Karate Girl

Back again blog fans. Man, it's almost like I do this regularly. Scheduled a haircut for today so I can actually get some filming done on Phantasm II video review.   Guaranteed to be a tooter and a titter. Today's film has a ring of infamy.  Okay, sit down and I will explain.  As some of you may be unaware, the country Turkey has had some stringent rules about TV and Film.   Issues with nudity, graphic violence and even cursing in their films.   So with that in mind, imagine such films as Ms. .45 and I Spit on Your Grave being the inspiration for today's flick but not being able to show that same level of vulgarity, violence and depictions of rape.  This is Karate Girl. a.k.a. Golden Girl Karate Girl.

The subtitles mock her gun handling.

Yes, that alternative title was so absurd I felt it deserved to be given its due.   We open with title cards and a piano score which ends abruptly.   You know how most scores will fade out?   Well, this one just ends.  We see a gorgeous view of the land, a bit of waterfront and what I took to be a dingy blonde handing out flowers.  Oh wait, that's our protagonist.   Now understand this, she appears to be a bit simple, mute and selling her father's flowers for money.

Not exactly the beginnings of an antihero story arc, right?   You can't have Harry Callahan trimming a Banzai tree and then minutes later, blasting a guy in the chest. Our little blond is known as Zeynep (Filiz Akin of Fluffy dreams, Little darling, Separation, Sweet Language, Bitter Life and I cry), whose life consists of tending to her farm, cooking and cleaning after her father who works primarily in his greenhouse.  Yeah so, after peddling flowers that somehow almost everyone is accommodating to throw her the odd coin for, she heads home for a lengthy walk, cleans the place up, does the laundry and cooks for dad.

Turkish Randolph Scott senses danger.

Due to lengthy exposition plot dump, we find out they have saved enough money to get Zeynep an operation to get her voice back.   Oh happy day, callooh callay.  Unbeknownst to our simple farm folk, a gang of thieves, murderers and rapists escape in the middle of the night from a secure prison and are on the loose.

They sneak their way on the farm, help themselves to food, the saved money and kill dear old dad. The shock and trauma gives Zeynep her voice back and a burning determination to seek revenge. Well bright side, you don't have to save up money again...except for dad's funeral expenses.

The police try to see if Zeynep knows whether or not the fugitives at large are responsible by supplying her with the blurriest photos of each men in a slideshow presentation.  Looked like these things were taken underwater and out of focus.   Zeynep plays dumb and claims she doesn't recognize these men as she will hunt them down herself.

A stranger comes to her farm, asking for shelter and food for a day's work.  Name of Murat (Ediz Hun of I will cry for tomorrow, My life is yours, Rose, All mothers are brothers, Separation and Doubt),our handsome stranger strikes a rapport with Zeynep almost instantly.   Yeah they really need to understand the importance of a title card, wipe or dissolve. These tools establish time has lapsed.

Peasant by day, leather momma by night.

Murat shows her how to shoot, react to combat and gives her advice on what each objective must be in order to win the day and not succumb to the darkness of a gun. She must control her actions, aim for the heart, catch flies with chopsticks and never go the path of the Dark Side. Yeah, I may have encountered a few mentor characters in my reviewing.

Will Zeynep get her revenge? Will handsome Murat take her as his own? Can the jump cuts in this flick not be so jarring???

Okay a bit of trivia now.  In 2012, a viral clip of this very movie when on almost every social media possible, calling it "the worse movie death scene ever".  By that, they clearly meant the worse death scene placed on film because it is far too over the top and goofy.   Thankfully my version has a voice over during that so I do not have to hear the minute and seven seconds of a guy screaming from multiple gun shots.

Yeah it goes on quite a bit and is hammy but not longer than some death scenes, including Sleepaway Camp's pedo chef scalding screaming scene or the 2 minutes and 15 of Heather death of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation sequences. That being said, it's painful to behold.   So poorly done.

Our Turkish cuts of film is extreme jump cut endings with nothing formulating time difference, a transition if you will.  Nothing of film technique like a dissolve, wipe or fade to point out that scene is finished and onto the next one.  Seriously, a guy is mourning his brother dying in the hospital and the abrupt move to the next scene without any resolution.

So yeah, at best you have ideas, concepts trying to be put across.  Um, the actions scenes are passable but the overall execution of movie is lacking.  This is ideal for a drinking game for film makers. AHHH! Out of focus! Drink!   Ahhh not properly blocked!  Drink!

Feel free to work on riffs for the film.   I know I want to do a bit of that writing but again, I put it on YouTube and no one sees it. Awww Sad Clown.

Tomorrow busy with being an extra on a indie film so no write ups on Wednesday. Ta ta!

Filiz Akin is Turkish Policewoman...in Color.

Z Nation Season 2

Howdy-doolie-doo readers! I'm back again! Call off the search parties!!! Available single women continue to swoon and all is well in the world. Boy, I'm really glad I don't have that inflated of an ego. Okay, nonsense out of the way. Today I thought we should go back to some TV viewing and that is we will be looking into the wayward struggling survivors of the Zompocalypse. With roving bands of marauders, looters, bounty hunters and of course a ton of zeds, our heroes continue on trying to get their package to safety. This is Z Nation Season 2.

