Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Vampire Week: Vampire Warriors

Ah if I had a nickel for every time I saw a Chinese vampire movie…well okay I would have about 25 cents but that is neither here nor there. So grab your Zen archery set and a Shuang Shou Jian for decap.  This is Vampire Warriors.

Smoking does a hunk of wood in your chest.

Spoilers can be destroyed with sunlight, garlic and wooden stakes.

Director/Writer and producer Dennis Law (The Unusual Youth, Fatal Contact, Fatal Move and King of Triads) brings us this deeply suspenseful conflict an uneasy friendship between a vampire hunter Ar (Luxia Jiang of Ninja Masters, King of Triads, True Legend and Naked Soldier) and family of vegetarian vampires Max (Chrissie Chow of Love Undercover 3, Beautyworld, Seven 2 One and Perfect Wedding) and her father who cannot keep it in his pants Lung (Siu-hou Chin of Mr. Vampire, Chu dao gui jing, Twin Warriors and Fist of Legend).

Children of the night...sipping water. Spooky.

Ar roams about hunting down evil vampires attempting to find the vampire that put the bite on her sister So (Pinky Cheung of Colour of the Truth, Good Times, Bed Times, Sex and the Beauties, Triad Wars, King of Triads and Fire of Conscience) while Max and her apparently neutral or good vampires hang around town constantly complaining how bored they are.  Apparently immortality is such a buzz kill. 
All of that changes as a powerful and malicious vampire of the name of Mung (Wah Yeun of Supercop, The Master, Twins Mission, Looking for Jackie and Kung Fu Wing Chun) who gains strength from every vampire he kills absorbing their power regardless how little they possess.  It’s a bit like Yu Law channeling the chi from his doppelgangers.  Ar joins forces with Max’s family to fend off this evil blight that is…Mung. 

With that in mind I would like to take this time to point out a few things about said movie. There is an exorbitant amount of wire work in this film and the fight sequences are actually pretty impressive but the story feels like it is dragging rather than unfolding.  It lags in parts and feels disconnected in-between the fight scene.   Apparently all vampires seem to garb in some form of leather clothing and because a girl befriends another girl is clearly a transparent undertone for the writer force his actresses to imply a lesbian romance sub story.   The director comes off as though he is just half assing the film and has no real association into and yet he wrote and produced this as well.  

OOooO...this one had shrooms.

These are signs that a self producer may be too busy pinching his pennies to check in on whether or not his editor is an alcoholic.  The overall production feels 25% done and no one is speaking up for its potential.  A simple refresh and fleshing out the characters with a bit of back story, goals and closer attachments.  More dialogue of people speaking their minds instead of speech that feels like you are attending a lecture.  Not a recommended work of the cinema for you people that value…brain cells, a coherent story and in general a fun time.