminal Minds).

Meanwhile in the Antartic, NSA Communications Specialist Simon or Citizen Z (DJ Qualls of Road Trip, Cherry Falls, The New Guy, Comic Book Villains, Last Day of Summer, Supernatural, Perception and Z Nation) has complete access to every existing satellite, relay station, cameras and social media and no authority to tell him he can't do that, he leads the team to locations that last he checked have anything from supplies to less stinky fleshbags roaming about. His task is to not go mad from loneliness and keep the survivors up to date on weather changes, zombie uprise and any human elements that may be completely bat shit crazy.

Along through Philly our crew encounters a young woman name of Cassandra (Pisay Pao of Simply Fobulous, Your Lucky Day, Door to Door, NCIS: Los Angeles, and Z Nation) left in a cage surrounded by the deaders and she joins up with them on their moderately insane quest. With limited resources, raiders, zombies and freak weather our people have their work cut out for them.

Will the team get Murphy to California?? What awaits them at the next town or even next state?

With shows like The Walking Dead, The Strain, iZombie and Fear the Walking Dead, it is nice to see a show not taking itself serious all the time but creating new strains of zombie like these speed freak zombies that were taking massive doses of pills, rad zombies thanks to a power plant unattended. The characters are diverse, the story lines can have some funny episodes but they also include some of the more darker aspects of the human psyche. Any Zombie Post Apocalypse fans should enjoy this. I hesitate to shoot this through a time hole so the Incognito Cinema Warriors XP crowd can enjoy this but in the year 20XX, zombies so y'know too much art imitating life. I'll just send them Zone of the Dead instead.