BBC Week: Mystery!: Campion

Greetings and a warm welcome to all you little, enthusiastic readers.   Well we have seen a bit of space oddities and a loopy duo sketch comedy but what do you say to a little murder?   Oh not yours of course… (for now) but a poor miscreant that knew not where to turn.   So grab your meerschaum pipe, observe all and interrogate everyone.  This is Campion

 

A Doctor? Well I was once.

Albert Campion: Albert Campion- born May the 20^th 1900. Name known to be a spoiler. Education: priviledged.  Embarked on an adventurous career, 1929. Justice neatly executed, nothing sordid, deserving cases preferred. Police no object. Business address: 17 Bottle Street, Piccadily, London W1. Specialist in fairy stories.

A posh gentleman of well to do decides to use his cunning intellect to benefit people well deserving of some Justice, our Albert Campion (Peter Davison of Doctor Who, All Creatures Great and Small, The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything, Mrs. Bradley Mysteries, At Home with the Braithwaites and Law and Order:UK) is a believer in his clients and will stand by them until the truth is unveiled.  Oh he has come to expect his clients to tell the odd fib or the blatant lie but with his companion of ill repute Magersfontein Lugg (Brian Glover of An American Werewolf in London, Doctor Who, Lost Empires, To Kill a Priest, Kafka and Alien 3), a man of many talents and friends in low places the two seek out to prove who done it, how they did it and why. 

Commonly Campion deals in the unusual cases or be it the unorthodox.   Many is the time his deductive reasoning is called into play when a murder has occurred and he does his level best to remain objective.  That being said the dear fellow does have a wandering eye for the most unavailable lady but steadies himself to not pursue such endeavors in spite of his manservant Lugg’s teasings.

When utterly baffled Campion’s police friend Stanislaus Oates (Andrew Burt of Emmerdale, The Bill, Oscar Charlie, I’m Alan Partridge and MI-5) does come around for the advice on a case if not a hire for that same case.

Whut you lookin' at? Clear off!

And now I have a few tidbits about the creation of itself.  This show is set in the 1930’s as a nod to its phenomononal writer Margery Allingham. Campion was nothing more than a minor character in The Crime at Black Dudley but came back strong in Mystery Mile.  After a less than stellar response to her occult in mystery series, Campion seemed to be a winner with three novels under her belt and she even wrote short stories and some journalism for The Strand Magazine.  Campion was such the success that she went on to create 17 more novels and over 20 short stories of the fellow.  Campion has ties in nobility and government as well as known to get around the more dubious in the criminal underworld allowing his ear to always be able to catch a thing or two.  Rather than the obsessive nature of Sherlock Holmes, Campion’s series is a bit more lighthearted and jovial even in the face of danger.

And that is my badger impersonation. Nifty, huh?

MST3K Week: Soultaker

Welcome ladies and gents back to the end of MST3K Week and I felt it was fitting and fair to have not only Mike and guest starring both Joel Robinson and TV’s Frank return for the fold.   Impossible you say?  All things are feasible in the kooky world of sci-fi comedy.  Grab yerselves a sodey pop, snag some popcorn and get comfy.  This is Soultaker.

So bacon doesn't fix out everything?

Is it every a time for spoilers to rock?

Ambitious writer/director/actress Vivian Schilling (Prison Ship, Terror Eyes, Project Eliminator and The Legend of Wolf Mountain) tried her gosh darnest to bring us a quality horror movie with dramatic undertones and a love interest story that would span the test of time.   Instead we got Soultaker, an amalgamation of gibberish, at least two B movie actors and an Estevez you do NOT recognize at all.  

As this is Season 10 in MST3K and the very first episode of the year our Best Brains Production came up with the wacky idea that a vessel that has travelled through parallel dimensions, foreign planets and different timelines just might…break down?   Say it ain’t so!  The Satellite of Love is still in her prime I tells ya!   

When it becomes apparent that Mike could not patch a relay let alone find his hinder with a flashlight and a GPS, They turn to Pearl for help.   As predicted Pearl could care less if their orbit decays and the crew roasts like suckling pigs at a redneck jamboree. 