Boys, boys, boys. Stop fighting. You're both pretty.

Well a lot has happened to our crew. Losing friends and family on this road trip through Hell, our team led by Lt. Warren (Kellita Smith of The Bernie Mac Show, King's Ransom, Feel the Noise, Conspiracy X, The First Family and Z Nation) carrying the burden of command and dragging the ragtag group nonstop from madcap adventure to the next, have lost track of their potential cure to the zombie plague, Murphy(Keith Allan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek: Enterprise, Air Collision, Social Nightmare, Zombie Night and Rise of the Zombies) as he has been exhibiting powers such as zombie control. Yup the dead heads are listening to him and he isn't even Jerry Garcia. See what I did there? Huh? Huh?

Because of this colossal pig screw of events, Specialist Simon or Citizen Z (DJ Qualls of Road Trip, Cherry Falls, The New Guy, Comic Book Villains, Last Day of Summer, Supernatural, Perception and Z Nation) has been out of contact with the group and has no choice but to issue a bounty on Murphy to anyone that can capture him alive. Offering ridiculous rewards like a radio DJ for a concert. Free back stage passes and T-Shirts!!!

Factory recall on latest Easy Cheese cans didn't help this guy.

Kooky chemist Doc (Russell Hodgkinson of Big Fish, We Go Way Back, ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction, Mystery Case Files: The 13^th Skull, Grimm, 21 & Over, A Bit of Bad Luck and 7 Minutes), Melee Mistress Addy (Anatasia Baranova of 7^th Heaven, Veronica Mars, Rise: Blood Hunter, The Darkness II, Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z and Z Nation) and sniper extraordinaire 10 K (Nat Zang of Z Nation and AfterBuzz TV's Z Nation After Show) are in hot pursuit of Murph in the hopes that all their struggles and sacrifices are not in vain.

Murph has decided he doesn't want to be the savior of humanity and would rather watch the world burn with the best seat in the house. After all, the zombies aren't looking to eat his flesh, it's good to be king. Cassandra (Pisay Pao of Simply Fobulous, Your Lucky Day, Door to Door, NCIS: Los Angeles, and Z Nation) has had a little bit of a makeover as she's gone a bit peculiar, among other things.

Look alive.  Just saw Zombie Bruce Willis.

I know I harped on about this from Season 1 but I will repeat; with shows like The Walking Dead, The Strain, iZombie and Fear the Walking Dead taking such a serious view of this, it lacks anything fun to be had.   Life is Drama and Comedy so shouldn't your film and TV matter be both as well?   This time around more rad zombies, a strain of weed grown from zombie compost.  Is that Zompost?   Fallout occurs via nuclear reactor and this season is feeling it in every direction for 500 miles.   With radiation victims and newer, deadlier zombies; our team are in quite the pickle.

It simply has fun with our characters putting them in harm's way, having a laugh and bringing a core group together with surprising story lines, good character development, spot-on practical effects and some needed CGI.

I may enjoy me some Michonne but I'd follow Warren to the gates of Hell.  A swift knee in Satan's happy sack and she owns his ass. This series is only going to get better and frankly with less budget than The Walking Dead, they still produce an array of laughs, chills and spills.   Got to say I love how seasoned these characters already are to melee weapons and firearms without Green Beret training to every other branch.   Hell, most of them wouldn't qualify for S.W.A.T. Training but they are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh those star-cross loves...are not happening here.

Lucio Fulci's Sodoma's Ghost

Hey there readers. I'm still on a Lucio Fulci kick so let's dig through the archives. I found the synopsis of one film that sounded a tad bizarre and well let's face it, Fulci has created some odd flicks in his day. Not your typical hordes of darkness running their oozing fingers through human rib cages. No, this film seems a dark humor teen romp that leads to a sinister end.

This is Sodoma's Ghost.

Willy's a bit rough with the ladies.

I am trying to explain this film in my head and translate it to typing but nothing thus far can really begin to illustrate the sheer genius and vulgarity that it is.  So let's just dive in.   Deep with a little villa along in route to Paris, A Nazi and prostitute orgy is underway. These men are AWOL (Absent With Out Leave), getting pickled and plowing girls like the back 40 acres.

No wait.   This is the norm of this film.  One of these soldiers is recording this on I guess what looked like to me a Super 8mm camera but I am probably wrong.   All such revelry is brought to a screeching halt as the Allied bombs shell the villa, thus destroying it. (Cue bang jokes)  It's like the filthiest Hogan's Heroes episode ever written.   Hookers, Nazis and Death, oh my.

Cut to 1988, as those pesky teens (those damn kids that raise the dead, disturb the monster, irk vampires and make serial slashers return from the grave) are all in a van but no mysterious hitchhikers carving on themselves and no wheelchair bound Franklin to be had.  Sorry Texas Chainsaw fans. They are in fact, driving to Paris after some sort of holiday, backpacking and touring. HIPPIES!!! Sorry, sorry. Had to get that out of my system.

