Eurozombie Week: Zombie Lake

Howdy gang and welcome back to another helping of Eurozombie Week and boy oh boy it just doesn’t get more depraved than this steaming pile of celluloid.   Yes while some of the better portion of the Eurohorrors could be thought provoking, amazing in the cinematography I can honestly say there is no redeeming value from the film I am about to yammer on about.  So pack up your troubles, head into the wilderness and of course skinny dip in one of the foulest looking lakes imaginable.  This is Zombie Lake.

 

Peter Lorre or dying mollusk? You decide

Morane: So, you think that spoilers killed them?

The Mayor: Yes, that is what I think.

Filmed in old school 35mm Spherical (Eastmancolor) our  picturesque pile of puppy poo opens with the an attractive young girl in a tied shirt and cut offs as she strips down.  Yeah a minute and 30 and already a wide zoom of this girl in the buff so clearly we are in for a classy flick.  Also the patented 70’s soft core porn music gives it a lecherous ambiance.   One of our gruesome ghoulie Gestapo grabs the girl into the grotto.  Hehe sorry I was having literal fun. 

Zombies attempting a rendition of Swan Lake.

No sooner has one girl gone missing a girl doing laundry is nibbled to death and her bite wound looks really syrupy and our dampened undead’s makeup is washed off quite about a bit.  The lake seems to be a focal point in this small hamlet of France during World War II.  Once long ago this lake was used for witchcraft in the purest sense and the French Resistance made a final stand against the Nazis with the help of the Allied forces and a young French girl fancies a Nazi soldier…well you get the jist of that particular 4 minute scene.   On patrol the Resistance ambushes this platoon worth of men and drags their bodies to their magically imbued lake.   Why?  Who the hell could say? 

Such a painful scene...watching this girl act.

Our esteemed mayor of the town takes a knee with a reporter and gives detail of the disturbing lake’s origin and frankly I was baffled to see an official let loose these deep dark secrets.  But enough of that, let’s jump 40 years ahead as a all-girl netball team are frolicking after a long tournament and naturally being down at the swamp fetid lake they are aching to get nude and splish splash in the waters.  As we are all aware the merest sound of water skylarking and merriment attracts underwater zombies like sharks to blood.  Well ladies I would like this opportunity to apologize how misogynistic this film is.  Yes what I am about to tell you will make you ill.

Molester Nazi Zombies is something I never thought I would have put to typing but there it is.  Yes our rotten corpses are having their way with the young netball team from multiple angles, on land and underwater.   Seriously the only thing this film is lacking is Debbie Does Dallas soundtrack and penetration shots.    

The brain child creator of this sleazy concept is writer/director Jesus Franco (Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein, The Awful Dr. Orlof, Vampyres, Zombie 5 and Killer Barbys vs. Dracula) and director Jean Rollin (The Rape of the Vampire, The Nude Vampire, Curse of the Living Dead, The Grapes of Death, The Escapees and The Living Dead Girls)so you can imagine my utter distain for this film and lack of ANY plot.   I cannot even put a trailer to this film due to the frontal nudity that practically dominates the trailer itself.   I fortunately was not completely sober to review this tripe of film.

STAY OFF THE MOORS!!!