Dream maker!! Oh wait it's Joe Estevez.  Thought it was Martin.

Enduring our overtly dramatic tale of an angel of death siphoning souls to Heaven or Hell, we find that our lead heroine and resident soul sucker might have very well been lovers…in another lifetime.  *Cues Dark Shadow incidental music*

Alas Soulsucker is thwarted by our plucky heroine and her Stamos wannabe boyfriend as they race across town, souls separated from their bodies in a desperate attempt return to the mortal plane.   Will they make it in time?  Will true love prevail?   Will Stamos wannabe run out of his nancy boy hair gel?

Yeah yea I am gonna poke fun at the film now.   Actually I love the host segments of the show.  Getting to see Joel and Frank again even for a short span of time was a great kick.   The end credits of this film Tom and Crow are just vicious to the film as they describe the never-ending torment of Stamos wannabe’s bleak existence and each turn of the page just makes him a horrendous shallow shell of himself.    They slowly snip and snipe at this poor lad and berate him to no end and Mike starts snickering through some of it.

Geez looks like a beanbag with eyes and a mullet.

Led Zeppelin was wrong man.  There is no stairway to Heaven!   Does that mean Sabbath was wrong too, bro?  Yeah it was long winded, confusing, disturbing and a bit out there but by no means was it entertaining nor thought provoking.   Mike and the bots cup your hand gently and give you a reassuring pat to tell you yes it is horrible but we have jokes to soothe your psyche.

Life in Fallout 3

Hey folks sorry for last week's lack of blog.  I was quite ill. I hope this will make up for it.

Now being a Fallout RPG turn based fan I was skeptical but Fallout 3 turned out to follow Fallout 2 (1997 and 1998 sequel to the original) in the same standing of being open ended with no time limit to speak of.  10 years had passed since Fallout 2 and we were promised by Interplay then Black Isle that we would see a Fallout 3.  Finally after buying the rights Bethesda Softworks brought us our FPS/skill-based/post-apocalyptic dream come true.   Rather than be in California as the two predecessors were, this takes place in the heart of democracy Washington D.C.  After 2077 it is now referred as the Capital Wasteland.  Our great monuments have collapsed, roads and freeways are devastated and no government or police are in control.  Might makes right. 

We start off the game with a series of cut scenes from your character’s birth and growing up in Vault 101.  An underground fallout shelter that is capable of housing 1,000 people.    I should note no matter your sex or skin color your father James is still white and voiced by none other than (Liam Neeson of Darkman, Love Actually, The Phantom Menace and Schindler’s List)  James is a scientist who believes in helping his fellow humanity as best as he can.   As you age you learn more about your relationship with your father and life in Vault 101.   Your mother dies delivering you in childbirth so you are raised solely by your father.  You grow up in spurts through cut scenes, little whispers throughout each aging process hints to events of the past and the present day.   James tells you as an infant a bible passage that reflects his life’s work in trying to better humanity.   At age ten you receive your own Pip-boy 3000.  This arm band computer interfaces with radio signals, tells you your health, points out radiation in your area and inventories your supplies you pick up during the game.   At age 16 you take your Generalized Occupation Aptitude Test or G.O.A.T. to help sum up what career you are best suited for in Vault life. You of course try to weasel your way out of it by faking a cold.  Best of luck with that when your father is the Vault’s chief physician.

 After breaking up a squabble or joining in on it, you take your test and proceed on to Age 19, to be awaken by your friend Amata to discover your father somehow left the Vault and the Overseer is furious.  The chief of the guards beat your father’s assistant Jonas to death.  A man you have known and respected your whole life.  You must choose to escape or be dealt the same.  Fending off radiation enlarged cockroaches and some of the vault security.   Save the ammo folks.  The ball bat does a pretty good job of defending yourself and it is, kill or be killed scenario. You make your way to and out of confides of the home you have known since you were a boy/girl and out into the unknown with nothing more than what you took with you.  Vault 101 is up the hill from a shambled town known as Springvale.  One lone resident silver is hiding out from a neighboring town called Megaton.   You will have to probe her for answers if you care to know.  Or be a brute, kill her and take everything she owns.   An elementary school is not far from Silver’s place is crawling with raiders.  If you are lacking in firepower or armor, my advice is get stocked before waging a fight with these lot.