Hmm, they look comfortably close. wink wink. nudge nudge.

Going off the main road (which is always bad) they see the house from the opening scenes in more or less decent condition. Being naturally nosy or sensing they must heed to the call of the lemming, they get out of the van and start to teen gang investigate. Do you see what Scooby-Doo has done to so many people?

Let's meet the gang, shall we?

Paul (Claudio Aliotti of Confessions of Emanuelle, Stay as You Are, Champagne in Paradise and Sodoma's Ghost), Celine (Maria Concetta Salieri of Sodoma's Ghost), Annie (Teresa Razzaudi of Il lupo di mare, Gli indifferenti and A Cat in the Brain) and Jean (Sebastian Harrison of Love Me Lica, Bianco Apache, Classe di ferro and Betrayal of the Dove). Thank God, no Scrappy-Doo.

Naturally they treat the villa as their own in Bloody Pit of Terror fashion. I hope that means a sweaty, oiled up Mickey Hargitay in Crimson Executioner standing. They too will know the cold embrace of the Lover of Death!  Sweet Jesus I watch some truly mind warping crap.

Loving the Fabio Fritzi suspense music going into overdrive with...some minor exposition and chatter going on. Nothing is happening to warrant the suspense chase music!!!

As they explore, of course they're going to get horny.   Perfectly feasible this chain of events would happen. Willy the Nazi (yes he is credited as such) gets to solidify and pork one of the girls.  Also completely within the realms of probability that closeted lesbian tendencies will be explored in the creeper brothel of the damned here, and why wouldn't it?

Will the kids escape? Will the orgy of the dead continue? What the hell is going on??!!!

With the sex scenes in swing you'd think Jesus Franco was directing but nope. An eye gouge later brings me right back to Fulci land. I really do not know what to take away from this film.

Out of place suspense music where nothing is happening, exposition dumps from people not facing the camera and ridiculous over the top sex sequences with classical musical score.

That must be how they say goodbye in Austria.

Don't worry my sexist pig menfolk, there is full frontal nudity. This feels like a soft core porn with a plot. It almost feels like the death scenes, story arc and character development is interfering with the porn scenes.

The film's genius is here. Egotistical Nazis, femme boyfriends, closeted lesbians. It is obvious this belongs next to Schindler's List for its authenticity and painstaking attention to detail!! BRILLIANT!!

Our English dubbing is barely two different men and I swear the same woman for all three girls so yeah; that is confusing as Hell.

I will not be putting this up there with The Beyond or Black Cat so what I took away from this is ghosts get horny and teens will suffer for it. Buckets of blood, gore, nudity and well...the story just baffled me and I managed to muck my way through Zombie Doom. Alright, that's not true but this is Fulci!!! I should have a rough idea what's going on.

So if you need vengeful ghosts, dopey teens to twenty somethings, gobs of T & A and a few eyeballs getting violence aimed at them, than look no further.

Larry Flint's Nazi Party...with boobs.  Lots of them.

Lucio Fulci's Contraband

Hey gang. Well there are more than a few of you that have asked me when the next Rotten Reelz Reviews Video Review is coming out. I finished the script last week but I haven't gotten to any of the filming yet. That will be on tomorrow's agenda. Oh don't pout. Say, how about a Lucio Fulci movie to tide you over? This time around we are actually looking past his illustrious Horror endeavors and we are going into a crime drama. With smugglers of illegal goods, gangs and cartels, how can we go wrong? This is Contraband.

Say you look like Sean Connery.  SAY IT!

Not to be confused with the Marky Mark Walberg film in 2012. Nope, we hit the way back machine and set for 1980. Ah yes, an innocent time. Stock market manipulations, Reganomics and cocaine by the truckloads.

Starring Italian film Western and Action legend Fabio Testi (The Black Hand, Speed Driver, The Hawk and the Dove, Madman at War, Mussolini and I, Torrente 3: El protector and Sottocasa)as Luca Di Angelo. He and his brother Mickey (Enrico Maisto of Naples shoots!, Corleone, Naples, a story of love and revenge, Do Not Trust the Mafia and Fear in the City) are moving their ill gotten gains in and narrowly missed getting pinched by the local cops. What results is a decent boat chase scene and co-ordination stunts fleeing the cops. Good they outran the cops the pursuit ship had a Breda M37 heavy machine gun, belt fed so those wooden boats would have been splinters and the smugglers the contents of chunky salsa.

Automatically Luca suspects a rival gangster, Scherino(Fernando Murolo of A Man Called Magnum, Bomber, California, Three Brothers, Neapolitan Sting and Sicilian Connection) for ratting them out.

Boats...it's all fitting into place now.

