Zombie Stew: Nightmare City

Hey kids welcome back for Day 2 of Zombie Stew. Gets better if it's left in the fridge. Say howabout a zombie film from the director that brought us the cannibal films of Eaten Alive! And Cannibal Ferox?? No?? No one interested?? TOO BAD!!! We are going over it anyway! No, no!! Don't pass out on me now!! Writer and director of Eurocult or Europloitation Umberto Lenzi (Samson and the Slave Queen, Messalina vs. The Son of Hercules, Pistol for a Hundred Coffins, Paranoia, The Manhunt, Da Corleone a Brooklyn, Ghosthouse and Cop Target) brings us radioactivity and mad, enraged, melee wielding zombies roaming the streets of an otherwise unnamed European city. (Mostly Rome, Italy or Madrid, Spain) This is Nightmare City.

Zombie Time!!!

With the man that brought us "Make Them Die Slowly" comes a tale of gore, random boobies and a bit of different zombies. With a report to be made on a radioactive spill in a nearby town the professor in charge will give all the details to reporter Dean (Hugo Stiglitz of La ley de la mafia, Escuadron suicida, Tequila, Cobra silenciosa and Bulldog) and his trusty cameraman. At the airport the plane does not answer the proper hails and seems to land at a runway of its choosing. Naturally Fire and Rescue ala Spain are dispatched along with the airport police and apparently a small UNIT regiment.

Vacating the plane is the proffesor and several of the crew as they go completely bananas and start attacking anyone in arm's length. Somehow retaining some of their rudimentary intelligence our zombies can use firearms and melee weapons...although they do not seem to understand the need to reload but that is okay, they have fall back zombie strength, knives and thumping sticks aplenty. By the way, we are at the 8:45 minute mark so it kinda sets a tone there. Yeah the tone is lots of throat slashing and gutting going on with several squib blood packets squirting away. With the entire tower personnel, airport security and police completely wiped out we need to cut away to... a jazzercise infomercial? Oh sorry I meant a disco dance collective troupe. Oh please fast paced, weapon wielding zombies, eat them. If that wasn't kooky enough, the zombies seem to drive cars as well. Yup motor skills and motorist skills as well. They just seem to be bloodsucking mutes.

I think I have something on my contact.

General Murchison (Mel Ferrer of Lili. War and Peace, The Longest Day, Falcon Crest, Seduced, Hotel, Christine Cromwell and Eye of the Widow) a four star general of the Air Force or perhaps the Army puts a big clamp down on any broadcast until they have the situation well in hand. Spineless jackrabbit boss shows his little yellow belly to the general and Dean quits. Heading out to find his wife Anna (Laura Trotter of Obscene Desire, Gege Bellavita, The Warning, Nightmare City, Rush, Miami Golem and Close Friends) while the madness continues, Dean cannot help but wonder what is the cause of it all and can it be stopped. The Civil Defense concludes due to the mass rads our flesh eaters absorbed they need fresh blood as well as flesh. So they are rad feral ghoul vampires??

A few words on the moving pictures of the day.

Hugo Stiglitz was Lenzi's choice over Franco Nero (DJANGO DAMMIT!!) and I cannot help but think he would have given the zombies the steely gray eyes and they would have panicked away.

Predominately Mexican and Spanish actors with Italian and Spanish extras my only real complaint is the zombie make-up that seemed like a standard look as it looked like month old oatmeal smeared on their heads and some coloring added to it. Limbs, gut wounds and even headshots were pretty decent for the year of 1980. Heck even the blood coloring was not that bright red almost solvent paint color from the 60s and the 70s. The editing in the film is very fast paced with some cheesy dialogue but what do you want from dubbed lines? The nudity is...well yeah there is a fair amount of it around the movie. So if you love the Euro/Spanish horrors and are a fan of random zombie attacks followed by topless girls then this my friends, is your film.

Whew! Almost had a black box moment there.