Wandering out into the wasteland you will encounter raiders that prey on the helpless, Ghouls and Super Mutants, creatures that were once human now mindless monsters that terrorize the surrounding towns.     Meeting pockets of humanity and their plights it is up to you what sort of a person you are going to be.  Will you be a decent compassionate man/woman?   Will you turn into a heartless monster with no cares except your own interests?   Will you be passive to some and help to others that can pay you a wage?   The choice is yours.  Are you to be the savior the Capitol Wasteland or its destructor?   Will you be a hero or villain?  Only you can answer that.     The graphics engine that Bethesda Software developed is phenomenal.   The background, the colors from rusted metal to the rising and setting sun this game was awarded Game of the Year in 2008 and people are still raving about it and recommending it to friends.   Its Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System or V.A.T.S. for short allows characters to train their weapons melee or firearms alike at points of vulnerability.  Ideal for the sniper character or if you just simply think it will take out your target faster.   An amazing voice cast with Liam Neeson and Malcom McDowell to name a few.  Sound captures the imagination so well.  Different outfits and armor can change the pitch of what shoes or boots you are wearing.  Guns and rifles are not a universal lumped effect GOTY allows modifications on everything from characters and armor to the quests and weapons.  I have also been able to play the PS3 console based game and the controls are a bit sensitive but you soon develop a rhythm.  

  A word of warning for those photophobic or seizure prone:  This is a real-time fasted paced game.  There will be a quick pitch in combat especially in V.A.T.S. as you see your character shoot, slash or bash your targets and it could very well be jaunting so my advice is to skip it if you suffer from either affliction.  That being said from the rest of you who are Fallout fans, DO NOT let this one slip through your fingers and enjoys the in-depth story arc and game.

Gem of the Month- Sundown: Vampire in Retreat

What do you get when you combine vampires, substitute for blood and Utah?   Well here’s a hint: Not True Blood.   No, this is Sundown: Vampire in Retreat by Director Anthony Hickox (Waxwork, Waxwork II and Warlock the Armageddon) and written by John Burgess.  Deep in the heart of…okay not Dixie but Utah exist a town called Purgatory.  A town filled with incredibly pale people that are covered from the sunshine with parasols and large brimmed hats.   This town of vampires has rejected the ways of the night and preying on the innocent is lead by master vampire Count Mardulak (John Carradine of Kung-Fu).  The town has a processing plant that is making an artificial blood to curb the need to feed but it breaks down and only one man can repair or refurbish parts for it.  Enter the Harrison Family.  John (Jim Metzler L.A. Confidential and Bad City Blues) brings wife Sarah (Morgan Brittany of Love Boat and Dallas) and their two kids to this remote and isolated town where neither of them is the wiser to this odd little bit of Americana.   Seriously they are so thick you could clock them in the coconut and it might not register until a day or two later.  On the trail of Count Mardulak is fearless vampire hunter Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead, Spiderman and Burn Notice) determined to end the evil that is a bloodsucker only to be smitten by lovely vampire Sandy (Deborah Foreman of Valley Girl and Waxwork) John’s former rival for Sarah’s affection Shane (Maxwell Caulfield of Waxwork II and Empire Records) who happens to be the town’s chief engineer but he needs John’s expertise.

  

  The Harrisons’ little girls note the townsfolk seem a bit different and are clued in that there are two factions of vampires.  One attempting to repent and the other is return to the old ways.   The Count attempts to maintain the peace while his right hand man Ethan Jefferson (John Ireland of Gunslinger and Waxwork II) tells vampires that they have nothing to feel guilty about and they should revel in their powers.   How does one solve those differences?  Why with a shoot out of course.   This film combines comedy, horror and western all in one unusual package.   My favorite thing about this film is the three brothers Milt (Bert Remsen of The Bodyguard and McCabe and Mrs. Miller) Merle (Sunshine Parker of Tremors  and Roadhouse) Mort (M Emmet Walsh of The Flash, Bladerunner and Chasing 3000) Bisby.  They all run this tiny gas station and look like they are just a gnat’s wing flap away from brutalizing humans.  Mort knocks the head off of this coked up jackass for being rude and abusive.   The two campers were really unnecessary characters as a whole.