Luca and Mickey express their concerns to da boss, Luigi. He tells them Mario is missing and... no wait. Sorry wrong Luigi. Luigi Perlante (Saverio Marconi of Padre Padrone, Orgo, Difendimi dalla notte, Crimes love and jealousy and Inspector Montalbano). No sooner have they expressed their concerns, one of Mickey's beloved horses is killed. Yeah equine lovers will want to skip that scene, and a fake police barricade is erected (heh heh). The faux cops proceed to gun down everyone in the car.  Mickey turned to Swiss cheese but Luca escapes. Seems almost like an homage to Coppola's Godfather when Sonny gets riddled. Fulci, tipping his hat to fellow masters of film.

Sneaking into Scherino's house, Luca almost blows him away when Scherino's men jump Luca, kick the crap out of him and tell him to bounce, claiming no part in the death of his brother.

Luca starts hitting the streets to find out who the bastardo is responsible for all this when he finds out about a Frenchman heroin kingpin is moving in on Naples. The Marsigiliese (Marcel Bozzuffi of Lucky Luke, Colt 38 Special Squad, Safari Rally, The French Connection, To Catch a King and Bilbao Blues) seems to be rubbing out all the gangs left and right, staking a claim to Naples for his own empire. Oh and the title simply means of or one from Marseilles. Bit of a let down, right?

His final words were, "Jazz Hands!"

The Marsigiliese doesn't deal well with a heroin shipment getting spoiled as he takes a frickin' blowtorch to a woman's head. Yup, in case you forgot this is a Fulci movie. Expect tons of graphic violence.

With blood being spilled like so much marinara sauce, it is pretty evident that The Marsigiliese doesn't play well with others as the bodies are stacking up like cord wood. AHEM! Where are the damn cops in all of this? My God there are corpses all over the ground, blocking alleys left and right, the hell are the cops? Polizia!!!

Luca, Perlante and Scherino have a meeting about what they're gonna do about the gun happy frog and the meeting feels off. A proposal to join forces and see how to remove him from the picture but again, feels out of sorts.

The Marsigiliese offers a sit down and frankly whoever is stupid enough to break bread with this nutter butter kind of deserves everything coming to them.

Will Luca have his revenge? Can his boss agree with the Marsigiliese? With there be an offer than no one can refuse?

This is a different area of expertise for Fulci and again, commonly I have seen most of his Horror films and a Sci-Fi fantasy film called Conquest. It's dark and gritty as similar to several crime dramas of this time just coming off the cusp the seventies movies like, The French Connection, The Mechanic, Dirty Harry or The Godfather.

Great pacing, simple and elegant story line and yes my version was English dubbed so you just know some of these lines got butchered.

I can't help but notice that Fabio Testi looks like Italian Sean Connery. Similar jawlines, rugged build and hell go look at a current photo of the guy. Cuts his beard like him as well.

Had a good time with this and for the horse lovers, there's a fire but nothing anywhere near the horse. The flames are background super imposed. Yeah I was afraid we'd see smoldering horse too as a dark standing but this isn't an Italian Cannibal animal mutilation exploitation director so we can all relax.

I did start laughing at the fight in the sulfur pits because the fight number sounds like a 70's soft core porn soundtrack.

 It's sinister, moody and damn good writing that pops off the page and on the screen. This is deemed a lesser known film but I was blown away by it. Well not as blown away as Mickey of course.

Looks like Ms. Jackson's turn to be nasty.

The Emerging Past: Director's Cut

Hey there readers! I'm back again. Well last week started off timid with a comic book movie then we got a hard hitting action flick, a POV zombie movie, so what can we do to embrace this week? How about a psychological thriller? Starring, written and directing by...Thomas J Churchill? Andy from Syndicate Smasher? Oh hell yeah. Okay I am stoked. Let's do this. This is The Emerging Past.

Yes folks, turns out Thomas J Churchill (A System Devoured, Lazarus: Apocalypse, Check Point,The Rack Pack, Birth of the Zombie and Nation's Fire) writes, directs, produces and acts so he is a Jack of all Trades. Move over, Bruce Campbell.

Hmm loving couple or Double Mint Gum ad?

Our opening credits sound like Harry Manfredini of the Friday the 13^th franchise and a news photographer Pam (Krista Grotte of The Rack Pack, The Lost, Check Point and Nation's Fire) describing some inherently messed up cult and a killing in graphic detail.  Jeez lady, the priest is used to masturbation confessions.   Father John (Edward X Young of Mega Man, The Green Monster, The Killer Clown Meets The Candy Man, The Gift and The Litch)is taking this all in stride as this crazy tale unfolds as Pam explains seeing a murder of a ritual sacrifice and the cops either didn't care or were in on it.

Father John kicks back with a whiskey and grabs a bath to Ave Maria playing in the background. I'm sure that was the soundtrack and not what he chooses to pipe in his room. Just before his appointment with Mr. Bubble, a POV killer gets to Father John, viciously attacking and gouging to death by a terrifying amount of strength, left looking like a cherry pie tossed at the wall.

