Atomic Monsters Week: The Beginning of the End

Howdy folks and welcome back to the last day of Atomic Monsters Week.  Sorry for yesterday’s absence, it was a health issue and that all need be said about that.  This time around atomic radiation has struck the insect kingdom again but alas there will be nowhere near as cool effects of “Them!”, and we are stuck with postcards representing buildings and lots of super imposed creatures so grab you Thompson submachine gun, bring extra mags and remember to fire in short, controlled bursts.  This is The Beginning of the End.

 

Psst buddy, know where I can get some weed?

Gen. John T. Short: Dr. Wainright, you’re a spoiler, you know what grasshoppers can do.  I’m a soldier; I know what guns can do.

Okay folks before we get in too deep with the film I must submit the following warning: This is a Burt I. Gordon movie.  This means lots and lots of padding throughout the film.  There is more padding than a bullet bra.  So following Roger Corman’s law of no frame will be allowed to hit the cutting floor means it will drag on…and on…and some more.    That being said it is very unintentionally funny.

Photojournalist Audrey Aimes (Peggy Castle of Invasion U.S.A., Miracle in the Rain, Lawman and Back from the Dead) discovers a military roadblock to the town of Ludlum Illinois and to what purpose she doesn’t know.  Sensing a scoop in the works she speaks to the National Guard Commander, Colonel Tom Sturgeon (Thomas Browne Henry of Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, 20 Million Miles to Earth and The Brain from Planet Arous) who feeds he a line of abaloney (fish joke) and then cops to saying off the record they are investigating the town and its lack of a population overnight.

Alright men! I found Mr. Graves' contact lens.

Searching for any clue to why this town of 150 people disappeared and that the grass and farmland have been stripped bare she heads to a nearby US Department of Agriculture farm to get any insight to what creature or creatures would make such a mess and in such a short span of time.  She meets up with Dr. Ed. Wainwright (Peter Graves of Mission: Impossible, It Conquered the World, Fury, Night of the Hunter and Airplane!) a sauve, tall drink of water that has been using radiation to grow enormous fruits and vegetables as a template to ending world hunger.  Aimes persuades Wainwright and his assistant Frank (a deaf mute who didn’t ask his agent to give him a decent speaking role) to stop their fiddling with atomic veggie salad and help her figure out this mystery.  No sooner are they hot on the trail, Frank is scissored in half by a giant grasshopper mistaking Frank for a blade of grass.  Well we are lead to believe that because it is an off-screen death but still Aimes and Wainwright go for immediate help from the National Guard and a platoon head out to search for Wainwright’s bug.

Skeptical they make their way into the woods to be ambushed by dozens of grasshoppers using Rommel’s surprise outflanking maneuver…okay they leapt out in mass numbers to eat people.  You’re taking all the fun out of my writing.  The super imposing is laughable, the reactions are way over the top and Graves looks good in a shirt, tie and a Tommy gun spraying.  It is a gem of foolishness and enjoyable for its blatant lack of science.

GET OUT OF MY FRUIT CELLAR!!!