Admittedly the film did seem like there was filler thrown in and John Carradine’s performance did seem a little off (methinks drinking days still), and sure he and Bruce were hardly in any of the scenes but dammit it was a fun movie.   The movie finishes off at 104 minutes and while it dragged a bit you got the scope of what the director was trying for. I ask you to find me a vampire story with conflict, romance and gunfight worthy of the OK corral and in general, an amazing cast.   A lot of tongue in cheek humor combined with a potential love triangle story line sprinkled with some rivalry and a few odd gore effects and you have a fairly decent film.  

Spectacular Spider-man

Hey true believers… hehe sorry had to get that out of my system.   From the original release of 1964 Marvel Comics created Spider-man via Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.  In 1967 an animation of same titled character was created and while the artwork was a bit hammy as was some of the storylines it was true to the hero.  From the 1970’s to the 1990’s each incarnation took its own spin on the wall crawler but missed the mark by several inches until 2008’s creation that blew away even the most doubting of fan boys and girls.  So grab your tights and spare web cartridges and brush up on your banter.   This is The Spectacular Spider-man Season 1.

In tradition with the standings of most of the varied releases this version is no different in giving Spidey’s younger years thus we are off to Midtown High where Peter Parker is all of 16 years of age fending off crooks and baddies with puns and punches.   The animation hails from Adelaide Productions.  The team responsible for (Jackie Chan Adventures, Roughnecks: The Starship Trooper Chronicles and Men in Black: The Series) and Culver Entertainment for distribution.  A great take on an old thang.  The stories have consequences, real character development and an expanding storyline.  Villains of yesteryear galore and Spidey is on his own fighting nutballs in costumes, bullies at school and J. Jonah Jameson for libel on his every other movement.  It feels real nice to be wanted huh?  

The crux of this version in my belief is the voice cast that was assembled.   Peter Parker/Spider-man (Josh Keaton of Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions, Marvel Super Hero Squad, Transformers Prime and Green Lantern: The Animated Series), Gwen Stacey (Lacey Chabert of Party of Five, Mean Girls, Transformers: Rescue Bots and Young Justice) Captain Stacey and the Rhino (Clancy Brown of The Highlander, Starship Troopers, The Shawshank Redemption) and Harry Osborn (James Arnold Taylor of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Valkyria Chronicles II, Batman: The Brave and the Bold) to name a few but be honest you want to know about villains and man o man have we got villains.  Dipping into Spider-man’s substantial rogues’ gallery we have a bouquet of voices to match their cartoon likeness.

The Vulture: the high flying vengeful scientist Spidey encounters voiced by none other than Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Mangler, Hatchet, Justice League) Hammerhead: low ranking lieutenant to an unannounced villain in the shadows.  With a steel (or sometimes adamantium) plate in his head and a rough right cross voiced by veteran voice actor John DiMaggio (Bender of Futurama, The Problem Solverz and Batman: The Brave and the Bold) as well as The Sandman: a being turned into living sand that can mold his body into any shape he desires.

  Again as previously mentioned the lingo and dialogue has been updated to suit the younger viewers but does not detract that this metamorphosis of Spider-man can and will mostly be viewed by mature fans of many ages.  Those of us that grew up with the comics will most likely agree that this version of Spider-man was well drawn, well written and properly executed the fullest of its capabilities.   Alas this series was only made for two seasons and had not been picked back up.  What does that mean in the long run of things?  Well maybe a revamp of it is on its way but most likely with the Ultimate Spider-Man creation that it will be shelved leaving potential story lines unfinished.  Who knows what future holds for this web-head franchise.  I, for one will enjoy these episodes with my nephews.