Zombie Stew: Zombi 3

In a world that allows no cels to hit the cutting floor, 95 minutes to be chopped down to 84 and 72 thus confusing most viewers and more than 8 English alternative titles comes... well a lot of pain mostly. Welcome to Day 1 of Zombie Stew and boy do I have a treat for you all. Imagine what promises to be a Fulci movie but later revealed to be batted around by Bruno Mattei and finished off by Claudio Fragasso. This is Zombi 3.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FRUIT TO DECLARE?!!!

Also the common title for this flick being Flesh Eaters 2 our brilliant silver screen schlock establishes a terrorist attack at a chemical company, armed assailants snag a potential bio-weapon name of Death One for...a jihad? Demands to the release of their captive brothers-in-arms? Money? Yeah that part never really got focused on. With all the subtly of a cheeseball 80s action film a gun fight ensues and most of the terrorists are wiped out. One escapes into the jungle with the canister of some seriously nasty compounds when he notices the case was damaged and the canister is leaking some strange fluid on him.

With a go around with the military and scientists snarking at one another, the lead scientist Dr. Holder (Robert Marius of Heroes for Hire, Dog Tags, Warriors of the Apocalypse, Vengeance Squad, American Commandos, Movie in Action and Aliens from the Deep) explains with great length of exposition what the virus could do and even the possibility what it could do to the deceased. General Morton (Mike Monty of Thompson 1880, The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance, Achtung! The Desert Tigers, Proibito erotico, Emmanuelle 3 and Dog Tags) scoffs at Holder and tells him to go play with his test tubes and everything is at hand. No sooner do they burn the bodies that Holder tells him the virus can be made airborne and anything in those wind patterns can be affected.

Scotty from Evil Dead has seen better days.

With a camper full of fun filled teens/twenty somethings they are up for anything as they drive by a jeep of three "American Soldiers"...with long hair...and beards and frankly looking as Army as Crosby, Stills and Nash. With an evacuation order, Morton's people are trying to get everyone that has not been bit to safety. Maybe offer them some salt as well. Will Kenny Loggins and Doofus Company be able to fend off the zombies? Is the chemicals really covering the island? What is to be come of the population?

A few points of interest on this flick now. Lucio Fulci (Don't Torture a Duckling, City of the Living Dead, The House by the Cemetery and Demonia) was set to direct it when he had a mild stroke, a few days rest and he wanted to get back to work. After another 70 minutes of footage he had a major stroke and had to leave for his own health. Editor and second unit director at the time Bruno Mattei (Hell of the Living Dead, Rats: Night of Terror, Strike Commando, The Tomb and The Jail: The Women's Hell) was asked to set into some really big shoes. Between Mattei and Claudio Fragasso they managed to edit down and add an additional 40 minutes to the film so there are about three English dubbed versions coupled with the film being re-released so many times it is difficult to nail down a definitive copy.

The continuity of which director was pushing which portion of script gets very confusing. On one end it feels like Hell of the Living Dead and next we have a chainsaw wielding, Kung Fu zombie smashing the place up and the funniest thing is Resident Evil: Extinction lifting the carrion feeding birds affected by a zombie plague from this movie.

Where...Margaritaville??

Zombie Stew

Welcome back to Rotten Reelz Reviews! Well the week is here and I have been scrambling to come up with a week when I feel I should just go back to the roots of the former occupation of epinions.com. Back when I was stuck viewing crappy horror flicks, trying to look at them objectively and usually end up describing the technically applications of the film in question. So naturally the easiest thing in the world is to plunk my hinder down in front of the idiot box and view my least favorite of the horror genre.

We're back again!!!  Jake really likes us!!

Yes, that is correct. Zombie films. Don't get me wrong, every so often I am surprised by a film of that particular subgenre like La Horde or the Tombs of the Blind Dead but more often enough I end up slugging through turds like Zombie Lake, Oasis of the Zombies or Ghost Galleon and it is obligatory T & A and more blood and guts than an abattoir.

That in mind I will be looking at some of the early 80s to 90s to see if there are any gems that were missed or forgotten in the hopes of not only something entertaining but genuinely creepy.

