Monday, February 23, 2015


Hey folks back again. Okay we are getting off the sci-fi kick for a bit because well I have been on TV shows for two weeks now and it is time to head back to the roots. Mindless violence, wooden acting, jiggly girls running upstairs when they should head out the front down and unstoppable monsters. So this week is aptly named Gorefest.

Its titanium alloy can withstand a LAW rocket... but stairs are a hassle.

From anything from the hidden serial slasher, machines run amok to the hackney write ups that could only be plot devices and never real life, these films would have been passed up by most people that either went through the horror aisle or the 5 dollar bargain bin at Best Buy or Walmart.
Cliches aside, it is funny to see how serious the actors and director try to take the written content without just busting up and laughing that the sheer absurdity of it all.

In her last moments she was just thinking how much money she save on GEICO.

According to most of these writers, maximum security insane asylums have as much promise of locking away the lunatics as Arkham. They seem to have revolving doors for these wackos as they leave a few or a trail of dead bodies in their wake. Experimental technology always goes haywire and rends a bloody mess and the creatures of darkness are always summoned, disturbed or in general irked. All these scenarios have one thing in common that is the first domino. Horny, hapless and brainless teenagers. Whether they are boozing it up, tokin' up or jumping each others bones, this common denominator upsets these multiverses so often you would think fictional towns would burn teenagers at the stake as a lesson to the rest. Alas, such is never the case thus far and evil denizens swarm the lands and the good town or city folk must reap that of which they sow.

So enjoy the pain of these potentially horrific works of fiction my eyes and ears will have to endure.

No peripheral vision is a real drag.