Credits are interspersed with symbols of the church, Christ on the cross and the departed father now resembling stigmata and a crime scene. Within four minutes of our movie, the tone is clear. Evil's afoot.  Someone!  Call the Tick!!   A black clothed individual leaves the scene with a nice steady, and dare say carefree pace.   Guess it got the blood pumping as well as Father John's all over the walls.

Detective Vorheeses slashes through the red tape.

Detectives Vorheeses and D'mato (Rick Borgia of Ghost Source Zero, Proximity to Power, Tatalia, The Making of the Mob and My Father, The Don) are on the case. The moment I head D'Mato my brain went to exploitation/Italian mockbuster director Joe D'Mato of the Ator movies, Anthrophagous and Emanuelle flicks.

Cut to a hospital/mental ward holding Pam as she is cut up, been manhandled and no answers are good enough for the cops or the hospital staff. Yup she is being held for observation cuz she's talking crazy. Ugh, incomplete sentence structure there. Who am I? Frank Miller?

A quick stroll down flashback lane; we see Pam doing a little B & E and a fade to later cry in her bathrobe and hit the showers trying to make sense of the last 43 hours.  I normally cry in my PJs myself.

This film is shot and edited out of sequence to create an impact of events that have happened or ongoing. This isn't rocket science to figure out, people.

Is Pam having a nervous breakdown? Are there dark forces roaming the Earth? Did this black mass rituals bring about Trump's presidency?

And now trivia or things I noticed. Yes you didn't ask for it but you're getting it anyway.

Actor Mike Marino looked familiar and it hit me. Nikos, the Impaler. YuuuuuUUp, that Andreas Schnaas flick. Oh well, you got to start somewhere, right?

Funnier side note is Tony Moran. Any Carpenter buff would know him better as Michael Myers in the first Halloween. Okay, any obsessive fan would know this. Don't you judge me!

The orignal Jason potato sack and all of Friday the 13^th Part 2 fame, Steve Dash as Detective Vorheeses. Hmm might be a bit on the nose but hey I have done far cornier jokes in my Rotten Reelz Reviews Video Reviews on YouTube. It would also appear I am not above shameless plugs.

Okay I am actually confused on the hate poured onto this film. It's cut like a gruesome pulp fiction with supernatural themes, cult standings and visions that may or may not have happened to Pam. Maybe Pam is completely crackers. Maybe it is a huge cover up. Maybe you should watch it and draw your own conclusion like I did.

Ocu..pa..do..

With a smaller budget this was graphic, good camera work, subtle music hints and some quick and fast editing to offer a bizarre vision.  It offered good suspense and a solid cast bringing what they could to their roles.  I also didn't see half of the IMDB user complaints about every character had to be loved or deemed noteworthy.  The story is set, the characters are in play and I didn't see Churchill's focus that led me to believe you as the viewer, will remember every character. Secondaries get their time in front of the camera but it doesn't feel like favoritism.

Mind you, these are folks that buy an IMDB Pro account primarily to bitch and complain and offer no real constructive criticism. IMDB Trolls under these here bridges!

Little issue I had was how fast the pans were, photophobia didn't like that but nowhere near the BS of an Uwe Boll movie. That is Boll's filming without a stabilizer and puke worthy for anyone prone to migraines or seizures as we run through a forest with realism. Or lazy filming. Buy or build a unipod. Enough about Boll. No real bearing here.

I can't say I have any complaints about this film. Decent run time, good cast and compelling story. Of course the tragedy of the late Brooke McCarter (The Lost Boys, Thrashin', Double Switch, Wired, The Uh-Oh Show and Space Gila from the Deep) who passed away in 2015 as this was his last film.

With the theme of evil striking from the darkness with no mercy or quarter, I think it feels a bit similar to The First Power where madness and reason are just not going hand in hand. A touch of The Omen on the scale of oddity, this film is pretty good. I think some of the users at IMDB need to get a hobby. Try knitting a scarf, guys.

Pam's Vegas vacation gone off the rails.

Dead Kansas

And we're back ladies and gents to another blog. So as you know I just got through Green Lantern and the surprising good time that is Syndicate Smasher. At the request of the director of today's film I think we can give it the once over. Got to tell you, I am a bit overwhelmed at the love this humble blog is getting but we steady the course and keep pushing the silly and informative.

Today's movie hails from director Aaron K. Carter (Dead Kansas and An Hour to Kill) just breaking into the field with some writing and acting as well. Let's see if he can cut the mustard in Romero territory with his own zombie flick. This is Dead Kansas.

Our potluck dinners just don't do well. Huh hun?

We open with a POV shot as a father and daughter duo deals with one of these shamblin' stiffs known later as Rottens. Hey! That's my area. Moving on, a small prayer and a boomstick later we cut right to credits so we are in for a decent pace already.

We touch base with a paramilitary gathering of guys straight of Dawn of the Dead. We've got APCs, bikers, cats lifting weights and just killing time before a dangerous foray into zombie infested regions. Well looks like we got a Governor or Neegan like character Jebiediah (Michael Camp of Dead Kansas and An Hour to Kill) telling his pantheon of men that they are in a position to get everything they need. All they need to do is kidnap a girl and hand her over to the money bags fat cat and they'll have food, supplies and as much ammo as they can carry.