With a bit of sigh from my lips and slight optimism in my heart I will find something worth viewing. Almost certain of it...possibly.

My pants are soggy..er...I mean FLESH!!!!

THE BRITISH INVASION: Keeping Up Appearances

Greetings and hello to those under the yoke of THE BRITISH INVASION... Yes I have managed a bit of mileage out of this title. Would have been kilometers but we were never properly taught the metric system. Our series of the day involves a pretentious social climber with eccentric behavior and a snobbish standing with lower class. A woman that refuses to alter her own phone number and therefore receives countless phone calls for a Chinese take-out and delivery. This is Keeping Up Appearances.

Well? Was the pool boy dead when you found him??!!

Hyacinth Bucket (Patrica Routledge of To Sir, with Love, Sense and Sensibility, His and Hers, Girl Stroke Boy, David Copperfield, Hetty Wainthropp Investigates and In Search of the Brontes) who insists her surname be pronounced Bouquet is constantly attempting to gain good standing amongst the upper class and she is loathe to admit her lower class family. Often faking a Received Pronunciation accent as all her neighbors speak with such, when flustered or agitated she slips back to her Northern accent. Her husband Richard (Clive Swift of Excalibur, Doctor Who, The Pickwick Papers, The Famous Five, Peak Practice and The Old Guys) is both mentally and physically taxed by all the demands, ideas and suggestions on how they should appear to the neighbors but does such as he no doubt loves her in spite of the woman's absurd behavior.

Portrait of the extremely nervous...

 With a grain of salt her brother-in-law Onslow (Geoffrey Hughes of Yellow Submarine, Coronation Street, Keeping Up Appearances, Heartbeat and Skins) I believe lives off the dul quo because I have never seen him working at a job in all the episodes along with Hycinth's sisters Daisy (Two for the Road, The December Rose, Farrington of the F.O., Doctor Who, The Famous Five, Heartbeat and David Copperfield TV Movie) and Rose (Mary Millar of The Stanley Baxter Show, The Dick Emery Show, Rookery Nook and Keeping Up Appearances) got suckered into watching over their quite senile father (George Webb of The Wednesday Play, Mongul, Mr. Bean and Keeping Up Appearances) who has flashbacks of World War II and a pension to roaming about starkers or making advances to women abroad.

The only relatives that Hycinth would be more than happy to acknowledge is her sister Violet (Anna Dawson of Bloodbath at the House of Death, The New Statesman, Bad Boyes and The Benny Hill Show) who is referenced to her friends as, "The one with a Mercedes, swimming pool, sauna and room for a pony." and her never seen son Sheridan who seems to fancy needlepoint, lives with another lad name of Tarquin as they make curtains, decorate their flat and seem to get on famously. Oh nineties, how subtle you were about potentially gay young men in your humor.

With her constant bragging of expensive wallpaper, parkay floors, Royal Doulton china with the hand-painted periwinkles she feels this will clearly show without a doubt her taste and poise.

As an American I take a different view of this odious woman and would have dispensed with her in the means of an ax, six plastic waste-bags and a few trips in the Burroughs to drop her remains off but you know us bloodthirsty, gun lobbying, poorly educated loonies. My girlfriend feels she simply needs to be avoided or have a stern talking to. Clearly a more patient and decent human being than I.

As a sit-com this has all sorts of disasters to mock and have fun with. The characters are fun, varied in classes and that always opens for jabbing at one another. Highly pleasurable and welcome to introduction to BBC.

Oh dear, the tunnel of chili didn't sit well.

THE BRITISH INVASION: As Times Goes By

THE BRITISH INVASION CONTINUES!!! Sheesh, looks like a newspaper heading. Imagine a pair of lovers prior to the Korean War. A young second lieutenant falls for a nurse in 1953 and they are in love but they become separated when the lieutenant was posted to Korea and lose track of each other. This is As Time Goes By.

Stop grinning or you will have no tip.

