Thursday, May 2, 2013

Vampire Week: Vampyres

Howdy all and welcome back for day 4 of Vampire Week.  Well so far we have seen some disappointments, few out and out monsters and some blatant attempts to keep men and women in their seats with erotic scenes…  So let’s get more of those!   Yes instead of the typical Italian horror exploitation we journey on to England in almost true Hammer form for our vamp smut.   So curb your appetite, dare not look in the basement and for crying out loud have a hammer and stake.   This is Vampyres.

Hey, that's not a slumber party!

Succulent and sinister, spoilers lure men to their doom!

Horror sexploitation director Jose Ramon Larraz (Deviation, The House That Vanished, Stigma, Madame Olga’s Pupils and Los ritos sexual del Diablo) brings us a tawdry tale of a lesbian vampire couple’s feeding frenzy throughout the English countryside.   Yeah the boys reading this review just perked up ladies.  Sorry about that but they are pigs.  The concept is simple enough for any man to follow.  The ladies lure horny, unsuspecting men to their country estate, feed and pleasure them, then drain other fluids from them as well.  Our lovely creatures of the night are Fran (Marianne Morris of Lovebox, The Over-Amorous Artist, No Strings and Queen Kong) and Miriam (1973 Playmate Anulka Dziubinska of Lisztomania, The Likely Lads, The New Avengers, The Tomorrow People and Bare Essence) a deadly duo that do not mind playing with their food before feeding.   


These two fiendish femme fatales periodically wander out among the grounds hitchhiking looking for men to take home and proceed to dispense with them.   Then one day Miriam encounters a stranger of the name of Ted (Murray Brown of The Wars of the Roses, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Black Windmill, Shadows and The New Avengers) who Miriam does not drain completely but leaves him in a slight anemic state.  As he heads down the road he encounters a young married couple that treats his wounds and for some reason (HORNDOG WRITING) the wife becomes enamored with the house and the vampiric vixens as well.  

Couple most be beaten to death with clown hammers.

And now comes the part where I will delight and bore you with details of the flick.  This is the second Eurohorror vampire film that was modern age rather than a time period piece.  The first film is Dracula ’72 from Hammer Productions.  The House for the film is Oakley Court which has been used in several Hammer films as well as The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Hmm lesbian vampire couple or Dr. Frank-N-furter could answer the door. 

The married couple needs to be cleansed with fire.  Yes a bit harsh but the husband constantly berates his wife and she is well a bit whiney and distracted easily by shiny objects. Due to the graphic violence and fairly steamy sex scenes of which are at least half of this movie you can surmise this is not one for the kiddies. 

Ahh, a toast to cleavage!

The plot is a bit weak, character development is not a big priority and several shots of the film is the sultry undead are roaming about in the day.  Granted they have these huge cloak and hoods but they are never wearing the hoods over themselves.  Could have been day for night shots but if that is the case then they were really bad.  Thank God we got plenty of bedroom action and some bathing scenes though.  

Oh yes and my personal favorite when looking for films online, it has about 7 alternative titles: Blood Hunger, Daughters of Dracula, Satan’s Daughters, Ossessione carnale, Vampyre Orgy, Vampyres: Daughters of Dracula and Vampires: Daughters of Darkness.  Suffice to say I had to use 5 of them just to find a copy.  Netflix was baffled.