So the guys mount up and prepare to raise a little hell. Emma (Erin Miracle of Perceptio, Dead Kansas and Sweet Caroline) is a teenage girl stuck on a farm during a zombie apocalypse. Hey, we've all been there. Farm chores, popping zombies in the coconut, burying and burning the bodies. That folks, is what we call a rut. Her father Glenn (Aaron Guerrero of Dead Kansas and An Hour to Kill) is attempting to bestow skills and ideas to her and explain just how dangerous it is beyond their house but Emma's bored and has no one to talk to except her dad. Also Dad, she might possibly be interested in boys. 

Just sayin' the beard makes you look like the dude from Wishmaster.

Just his tone says, I'm the mentor character for you, little lady as Jebediah and his posse arrive toting enough firepower for a good skirmish. Glenn's having none of this and smokes a couple of this posse to get his point across when a "rotten" attacks Jeb's baby brother, Zeke (Kevin C. Beardsley of Dead Kansas and An Hour to Kill)

This is the part I am pointing out. Rather than a ton of improvised makeup, we got a POV quick jump cut attack. Yeah! That's astonishing! No boiling hot extras in makeup that is dribbling off of their heads, just a POV camera shot and cut to aftermath of attack. Why haven't we seen something like this before? Aside from POV shakey cam via Sam Raimi's deadite attacks via Evil Dead, you'd think people would have jumped on this idea AGES AGO..

Forced to the fruit cellar because of a tornado, my brain suddenly conjures Z Nation's Zomnado scene in first season. I almost expect to see a rotten gotten down in the cellar with them. Would have been a fun gag. The twister blows over and Glenn goes topside to see how things panned out. Apparently there were more than a few rottens up there as we hear a far amount of gun fire and Glenn looks to be removing a bitten limb. Ho boy. Get the ax.

More POV camera attacks and still have to give credit to a brilliant idea, the twosome head to Shambles due to the house getting slapped around.

Meanwhile, Jeb's having himself a serious moment of amping up the boys to hunt the duo down, pop Glenn and make off with the girl.

Shambles appears to be a farming community with decent enough guarded gates made up from carny folk. Of them is Squeak (the late Ben Woolf of Unlucky Charms, Dead Kansas, American Horror Story and Tales of Halloween) seems to be in charge and his giant known as... well Giant actually (the late Irwin Keyes of The Warriors, House of 1000 Corpses, Intolerable Cruelty, Dark Place, Dream Slashers and Horror High) grabs Glenn as we head back to a small carnival layout with brick walls, steel doors and narrow corridors so you could see how folk might bottleneck and get stuck behind one another.

With the amount of blood loss, Emma fears for her dad and asks the giant if there is anyone can help. Reluctant to tell her for all the danger in the area, he speaks of an older gent name of Doctor Emerson (Darryl Dick of Dead Kansas) and how he might be able to help if he is still alive.

With the aid and guidance of Skinny (Joe McQueen of Zombie Ed, Dead Kansas, Fight or Die and An Hour to Kill) they make their trek of five miles in record time to speak to the only doctor in the area.

Ambushed on the road by Jeb and his boys, it is looking more and more grim for Emma. Skinny and the caretaker must find Emma as she could be even more important they either of them ever imagined.

Okay, this is a micro budget first time attempt at a movie. There are a lot of elements going for it.  We have some fairly impressive performances from folks that clearly have not been in front of a camera before as well as, the name actors they managed to scoop up. This is primarily a cast of unknowns and they get a chance to shine. Juliette Danielle of The Room, 'Til Morning, The Trouble with Barry and Development Hell was part of the flashback sequence.

Yes we could argue no zombies and blood caked against the wall equals not a zombie movie but trust me, as a guy who saw Platoon of the Dead, this film has story, some decent music attached to it and the plot moves along at a decent pace. Frankly, if this is the outcome of what can be made on this tiny budget, I really want to see what can be captured with a larger one.

For an introductory into the making of film, Aaron K. Carter has the potential to really get some films going. I'd suggest more stabilizers for the hand held work. You can build a unipod on the cheap with a PVC pipe, PVC covers and a wing nut and screw and those things balance so well. Also 3M gaffer's tape for a good grip in the middle of the pipe.

For the initial try at bat, not too shabby. 

Later episodes of Captain Kangaroo I just didn't get.

Syndicate Smasher

Back again blog fans.   No sooner did I finish up Green Lantern, I got a request to view an existing film that wouldn't mind a little hype and input.   I think I can swing that.  So it would appear I am going to be partaking in a 80's homage to action with stars Laurene Landon (Maniac Cop, Maniac Cop 2, Hundra,I, The Jury, Armed Response and Samurai Cop 2) and character actor Mel Novak (Game of Death, An Eye for An Eye, Sword of Heaven, Moonbase, Vampire Assassin, Big Guns and Nemesis 5: The New Model). Novak gives good villain in the styles of Henry Silva,so you are always in for a decent monologue but I think he's on the side of the Angels this time.