Second Lieutenant Lionel Hardcastle (Geoffrey Palmer of The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, Fawlty Towers, Whoops Apocalypse, The Last Song, A Fish Called Wanda, Hot Metal, The Savages and North by Northamptonshire) has spent the last 38 years on a plantation in Kenya as a coffee planter decides to write his memoirs when the secretarial agency is owned by a former nurse name of Jean Pargetter (Judi Dench of Hilda Lessways, A Study in Terror, Theatre 625, A Midsummer Night's Dream, A Fine Romance, GoldenEye, Shakespeare in Love, GoldenEye: Rogue Agent, Pride & Prejudice, and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel ). Jean created her agency Type For You after the passing of her husband and raise her daughter Judith (Moira Brooker of The Doctor and the Devils, Made in Heaven, Owd Bob, Out of Sight, As Time Goes By and The Bill) as an assistant for the firm.

Oh do begone, camera 2!

Jean realizes that Lionel is the same Lionel of some many years ago. Naturally both have their pride and are equally stubborn on how broke of their first love. After a few confusing miscommunications and misconceptions that their mutual letters were lost and did not make their way to each other. Lionel's publisher Alistair Deacon (Philip Bretherton of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple: At Bertram's Hotel, Hollyoaks, Casualty, Footballers' Wives, Coronation Street and Young Dracula) a boy genius with more energy and verve than any man should but he is a whiz at the game with far too many contacts and connections come Hell or highwater he will publish Lionel's book and pull out all the stops to get it out there.

Can a romance of so many years ago ever be rekindled? Can two lovers ever reunite?

A few comments on the series now.

The man and woman in the pictures of the beginning of the show are supposed to be Jean and Lionel are actually Judi Dench's daughter and Geoffrey Palmer's son. The role of Jean was originally written for Jean Simmons (Guys and Dolls, The Big Country, Spartacus and Howl's Moving Castle). With the program's original title was "Winter with flowers" but when the cake featured with the title, the cast and crew didn't want any cake until the name of the series was changed and I can't say I blamed them. Given the precarious nature of BBC programming and scheduling the series managed the 10 year stretch and unlike most of American series it did not go over 13 episodes per season. 

Whatever happened to the cat?

 

THE BRITISH INVASION: Spaced

FEAR THE BRITISH INVASION!!!! Howdy all and welcome to Day 1 of my ridiculous title of the week. I wanted to start off by plugging one of my favorite shows that was created by the very talented trio in question.

Director/writer/producer/actor Edgar Wright (Mash and Peas, Asylum, Is It Bill Bailey?, Sir Bernard's Stately Homes, Shaun of the Dead, Funky Pete, Straight 8 and The World's End), writer/actor Simon Pegg (Six Pair of Pants, Asylum, Spaced, Big Train, Danger! 50,000 Zombies!, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Paul and Star Trek Beyond) and writer/actor Jessica Hynes (Six Pairs of Pants, Asylum, Spaced, Lizzie and Sarah, Common Ground and Up the Women) had put together males and females in their early 20's in bizarre situations similar to Friends only... this is actually funny. This is Spaced.

Monster Movie or perhaps a bizarre furry?

For those Friends fans, tough titty. Not a fan and would have never associated with any of those characters for they are all EeeeEeeeeEeeevil!!!!!! Spaced is about the lives of individuals and their mates colliding through life. Enter Tim Bisley (Simon Pegg) an aspiring comic book artist/writer who works at a comic bookstore, plays PS games, DND and other such nerd genre who just broke up with his girlfriend and by that, I mean she threw him out and moved on. Ouch. While looking at the house supplements he meets Daisy Steiner (Jessica Hynes) an aspiring writer who simply cannot focus on one subject long enough to do some articles to pay the bills and temps awful jobs, hangs with her bff, struggles with a long distance relationship with her dull boyfriend and attempts to connect with all around her.

The freezer that time forgot!!!