Action and Horror producer/director BennyTjandra (The LBC: Smile Now, Cry Later, Blonde Squad, Lovesick 2 and Nation's Fire) takes the reins with our latest movie and we will see what he can do with them. This is Syndicate Smasher.

Who needs Rambo? We got Mel.

First off, I love this title. It's a bit of a throwback to the 1930's Columbia Pictures serials similar to Spy Smasher so I'm on board. Our story unfolds in Siberia (Looks a tad bit like Bronson Park and the existing cave area but who am I to kibitz?) as an elite squad of mercs are moving in on their target.   Later they take Walmart. (Is joke, comrade. Is being funny) Sporting 50 Barett sniper rifles, the convoy they have in sight could be taken down before they so much as regroup and defend.

Jack Samson's (Jon Miguel of Rise of the Zombies, Parts of Disease, Blonde Squad and Extraction:Genesis) position is compromised when his headstrong partner opens up with her sniper rifle and bodies start stacking like cord wood and all for a 100 large. 100 grand is a nice figure but it's at least 50 to 2 and those odds sound worse than betting all on black in Atlantic City.

Jack's partner Dasha (Olya Lvova of Blonde Squad, PhoenixCatcher84 and Curse of Sleeping Beauty) proceeds to smoke these commandos all in the first two minutes we got folks dropping like flies. Jumping the gun? Oh just a touch. Jack and Dasha are looking down the barrels of quite a few AKs when the rest of their team proceeds to go sick house on that unit. Mel Novak's character Milan opens up with a .50 Browning swivel mounted heavy machine gun (yes I am a gun nut, get over it) and in true Rambo style, reduces these guys to lumpy gravy. Stick from Game of Death is back, baby and got a big boomstick.

Dara (David Prak of Pirates of the Caribbean, Inherient Vice, The Rundown and No Escape) gunning down and mulching folk with LAW rockets. The rest of the team efforts mop up.

This Hardee's shake is horrible!

 Man, those Serbian commandos shot worse than storm troopers and Cobra combined. Also FYI in your next lives, don't hide behind blades of grass to avoid LAW rockets.

That whole bit of gunning down carnage goes on for almost 7 minutes. I know it's difficult to hit a moving target but again I am harping on these commandos. Their training was crap.

Our team makes it back stateside and then it gets a little crazy. Jack wants the team to do a little wet work in their backyard which let's face it, is dicey at best. Feds, cops and military can be up their collective asses quickly and violently like a drunken proctologist with poor depth perception.

A contract job worth $300,000 for taking out one man that is clearly off. No family to speak of, a house that was ceased by the city and he's been hiding out there for four months. Bells best be ringing and Admiral Ackbar is there to tell you it's a trap.

Contractee squeezes off his fair share of rounds managing to not get hit or hit the crew, Milan triple taps him, two to the heart, one to the head and they roll. Not sure if anyone bothered to collect shells or not.

Off to the courthouse where reputed "businessman Dippolito (Nic D'Avirro of Renegade, Baywatch, Baywatch Nights, Desert Son, Rounding Home and Track of Saints) is cleared of charges impending from an investigation. A Italian mob boss? Outrageous. Clearly an import/export business...that may or may not move smack around. A lucky break seeing the only prime witness was greased mere hours ago.

Enter Detective Carol Driscoll (Laurene Landon) as she points out how easily that could have been orchestrated on Dippolito's behest and that she will nail his ass to the wall.

He's got a rocket for your sprocket. Hey Hey! Ho Ho!

Milan's team is getting antsy as suddenly half up front isn't happening. Shocking that again the Russian mob doesn't care. You'd think four man hit squad would be folks you wouldn't want on your bad side. I mean let's face it, a little surveillance, watch their habits for a couple of weeks and boom. They could cripple their operations pretty effortlessly. Again now we have Italians and Russian mobs. Oh this can only get worse.

The crew meets up with some low ranking Yakuza for a smack deal and these guys are old school. No chem test just a taste test. You can lose your minions that way, fellas.

Driscoll hell bent on getting Dippolito and enter one Detective Beattie (character actor Joe Estevez of Soultaker, Werewolf, Roller Gator, Lethal Seduction, Hell Asylum and Samurai Cop 2) dealing with three very dead Japanese Nationalists with links to drug trafficking and it's all coming up Dippolito.

With our fierce foursome dodging the heat, the crooks and probably the Marines next, it's looking pretty grim.

Let me just say this, if gun fight violence and blood spraying every direction is your bag, you have found your film. We have a solid story, decent pacing, scenarios I didn't predict and trust me I have seen me some tropes but I had some genuine surprises in this film. Not nearly the exposition dump you expect from a smaller budget films, some choice camera angles and a sturdy cast.

Gun play worthy of a James Glickenhaus and/or John Woo flick. Yeah, envision The Exterminator meets The Killers.