The two meet at a greasy diner and just start having a laugh and are genuinely enjoying each others company when they find an advert for a flat (apartment, yankee brethren) to rent for a minuscule amount but... the catch is the flat is intended for a successful upcoming couple to share. The two get the idea to fake being a couple to get the place and all will be solved. The landlady Marsha (Julia Deakin of Coronation Street, Shaun of the Dead, Between Two Women, House of Anubis, Doctors, The World's End and Big, Bad World) is a bit batty, a lush and has the teenage daughter from Hell but is a good sort.

One other resident of the flat is a tormented, bizarre and frankly screwy artist known as Brian (Mark Heap of How Do You Want Me?, Doc Martin,Jam, Brass Eye, Big Train, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Green Wing and Alpha Male) sort of appears... by magic? Dark forces of the nether realm? Not sure. Daisy and Tim attempt to keep this secret from Marsha informing their collective friends Twist (Katy Carmichael of Liverpool 1, Dead Babies, Clocking Off, Coronation Street, Waterloo Road and Casualty) a high maitanence, party girl that loves fashion and is brutally honest and Mike (Nick Frost of Big Train, Spaced, Danger! 50,000 Zombies!, Black Books, Shaun of the Dead, Straight 8, Hot Fuzz, Hyperdrive and The World's End) a paranoid, gun nut that happens to be in Territorial Army (Britian's National Guard for again the Imperalist Yankee Dogs!!).

A few notes on the technical side of the show now. 

 Edgar Wright only used one camera for the whole series which is unusual as you get different reactions from different shots and while the flat was the center of most of the episodes it never felt like a cramped set.   1 to 78 frames per second this show got shot in both black and white and color and was done so on Digital Betacam, commonly used for TV broadcast so all the comforts of VHS with higher quality resolution.

 Guest star Peter Serafinowicz who appears as Tim's nemesis Duane Benzie uses this gravely guttural voice as a menacing man it is also the same voice he used for Darth Maul in Phantom Menace.

BBC Channel 4 had commissioned both season 1and 2 before season 1 even aired. Constant pop culture references come up in this series with Evil Dead Scooby-Doo, The Omen. Hell I think I saw a couple of Pulp Fiction ones as well. Pegg's character name is an homage to Graphic Fantasy artist Simon Bisley (Lobo, Heavy Metal, Heavy Metal: Geomatrix and Skyborg Into the Vortex) 

Give us Gary Glitter or be probed... a lot.

THE BRITISH INVASION!!!!!

They have infected your television, social media and music. Your friends attempt cockney accents and fail. The repeated Monty Python skits that your friends and family are slowly killing. Face facts, the BBC has invaded your lives for many years. Hey folks, I am back with a new week altogether as this week we enjoy some comedy, drama and maybe even a mystery or two.

Hmm Tramadol makes one...loose.

With the aid of BBC America, most of the states are aware that not only England exists but there is some genuine entertainment meant to be had and enjoyed for all. With science fiction, sci-fi fantasy, some horror titles and far too many of their series remade by the Americans. * slap * Bad ole America. Series like Couplings, The Office and Broadchurch have been imitated with a failed pilot and four episodes and flopped, Broadchurch with Gracepoint and The Office with...well The Office.

For as many successes these different series will have there seems to be America over in the corner, wallflowering and thinking, "If only I could be as cool as that." Wake up America!!! There are plenty of shows and film we have reason to take applause and bow for that we really do not need to resort to re-labeling every British creation. Case in point, I was watching Netflix's streaming Being Human but the tags were wrong so I got the actual UK version and thought, "Wow this is really good but I don't recognize the cast as I did from the promos. Maybe this is an earlier season." Yeah, so while I have seen both versions and each do take away with their own spin. Face facts, folks. Original is usually better.

With all this in mind, the quiet attacks have occurred and you are all helpless before "THE BRITISH INVASION"... Well is was either that or The British Are Here and the last running up was BBC Gems. So if you fancy a cuppa and some biccies, turn on the telly and have a few sniggers then I welcome you to the landing of THE BRITISH INVASION. Cheery'o. Uh I mean ta-ta.   Bugger.  Bye then!

The face Caroline Munro's fanboys make when they see her.