FYI, I loved Thomas J. Churchill in this. Two and a half kilos dropped in his club and responded exactly like I would have. Plenty of WTF moments and getting pissed. I has laughing so hard.

Huh, I deal with valet parking the same way.  Double tap.

Green Lantern

Welcome back folks. Let's talk comic book flicks!

Yeah I know, there have been quite a few of them in the last 18 years. We just had Black Panther (soo good), Thor: Ragnarok (highly enjoyable) and Avengers: Infinity War (No I haven't seen it).

With 3 days away from the release of DP2 (sounds dirty that way, right?) Ryan Reynolds is getting to ride the Fox X-Men/Fantastic Four high and hope for more box office records with the newest Deadpool installment. But before the red and black gimp suit, before looking like Freddy Kruger's ass double and before wielding twin ninjatos, Reynolds was on a bit of a comic book slump. First the rolling dumpster fire that was Blade: Trinity where he really didn't get to play Hannibal King: Undead P.I., some of these films like RIPD got the shaft from critics world over.

Yet I cannot fault the actor that is in these roles. If the story is poorly constructed and flimsy dialogue (A David Goyer specialty) then it may fall on its metaphoric ass. Today's film gets a lot of flack in spite of a decent attempt at an origin story and trying to compress villains and heroes of more than a 75 year story line. This is Green Lantern.

So no chimichangas then?

From the director of Bond films, GoldenEye, Casino Royale and The Mask of Zorro, Martin Campbell tackles a DC Comics book character with a rich history in comics, graphic novels and even cartoons. Sadly, this did not go over nearly as well as was hoped.

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a former Air Force pilot now private contracted test pilot with Ferris Air, a man known to be cocky, arrogant and fearless. You know, a fighter pilot. Whose charm and wit land him virtually any girl he may want but the one he loves. Awww...

He proceeds to be late getting a test flight underway tackling a new Ferris prototype remote fighter that can anticipate what a human could manage.

After embarrassing his boss Carl Ferris (Jay O. Sanders of V.I. Warshowski, Kiss the Girls, Edge of Darkness and Sneaky Pete) and his junior executive/test pilot/daughter Carol (Blake Lively of Gossip Girl, The Town, The Age of Adaline, The Shallows and All I See is You) Hal is in deep kimchi and proceeds to be misunderstood and grumpy bumpy. A few flashbacks of his father a test pilot for Ferris he gets to remember his dad bringing an experimental plane in safely and then...die.

Superhero movie, remember? Almost always means dead parents.

SUPER CAAAAAAAR!!!

Meanwhile in space, a Green Lantern of said sector of space is combating a dangerous menace known only as Paralax. He crash lands on Earth and is mortally wounded. The ring chooses its successor for said Lantern Abin Sur (Termuera Morrison of The Island of Dr. Moreau, Once Were Warriors, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, The Barefoot Bandits and Moana) dragging Hal to his dying self, gives him vague notions that he is to be the next lantern in this very sector.

A tad daunting? To say the least. So off to intergalactic boot camp with aliens voiced by Geoffrey Rush and the late Michael Clarke Duncan as Tomar-Re and Boot Instructor Kilowog. Yup neither of these names mean a damn thing to the casual film goer. The comic book nerds are in awe and yet still not fully sold on the CGI glowy costumes.

Sinestro (Mark Strong of Blood, Zero Dark Thirty, Kingsman: The Secret Service, The Day Hitler Died, and Kingsman: The Golden Circle) the finest and bravest of the lanterns, thinks very little of Hal and speaks to the founders of the Green Lantern Corps, the Guardians that they must have a greater weapon than the GL ring.

FYI, this ring creates energy constructs only limited to your imagination and willpower. Nothing permenant but dude, Mechas and Kajuis against bad guys, right?

But Paralax has a minion on Earth listening to his dark whispers and sets site on destroying the planet or simply laying so much waste to it, his toady could rule what's left of it.

Hal realizes he needs to nut up or shut up as this fight is for our blue and green marble.

Now I have read plenty of critics' and IMDB users' comments on this film. Honestly, I liked it. I felt it needed a bit more editing and the extended 123 minutes does fill in story better than the 114minute theatrical but the glowy suits were a bit painful and main they needed to tone down some of that fluorescent green.

You have solid veteran actors, a decent enough origin story called Emerald Dawn and honestly the only real problem was the rush to get it to theaters. Give the extended version a viewing.

I'm sorry it wasn't Batman Begins or Man of Steel. Boo hoo. Not every story needs to be these two characters and DC was trying to get the ball rolling with their lesser known characters.

This was the first time they took off the safety net and tried something ballsy in the same way Marvel did. Is it a failure? No. Is it a great film? Not really. A decent film? Yeah you can have popcorn to it but it fell under a fair movie not a compelling movie. It is also the building blocks to launch obscure characters like Suicide Squad. So yeah, DC has never been Marvel. That's not a bad thing.

Both franchises have tons of characters and I for one, look forward to more risks like Green Lantern in 2020, they're trying to do more GL so stay posted for that.

Damn. No Pornhub in this sector.